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 Looking Back
Warning: Long Read ahead 
Just a little story for everyone that may be starting poker online. It will have a lot of the same stuff that the stickies and often-quoted books and threads have, but I just want to get a personal tale out there so that newcomers get a feel for the game from the perspective of someone who hasn't been the most winningest player, and is on the road to greatness (and not just illusions of grandeur!)
I got into online poker 2 years ago. I had $500 to my name as a 2nd year college student. Not surprisingly, $500 disappeared from my bank account in a matter of days. There was no way I could tell my parents, but at the same time, there was no way I could stop playing. I was addicted beyond belief.
If the game starts to take control of your life, step away. Re-evaluate EVERYTHING that matters.
As soon as I would get money from my paycheck, I'd throw it online, $100 here, $200 there, sitting down at the $1/$2 NL tables because $.10/$.25 and was way beneath me - come on, I'm not a donk, I've been playing for over a year with my friends. And I read up on forums. My play isn't bad. I'm just getting bad beats.
Damn, my KK just got beat again. I know there's an A on the flop, but I really didn't think it could happen this time.
Understand every hand is independent from a statistical standpoint. Holding grudges and recalling past situations will not change the outcome of this hand.
And for two years or so it went on like that. Only, as I started to make more money in the real world, so did the swings in my poker life become more serious. My paychecks were hitting $1k+, I didn't need to worry about living expenses. Student loans would cover that. Time to play poker!
So now the $100 here / $200 there became $500-600 every other week (thanks to Firepay, they wouldn't let me deposit more. But I knew if I kept putting in more, I'd eventually beat the system. I had to!).
Granted, now I was playing the big kids tournaments. Sure, I won a couple of $1000 tournaments, but just as quickly did I win did the illusions of greater things enter my head. I even remember the second time I won one of those, my first instinct was to sit at a $5/$10 and double that $1000 into $2000. Imagine the possibilities! Screw bankroll management, I was going big.
DON'T EVER NEGLECT BANKROLL MANAGEMENT. Read the threads on it. Understand it. Carry it out. DO NOT, EVER, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE THINK THAT CERTAIN BLIND LIMITS AND TOURNAMENTS ARE 'BENEATH YOU'.
Sorry for the caps there, I got a little carried away. Surely you know by now that bankroll management is key. After all, you wouldn't want to explain away to the parents or the spouses that you don't have any of the money they thought you did.
Ohh, this brings up a really good point:
People who don't play poker don't understand it's not ALL luck. People who do will not be entirely too sympathetic to the fact that you just play poorly.
I went behind my parents back, took out loans, borrowed money from friends, all so I could play. MORE POKER. That's what my life was telling me. It got to a point where I lost $1400 in one week, and I collapsed in tears. Every time I deposited more money, my gut just got tighter and tighter.
It got so bad at that point, I went to Gamblers Anonymous. I couldn't take it anymore. I needed help, and I was hoping they could give it to me.
And when I got there, all I could see are people whose lives have been ruined by gambling. They're slowly rebuilding, but you can see the deepness of the wounds. I would never wish their fate to anybody.
And then it dawned on me. It wasn't fate that got them there. It wasn't fate that got me there. It was each and every one of our own actions.
You and you alone are responsible for what happens, in and outside of any game.
I eventually decided that GA wasn't for me. I've since reclaimed my life, such that although I still enjoy poker thoroughly, it isn't the focus of everything I do. I don't spend paychecks and student loans on it. If I have a substantial amount of extra money, I'll throw $50 on from time to time to have fun.
Now, two years later, here I am. A much wiser person, and a much stronger poker player (see this does tie into playing poker  ). Reading these forums have helped a lot with every issue I've ever had, and I would advise anybody to read up on the game before they think they know what they're doing.
I thought I knew, and you just had the long version of what happens when you make a mistake like that.
I like to think I've started my life over, from a poker perspective and otherwise. As a result of my past misfortunes, the brashness of a young stud with stars in his eyes, I think my game has improved considerably.
For anyone with the disposable income that I mentioned, you could learn the lessons I did for the same $4000 or so that I've spent. Or you could read the rest of the post
Now that you've had my life story, I'll get down to the nitty gritty of what I've learned as a poker player, to share with you the results of all the pains that I went through learning this game:
- Be wary of table chat. Since tells are much harder to come by in online poker, table chat is one way someone will be able to pick up on you very easily. A sudden shift in the "tone of voice," the speed of a response, the sudden stopping of chatter when you have big hands. People can and will pick up on it.
- Don't let heckling get to you. Oops, you made a donk move. It happens. Hopefully not to much, but you may have been in the wrong when making a play. If you think it wasn't that awful, and don't understand why you'd be insulted for doing it, post it in the appropriate forum. People comment daily on lines, and they'd be glad to give you help on fixing leaks.
