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Not sure how you get 21 outs ? I count only 12 outs where I would be confident of winning
1 - Ten of spades for RF.
8 - Other spades for nut flush.
3 - Other tens for straight.
The 3 aces might also put you ahead but your opponent could be holding AQ, AJ, A9, AA, QQ, JJ, 99, KT, T8.
The 3 kings similarly may put you ahead but there are even more hands that have you beat.
Also note your flush would not be the absolute nuts if the 8 or 9 of spades hit. Ts9s or Ts8s respectively would give your opponent a straight flush 8,9,T,J,Q (admittedly this is unlikely)
Point is don't over estimate the number of genuine outs that you have. Otherwise you will be calling down far too many hands where you are drawing dead.
Facing a big bet on the river, 15 outs is about as good as it gets. eg you have KsTs with a Qs Js 3c board. (9 for the flush and 6 more for the straight). So with odds of 2:1 against, i am folding every time.
On your second point you call and see the river card for cheap. If you raise it gives your opponent the opportunity to re-raise big and you then no longer have the odds to call.
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