One Line Lessons... Please share yours! =)

I think i've learned more from "one liners" than from everything eles, so I thought I'd start a topic to collect them.

I'll start with a few I like, and leave others to fill in the blanks =)


* If it's good enough to call, it's good enough to raise.
* KQJT is twice as good as AKQJ.


What are your favorites?

"Hey baby, come here often?"

Oh, you mean poker. I got a few with varying degrees of validity.

"If you're not willing to bet it all, then don't bet at all."

"Never bluff a poor player, heavy winner, or heavy loser."

"Always go into a tournament with a game plan."

Never aruge with an idiot, they will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

-Don't get broke with AQ
-I would be very surprised if our suspect was from Brainerd

'You can't bluff calling stations'

two pair is not a liscense to print money

If you showed 10 of your greatest plays, 8 of them would be folds.

-'rilla

"Don't lose all your chips in an unraised pot"

AK is an unmade had, don't go AI like you have the nuts.

posted in wrong place

psst aokrongly, wrong thread...

Nice Advice for Toadstool though =)

Another one:

*All you need is a chip and a chair.

Thats the one I remember when i'm short stack

If you can't figure out who the sucker is at the table... You're it.

something a500lbgorillajust said in another thread belongs in here as well:

"If you don't lose all your money there, you played it wrong."

If you don't lose all your money there, you played it wrong.

Rilla said that in another thread. A guy hit trip 6's on the flop and was wondering if he played it right by getting all of his money on the table.

Good quote...

I don't get mad, I get stabby.

Fat Tony from the Simpsons.

Originally Posted by pelerojoJE

two pair is not a liscense to print money

license*

Frikin Fnord told this to me. I hate him, but love him, it's some good advice.

Two pair is NEVER the nuts.

I also enjoy the "If you don;t lose all your money there you played it wrong quote"

You can't lose what you dont put in the middle.

Originally Posted by ilikeaces86

You can't lose what you dont put in the middle.

of course, you can't win much either.

Soupie quoting Patton to Radashack with a twist.

In poker as in loving you've got to keep in shoving

Winston Churchill

"Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, give up!"

"Pigs get fat, hogs get slaughtered" not sure where this is from but I like it.

"When in doubt, fold."

I used to use "when in doubt, push" but then I realized I should have folded 90% of the time.

OMG I AM WEAK-TIGHT I AM A HORRIBLE MONSTER AND I PRAY FOR DEATH

AKs pwns AKo.

^ Just ask NuWere.

"You can shear a sheep many a time, but you can skin it only
once." - Amarillo Slim

Its silent at the table just say "watch out I just sharted"

"Remember to remember what they remember." - Soupie

"have some guts with the nuts" - soupie

I saw Penneywize quote this .....

Pot odds are pot odds, but a made hand is gold.

Best line of the week -- from Lee Jones's cardplayer article on SNGs.

(on a really foolish crying call at the river)
"Sure, it would have been tough to come back from $400, but it was a lot easier than coming back from $0."

"Remember to remember what they remember." - Soupie

wow i really like this one, and i could never spell liscense.

They always have the ace.

Good manners costs you nothing, bad manners can wake the sleeping shark.

No one knows where the hobo goes when it snows (Amarillo Slim after being busted on a bluff).

When in doubt get out.


In theory there's no difference between practice and theory, in practice there is.

hmm, i have a few

fold kq to any pf raises in a higher limit game that isn't full of retards

stop calling All-ins with vulnerable hands (big one for me today)

never underestimate the power of stupid players, you need really good hands to take them down

don't worry about pot odds so much, if you're beat, and you know it, fold.

when in doubt, raise

bluffing big pots in cash games is a good way to lose chips (unless of course you've laid down some monsters before this, DONT BLUFF)

learn the difference between aggression and bluffing, theres a fine line

Even bad players get good cards

"Slow playing is highly overrated."

btw Winston Churchill was a worthless pokerplayer. He once played poker against a bunch of American journalists who had been told to lose on purpose. He still couldn't win.

Churchill: "Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, give up!"

Sounds like a calling station to me.

Never call UTG.

Originally Posted by UncleBuddy

There is only one solution when cards aren't coming....Don't see a river.

"You can't worry about somebody having the nuts all the time."
-Doyle Brunson

As a new player, I've had a hard time remembering this at crunch time. Especially in big heads-up pots in the of live tournaments I've played so far.

Don't bluff at calling stations.
Have a proper roll. Good poker= fearless poker.

Holy crapballs - someone has way too much time on their hands if they are fishing up posts over 7 months dead.

*In no-limit hold 'em, every time you put one chip in the pot, you're entire stack is at risk --Harrington

big one i learned as a begginner
*never EVER listen to that voice that says "I know I shouldn't call, but..." If you know you shouldn't call, then why ever do it?

"They always just play their cards." -ilikeaces86

-'rilla

Don't fucking tilt, retard.

"Dont slow play AA"

"Drop the fucking hammer"

patience, patience, patience....................

"Betting less than a third of the pot is like dropping the fucking decorative throw-pillow"

I forgot who said that

Originally Posted by iopq

"Betting less than a third of the pot is like dropping the fucking decorative throw-pillow"

ROTFLMAO

My vote for #1

I think the best one that still rings true is

"The key to no limit is to put a man to a decision for all his chips" - Doyle Brunson

ahh! i had the throw pillow one in my sig forever but forgot who said it... maybe it had a d in it?

"Raising now would really make you a poker genius"
"Folding you cards will make you a poker master"
"If you were to call right now you would really be making use of the pot odds"

-Ken Chan, what to say in chat to get someone to raise, fold, or call.

When someone asks you how to play better.

Fold more Bet more Call less


This is all me

"min raises are the DEVIL!"

Originally Posted by aokrongly

If you're callin' you're fallin'

when i first started playing, this one line turned my whole game around and stopped my continuous losing. i think aok could have like 1oo quotes in this thread.

DO NOT BET THE RANCH ON TOP PAIR

i dont know if its been said, but it was the one thing that plugged huge leaks in my game in one shot. Possibly making use of this rule makes your poker profitable in one simple go. just my 20cents

I think Spino quoted this one in another thread:

Play dominating hands in position. Fold dominated hands out of position.

So you shouldn't play dominating hands out of position. And you should play dominated hands in position.

ok my quote which I think is originally said by Amir Vahedi "in order to live you must be willing to die"

OR as I also tend to say "Live to fight another day"

These are especially for tournaments as you can probably imagine.

Fool me once then shame on you but fool me twice then shame on me.

http://politicalhumor.about.com/libr...a/foolbush.mov

"Your ultimate goal in poker is to get your money in the middle when you have the best hand, after that you can do no more"

Not sure where I heard it but I have a sneaky suspission it was 'rilla and I don't wan't to admit that.

Helped me out a lot because I always thought poker was about pushing people out of pots and what not, I didn't realise that if you consistently get your money in with the best hand you can never loose (in the long long term).