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Varchertine's Werewolf

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  1. #1
    JKDS's Avatar
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    Default Varchertine's Werewolf

    INTRO

    The scene is a typical day at ISIS headquarters. Not middleeast ISIS, the International Secret Intelligence Service ISIS. Racist.

    Ms. Malory Archer, director of ISIS, is in the middle of going over a few items for company review.

    Malory: "And if it happens again, I'll put a lock on it so no one can enjoy it! Moving on. Item 6. We received a letter from that bitch, Trudy Beekman.

    *Everyone remembered the last time she discussed Trudy*



    Malory: But. . . instead of reading it, I thought we should each take turns giving it a literal vasectomy."

    Lana, Isis Spy: You mean a figurative vasectomy?

    Archer, Isis Spy: Of course she does, Lana. You cant literally give a letter a vasectomy. God, read a medical book.

    Lana: ...

    Pam, with HR: Oh, for gawds sake. I'll read it.

    All members of ISIS have been cordially invited to a couples retreat, courtesy of Trudy Beekman.
    This is an all expenses paid, open bar, once in a lifetime event. To qualify, you need only bring a +1.

    Malory: Well, its a shame you have no way of getting there, I guess we'll just have to throw this letter back in Ms. Trud...

    Cheryl, the secretary, barges in: OH MY JESUS GOD DAMN ALRIGHT ALREADY

    Malory: Can I possibly help you?

    Cheryl: Please, I know you were talking loud so I'd hear you, so whatever, so if you want a jet to fly to this retreat you can take mine.

    Pam: Yayyyyyyyy, a free couples retreat! Soooo who all is taking who...

    Archer: Hey, lana...you know what this means? Lana? Lana? Lana? (inhale) LANAAAAAAAAAAAA

    Lana: "WHAT'

    Archer: (snickers) "Dangerzone!!!!!!"

    *And just like that, the employees of ISIS went together on a mysterious couples retreat. But they werent the only ones going. Some ghosts of ISIS's past were invited by that bitch, Trudy Beekman, as well. Lets hope everyone can get by without killing each other at least...*

    Game Rules
    1. Pink is my color. MINE. Dont use it.
    2. There will be no night kills or actions. After all, you cant have night kills or actions without a night phase.
    3. There will be no night phase.
    4. Everyone will be divided into pairs. People in the same pair may freely talk to each other outside the game thread. There is one other thing about these pairs too...hrm...its on the tip of my tongue...Rats. All well. I'm sure I'll remember by morning.
    5. Otherwise, traditional ww rules apply. Bold to lynch, majority lynches, days are 72 hours long, etc etc.

    GAME START WILL BE SOMETIME AFTER CLASS TOMORROW
  2. #2
    JKDS's Avatar
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    PMS will be given out around that same time as well.
  3. #3
    FIRST, bitches!
    "I don't tip. I don't believe in it. This tipping automatically, it's for the birds. As far as I'm concerned, they're just doing their job."
  4. #4
    Okay...So since Giggle's inception in 1998, I've looked up virtually everything possible cuz IDK shit. But, strangely, the word Varchertine yielded the following result from our pal Giggle:
    Your search - Varchertine - did not match any documents.
    Suggestions:
    •Make sure all words are spelled correctly.
    •Try different keywords.
    •Try more general keywords.


    Giggle's arch nemesis, Bong, yielded the same dead end.

    I'd venture to say our sneaky host did not stumble upon this anomaly accidentally.
    "I don't tip. I don't believe in it. This tipping automatically, it's for the birds. As far as I'm concerned, they're just doing their job."
  5. #5
    BTW, since there's no night, it's not n0 right now. And game hasn't "started" yet, so it's not d1. Does this mean I'm sitting here posting in d0? Is this bad? But if there's no posting in d0, why's the thread open? I'm assuming I'm safe here. Or could I become the first ever mod-kill b4 game even started?? That'd be cool. I hope my soulmate doesn't hate me forever. Clearly our souls continue to live on despite the return to dust of our mortal bodies. So, to my anon soulbuddy, I've "prayed the lord my soul to take" but plz don't hate me after you wake up in the next life. 4ev is a long time to begrudge.
    "I don't tip. I don't believe in it. This tipping automatically, it's for the birds. As far as I'm concerned, they're just doing their job."
  6. #6
    Okay, so I'm not mod-dead yet; thus, I am and therefore shall continue to be...

    ISIS be da soulmate of OSIRIS, according to them Egyptians--the original mythological god worshipers. The I and O forever connected. Or, for you computer nerds, the 1 and 0; forever bound as well. But all that's for another discussion if this point becomes relevant.

    I-SIS...or I, Sis. Aka, I your sister. Interesting that the "company" ISIS is staffed entirely of women.

