:pQuote:
Originally Posted by Poopadoop
I think I got it out of my system.
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:pQuote:
Originally Posted by Poopadoop
I think I got it out of my system.
Cookies are a type of biscuit. Biscuits are not a type of cookie. How long have you been here?
Yep. He won't come back unless mojo gives the nod, which I don't anticipate happening. I don't doubt he'll create a new profile now and then to troll us, and to be honest I hope he does. I'll give him an hour or two.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jack Sawyer
Can I suggest we all take turns being assholes just so no-one suffers from abuse-withdrawal?
Jack, your video link on your signature doesn't work either, you broken-link-posting nincompoop. Are you crazy?? ARRRGHGHGH!!
Do they really not have digestives in America? No wonder they don't appreciate tea like we do.
If you're going to do it, do it properly, dickhead.Quote:
Originally Posted by Poopadoop
I have definitely seen things normal persons (i.e., Canadians plus most United Americans) would call cookies being called biscuits here.Quote:
Originally Posted by OngBonga
"Have a biscuit." they say. "What biscuit?" I say. Then they point to a plate of cookies. Fucking hell, learn the language you cunts.
Yup. One of my American friends expressed great delight at being offered a 'healthy' digestive cookie (or 'biscuit' as you would say), as if it were some kind of exotic oddity.Quote:
Originally Posted by OngBonga
To be fair, there's two different types of cookie...
Big, hot cookies, which are the best. They're not biscuits.
Then there's the small hard ones you get in packets, like Maryland. They are biscuits.
If you can dunk it in your tea, it's a biscuit. If you can't, it's something else.
Or we could all just be assholes at once, douchebag.Quote:
Originally Posted by OngBonga
They're just cheap and tasty here, not even the best biscuits. They're just default.Quote:
Originally Posted by Poopadoop
How does a nation like America not have a huge market for dunking biscuits?
Attachment 1076Quote:
Originally Posted by OngBonga
Are you some kind of foreigner?
If it's a cookie it's full of sugar, mostly round (or irregular if homemade) in shape, and may be either hard or soft. If it's a biscuit, much less sugar, usually rectangular, and definitely hard.
They've chosen to maximize their waistlines by dunking donuts instead. Please don't tell me theyre also a form of biscuit.Quote:
Originally Posted by OngBonga
Put chocolate on them and I think they're a top of the line cookie. I'm not sure about how they rank among biscuits.Quote:
Originally Posted by OngBonga
The hardness is a dead giveaway. Biscuits are not soft, hence they are dunkable... they don't fall apart, unless you're eating fucking Rich Tea, which is so called because it enriches your tea with fucking biscuit mush. Cookies that come in packs, they're not really cookies, they're cookie themed biscuits.
Doughnuts are most certainly not biscuits. I thought they dunk their doughnuts in colourful liquid sugar?Quote:
Originally Posted by Poopadoop
Doughnut vs donut... that's probably the only one America got right. Fuck the u g h.
When I hear the word digestive, I do not think of edible food.Quote:
Originally Posted by OngBonga
I struggle to think of a use of the word digestive I've ever heard in America by an American.
Cookies are sweet. Biscuits savory.
Either can be hard or soft. Biscuits are sometimes more bland than savory, but never sweet.
A scone is somewhere in-between, but since there's like 2 sticks of butter in every scone, we'll eat them sweet or savory.
No, we drizzle or outright pour liquid sugar (often colored) on the donuts, call it a glaze, then dunk them in coffee.Quote:
Originally Posted by OngBonga
(I don't dunk donuts, though. Some do and some don't.)
I think there's also some regional dialect involved here, because everyone in the SE just calls everything remotely cookie-like a biscuit, and everything else (like a brownie, for example) a 'cake'.Quote:
Originally Posted by OngBonga
It's not a cake! A cake is big and round and you get one on your birthday, you fucking illiterates - is what I would say if I weren't so polite - but it's what I'm thinking inside.
Haha that was pretty much my friend's reaction as well. He actually called them 'digestibles' as a joke.Quote:
Originally Posted by MadMojoMonkey
I do like the concept of ordering a donut and a side of glazing though, then dunking your donut in the glaze before each bite. It's just hard to imagine what kind of receptacle to use for the glaze? A cup seems too big and it'd be hard to navigate your donut around one of those little ketchup holder things, especially before the initial bite. The first bite would inevitably have next to zero glaze on it.Quote:
Originally Posted by MadMojoMonkey
How dare you bring up my banana allergy at a time like this, you detritus from the south end of a northbound elephant!Quote:
Originally Posted by OngBonga
Danish Cookies (the aluminum round box thing) are the best, closely followed by anything from Pepperidge Farms
That's a ramekin.Quote:
Originally Posted by Poopadoop
The slightly larger, but still tiny bowls are called "monkey bowls."
