*** The Ashes Thread ***

[WillburForce]

Typical fking England. All the hype, then we just choke.

I think we'll win the series though.....God I hope we do.

C'mon England!

[OngBonga]

I think they should play these away games at night under floodlights for the benefit of us English. I was listening on the radio while I played poker up until tea in Australia, I don't actually know what time it was here when I went to bed. I was optimistic, until I woke up and I had a look how we got on after tea. Oops. Still, they can't bat for shit at the moment, I think we'll bowl them for out a similar total, so it'll all hinge on our second innings total.

I think we can win the series, but it's gonna be tough.

inb4 Yanks start trolling our beautiful game.

[philly and the phanatics]

is this the sport where you try and bounce some ball into some sticks and hit a smaller stick off of the other sticks while someone else tries to protect the sticks with his stick?

[Keith]

is this a good time to remind the yanks about the ryder cup?

[OngBonga]

is this the sport where you try and bounce some ball into some sticks and hit a smaller stick off of the other sticks while someone else tries to protect the sticks with his stick?

I don't know the rules, I just drink beer and cheer when everyone else does.

[OngBonga]

is this a good time to remind the yanks about the ryder cup?

It's funny, I don't give a crap about cricket except when it's Ashes, and I don't give a crap about golf unless it's Ryder Cup. It's got nothing to do with sport, and everything to do with beating the fucking Yanks or Aussies.

[WillburForce]

England "just" need a couple hundred...EZ game.

[OngBonga]

England "just" need a couple hundred...EZ game.

England second innings 309 for 1.

Boom.

[silu73]

I'm going to the Boxing Day for the first time in my life. Can't wait for a little break and great cricket. Not quite sure who to support but I always love it when the Aussie cricketers get beaten. The only worry is that I don't get a chance to sledge Mitchell Johnson because he will be dropped soon.

[WillburForce]

Boxing day!!! Very jealous.

And surely you hate the Aussies more than us Poms?

England have at least secured a draw - you never know, quick couple of hundred and knock the Aussies over FTW!?!?!?!?!

[OngBonga]

We haven't got the draw yet, there's always the potential for a good old fashioned English collapse. We need to stay in bat until lunch. I've just had a four hour power-nap so I can stay up and listen to the match on the radio. Might as well play some poker at the same time.

I'm pretty sure most Kiwis are supporting England, just like we support whoever plays France, even if it's USA. I can't afford to travel half the planet just to see some guys twat a ball with a stick, but I might well go the to the next Ashes test at Edgbaston, just a few miles from my family home. Only 2 and a half years to wait. Have a great time Silu, here's hoping you see some English centuries.

[silu73]

Yeah I will be supporting England but I will stop short of singing with the Barmy Army.

Unless there is a huge collapse today it will be a draw. How is that Americans? A 5-day sports event and it can be finishing in a draw!

I never managed to explain to non-cricket lovers that Test Matches are still the pinnacle of cricket. 20/20 is fun but nothing compares to an enthralling Test. I'd rather give up the One-Dayers.

[silu73]

Seeing Johnson drop a sitter of Strauss on 60-odd yesterday was a highlight. I hate Mitchell with a passion. I also just saw that Mr Golden Boy Clarke just dropped a sitter in the slips.

Is there anything more gratifying than the Aussies getting a dose of their own medicine?

P.S. I got out for a golden duck on Saturday. Pity it was a hattrick ball as well. We got spanked.

[OngBonga]

Yeah 20/20 is entertaining, but test cricket is where it's at, and only when something is at stake. I'm listening on radio, I cheered when Trott was dropped. *WOOO another 4 runs * I think we should give them 50 overs with a lead of 300-odd, they won't get the runs but we might get the wickets if they crumble under the pressure. I'm staying up tonight until a draw is inevitable.

It's been a long time since I played cricket, at school I never went out for a duck and never got a half century either. I once won a school game with a six on the last ball, needing three runs, and got carried off by the team. Highlight of my school life!

419-1, I'm enjoying this, it's helping my poker.

[OngBonga]

517-1 declared, what a day so far! England have never made 500 runs for the loss of just one wicket, it's an incredible turn-around as we're putting the Aussies in bat with a draw secure and the pressure on them to not collapse. Can this day get any better?