- Poker players are not your friends. I might get some guff for this one. After all, this forum is all about helping each other. But what I mean by this, is that at the table, you are not looking to be friends with people. You are looking to win the game. If you're not looking to win the game, sit down with me, or just transfer some money. If you wouldn't do that, you shouldn't be sitting at a poker table without the intention to win.
- Understand the odds. Statistics are not the end-all to poker. Over an infinite number of hands, you may very well be the favorite by 70%. Guess what? The other 30% could be coming in the form of hands that you are dealt for the next 5 years. 5 years is a very short term for variance considering the length of forever. When you think you are beat, drop the cards. If you don't think you are beat, play the odds. If you're hoping, then you think you're beat. Just walk away.
- Fix leaks ASAP. Seems obvious, but people don't always know what their leak is. Post some questionable hands that you think you should be winning and just aren't. Or if you see two people in a hand making plays you never would've thought to make, post that too and ask for input. ASK ASK ASK. The more you ask, the more you learn.
- Look at your personal stats. If you have the money, invest in some software with DB managment like PokerTracker. Follow yourself and others. At the very least, look at how many hands you're playing. Classify yourself based on your style of play (TAgg, LAgg, Passive, etc.), and see if the ranges of cards you're playing and the amount of flops your seeing conveys that image. See if that image is even the one you want to really be conveying.
- Manage the Bankroll. I felt it deserved another shout out.
- Understand the difference between a bad beat and a bad play. A bad beat is specifically when you have all your money in with the best hand and wound up losing. It is not a bad beat to push KK on an A 2 3 flop and lose to Ax. It sucks, but it happens. Minimize when it happens.
- Monster draws are NOT monster hands. Separate the two RIGHT THIS INSTANT. A monster draw will be a big payout IF it hits. What are the chances of it hitting? Are you getting appropriate pot odds to call for the draw? Are you trying to bet someone out and got reraised? Could someone be drawing to better even if you hit your draw? Analyze the situation, and understand that the monster draw is not a made hand. 22 will still beat your Royal Flush draw if it misses. Oops, guess your AK wasn't that good after all.
- Take breaks for life. I don't really know what this "life" thing is, but apparently it's important. Seriously, though, if things are getting out of hand, or even if you're just seriously flustered from some donk busting you on the bubble in a tourney, remember: it happens to the best, and even more to the worst. And then even after you remember that, close the program, take a walk, do some exercise, get your mind off the game, and relax. Poker is emotionally and physically draining. It's like amazing sex when you're doing great, and it's the crappy-relationship-you-stuck-with-for-the-amazing-sex when you're losing. Take a breather.
- Relax while you're playing. If you're tense and emotionally unstable at any given moment, it will shine through the cards into everyone you play with. Enjoy the game. It is a game after all. Don't be so lax that you're careless, but be loose enough that you enjoy what you're doing. If you can't enjoy a game, it's not worth playing. Prospect of money or not, it's just not worth playing.
- You won't be a winner right away. Even if you think you're a winner, you're not. We're talking sample sizes in the thousands until you can say you actually do know how to play and are "winning." Short term variance equates to luck. Don't let the fact that you placed in the money for 5 sit & gos get you all riled up to the point where you say "Psh, these $5.00 + .50 S&Gs are too little, I'm rocking these tables, I can handle the $20.00 + 2.00 S&Gs." You are not a winning player. You happen to be doing well. Move up when appropriate and comfortable (see bankroll management). No sooner, and no later.
- People aren't statistics. No matter how much they weren't getting odds to call your bluff, people will do it. No matter if they have 10 outs or 1 out, they will hit it sometimes. It's a matter of fact. Sometimes you can be upset that they played a certain hand, sometimes you can even get a little angry, but everyone can justify things in their own right, and sometimes they just want to gamble, even if they know they're losing. If they have the bankroll to do it, more power to them. If a losing hand takes that big of a toll on you, re-evaluate whether or not you should be playing at that table to begin with. People are not always going to play by "the book" and they're certainly not going to always play by your "book." Odds are there as a guideline, people are there to throw a wrench into things. Learn the people as well as the game.
- Figure out what type of player you are (game-wise). Do you like Hold 'Em or Stud? Omaha maybe? Hi/Lo split? NL or PL? Do you like cash games or do you do better in a tournament setting? Take some time out to see where you play most comfortably. I used to think I was a cash game player. I'd have amazing nights sometimes, and other times I'd bust in a matter of minutes. The variance (and the fact that I played out of my range) really got to me. I still get urges sometimes to play cash games, but I know that tournaments are my niche, and so I do those now. I'm starting to see my income increase instead of decline, and all it took was a shift to a different type of table. Figure yours out before you start loading money into the game.
- Have Fun. People often forget this one. I personally think it's the most important rule of poker. If you're not having fun doing it, then gtfo.
Welcome to FTR. Enjoy your stay. I know I have
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