Do you stand or sit when you wipe?

[ProZachNation]

op has more spelling errors than I can count

epic thread tho

[spoonitnow]

Why in the living fuck would you stand up before you wipe the shit off of your ass?

[ProZachNation]

What if you got like poo hanging down and you stand and it gets all mushed...

fucking standers disgust me.

[will641]

Why in the living fuck would you stand up before you wipe the shit off of your ass?

yeah then the cheeks come together, and you risk spreading of the deuce.

[shazbox]

Oh man, I never knew standing to wipe existed either. But seriously, I am contemplating trying it. The toilet in my apartment has a high water level and seriously, my hand keeps hitting the water when I wipe while sitting. Standing will totally eliminate this. Fucking genius

[Warpe]

Oh man, I never knew standing to wipe existed either. But seriously, I am contemplating trying it. The toilet in my apartment has a high water level and seriously, my hand keeps hitting the water when I wipe while sitting. Standing will totally eliminate this. Fucking genius

If that's all that's hitting the water then you've got another small problem.

[will641]

Oh man, I never knew standing to wipe existed either. But seriously, I am contemplating trying it. The toilet in my apartment has a high water level and seriously, my hand keeps hitting the water when I wipe while sitting. Standing will totally eliminate this. Fucking genius

why dont you try leaning forward a little?

[shazbox]

Oh man, I never knew standing to wipe existed either. But seriously, I am contemplating trying it. The toilet in my apartment has a high water level and seriously, my hand keeps hitting the water when I wipe while sitting. Standing will totally eliminate this. Fucking genius

why dont you try leaning forward a little?

I do. It has never been a problem to recently. Maybe my technique changed a little and I didn't notice.

[mrhappy333]

Oh man, I never knew standing to wipe existed either. But seriously, I am contemplating trying it. The toilet in my apartment has a high water level and seriously, my hand keeps hitting the water when I wipe while sitting. Standing will totally eliminate this. Fucking genius

If that's all that's hitting the water then you've got another small problem.

Thats some funny shit right there.^^^

[Deuce Blue]

I told a friend in my office about this whole subject. He thought I was joking. I said no man, there are standers!! We went to break and I told another guy about the thread and he got a weird look on his face, I said " Your a stander aren't you?? " And holy shit he was!! This was my friends my good friend. He had no idea his friend of like 15 years was a stander. CRAZY SHIT. Now everyone I look at I can't help but wonder, stander ( fucked up ) or sitter ( normal human ).

Stander freaks should all be put on an island together like lepers.

[Hawk]

Sit/fold/reach behind.

I also had no idea there was any other way to do it.

Is there also some large unknown group of people that found some other way to sleep? Or eat? (cue clips of Martha Stewart sitting on a turkey)

The other problem I see with standing, that hasn't been mentioned, is what if you have a small piece of crap still hanging there, one that you could have wiped away while still on the toilet, that falls off as you stand? Best case there would be that it falls on the seat and you have to clean it up, but it could just as easily fall into your pants! Or do you guys get completely naked to shit too?

I just can't wrap my head around this standing idea.

[Warpe]

Since it's learned behaviour, I'm willing to bet that it runs in families.

[spoonitnow]

Oh man, I never knew standing to wipe existed either. But seriously, I am contemplating trying it. The toilet in my apartment has a high water level and seriously, my hand keeps hitting the water when I wipe while sitting. Standing will totally eliminate this. Fucking genius

why dont you try leaning forward a little?

I do. It has never been a problem to recently. Maybe my technique changed a little and I didn't notice.

Could try putting a brick in your tank

[Deuce Blue]

Yes, Hawksfan hit the nail on the head. You are bound to get a hanger or somethin akin to that. If you are standing that stuff could end up anywhere. For Gods sake with the lean to the side and wrap around there is no chance of anything ending up anywhere but the bowl. Standers could lose a piece and end up on their leg, in the shorts, on the back of the shoe. Opposable thumbs and sitting when we wipe are the only things that seperate us from the apes.

Jesus standers, EVOLVE already.

I gotta say though. This clears up alot of those questions I had walking into a public restroom and seeing a mess all over the shitter. Obviously a Stander's work.

I can't even imagine a bout of the shits and being a stander. Lord, no wonder you all want to take showers. Your all covered in shit from the waist down.

[Hawk]

Opposable thumbs and sitting when we wipe are the only things that seperate us from the apes.

I lol'd.

I gotta say though. This clears up alot of those questions I had walking into a public restroom and seeing a mess all over the shitter. Obviously a Stander's work.

