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Randomness thread, part two.

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  1. #4951
    Soccer is like Twilight, the fans are delusional to the point that they convince themselves anyone who doesnt like it just doesnt get it, theres a whole lot of running around, and no one ever scores.


    (I do enjoy watching a good match, and I played up til sophomore year of high school, but this joke is just too good!)
  2. #4952
    Quote Originally Posted by spenda
    did the least heterosexual thing of my life tonight <...>
    Quote Originally Posted by boost
    <twilight joke>
    1up'd
  3. #4953
  4. #4954
    Coolio. I beat it.
  5. #4955
    Quote Originally Posted by Warpe View Post
    Was that my wife that jumped?
  6. #4956
    a500lbgorilla's Avatar
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    I'm pretty sure it's you. Or the very last carbon copy of you in the world.
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  7. #4957
    Not if you win the game. I finished it.
  8. #4958
    a500lbgorilla's Avatar
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    I walked up, in my underwear, behind someone on the edge of the roof who jumped off. The game then ended.
    <a href=http://i.imgur.com/kWiMIMW.png target=_blank>http://i.imgur.com/kWiMIMW.png</a>
  9. #4959
    a500lbgorilla's Avatar
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  10. #4960
    Yea, that's the one I was talking about. I thought it was a tall woman in a skirt, but it's just me on the fence. Nevermind
  11. #4961
    BooG690's Avatar
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    My wife WOULD leave me after getting fired. What a money-hungry whore.
    That's how winners play; we convince the other guy he's making all the right moves.
  12. #4962
    Well that was a waste of 10 minutes
  13. #4963
    how did you get past your boss in your underwear? He tells me Im fired and I start over.
  14. #4964
    a500lbgorilla's Avatar
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    After taking all 5 steps towards a new life, the world is devoid of bosses.
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  15. #4965
  16. #4966
    What the shit guys, at least get dressed for the final scene. Have some dignity.
  17. #4967
    bigred's Avatar
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    Moved in with gf. Things are going completely awesome so far. I actually have food in the fridge, wine in my glass, and a made bed that is clean. Life is good.
    LOL OPERATIONS
  18. #4968
    Quote Originally Posted by bigred View Post
    Moved in with gf. Things are going completely awesome so far. I actually have food in the fridge, wine in my glass, and a made bed that is clean. Life is good.
    beat: you may as well sell the new xbox, amirite
  19. #4969
    big step, but from what I've heard about her (supposedly she's awesome--I mean besides the whole being with you thing--but whatever), you'll love it. moving in with my GF (now wife) was really great, and still is.

    right now, though, at this very second, she is hovering over the toilet. she felt shitty from weeks 6 to 11 and then the last five weeks or so she's been great. tonight we had a party, she's telling me that "some sort of food didn't sit right with her." yeeeeaaahhh right, you're pregnant woman!

    GL, so much to look forward to, Ben!


    P.S. As she was hovering over the toilet I did thank her for being awesome, for carrying my child and dealing with all the bullshit that pregnancy brings. Then I cracked another beer.


  20. #4970
    a500lbgorilla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by UG View Post
    big step, but from what I've heard about her (supposedly she's awesome--I mean besides the whole being with you thing--but whatever), you'll love it. moving in with my GF (now wife) was really great, and still is.

    right now, though, at this very second, she is hovering over the toilet. she felt shitty from weeks 6 to 11 and then the last five weeks or so she's been great. tonight we had a party, she's telling me that "some sort of food didn't sit right with her." yeeeeaaahhh right, you're pregnant woman!

    GL, so much to look forward to, Ben!


    P.S. As she was hovering over the toilet I did thank her for being awesome, for carrying my child and dealing with all the bullshit that pregnancy brings. Then I cracked another beer.
    LOL

    Bigred, moving in will be awesome! Look at what happened to me and my pregnant wife.