All those years of waiting tables finally pays off!
Attachment 1077Quote:
Originally Posted by Jack Sawyer
Are you also a foreigner?
Seriously, did not know Danish cookies were a thing. And "the aluminum round box" doesn't help me one bit.
I thought they made like breadrolls and shit.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jack Sawyer
Ok, so you go to your local donut shop drive though, grab a six pack of donuts and six small bowls of various glaze of your choice. Sounds good to me!Quote:
Originally Posted by MadMojoMonkey
I do like those Danish shortbread cookies.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jack Sawyer
I like Pepperidge Farms, but my local grocer has a bakery that does better.
https://bigdealsmall.com/i5/dfw/dce0...315bc33.v1.jpgQuote:
Originally Posted by Poopadoop
I think the most common brand is Royal Dansk, just thinking about these makes me go up like 5 kilosQuote:
Originally Posted by Poopadoop
I meant specifically their cookie divizion obviouslyQuote:
Originally Posted by Poopadoop
Mmmmm soft baked oatmeal raisin, tahoe, sausalito
They've obviously been found to have mercury in them and banned here.Quote:
Originally Posted by MadMojoMonkey
Have you seen these before Ong?
Also, a butter cookie is very close to crossing the line into biscuit territory imo.
Bwaaahahahahahaha!Quote:
Originally Posted by Poopadoop
Get 'em by the dozen, you noob.
But yeah... give me a butter glaze dip with a dozen old-fashioned cake donuts and I'll be in a blood sugar coma faster than you can say, "Hypoglycemic attack"
Attachment 1078Quote:
Originally Posted by Jack Sawyer
There's sugar crystals on top, so you don't get confused and try to serve them with soup or some nonsense.Quote:
Originally Posted by Poopadoop
True af, nothing beats local, mass produced shit will always lag for some reason. Why is this?Quote:
Originally Posted by MadMojoMonkey
We have something here called "mancaron" or "mankaron". Usually made with coconut. You taste one someday, it will feel like you have just been enlightened.
Mmmm takes me back to my childhood
Quote:
Originally Posted by MadMojoMonkey
I know better than to order 12 of anything tasty. I am about as good at self-control when it comes to sweets as banana was when it came to words.
Even buying six donuts, I'd struggle not to eat all six one after the other, spend the rest of the day feeling like shit, and wondering wtf I did that for, and then I'd prolly do it again a couple of weeks later.
I've literally banned myself from buying bulk ice cream for that very reason. I will do the occasional cookie binge on a small package though.
You agree crackers are what go with soup right, or bread? You're not actually dunking biscuits in soup are you?Quote:
Originally Posted by MadMojoMonkey
My guess is the added preservatives and other weird stuff they add to keep cookies soft.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jack Sawyer
I don't know for certain, though.
I have a bread-maker at home, and I use it about half the time I want bread. The other half the time I just buy from the store.
My bread tastes better, but the consistency isn't the same. It's denser on the bottom of the loaf and fluffier near the top. Also, it will definitely start to show visible molding within 5 days, whereas I can get over a week from a store-bought loaf.
Sounds like a Coconut Macaroon. They are amazing.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jack Sawyer
Freshness is my guess.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jack Sawyer
Try finding a tasty tomato in England, for example. No, forget it 'cause it's been off the vine for a week on a smelly boat from Spain. British strawberries though? Oh fuck yeah.
When I was a kid we had a vegetable garden in our back yard and everything that came out of there was fucking delicious and better than store-bought by a mile. And I didn't even like vegetables.
Crackers go with chili.Quote:
Originally Posted by Poopadoop
Biscuits go with every meal, and are great to butter and dip in soup.
If a biscuit comes in the soup, then it's called a dumpling, dumpling.
Mancaron basic recipe
Another recipe
As you can see, these wildly differ. The ones who make the nut one will never divulge their recipe. I found this to be a baker near the high school I went to
Sounds like I'm not the only one who's got an over-zealous pancreas.Quote:
Originally Posted by Poopadoop
I have to do similar, but I have a bit more self control after almost putting myself into a coma when I ate 3 donuts on an empty stomach. Having a life-threatening experience gave me a real sense of power over those sweets that taste so, so good.
