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blake86
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05-17-2010, 07:18 PM
Post subject: Loud Eaters
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#1 (permalink)
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One Pair
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 22
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...drive me crazy. I think there are 2 kinds. First the most annoying Smackers. When they chew they open their mouth and you can hear that gross saliva smacking noise. These people also lick their fingers loudly once they are done consuming their food. Second are the heavy breathers. These people sound like it is a struggle to to get enough oxygen in their system. Either way, they must be stopped.
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BroadwayTables ID: 6pacshakur
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flomo
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Full House
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Location: mashing potatoes
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chances are blake is not asian.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigred
Protect dog
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Ash256
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 1,760
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3) Slurpers. The people who feel that breathing in whilst inserting the food to create a noisy mix of liquid, air and saliva is a necessary part of the public eating experience.
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JKDS
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Full House
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chandler, AZ
Posts: 1,024
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OM NOM NOM NOM NoM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OngBonga
But no, jkds is lolvillager and anyone who wants to string him up is sighbad.
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L_Clan_Sup3rMaN
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Full House
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 833
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Annoys the shittttttttt outta me.
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blake86
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One Pair
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by flomo
chances are blake is not asian.
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You are wise
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BroadwayTables ID: 6pacshakur
FT ID: Elvis Phreshly
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Warpe
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Moderator
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Canuckistan
Posts: 3,905
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4) Open mouth crunchers. Put the goddamn potato chip/crisp in your mouth, close your lips, THEN crunch please. Your mouth is not so fucking small that you need to hold the chip in your fingers and noisily snap off pieces with your teeth. Your lips not only keep food in your mouth, where food belongs, they also keep NOISE in, asshole, so USE THEM!
And YOU...YOU, YOU mouthbreathing throwback that sits one, two, even three rows behind me in the movie theatre and feels the need to stuff fistfuls of popcorn in your mouth and chew it with your mouth open...there's a special place in hell for you, trust me...right next to the constant candy wrapper crinklers, the bottom of the cup soda straw suckers and the irritating ice cube crunchers.
I approve of this thread, btw.
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dranger7070
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Wake up in the mornin feelin' like P. Diddy
Posts: 2,524
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I suck the bottom of the soda and eat the ice. 
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Micro2Macro
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Moderator
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: http://three-pair.com/
Posts: 4,464
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Nothing tilts me more than those bottom of the cup soda straw suckers.
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"Once we reach a certain level of mastery, we see there are higher levels and challenges. If we are disciplined and patient, we proceed. At each higher level, new pleasures and insights await us--ones not even suspected when we started out. We can take this as far as we want--in any human activity there is always a higher level to which we can aspire."
Check out my blog here!
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JKDS
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Full House
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chandler, AZ
Posts: 1,024
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5) people that go "ahhhhhh" after taking a sip of soda
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OngBonga
But no, jkds is lolvillager and anyone who wants to string him up is sighbad.
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dranger7070
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Wake up in the mornin feelin' like P. Diddy
Posts: 2,524
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God dammit, I do that too JKDS lol.
I don't the annoying shit with real food though.
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WillburForce
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Flush
Join Date: May 2006
Location: SW London
Posts: 516
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i can't eat a meal with out my GF complaining about the way I eat.
"Don't talk with your mouthful"
"Don't ask me a fucking question when I'm eating then"
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BooG690
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,439
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I'm pretty sure I hate Dranger now.
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That's how winners play; we convince the other guy he's making all the right moves.
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wufwugy
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 1,660
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pretty sure your mom likes dranger
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Warpe
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Moderator
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Canuckistan
Posts: 3,905
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6) smackers...*smack smack smack smack*
If I wanted to listen to that I'd eat with my dog.
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BennyLaRue
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Full House
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 646
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Yeah, like, hot chicks that suck on lollipops real loud and, like, lick them all over and stuff and slurp and stick their tongues out and get sticky red lips...that's so stupid and gross.
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WillburForce
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Flush
Join Date: May 2006
Location: SW London
Posts: 516
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Warpe
6) smackers...*smack smack smack smack*
If I wanted to listen to that I'd eat with my dog.
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Korea baby. a dog isn't just for Xmas. hopefully theres a bit left over for boxing day as well.
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givememyleg
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WHO YA GONNA CALL?!??
Administrator
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: ISHPERMING MISHIGEN
Posts: 5,042
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almost as annoying as those fuckers who care about how i eat my food
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BooG690
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,439
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7) Those assholes that eat soup or cereal and bite on their spoon EVERY FUCKING BITE.
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That's how winners play; we convince the other guy he's making all the right moves.
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a500lbgorilla
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JESUS TAKE THE KEYBOARD
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: This room is a good place to be
Posts: 8,379
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You're all freaks. Unless their eating while you're reading a book, you should just be minding your own meal. Who hears other people eating when you've got a delicious plate of much the same in front of you?