    The juxtaposition would spook me.
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  21. #4971
    a500lbgorilla's Avatar
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  22. #4972
  23. #4973
    Holy wow I just heard the new Mel Gibson audio. That man has PROBLEMS. His career is OVER. You could try to say more cruel things than what he did, and not be successful
  24. #4974
    a500lbgorilla's Avatar
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    Hey wufwugums
    <a href=http://i.imgur.com/kWiMIMW.png target=_blank>http://i.imgur.com/kWiMIMW.png</a>
  25. #4975
    God I hate having to scroll Wuf's sig all the time off the page so my 6year old doesn't say "What's she doing?"
  26. #4976
    bigred's Avatar
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    This is how I feel reading Wufwugy posts...

    LOL OPERATIONS
  27. #4977
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    Holy wow I just heard the new Mel Gibson audio. That man has PROBLEMS. His career is OVER. You could try to say more cruel things than what he did, and not be successful
    my jaw hit the floor when he told her she was going to get "raped by a pack of n*ggers." holy shit. career = over


  28. #4978
    link to gibson, me be lazy
  29. #4979
  30. #4980
    rong's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by UG View Post
    my jaw hit the floor when he told her she was going to get "raped by a pack of n*ggers." holy shit. career = over
    Yeah, how many groups of people does this fuck wanna offend in a lifetime.
    I'm the king of bongo, baby I'm the king of bongo bong.
  31. #4981
    JKDS's Avatar
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  32. #4982
    not sure where to post this, but 4chan stuffs the ballot box and sends Justin Bieber on tour to North Korea

    Justin Bieber My World Tour - Faxo.com Vote Wall Contest
  33. #4983
    note to self: When you have the remains from butchering fish and the stuff to be discarded from making stock/consomme and you need to throw it out in the middle of the summer with consistent 80°+ days, freeze the garbage, then take it out on garbage day.

    Luckily garbage days is tomorrow, but right now there are several thousand maggots creeping and crawling out of my trash can in the alley. It seriously looks like a scene from some crappy horror movie.
  34. #4984
    I didn't notice these posted on here, but maybe I just missed it. Really cool:

    YouTube - RSA Animate - The Empathic Civilisation

    Caution: If stoned, your mind may explode.
  35. #4985
    Quote Originally Posted by boost View Post
    note to self: When you have the remains from butchering fish and the stuff to be discarded from making stock/consomme and you need to throw it out in the middle of the summer with consistent 80°+ days, freeze the garbage, then take it out on garbage day.

    Luckily garbage days is tomorrow, but right now there are several thousand maggots creeping and crawling out of my trash can in the alley. It seriously looks like a scene from some crappy horror movie.
    Got an alarm system installed early last week. Discovered only last night that the installer unplugged our freezer in the process. Hauled a heavy Glad garbage bag full of stinking thawed meat (pork sausages, tuna steaks, chicken, etc etc) out to the trash can, along with another bag of non-meat items. Garbage pick-up not til Thursday. Prognosis?
  36. #4986
    Srsly, you're setting yourself up for massive projectile vomiting and fear-ridden stares from neighbours who think you killed your wife and stashed the body. Either take it to the dump or drive behind your friendly neighbourhood grocery store and donate it to their dumpster.
  37. #4987
    BooG690's Avatar
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    How much to get you to eat it?
    That's how winners play; we convince the other guy he's making all the right moves.
  38. #4988
    Quote Originally Posted by Warpe View Post
    Got an alarm system installed early last week. Discovered only last night that the installer unplugged our freezer in the process. Hauled a heavy Glad garbage bag full of stinking thawed meat (pork sausages, tuna steaks, chicken, etc etc) out to the trash can, along with another bag of non-meat items. Garbage pick-up not til Thursday. Prognosis?
    alarm system installer better be coming back over with meat to put in your freezer, or $$$ to pay for what was lost. remember, though, you had only the finest quality meats in there, the real expensive stuff and lots of it.


  39. #4989
    ya, if I were gonna do it again, Id either freeze the stuff, or put it in a garbage bag then twist the top closed tight, then use duct tape to make a really tight seal, then repeat this process at least 5 times to try to avoid any of the stench getting out as to not attract the flies.

    And ya, that fuck face better be buying you a shitton of prime meat.
  40. #4990
    Quote Originally Posted by BennyLaRue View Post
    Srsly, you're setting yourself up for massive projectile vomiting and fear-ridden stares from neighbours who think you killed your wife and stashed the body. Either take it to the dump or drive behind your friendly neighbourhood grocery store and donate it to their dumpster.
    Great cover story tho, no?

