"I can hold my own against someone of equal skill or better."

That's paradoxical. What makes them better is that they beat you.

You meant to say:

"I assume I'll have less variance against a better player. I'll lose slowly, but still play respectably."

The actual truth:

"Against bad players, the variance is too high. Though I'm profiting in the long run, I'm having difficulty coping with the way poker rewards me for my good deeds.

Against weak/tight players who will fold against big bets without proper odds, my variance will be much lower but so will my win rate. I want that becuase what I've got now sucks."

-'rilla