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Smithers, use the amnesia ray.
You mean the revolver, sir?
Precisely.
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BennyLaRue
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Full House
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 646
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BennyLaRue
Yeah, like, hot chicks that suck on lollipops real loud and, like, lick them all over and stuff and slurp and stick their tongues out and get sticky red lips...that's so stupid and gross.
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BTW, nobody should post pics like this because that would disgust me.
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a500lbgorilla
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JESUS TAKE THE KEYBOARD
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: This room is a good place to be
Posts: 8,379
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Stop talking to yourself.
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Smithers, use the amnesia ray.
You mean the revolver, sir?
Precisely.
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BennyLaRue
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Full House
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 646
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Quote:
Originally Posted by a500lbgorilla
Stop talking to yourself.
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I'm not. I own a cactus, also called Benny LaRue.
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a500lbgorilla
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JESUS TAKE THE KEYBOARD
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: This room is a good place to be
Posts: 8,379
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Or maybe a cactus.
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Smithers, use the amnesia ray.
You mean the revolver, sir?
Precisely.
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dranger7070
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Wake up in the mornin feelin' like P. Diddy
Posts: 2,524
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Lol I  rilla
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daven
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: soaking up ethanol, moving on up
Posts: 5,807
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WillburForce
i can't eat a meal with out my GF complaining about the way I eat.
"Don't talk with your mouthful"
"Don't ask me a fucking question when I'm eating then"
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over/under on his gf having an affair?
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flomo
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: mashing potatoes
Posts: 878
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i eat food so awesome that i jerk off on the empty plate.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigred
Protect dog
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flomo
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: mashing potatoes
Posts: 878
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and your mom cooked it
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigred
Protect dog
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UG
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Moderator
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 1,855
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this is another reason why I eat alone, while at work, when I actually eat there. there's this one woman in the group I used to eat with that would smack-smack-smack her food while she was chewing, talk with her mouth full, etc. she's one of the faaaat teachers in our building. we have a few hotties teaching, but this bitch is on the other end of the spectrum.
I usually drive home (I live 1.4 miles from school) and watch Sportscenter/First Take/ESPNews while eating, though, so this isn't a big deal for me.
the other reason I choose to not eat with people at work is I can't stand the bullshit/politics that go on during eating, it's so not worth it. gossip is cool and all but I'm not here to do that, I'm here to be a badass teacher and fuck you if you think I'm going to sit around with a pansy guy and some fatass women and force myself to converse about bullshit that might be true but probably isn't (the coaches and other people that are cool don't have the same lunch schedule as me).
if I'm eating at school I'd rather spend the time by myself reading bullshit on the internet rather than to listen to their asses. at least I have a choice of what bullshit I read.
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wufwugy
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 1,660
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UG
(the coaches and other people that are cool don't have the same lunch schedule as me).
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ug doesn't get to hang out with the coooooooooooooolllll kids
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boost
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Chicago
Posts: 706
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I have a bad habit of talking while I eat. But when I try to not do this, I end up eating really slow. I think Im just a slow chewer or something.
Also one of my best friends does the smacking thing, and I dont let it really get to me cuz thats petty and whatnot, but somewhere deep down inside me I know there is this big wad of anger building up everytime I shrug it off.
8) people who are rude to wait staff when you eat out with them. This shit tilts me so hard and completely ruins my meal. Its like hanging out with hitler, sure you didnt kill all those poor jews, but people sure as hell think youre an evil fuck by extension.
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eugmac
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Full House
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 739
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BuFu690
7) Those assholes that eat soup or cereal and bite on their spoon EVERY FUCKING BITE.
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this
that grating metal sound is so tilting.
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dranger7070
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Wake up in the mornin feelin' like P. Diddy
Posts: 2,524
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Agree with boost about the whole friends/whoever you're eating with being mean to the waiting staff. I have this friend that is ALWAYS an asshole when we go out to eat, and it makes me want to choke slam the douchebag every time.
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oskar
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: in ur accounts... confiscating ur funz
Posts: 2,452
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9) People who moan while eating like it's the best thing they've ever tasted.
10) People who gulp loudly while drinking.
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Hawk
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Flush
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 367
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oskar
9) People who moan while eating like it's the best thing they've ever tasted.
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What About Bob? ftw
I sometimes chew my food with my mouth open. I have no idea how often, but not always. I don't try to, and if I think about it I have no problem keeping it closed. The problem is that I tend to think about the specifics of how I chew as much as I think about the specifics of how I breathe. It just happens.
I also don't always say "excuse me" after I burp.