[mbiz]

im australian but havn't gone for australia since i started following cricket (pontings captaincy) because the team is basically a bunch of complete jerks. England should have this ashes by the looks of the current team, which is awesome.!

All we need to do is drop ponting and johnson and maybe our team will be likable

[WillburForce]

Damn - an Aussie joins in and we cant' get any banter going because he doesn't even like the Aussies himself

[Muzzard]

Was good to see England pile on a heft score for 1 wicket. When australia piled on that lead in the first, thought we were down and out, but v well batted by our top 3.

Shame we somehow couldnt muster a win out of that. I woulda just kept on batting till the end of day 5, put like 700 on. Declaring with 30overs (or whatever it was) to play and 300+runs needed seemed a bit pointless and it woudlve fucked the aussie cunts right off if we just batted it out.

We were neer gunna get 10 wickets on that track in the overs that were left. It was too easy vs 'pace' as the wicket was too slow. Spinners had little to no impact either. With all the rough and the cracks I thought it woulda been more tricky, but didnt seem to affect either team in their 2nd innings.

Johnson is a pile of shite, Doherty just looks like a standard left arm ( can he bat or something?) why did they drop the other dude? Hauritz? Watson, Siddle and Hilfenhaus are just average imo. God knows how siddle got 6 wickets in the first. Bring it on.

[bjsaust]

You guys only need to draw the series right?

[bjsaust]

517-1 declared, what a day so far! England have never made 500 runs for the loss of just one wicket, it's an incredible turn-around as we're putting the Aussies in bat with a draw secure and the pressure on them to not collapse. Can this day get any better?

You could put yourself into a winning position instead of a safe drawing one?

[Muzzard]

You could put yourself into a winning position instead of a safe drawing one?

Pretty difficult considering the conditions. There just weren't enough overs left to do this imo or we didnt rack up enough runs to declare with enough overs left. Considering after first innings we were fucked and the chance that aussies thought 'yeah! ship it!' after there 250 lead, i think we did pretty well to draw. The aussies should be pretty deflated after fucking up from their winning position.

[OngBonga]

Yeah we only need to draw the series to retain the Ashes, but we want to win outright. Last time in Australia they whipped us 5-0, we're still a bit sore.

I don't think there was any way we could get into a serious winning position after the first innings, we batted badly and they batted well. It was simply a case of staying in bat to secure the draw, and once we had done that, have a go at them and see if we can get the ball doing anything. It was always going to be unlikely, but it was right to put them in bat and at least put some pressure on them. We got an early wicket, it might have been different if we got Ponting too. Having said that, I think once we got past lunch, we should've just started to slog the ball, let the wickets fall, and clock up a much higher run rate, giving us more overs to attack. 517-all out with 40 overs left is better than 517-1 with 25 overs left.

Still, I'm more than happy with the draw, the first test can be crucial, we don't want to be playing catch-up from the off.

[Keith]

wheres BJAust when the aussies get crushed?.

[WillburForce]

wheres BJAust when the aussies get crushed?.

weeping gently into his VB beer whilst watching neighbours.

[OngBonga]

weeping gently into his VB beer whilst watching neighbours.

Don't be ridiculous, Australians didn't watch that even in the 80's. He'll be watching some beach volleyball.

[WillburForce]

easy easy easy

[BennyLaRue]

Don't be ridiculous, Australians didn't watch that even in the 80's. He'll be watching some beach volleyball.

What's that Aussie soap that took place in the Youth Hostel?!?! That was some good bad-TV.

[OngBonga]

What's that Aussie soap that took place in the Youth Hostel?!?! That was some good bad-TV.

Home & Away? Pippa was always fostering someone, usually a very pretty girl who looked great in the Summer Bay High school uniform, for example Shannon.



Sorry about the cheesy caption, it was the only picture I could find on this whole fucking interweb of her in her uniform with her legs in shot.

Along with Kylie Minogue, Shannon was my favourite wank when I hit puberty.



Them Aussie soaps aren't so bad so long as you have the volume on mute.

[mbiz]

Thanks england. I really wanted us to get womped so that ponting can fuck off and the team can grow into something worth liking. Australia crickets arrogance has finally come back to bite us.

I gotta say though - these 'convicts' insults are a bit on the nose tho (saw it in some UK paper)