Morticians are using less perservatives on human corpses prepared for burial now than 50 years ago because our tissues have been collecting all the preservatives in the processed crap we eat.Quote:
Originally Posted by MadMojoMonkey
Fact.
3 donuts almost killed you? Jeezus I hope you never get caught outside in a stiff breeze without your long underwear on.Quote:
Originally Posted by MadMojoMonkey
Confirmed nerdlinger.
Not sure what my fatal dose of donuts is but I'm pretty sure I could choke down at least 10 before I even had to go to hospital. Maybe more, haven't really pushed the envelope on that one tbh.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MadMojoMonkey
Do you have some sort of prediabetes condition?
Danish "cookies" rock, but they're biscuits.
Honestly, that tin made me salivate. Pavlov's fucking biscuit tin.
I have a few of these empty tins for nails and bits and bobs.Quote:
Have you seen these before Ong?
You guys are weird.Quote:
Originally Posted by MadMojoMonkey
A dumpling is sort of a sloppy biscuity/cake crumbly thing with oozy sweet stuff inside, usually including fruit. It doesn't belong anywhere near a bowl of soup.
Salty crackers in soup, or bread in soup. No biscuits (or cookies, or cakes or dumplings, or pudding). Never ever.
A piece of bread in the soup when you get it is not called anything. That soup is called French soup and if you ask what the bread inside is called, the waiter takes it back and you get asked to leave to restaurant.
p.s. No coconut in anything. That shit is vile. And i'll eat kale if it's been mixed with something overpowering like lemon.
p.p.s Also tea is a waste of time and effort. You might as well drink a cup of hot water. Coffee or occasionally hot cocoa >>> tea.
The fuck poop? You're in England now, a dumpling is a piece of dough in stew.
Poop is right that bread goes in soup though. For dinner this evening, I had tomato soup, garlic bread and toast. Fucking champion.
Fuck Quaker, who makes a "healthy" granola thing which has about as much sugar per gram of product as an actual bag of sugarQuote:
Originally Posted by Poopadoop
And then I slowly realized pretty much all store bought granola is basically pure sugar
More like the opposite of diabetes.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jack Sawyer
In diabetics, their pancreas doesn't produce enough insulin, so when their blood sugar spikes, they have to manually inject insulin to get themselves back to correct blood sugar levels.
I have the opposite. When my blood sugar spikes, my pancreas produces way too much insulin, over-corrects the problem into a wholly different version of the same problem.
My blood sugar can crash hard, and that's just as life-threatening as having blood sugar too high.
It's much easier to manage, and it's not technically a medical condition. I.e. I don't "have" hypoglycemia. I'm prone to hypoglycemic attacks.
You are waiting to be enlightenendQuote:
Originally Posted by Poopadoop
[bane voice]THIS IS THE MOMENT OF YOUR LIBERATION[/bane voice]
And with sugar being in everything these days, damnQuote:
Originally Posted by MadMojoMonkey
Maybe if I mix coconut with kale, their respective awfulness will cancel each other out, and the result will be delicious.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jack Sawyer
Off to the grocery store!
Actually I'm probably going to end up buying a box of cookies/biscuits instead.
Pro tip: Healthy food comes out of the ground, gets washed, and put on a shelf. Everything that gets chopped up, mixed, put through a test tube, then put inside of a package has all the nutrition taken out and something fattening/cancerous added to it that will probably change your DNA and make you unable to produce kids and should only be eaten as a last resort.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jack Sawyer
Not the 3 donuts, but the "on an empty stomach" part.Quote:
Originally Posted by Poopadoop
So the physics thread didn't give it away?Quote:
Originally Posted by Poopadoop
Well, I'm not qualified to draw any conclusions, but the way you described being addicted to sweets is pretty common among people with my condition.Quote:
Originally Posted by Poopadoop
I recommend not getting tested for it, but just being sensible about sugar intake and not pushing it. Eating 10 donuts isn't healthy for anyone, anyway.
Not joking about the testing. It's really not worth it. They'll basically pour sugar into you until you feel like absolute shit and want to die, then make you jog on a treadmill until you puke, then figure out other ways to make you regret the entire decision to be tested. When it's all said and done, if you test positive, they'll tell you to eat sensibly and don't eat sugary foods on an empty stomach. Well, fuckin', thanks, doc! That's what you said before the testing when you weren't sure if I had this problem. ARRRGHGHGHGH!
