My biggest leak: Sniffing out the set.

Anybody else have this problem with their game? I know that a set with a player having a pair in his hand is one of the most powerful and deceptive hands there are, but i still kill myself over calling a river-raise with TPTK or Top Two Pair from someone smooth-calling and they turn up 55 with a 5 on the flop. Im getting a little more leary of it though, raising with AQ and when the flop comes Q 10 7 and i get action i get suspicous (set or overpair), but 90% of the time im up against the set i lose the pot and alot of chips. I dont have a problem getting bluffed, it doesnt bother me one bit if if got Top Two and a flush card falls on the river and a guy whos been check-calling fires out a huge bet and i read him for a flush and lay it down. If he had it, great, if he didnt, so what. Nobody's right all the time and I give him credit for having the balls to represent the hand. But reading the set is so hard for me. You can obviously read a board for a straight or flush, but any board no matter how safe the texture looks can have a set lurking.

If you guys raise a pot from early position with AK or AQ and flop the K or Q, and lead out and bet, if you get raised/called how do you proceed? Is it an automatic call of the raise if there's no straights or flushes on the board? If there are two to a flush or straight and you get the call how do you proceed on the turn? What if the flush or straight card DOESNT fall and you bet again and get raised? How easy is it for you to let go of the hand? What if the straight or flush card DOES fall? Now what? These are the times if im out of position im torn between the bet again and the check, which they can now use to either bluff at the pot and represent they made their draw, or check and get a free card. It's easier for me to let go of the hand when a scare card falls than when it doesnt, but im still weak in these situations. I know this is alot of questions, but im no pro and none of my friends are either, so this is the only place i know to come to with a problem. Thanks for any input guys.

There's very little you can do about sets, but it looks like you've got an instinct for what little you can do. Just solidify your notions and make them into hard rules that you follow strictly. Ideas on what these might look like:

-If you've ONLY got TPTK, be more willing to laydown, as big bets/raises could just as easily be 2pair. This applies even if there aren't straights or flushes possible. Applies doubly if any ace is onboard, because of the Ax crowd.
-If you've got two pair, especially top two pair, it's much harder. An AK two pair is going to the river every time, sorry. Don't forget there are more As and Ks in the deck, so you could over-boat the guy. That's nice. I did that the other day.
-At the river, a gigantic reraise of your big bet on top two pair requires careful thought. Most of the weak-passives you find at low limits are not capable of doing this without a set or better. Then again, some weak players do this with a TPTK when none of the draws pan out.
-Did opp quickly call an affordable PF raise? Then hesitate to call with medium or big cards on the flop? Then "wake up" suddenly when a seemingly-unrelated card appeared? All food for careful thought.