I like chips. Sour cream and onion to be particular. And the flat variety, not any of that ruffled sh!t. I don’t get what’s up with those, ‘cause unless you helmet head retarded you can get dip to stick to a flat chip.

When I got people coming to the crib, I have to buy chips, and I can’t just get the chips what I like. I gotta take a moment. I got some BBQ eaters… I got some who like those douche flavored with the salt and vinegar… wtf is a sun chip? got some people who like those… and then the crazy flaming hot lime cheeto eating m-thaf-ckers. So I gotta think about all that… and then hit Costco with my “yeah I’ll have a cord of wood with that” shopping cart.

So what do this have to do with poker? For me, a lot.

I’m learning to play poker like I buy chips. Old me look at a hand and some ranges and go sh!t… If I played like that, I would have this range and that’s f-d for me with what I actually got, so I gotta fold. Or, “they VPIP is 8, so if my sh!t was 8, I’d have TT+, AT+ and maybe KQ.” You know what I discovered? There some retarded cheeto eating m-f’s out there for whom 8 is some random sh!t squeezed between browsing porn and watching the Giants kick Washington @ss… He don’t care how I’d play a hand. He barely paying much attention to the hand he got, or at least the one that involves his cards…

So again, what do this sh!t mean to me for poker….

1. Don’t get married to too narrow a range. Go wider rather than narrower, and it’s perfectly okay to add things back in that you originally excluded when later streets seem to fit the bill. Just cause he got a PFR of 2 don’t mean he ain’t sitting on 68 when he goes nuts through three streets on a 579 flop. The world is full of cheetos and sun chips, and people actually like that sh!t…

2. Pot control will win you monies. At the limits I play, people will play the dumbest sh!t. But then sometimes they’ll actually have the sh!t. So you gotta roll like it’s your slow third cousin. You know he slow, and you want to stay far enough ahead of him to keep him off the fire escape, but not so far that you like “Damn, you retarded….” Point is, if you sitting on 2nd or 3rd pair and can get to SD cheap through pot control, you gonna be surprised how often you win with people playing busted draws, bottom pair, total bluffs and “oh sh!t, I was reppin 4 Aces and why did you call me down…?” If you got position, don’t bloat the pot if you got a hand that’s got some SD value. Sounds simple, but I used to get blown off of pots ‘cause I bet and raised myself into an unnecessarily difficult decision. Oh… and give your slow cousin a sun chip…

3. If you half decent at your limit, and you are playing $10NL and less, most people won’t play like you would. This ain’t just about range. It’s about looking at they line and going “oh yeah, I would do that with 2 pair or better…” For many, drawing pot odds don’t exist… it’s called “wish-a-flush” and I’m not talking the toilet cleaning variety. Top pair, sh!t kicker is the nuts. Now I’m not saying stack off against any fool that’s willing to put chips in, range and equity be damned. But between pot control, a good sense of their range, and some leverage through understanding SPR and implieds, you’ll take down some tasty pots ‘cause people do dumb f-cking things. Manipulate all of the above to be favorable conditions for you… and that leads to the last #4.

4. Don’t waste my sour cream and onion on the fiery cheeto eating crazy b!tches…. they’re not gonna like them, and after they cleaned them out, you’re going to be stuck with plain tortilla chips and that blue green guacamole in a plastic tub. Point is, adjust to your reads. Blind stealing is good… but don’t try and keep stealing with crap from some fool who 3-bets you half the time, won’t fold ever pre-flop and thinks a c-bet is an invitation to your own private poker party. Aggression is good, unless your multi-way with a drawing hand against people that never fold and you’re gonna be facing a bloated 4-way flopped pot with mediocre holdings. I gotta work on dialing back my cbets to the right situation, being okay with limping behind with a tasty drawing hand to keep the pot manageable, and other similar sh!t.

This is what I got. No maths, just some really basic sh!t that, because I’m not so bright took me a while to get straight in my head. I will tell you, that these fundamental mind framers did make a 50% difference in my micro game win rate… I’ll leave the complex sh!t to dudes what got mad skills and maths like Spoon and Fnord and others. I ain’t got that…

…I got a story about sour cream and onion chips…

and I hope it’s helpful.