things that tilt you

[celtic123]

No for excuse bad breath except I think a lot of people don't know they have it. Gotta tell em dude.

[Jack Sawyer]

Andrew Zimmern tilts the shit out of me.

They hand him a piece of chicken from somewhere remote, he goes:"Well this tastes gamey, chickeny, almost slimey, just a little bit hoty, and quite like Alfredo's sauce, zesty". Why the fuck does everything end in -y?

[supa]

4:36am.

[bigred]

heat waves

[eugmac]

anti-heat waves
http://i.imgur.com/IICUb.png

[kiwiMark]

people taking back cards they'd totally put in the throw-in-the-card pile a slit second earlier cos they see somewhere they could've laid it down.

[DropTheBanana]

ABC stores.

Get with the fucking times NC!

[Sasquach991]

When something electric will not work, people always say it has a short.

[BennyLaRue]

When ppl say the word short and then my first reaction is to do a Martin Short impression.

[wufwugy]

[Hawk]

I really fucking hate it when people use the word "literally" when they mean "figuratively".

I read an article about Tarvaris Jackson (that's another tilt altogether) saying that "The quarterback is the literal bottleneck of the offense." NO!!!

We have a sign here at work for a Weight Watchers group. It says that eating right, losing weight etc and your life will literally start all over. NO!!!!

GRRRRRR!!!!!

[wufwugy]

I symbolically type a literal iteration of a figurative response to the allegory of Hawk's metaphor

[kiwiMark]

it's like a simile!

[eugmac]

Idk, the sentence would be really strange if you said "that quarterback is the figurative bottleneck of the offence". The use of "literally" in that sense can be argued to be a hyperbole (not to be confused with the Superbowl badum-tschhhh), albeit in rather poor style.
Non-literal “literally” isn’t wrong. That said… « Motivated Grammar

[wufwugy]

Well isn't being a bottleneck a literal thing

[Hawk]

I wouldn't use the word "figuratively" there either, but at least it would be correct. When you say something is a bottleneck it's pretty much implied that you mean it figuratively unless you are talking about the top of a bottle.

It wouldn't tilt me as much if it was just a general improper use of a word. It's that it's used in a way that is exactly the opposite of the meaning of the word.

[eugmac]

it's like this
he's the bottleneck of the team
he's *really* the bottleneck of the team
he's *absolutely* the botteneck of the team
he's *totally* the bottleneck of the team

see how if you were to take any of those adverbs literally it doesn't make all that much sense either? so "literally" is literally the most extreme form of such hyperbolising adverbs.

[Hawk]

I get what you are saying, but I disagree.

I feel like those examples are still just leaving out the implied "figuratively" (he's really the figurative bottleneck)

It's a spot where the writer obviously just wanted some emphasis there. I get that. Literal(ly) is not an emphasis word though. I wish they'd choose a word that isn't defined as the literal (see what I did there?) opposite of their intent.

[eugmac]

The fact that I'm normally impeccable with spelling and yet I can't for the life of me ever remember how to spell barrel and find myself looking it up.

[Carroters]

The fact that I'm normally impeccable with spelling and yet I can't for the life of me ever remember how to spell barrel and find myself looking it up.

This, apart from the usually being a bad ass at spelling thing.

[supa]

Not being able to play poker when I wanna play poker.

And hoo teh fuk spellz corextly onz teh interwebz?

[BooG690]

And hoo teh fuk spellz corextly onz teh interwebz?

Don't make me start correcting your grammar/spelling again.

[Carroters]

Leave him alone. He speaking Californian.

[Luco]

People who write 'verticle' when they mean 'vertical'.

[supa]

Leave him alone. He speaking Californian.

LEAVE SUPA ALONE!

[lolzzz_321]

bears eating peeps

[supa]

You mean the marshmellow kind? Coz I thing that would be kinda fun to watch.

[supa]

[BennyLaRue]

Blame the peeps, not the bears.

[a500lbgorilla]

Shut your dirty hole of a mouth. Those innocent people did nothing to invite the bears to eat them, they were just acting within their own gentle human nature. The bears have no excuse!

[BennyLaRue]

Shut your dirty hole of a mouth. Those innocent people did nothing to invite the bears to eat them, they were just acting within their own gentle human nature. The bears have no excuse!

If a bear eats you now, you can blame this post. It might be the Year 2081, but you'll remember this post, I know it.

It'll be either karma or that I trained and released bears in your general direction. You decide. But be sure the bears are just guided by the hand of God, or me in the case of myself.

[supa]

I Fart In Your General Direction! - YouTube

[kiwiMark]

How absurdly loud my flatmates talk when we're sitting at the table. We're all right beside each other guys

[BooG690]

WHAT DID YOU SAY!?!?!?!