    Yeah, a midnight trip to a dumpster might be in order.

    Did I mention the rampaging gangs of raccoons in my neighbourhood?
  41. #4991
    do you have any neighbours you dislike warpe?
  42. #4992
    my aunt highlighted my hair for free! it looks so prettyyyyyy!
    I will destroy you with sunshine and kittens.
  43. #4993
    ya why didn't you just toss the shit in your neighbors can?
    your banner burned here
  44. #4994
    Quote Originally Posted by Chelle View Post
    my aunt highlighted my hair for free! it looks so prettyyyyyy!
    Gotta admit that before I looked at the name, I just assumed bigred posted this.
  45. #4995
  46. #4996
    biwf.
  47. #4997
    5k!


  48. #4998
    soooooo..............I'm going to be a dad, right? Question is, boy or girl?


    IT'S A BOY, WOOOOOOOOT!

    Found out today, and I'm so fcking happy it's ridiculous. Now, mind you, I thought it was a girl for the first 14 weeks or so. I was damn happy about that. I was looking forward to daddy's little girl, etc....I always wanted a boy but didn't care. Then the last 3-4 weeks I *knew* it was a boy, and was going to be kind of disappointed if it was a girl. Even the other night, the wife said, "the heartbeat and the weeks-along pair up with a girl..." And I said, "FUCK." The wife gave me the stink-face and said, "GEORGE!" and I played it off like I didn't care, was only kidding, I can't wait to have a girl......but inside I was really like DAMN.

    Fast-forward to today when we find out, I'm ready for whatever. I look on the screen and think I see a little baby penis, but maybe not. A baby penis? Maybe not. Then the girl doing the sonogram clicks the mouse, points to the screen and says, "that's a penis." Wooooooooot! I actually yelled, "YES," and did a little fist-pump in the room. Wife was extremely happy too but I don't know if that was because I was so happy, or what.......either way I'm having a little boy. Hopefully he's not an asshole like bigred and his penis is bigger than 'rillas!


  49. #4999
    supa's Avatar
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    congratulations
    “Right thoughts produce right actions and right actions produce work which will be a material reflection for others to see of the serenity at the center of it all”

    Put hero on a goddamn range part II- The 6max years

    Quote Originally Posted by d0zer View Post
    start using your brain more and vagina less

    Quote Originally Posted by kingnat View Post
    Members who's signature is a humorous quote about his/herself made by someone who is considered a notable member of the FTR community to give themselves a sense of belonging.
  50. #5000
    a500lbgorilla's Avatar
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    woah woah woah, a penis as big as mine is a blessing and a curse. There is such a thing as too big.
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  51. #5001
    bode's Avatar
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    congrats UG! having a boy is awesome. My son is getting ready to turn 1 and is starting to roll a ball back and forth with me. I just cant wait until he can swing a bat!
    eeevees are not monies yet...they are like baby monies.
  52. #5002
    Oh it gets better. My kid and I play cards (pokemon), bakugan, Mario Galaxy 1+2 and tons of other vid games and he just turned 6.
  53. #5003
    BooG690's Avatar
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    And LittleBigPlanet. That's so ballin' to play video games with your kid. I want a kid now.
    That's how winners play; we convince the other guy he's making all the right moves.
  54. #5004
    Dreseethets Guest

    Default My first post

    Hey everybody. This is actually my very first post here and so I merely wanted to introduce myself personally and say hi.
  55. #5005
    yeah I wouldn't want to have a daughter because I know how horrible raising a girl is.
    Quote Originally Posted by Fnord View Post
    Why poker fucks with our heads: it's the master that beats you for bringing in the paper, then gives you a milkbone for peeing on the carpet.