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wufwugy
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 1,660
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While being mean to wait staff is retarded, most servers are themselves retarded and don't know wtf they're doing
Curiously, I was very rarely treated poorly by guests because I knew wtf I was doing, and they could tell that any problems were on somebody else's end. I honestly felt more sorry for guests having to wait long or getting shit food or service due to the establishment fucking up than for the servers being mistreated. Somehow, the only servers I worked with who complained about guests were the bad ones
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boost
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Chicago
Posts: 706
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wufwugy
While being mean to wait staff is retarded, most servers are themselves retarded and don't know wtf they're doing
Curiously, I was very rarely treated poorly by guests because I knew wtf I was doing, and they could tell that any problems were on somebody else's end. I honestly felt more sorry for guests having to wait long or getting shit food or service due to the establishment fucking up than for the servers being mistreated. Somehow, the only servers I worked with who complained about guests were the bad ones
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right, but treating them badly pretty much never solves anything. If a server is particularly bad, Ill just leave a bad tip. But being an asshole accomplishes absolutely nothing.
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kiwiMark
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Nu Zuland bru
Posts: 939
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11) People who try their utmost to force-feed you some of what they've got on their fork from the other end of the table, and then nick some of your food. I ordered what I ordered for a reason, damnit.
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boost
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Chicago
Posts: 706
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kiwiMark
11) People who try their utmost to force-feed you some of what they've got on their fork from the other end of the table, and then nick some of your food. I ordered what I ordered for a reason, damnit.
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ha.. I am a big fan of communal ordering.. I really like to try lots of different stuff. And even if we dont set out to split everything, I do like to try what other people are having.
That being said, Im never forceful with it, and would only do it with someone I know wont mind/likes to try other peoples stuff too.
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kiwiMark
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Nu Zuland bru
Posts: 939
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It's mostly the presumption that annoys me, I think. Like I'm perfectly happy with "How's your x?" "Yeah it's really good, wanna try?" "Cool thanks, have some of y". I just don't like an uninvited fork coming out of nowhere either waving food in front of my face or pinching my meal.
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bjsaust
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Straight Flush
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Ballarat, Australia
Posts: 5,842
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I rarely have any issues at mealtime, but when you're working and someone is doing any of the above at their desk it can really irritate me.
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Just playing to improve.
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BooG690
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,439
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I'm with Boost. But I guess if it's something that should be agreed on beforehand. I'm not surprised that Kiwi is a selfish POS though.
Quote:
Originally Posted by boost
right, but treating them badly pretty much never solves anything. If a server is particularly bad, Ill just leave a no tip. But being an asshole accomplishes absolutely nothing.
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FYP
Once, my friends and I underpaid a waitress by like $8 because she sucked so bad. Yeah, I know. I'm a cunt.
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That's how winners play; we convince the other guy he's making all the right moves.
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kiwiMark
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Nu Zuland bru
Posts: 939
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I'm not surprised that you american lardasses can't help yourselves once you see food even if it's on someone else's plate.
Man I hate that bufu guy why doens't he get iopq-banned already.
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wufwugy
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 1,660
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kiwiMark
Man I hate that bufu guy why doens't he get iopq-banned already.
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a500lbgorilla
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JESUS TAKE THE KEYBOARD
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: This room is a good place to be
Posts: 8,379
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kiwiMark
I'm not surprised that you american lardasses can't help yourselves once you see food even if it's on someone else's plate.
Man I hate that bufu guy why doens't he get iopq-banned already.
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iopq banning is like scorching Earth. We only get to do it once.
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Smithers, use the amnesia ray.
You mean the revolver, sir?
Precisely.
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JKDS
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Full House
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chandler, AZ
Posts: 1,024
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kiwiMark
I'm not surprised that you american lardasses can't help yourselves once you see food even if it's on someone else's plate.
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Its actually not an american thing, but an asian thing. Most americans are like you, and will refuse anyone coming near them...except for those who have become accustomed to an asian style of eating where dishes are just shared around, ex: lazy susan usage in many chinese restaurants.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OngBonga
But no, jkds is lolvillager and anyone who wants to string him up is sighbad.
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wufwugy
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 1,660
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solution: dont hang out with people who suck
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kiwiMark
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Nu Zuland bru
Posts: 939
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I'm gonna level with you all I just wanted to attack bufu not all of you fatasses.
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donkbee
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WELP
Join Date: May 2005
Location: so close but so far
Posts: 3,604
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I HATE HATE HATE people that chew gum loudly. And I hate it when ppl are eating noodles or soup (or both) and they feel the need to slurp loudly (Asians do this ALL THE TIME GAH). And then pretty much everything else written in this thread... yeah I fucking hate loud eaters with a passion.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fnord
Why poker fucks with our heads: it's the master that beats you for bringing in the paper, then gives you a milkbone for peeing on the carpet.
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dranger7070
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Wake up in the mornin feelin' like P. Diddy
Posts: 2,524
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If I get a bad server, I just leave pennies as a tip. That's so much more demoralizing for the server imo. If you don't leave a tip they might be able to tell themselves that you forgot and move on. If you leave pennies they KNOW that shit was premeditated.
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