[Luco]

Directors who think white gym socks + hair bunches = teenager

[flomo]

Directors who think blonde strippers + implants = milfs

[rpm]

loud, bad music. especially at parties

[WillburForce]

People who come for dinner and bring some shit like Blossom Hill.

[Luco]

Queue jumpers

[eugmac]

People who shove their way into public transit trains when obviously there's a huge mob of people waiting to get out first.

Here's a big one: the sound of gnashing teeth against cutlery, especially tilting when it's a spoon. Why are you biting your soup? I used to do this when I was a kid and thankfully was taught by my parents not to do it. I did it because eww lips against metal that other lips have touched eww germs. Therefore I have this theory that virgins have a higher likelyhood of exhibiting this behavior.

[Ash256]

Here's a big one: the sound of gnashing teeth against cutlery, especially tilting when it's a spoon. Why are you biting your soup? I used to do this when I was a kid and thankfully was taught by my parents not to do it. Therefore I have this theory that virgins have a higher likelyhood of exhibiting this behavior.

So did your mum have sex with you in exchange for improved table manners?

[eugmac]

No, I still wasn't enough of a gentleman for her. Yours welcomed me with open arms though. And by arms I mean legs.

[Galapogos]

And by legs he means butthole.

[Luco]

Appliances that fail within a week or two of their warranty expiring. You're not supposed to actually do that, it's just a thing that old stand up comedians use for laughs ffs

[BennyLaRue]

Appliances that fail within a week or two of their warranty expiring. You're not supposed to actually do that

Don't be a big Socialist baby. That's called Effective Capitalism.

[eugmac]

Don't be a big Socialist baby. That's called Effective Capitalism.

I dunno about that, it sounds more to me like those toasters are being coerced by government pressure to fail on demand due to the powerful lobbying power of the toaster manufacturers. A classic case of infringement of individual toaster liberty, imo.

[Luco]

Paying 60p to use a payphone

[bode]

only drug dealers and homeless people use pay phones

[Luco]

only drug dealers and homeless people use pay phones

From the smell of it, that was the impression I got too. However, I had forgotten to charge my phone and had no choice

[Sykedupp]

Having a 90% difference in my ROI between FTP and PS (liking FTP more), and then having FTP bite the bullet instead of PS.

[Roid_Rage]

people coming into my store that do not have proper hygiene techniques and manage to stink up a fairly large convenience store.

especially tilting during winter because i cant air it out by opening door

[BankItDrew]

having problems logging into PS

now i know how it feels to be from the US

[Luco]

Graffiti in the bathroom stalls at work. Grow up guys, seriously.

[OngBonga]

People who say bathroom stalls. That's even gayer than restroom, WC and even lavatory.

[Luco]

Korean spies

Also, when you sit at someone else's desk in the office and a colleague makes a joke about how they look different.

[Sasquach991]

"I went to a fight and a hockey game broke out"...especially at the rink

[Hawk]

Graffiti in the bathroom stalls at work. Grow up guys, seriously.

Instead of graffiti at work, we have piss all over the floor...large puddles of it. And this is not a public restroom, it's a secure building and only people on my floor use this restroom. It's the people I talk to every day that can't hit the urinal just inches away. This really bothers me.

[supa]

^White people problems imo. You guys should try using the porta johns on any southern cal construction site.

In Mexico the plumbing is awful so they're trained not to throw toiletpaper in the toilet. They throw it in a trash can next to it. Porta johns don't have trash cans, so when these guys come up here to work they pile it up in the corner on the floor. There's also the guys that won't touch their ass to the toilet, even with an ass gasket, so they stand on the seat. You can imagine how good their aim is.

On that note, my wife just brought me a breakfast burrito. Yum.

[OngBonga]

In some places they eat with their right hand and wipe their arse with the left. They don't use paper. It's a curious world out there.

[bikes]

youtube ads

[wufwugy]

pretty sure firefox addon eliminates utube ads. chrome does not

[Luco]

The sound of boiled sweets (hard candy) against teeth

[eugmac]

lol i crunch my hard candies all the time to the distaste of the fiancee.

[rpm]

paperwork

[rong]

Middle management.

[eugmac]

TPS reports

[Jack Sawyer]

taxes, yo

[kickass]

when you know you've got a film on DVD but you cant find it in your collection. or worse you can only find the case......I wanna watch point break god damn it.

[Luco]

when you know you've got a film on DVD but you cant find it in your collection. or worse you can only find the case......I wanna watch point break god damn it.

[rong]

People buying you DVDs as presents whilst the internet still exists.

[OngBonga]

People who complain about presents.

[flomo]

Werewolf game with no Dead Thread

[givememyleg]

People buying you DVDs as presents whilst the internet still exists.

yeah, i'd usually rather get nothing.

[Luco]

New ebay sellers who haven't set up their details properly

Low E fret buzz

[supa]

Luco, is your bridge adjustable?