    blog: http://donkeybrainspoker.com/


    Watch me stream $200 hyper HU and $100 Spins on Twitch!
  56. #5006
    a500lbgorilla's Avatar
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  57. #5007
    bode's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BooG690 View Post
    And LittleBigPlanet. That's so ballin' to play video games with your kid. I want a kid now.
    i cant wait until i have an excuse to play video games again
    eeevees are not monies yet...they are like baby monies.
  58. #5008
    rong's Avatar
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    I'm so gonna try and get my daughter in games like CoD & GTA..... actually no, fuck that, I don't know that I really want my daughter playing GTA, too much sex & sluttiness in it, but definitely up for CoD, killing is fine.
    I'm the king of bongo, baby I'm the king of bongo bong.
  59. #5009
    Erowcappetaro Guest

    Default Hello I'm a new user here

    Hello I'm a new user here. Just wanted to say hi.
  60. #5010
    a500lbgorilla's Avatar
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    Hi
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  61. #5011
  62. #5012
    Quote Originally Posted by DanAronG View Post
    I'm so gonna try and get my daughter in games like CoD & GTA..... actually no, fuck that, I don't know that I really want my daughter playing GTA, too much sex & sluttiness in it, but definitely up for CoD, killing is fine.
    Um... you forgot your <sarcasm> tags...
    Hey knucklehead! Bonk!
  63. #5013
    been building a motorcycle for the past two years. Started with a non running ~35 year old bike, took it completely apart including the entire engine. Just took my first ride on it earlier today. Ship it.
  64. #5014
    I just discovered a 1.5" cut along the side of my arm. From the looks of the scab it's a few days old but I have zero recollection of how it got there.
    Congratulations, you've won your dick's weight in sweets! Decode the message in the above post to find out how to claim your tic-tac
  65. #5015
    a500lbgorilla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lucothefish View Post
    I just discovered a 1.5" cut along the side of my arm. From the looks of the scab it's a few days old but I have zero recollection of how it got there.
    Heroine?
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  66. #5016
    a500lbgorilla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by boost View Post
    been building a motorcycle for the past two years. Started with a non running ~35 year old bike, took it completely apart including the entire engine. Just took my first ride on it earlier today. Ship it.
    That's awesome.
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  67. #5017
    Props to boost, and sadly no no drugs involved
    Congratulations, you've won your dick's weight in sweets! Decode the message in the above post to find out how to claim your tic-tac
  68. #5018
    Quote Originally Posted by boost View Post
    been building a motorcycle for the past two years. Started with a non running ~35 year old bike, took it completely apart including the entire engine. Just took my first ride on it earlier today. Ship it.
    Pics please. I think you started a thread when you started this project.
  69. #5019
    Quote Originally Posted by Warpe View Post
    Pics please. I think you started a thread when you started this project.
    I did, because I was super excited, but after thinking about it I decided keeping an updated motorcycle build log on a poker forum is pretty lame. I dont currently have access to a camera, but Ill try to change that. I wouldnt say the bike is cosmetically 100% done, but I want to get to riding, at the end of the season Ill tighten up some small details and whatnot.
  70. #5020
    bigred's Avatar
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    Convo with my gf on ghat:

    me: gotcha
    i may or may not be drinking chardonnay in the airport
    Anna: haha
    cute
    me: everyone else ordered bud lights
    does that make me gay?
    Anna: no, more just a douche
    me: i'm wearing my french cuff shirt with my initials on the cuff
    it is I....SUPER DOUCHE
    Anna: dear lord
    see, i'd love to monogram everything i own
    but i could pull it off
    me: should i complain that in manhattan they have 5 different kinds of chardonnay on every menu
    WHAT
    how can you pull it off and i can't?
    i'm awesome
    Anna: cause i just can



    I can pull it off, right?!?!?!?!
    LOL OPERATIONS
  71. #5021
    pics
  72. #5022
    of you not her, no homo
  73. #5023
    bigred's Avatar
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    k

    me, jymz, and swiggidy



    swiggidy is contemplating plato and stuff
    LOL OPERATIONS
  74. #5024
    bigred's Avatar
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    but let's get back on topic, I can pull it off, right?
    LOL OPERATIONS
  75. #5025
    a500lbgorilla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kiwiMark View Post
    of you not her, no homo
    I'm not sure you understand what no homo means.

    bigred, you should definitely monogram everything, but use fake initials on every article of clothing. You'll be awesome in 2 ways. 1) It's a natural deterrent against would-be identity thieves and 2) You'll be very mysterious.
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