I hadn't even considered that! That's got to be it.

[BennyLaRue]

Standers?!?!

*my head asplode"

It just makes no sense. Gravity, boys...why would you try and defy it? Also, you front wipers, how is your junk not in the way? And why would you want to finish your stroke on your taint? I can't imagine oral on a woman if I knew she finished on her taint. There better not be any women standers.

I just threw up a little in my mouth.

[Deuce Blue]

We have all seen dogs sliding across the carpet when they get a hanger ( or worms ) . I bet Standers do that too when no one is around.

[donkbee]

Front wiping is what gives women infections ...

Yes, Hawksfan hit the nail on the head. You are bound to get a hanger or somethin akin to that. If you are standing that stuff could end up anywhere. For Gods sake with the lean to the side and wrap around there is no chance of anything ending up anywhere but the bowl. Standers could lose a piece and end up on their leg, in the shorts, on the back of the shoe. Opposable thumbs and sitting when we wipe are the only things that seperate us from the apes.

Jesus standers, EVOLVE already.

I gotta say though. This clears up alot of those questions I had walking into a public restroom and seeing a mess all over the shitter. Obviously a Stander's work.

I can't even imagine a bout of the shits and being a stander. Lord, no wonder you all want to take showers. Your all covered in shit from the waist down.

This is the best post in this thread.

[kmind]

girls don't poop, get out of the thread please

[bode]

its not like we (i speak for the standers) stand straight up. Its more like a slight stand/lean thing just to elevate above the bowl. This eliminates the theory about hangers.

[will641]

i now understand why this is flomo's favorite thread. funny shit, no pun intended.

[BennyLaRue]

girls don't poop

Thank Jesus. I feel better now.

[givememyleg]

HOW CAN YOU PEOPLE STAND UP WHEN YOU WIPE AND WHY

[donkbee]

girls don't poop, get out of the thread please

Front wiping is what would give women infections if they pooped.

FMP

[bode]

HOW CAN YOU PEOPLE STAND UP WHEN YOU WIPE AND WHY

i bet youre a front wiper, arent you carl?

[wesrman]

You mean your supposed to wipe after??????????

[kmind]

girls don't poop, get out of the thread please

Front wiping is what would give women infections if they pooped.

FMP

thank the lord. i take back anything mean about you now.

[mrhappy333]

I dont stand, my wife said if she were to poop she would wipe sitting down also, but my 6 year old Son after he is done wipes standing up. Strange... I keep telling him to sit but every once in a while I catch him standing up.

[Reidak]

i wash my ass vigorously with soap. i use the side of my hand and really get in there and then rinse with detachable shower head. i shampooed my ass hair the other day since the soap had gunked it up. great idea

[flomo]

i wash my ass vigorously with soap. i use the side of my hand and really get in there and then rinse with detachable shower head. i shampooed my ass hair the other day since the soap had gunked it up. great idea

how about being the king of shaving your ass hair

[Reidak]

its a virgin patch.. it would bleed for sure, very sensitive. Mix open nicks with feces ans im sure its a -ev choice

[Reidak]

its a virgin patch.. it would bleed for sure, very sensitive. Mix open nicks with feces ans im sure its a -ev choice

[Deuce Blue]

I'm sorry for the bump but this one is still the best one ever. And hey, we do have new members that may want to voice an opinion.

Has anyone tried another way and switched over? Meaning the sub-human standers. Because obviously no one would switch from sitting to standing without some kind of head trauma to explain it.

[will641]

up until about 10th grade i was a sitter.

[flomo]

i love this thread
great bump

[zook]

i love this thread
great bump

qft. I just re-read the whole thing. And this thread has not changed my technique one bit.

[frosst]

holy shit! i did not know there were these standing creatures. me personally, Sit/fold/reach behind.

[badgers]

lol at standing you freaks

[BennyLaRue]

My hypothesis is that standers, on average, are the weightier peeps among us. Given that, I guess this sort of makes sense.

Still sick though.

[givememyleg]

HOW CAN YOU PEOPLE STAND UP WHEN YOU WIPE AND WHY

QFT

[kmind]

WTF SITTERS?! ONLY 36% OF FTR IS STRAIGHT?

[a500lbgorilla]

HOW CAN YOU PEOPLE STAND UP WHEN YOU WIPE AND WHY

QFT

I stand so that I'm not sitting when I wipe my ass.

[Warpe]

I shit standing on the seat to see how big a splash I can make, so sitting to wipe makes no sense. Plus the seat is usually wet.