    So far we have:

    1) Ms. MALORY ARCHER: The Director. You may call her MA or mom or mum (depending on country of origin).
    2) LANA: A Spy. The literal snooty librarian type.
    3) ARCHER: A Spy. Not to be confused with our beloved Director, Ms. Archer (hence why I just call her Ma). Archer is not-so-secretly in love with Lana and simply cannot wait to enter her "dangerzone."
    4) PAM: In HR. Cheapskate who speaks with a Brooklyn or Bostonian accent (prob the former).
    5) CHERYL: The Secretary. Loudmouth with her own private jet. Thazrite bitches!
    ---------------
    6) Ms. TRUDY BEEKMAN: Mysterious woman of intrigue. Likes pearl necklaces. Hated by Ma. Our retreat benefactor.
    7) GHOSTS: Undetermined number of Unwelcome Guests.
    Last edited by Keybored; 02-02-2015 at 05:42 AM.
    "I don't tip. I don't believe in it. This tipping automatically, it's for the birds. As far as I'm concerned, they're just doing their job."
  7. #7
    FTR, I don't have a PM yet. So nothing I'm saying is role indicative.
    **I just love that word: Indicative. Makes me think dirty things.
    "I don't tip. I don't believe in it. This tipping automatically, it's for the birds. As far as I'm concerned, they're just doing their job."
  8. #8
    "Mr. Pink sounds like Mr. Pussy."
    "How 'bout if I'm Mr. Purple? That sounds good to me. I'll be Mr. Purple."

    "Shut the fuck up, Donny!"

    "Ha, ha, ha ... I crack myself up."
    "I don't tip. I don't believe in it. This tipping automatically, it's for the birds. As far as I'm concerned, they're just doing their job."
  9. #9
    So...right now the cards below my avatar and name show a Queen high flush in diamonds. I have 498 posts. What happens to my hand when I hit 500?
    "I don't tip. I don't believe in it. This tipping automatically, it's for the birds. As far as I'm concerned, they're just doing their job."
  10. #10
    Here's 499...oooh, I can't wait!
    Isn't the suspense killing you?
    "I don't tip. I don't believe in it. This tipping automatically, it's for the birds. As far as I'm concerned, they're just doing their job."
  11. #11
    And this is 500.
    Of course, I don't know what will happen until I hit the enter key and my post pops up.
    This better be worth it.
    I'm much better than a Q-hi flush!!




    Survey says:
    "I don't tip. I don't believe in it. This tipping automatically, it's for the birds. As far as I'm concerned, they're just doing their job."
  12. #12
    FUCKING FAIL!
    "I don't tip. I don't believe in it. This tipping automatically, it's for the birds. As far as I'm concerned, they're just doing their job."
  13. #13
    Hey...isn't it cool that I posted #500 exactly at 5:00?
    Totally did not do that intentionally.
    Pretty fucking spooky.
    "I don't tip. I don't believe in it. This tipping automatically, it's for the birds. As far as I'm concerned, they're just doing their job."
  14. #14
    Can we lynch keybored yet?
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  15. #15
    Careful, Bongoloid, we may be soulmates. Wouldn't wanna off your better half so carelessly.
  16. #16
    Good point.

    Also, bongaloid is a MUCH better pisstake nickname than wrongbonga.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  17. #17
    bigred's Avatar
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    Looking forward to re-enacting the super bowl halftime show every night with my partner. This game is a long second priority behind that. Hope you got your dancing shark costume ready.
    LOL OPERATIONS
  18. #18
    bigred's Avatar
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    It says game time will start after class tomorrow. Is after class an EST, CST, or PST reference? Or maybe DT? Dangeh-time-zone!!!
    LOL OPERATIONS
  19. #19
    bigred's Avatar
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    LOL OPERATIONS
  20. #20
    JKDS's Avatar
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    Its DT.
  21. #21
    MadMojoMonkey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Keybored View Post
    FTR, I don't have a PM yet. So nothing I'm saying is role indicative.
    wolfy

    Quote Originally Posted by JKDS View Post
    Its DT.
  22. #22
    rong's Avatar
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    Are we there yet?
    I'm the king of bongo, baby I'm the king of bongo bong.
  23. #23
    gabe's Avatar
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    here we go
  24. #24
    JKDS's Avatar
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    PMs are now distributed.
  25. #25
    the wwgoat as arrived. keep your pants on
  26. #26
    *has

    how poetic and appropriate
  27. #27
    when is the game starting?

    or are we just assuming it's over since my team always wins?

    my goal is to make mmm hate me even more. is it obvious?
  28. #28
    JKDS's Avatar
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    Game Starts in <2 hours
  29. #29
    starting your mom in <2 hours



  30. #30
    JKDS's Avatar
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    No more posts! I am sending out pms for real now. It is taking a bit b/c my professor keeps staring at me and I have to keep up the charade of looking like im paying attention.
  31. #31
    JKDS's Avatar
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    Role PMS have all been sent out! PM me if I missed you on accident.
  32. #32
    BankItDrew's Avatar
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    So is the game on? Here?

    Sweet theme btw. Love Archer.
  33. #33
    JKDS's Avatar
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    Game is on, but I moved it to another thread. It just seemed easier.

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