You mean like Yorkshire pudding? I've never heard of a Yorkshire dumpling.Quote:
Originally Posted by OngBonga
This is what I think of as a dumpling.
Attachment 1079
...although one could be forgiven for just referring to it as 'pastry'.
Try the royal dansks. They are the galactic basic of cookies.Quote:
Originally Posted by Poopadoop
You are right, and I learned this the hard way. Marketing does stuff to people.Quote:
Originally Posted by Poopadoop
They could have saved a lot of time and effort by just asking how much you liked physics.Quote:
Originally Posted by MadMojoMonkey
I'm pretty sure I'd pass that test though since I can on occasion eat a dozen cookies on an empty stomach and be regretful but not comatose.
I'm actually pretty good overall with my eating habits. I even make my own juice at home. Normally I have about one or two servings of sweets a week, like a piece of cake or a chocolate bar. It's just occasionally that I overindulge my sweet tooth and then regret it for a day or so afterwards.
Yorkshire puddings aren't dough, they're basically batter.
Dough is water and flour, maybe salt. I haven't had dumplings since I was a kid, they're basically a cheap way to bulk up a liquid heavy meal, like stew.
That what you showed there, looks like a pasty, but it has icing on? A pasty has meat in, like a Cornish Pasty. I dunno what you call a fruit pasty with icing on. Fucking wrong, that's what it's called.
Yorkshire puddings are made of the same stuff as pancakes, at least the type we eat on Shrove Tuesday.
We have those, filled with pretty much anything like beef, chicken, ham, cheese, etc, no glazing though on top though.Quote:
Originally Posted by Poopadoop
My favorite is tuna, raisins and some erwten (like green beans?) mix
If they come in a small package I will try them one day. Otherwise I must pretend they don't exist, for my own good.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jack Sawyer
I know, right?Quote:
Originally Posted by Jack Sawyer
It's not so bad, though. I just have "normal" meals, heavy on veggies, bit of meat and some potatoes or pasta or bread to round it out.
Habits are easy to keep and at this point in my life, I have pretty good habits about what is enough "real" food compared to processed stuff with sugars added.
Much as I love desserts, I have to skip them when eating out. If I didn't prepare the meal, then I have to assume it already had too much sugar in it to have a dessert after.
:lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by Poopadoop
You got me.
That's a different animal altogether, like a meat pie or Calzone or whatever. I'm sure Ong has the definitive name for them.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jack Sawyer
These are filled with an oozy fruity thing, like apple and cinnamon and liquid sugar for example.
I love how you randomly insert Dutch words into your otherwise perfect English. I always have to stop and think - wait, what's that word? oh yea it's not English obv..Quote:
Originally Posted by Jack Sawyer
Apple turnoverQuote:
These are filled with an oozy fruity thing, like apple and cinnamon and liquid sugar for example.
If you're having pastry with fruit, it has to be puff pastry.
Garlic bread AND toast?Quote:
Originally Posted by OngBonga
ARARARRRGHGGHGH!!!
I once cooked Italian food for an Italian and he was scandalized that I had pasta in both the starter and the main. "It'sa too much!"
That's right. I got that one wrong actually.Quote:
Originally Posted by OngBonga
Dumpling I'm thinking of this:
Attachment 1080
Google was trolling me the first time ldo.
Edit: Now, I really want one of you knobgobblers to dump that in a soup, and post a photo of you eating the resulting sludge, just to prove I'm wrong.
:D:D:DQuote:
Originally Posted by Poopadoop
The moment it has icing on it is the moment I don't need to know what's inside to know it's not a dumpling.Quote:
Originally Posted by Poopadoop
I agree with ongie about dumplings being bread cooked by boiling in a soup or stew.
For what it's worth, just about every country I've come across has some form of spiced meat wrapped in bread. From Egg Rolls to Potstickers to all manner of savory finger-food pies from the middle east and Mediterranean countries. Even ravioli counts, IMO.
PastRy, not pasty.Quote:
Originally Posted by OngBonga
Pasty is your face in January after three months of overcast, you English type.
No shit?!Quote:
Originally Posted by OngBonga
It's looks so, so sketchy, though!
I always expected it to be some overly salty, savory compliment for meat.