[bode]

WTF SITTERS?! ONLY 36% OF FTR IS STRAIGHT?

QFStraightness

[a500lbgorilla]

I shit standing on the seat to see how big a splash I can make, so sitting to wipe makes no sense. Plus the seat is usually wet.

Thunderous high5!

[yourfather]

What if its an upper decker?

[Rage2100]

Dont your cheeks close up when you stand?

This line gets me every time. This thread is top class.

[pocketfours]

OMG this thread delivers.

Sit/F/RB

[givememyleg]

seriously it really really confuses the hell out of me how anyone decided to stand up to wipe themselves ??????

[will641]

the bottom line is this:

-if you have a clean shit, that is to say it all comes out very fluently and without trouble, you will have a clean wipe, and standing wont spread the shit everywhere.

-when you have a not so clean shit, a diahrea shit if you will, there will be a lot of wiping. so when you stand, it closes the cheeks, and the shit will spread all across your ass crack. this will cause you to start wiping a much broader surface area, and consequently increasing the possibility of error, which we dont want.

conclusion: sitting and leaning >>> standing.

[Galapogos]

Thanks professor.

[will641]

np

[cobere]

PLUS! my akward situation, while typing this I was tlaking to my sister on aim because she is getting pop ups. I wanted the word for that thing that sprays water on your ass on the tiolet so I asked her. She didnt know I then told her to stop looking at porn to stop the pop ups..... akward....

For ProZach, since nobody ever addressed this ... its called a bidet.

(stander, wadded)

[ATOTHEC101]

sit, scrunch, reach around, slightly lean forward, problem solved.

[PapalRage]

until i just saw this thread, i had no idea that standing while wiping was weird. gonna try out sitting next time i shit.

[Alexos]

Standing gives you more leverage and more reach imo.. sitting makes it tougher but i guess ppl refine their technique with experience, ...

[will641]

this thread is on repeat mode.

[Warpe]

wtf do you need 'leverage' for? are you scraping with a putty knife or something?

[Hawk]

While reading this thread again I realized I needed to go take a shit. I went in there with the intention of trying that "standing" thing you guys mention.

I couldn't make myself do it. It seemed as wrong as holding my eyelids open and touching my eyeballs. Yeah, it's possible, and may not do you harm, but it's just WRONG!!

It just blows me away that over a third of us stand.

[2_Thumbs_Up]

I just lost all faith in humanity. How the fuck can people stand and wipe?

[Alexos]

wtf do you need 'leverage' for? are you scraping with a putty knife or something?

lolll!!!

we need to start a new thread about "how much toilet paper do u use?" ... yeah i use a lot, just to make sure its clean, so it's a longer process for me i guess..

[givememyleg]

i will never ever ever EVER understand what goes through someone's head as they stand up to wipe.

[Pythonic]

I shit standing on the seat to see how big a splash I can make, so sitting to wipe makes no sense. Plus the seat is usually wet.

Thunderous high5!

BINGO!!!

You took the words right out of my mouth....

[Pythonic]

While reading this thread again I realized I needed to go take a shit. I went in there with the intention of trying that "standing" thing you guys mention.

I couldn't make myself do it. It seemed as wrong as holding my eyelids open and touching my eyeballs. Yeah, it's possible, and may not do you harm, but it's just WRONG!!

It just blows me away that over a third of us stand.

I think for most of us standers the 1st or 2nd wipe is done sitting down to avoid making a mess on our pants/jeans and the rest IS done standing up. So all in all it's a little of both.

[AFchung]

sit 60% stand 40%

need to mix it up. dont want others to get a read on me

[BennyLaRue]

sit 60% stand 40%

need to mix it up. dont want others to get a read on me

Metagame. Right.

[TheScientist23]

How exactly would you even get access to wipe if you were sitting? WTF?

[badgers]

lean forward duhhhhh

[kmind]

i stood up 3 times today.

[givememyleg]

i stood up 3 times today.

youre dead to me

[phantom_lord]

stander imo, and never thought anything of it til i read this thread.

[ZwiFT]

I got a theory;

Fat people are standing.

The reason is that their bum is covering the seat

[Pythonic]

I got a theory;

Fat people are standing.

The reason is that their bum is covering the seat

I have another theory.

Small toliet seat = stand/squat
Oversized toliet seat = sit

[Alexos]

I think we're getting somewhere guys...

[ATOTHEC101]

Do you wipe with the same hand that you write with? and do you use the traditional 5 finger (counting thumb as a finger) pinch grip on the paper or is there some new fangled arse wipery method im missing?