I'm 20 years old, in college and play poker for fun with money I can afford to lose without too much hurt ($5-$10 sngs) and I think I'm about ready to quit.
I have been up overall for my online poker "career" which has spanned just under a year, but not by anything significant. Maybe $200 total after 100s of hours of playing. OF course I had some fun (and some of the most incredible anger I've ever felt) but honestly winning at that kind of rate is not worth the time. Although I stated that I play for fun, I honestly put a lot of effort into my game and deep inside I have high hopes/expectations of doing something productive with poker, and being profitable.
I know better than to say online is rigged, but the the past month or so resulted in me being down only $25 overall, but this is after being up over $100 and then going into the red.

The past beats that have knocked me out of tournies are as follows (and this is off the top of my head):
ME vs. someone
AA vs. KK (duh)
A10 vs. K10
KJ vs. QJ
my ace high flush on the turn vs. rivered full house
my trip jacks all in on the flop vs. his rivered gutshot straight
and the list goes on...

All ego aside, i consider myself at least a "solid" player. I have the ability to win these low buy in SnGs for sure, and I know so because have won many of them (once I went on a run with 17 out of 30 ITM). But it seems like the number of times I bust out with the best hand preflop far outnumbers the amount of times I win a tournament.

I guess all in all, this is just a cry baby post. I don't know what I'm asking for, but I just wish I could stop WANTING to play poker. But I can't shake the hope of becoming a consistently successful player. I want to be good at this game and have something big to show for it SOO BADLY, but so far all i have to show for hours and hours of time is a few measel bucks. And it is so frustrating because I've held SOOOO much more money than that in profit, but it drains away much quicker than It comes in.

I wish I could just stop playing this game and not feel like I'm a quitter. Not feel like I gave up on something that I could have been real good at. And I don't want to feel like I quit because I just suck (which I won't accept because I'm up overall). I want to quit playing because the rewards have not correlated directly to the number of times I hold the best hand when the money goes in.
I wish I could quit and not WANT to play again... but the fact is that I always want to play. I love playing, the thrill of bluffing, or reading your opponents perfectly, the feeling of sucking out, or making a great call.
But the fact is that I only end up winning small. And I hate that. I put my money in on the best hand 90% of the time, yet only win 50% of the time.
I just wish I could quite playing, and then wake up and not care about playing again... just forget about poker.

by the way... WAH WAH WAH... I'm a big baby I know. But if you have something constructive to say then I'd like to hear it anyways. Thanks if you read though this whole thing.