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Randomness thread, part two.

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  1. #4801
    Quote Originally Posted by UG View Post
    some resemblance of my wife now that she's pregnant. at first it was like WOOOOOOOOT bigger boobies, now it's like DAMN! what happened to that sculpted ass of yours? and we're only at 12 weeks. not that I'm hitting it very often anyway.
    Quote Originally Posted by Fnord View Post
    Why poker fucks with our heads: it's the master that beats you for bringing in the paper, then gives you a milkbone for peeing on the carpet.

    blog: http://donkeybrainspoker.com/


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  2. #4802
    courtie, it's all part of the process, dear--I don't love her any less! I actually love her MORE because she's got our freaking kid in her belly!

    you better believe her ass is back in the gym two weeks after having the baby, though. I will not stand for this shit when she's not pregnant.


    please know that I'm kidding, but knowing her that's how she'll be anyway (and I am ok with that!), and if not I'm ok with that too


  3. #4803
    a500lbgorilla's Avatar
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    According to your last two posts, your wife is hideous and your child is a freak. How do you think you can best apologize to your family?
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  4. #4804
    trust me my wife is still way hot, all is good in the world


    EDIT: and yeah, I do sound like a dick up there, that wasn't my intention. her body has changed *a little* so far but we're pregnant. as long as she's happy/healthy/etc it doesn't matter.
    Last edited by UG; 06-04-2010 at 02:47 PM.


  5. #4805
    bigred's Avatar
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    screenshots + facebook = kate's soon to be on the market!
    LOL OPERATIONS
  6. #4806
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    Quote Originally Posted by UG View Post
    courtie, it's all part of the process, dear--I don't love her any less! I actually love her MORE because she's got our freaking kid in her belly!

    you better believe her ass is back in the gym two weeks after having the baby, though. I will not stand for this shit when she's not pregnant.


    please know that I'm kidding, but knowing her that's how she'll be anyway (and I am ok with that!), and if not I'm ok with that too
    everyone knows that you're not kidding <3

    we need to drinks some beers yo, it's been way too long
  7. #4807
    bigred's Avatar
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    sup lukie
    LOL OPERATIONS
  8. #4808
    Quote Originally Posted by UG View Post
    courtie, it's all part of the process, dear--I don't love her any less! I actually love her MORE because she's got our freaking kid in her belly!

    you better believe her ass is back in the gym two weeks after having the baby, though. I will not stand for this shit when she's not pregnant.

    This was my semi serious attitude too when the wife was pregnant. I made a bunch of jokes but I knew she would never let herself go with her drive and attitude towards herself. Boy was I wrong. Kids change shit. Neither of us has got within 30 lbs of our pre pregnancy weight. I finally got back to 255 this week from my max of 290 on April 1st this year. Well over 6 years ago, when she got pregnant, I was 235
  9. #4809
    Lukie's Avatar
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    sup bigred

    going to the gym!
  10. #4810
    rong's Avatar
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    errrr....wuf.... there's a fat chick instead of your sig, sort it out bruv.
    I'm the king of bongo, baby I'm the king of bongo bong.
  11. #4811
    Quote Originally Posted by DanAronG View Post
    errrr....wuf.... there's a fat chick instead of your sig, sort it out bruv.
    This one's for me

    The other was because I know all you nubs have some kinda weird fetish for pale flat ass fake redheads
  12. #4812
    BooG690's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    This one's for me

    The other was because I know all you nubs have some kinda weird fetish for pale flat ass fake redheads
    Wuf...I'm all against pasty dumbass redheads too. However, if you were gonna get a curvy girl there as your sig, why not get some ebony? Curvy + ivory just looks fat.
    That's how winners play; we convince the other guy he's making all the right moves.
  13. #4813
    lol at her being fat. She would probably look a wee bit better if she were thinner, but variety is a necessity, and she is within the acceptable range with which to satisfy that variety.

    Also, I've seen every gif of hot chicks ever made, and aesthetically acceptable ethnic booty is very difficult to come by. They usually always cater to that stupid spastic booty shaking fetish, not to mention that 98% of cinematography of all things porn related is utter garbage

    And lol at not questioning heterosexuality after lamenting the shape of her hips. Big lol at that one. On top of that, no real man has ever questioned a pretty face with pigtails

    Just sayin bro, you mights be gay. Youse might wanna look into that, could be you find dick be all that and a bag of ketchup chips
  14. #4814
    JKDS's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    This one's for me

    The other was because I know all you nubs have some kinda weird fetish for pale flat ass fake redheads
    [x]has fetish for fake redheads
    [ ] the fetish is weird

    And ya, +1 to dan being gay.
  15. #4815
    Quote Originally Posted by JKDS View Post
    [x]has fetish for fake redheads
    [ ] the fetish is weird

    And ya, +1 to dan being gay.
    brosiah, just because you're a good broseph here's a mega hot pasty fake redhead all for you, lindsay broham

    nsfyourmom http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4069/...963bf573_b.jpg
    Last edited by wufwugy; 06-04-2010 at 08:29 PM.
  16. #4816
    JKDS's Avatar
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  17. #4817
    I like her attitude.
  18. #4818
    moustache man knows wassup
  19. #4819
    rong's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JKDS View Post
    [x]has fetish for fake redheads
    [ ] the fetish is weird

    And ya, +1 to dan being gay.

    [x] JKDS is a chubby chaser
    [x] Dan would hit the fat chick too, but only if there wasn't a slim chick to hit on instead
    I'm the king of bongo, baby I'm the king of bongo bong.
  20. #4820
    it doesn't make sense how she can be called fat, chubby or remotely overweight

    she's just buxom with massive hips

    and buxom = win
  21. #4821
    Quote Originally Posted by UG View Post
    courtie, it's all part of the process, dear--I don't love her any less! I actually love her MORE because she's got our freaking kid in her belly!

    you better believe her ass is back in the gym two weeks after having the baby, though. I will not stand for this shit when she's not pregnant.


    please know that I'm kidding, but knowing her that's how she'll be anyway (and I am ok with that!), and if not I'm ok with that too
    haha the sad face wasn't so much about your sounding like a dick but more for the fact that I really really am dreading being pregnant (and delivering). All you fuckers on this forum are so lucky you don't have to face that prospect. I really want to have a couple kids but it's gonna suck so much.
    Quote Originally Posted by Fnord View Post
    Why poker fucks with our heads: it's the master that beats you for bringing in the paper, then gives you a milkbone for peeing on the carpet.

    blog: http://donkeybrainspoker.com/


    Watch me stream $200 hyper HU and $100 Spins on Twitch!
  22. #4822
    Galapogos's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    Just sayin bro, you mights be gay. Youse might wanna look into that, could be you find dick be all that and a bag of ketchup chips
    Since when do Americans know about ketchup chips?


    Quote Originally Posted by sauce123
    I don't get why you insist on stacking off with like jack high all the time.
  23. #4823
    Quote Originally Posted by Galapogos View Post
    Since when do Americans know about ketchup chips?
    YouTube - "High as F#%k" Music Video
  24. #4824
    mmmm thick white chicks...
  25. #4825
    Pat3082 or whatever is name is currently has 17/20 threads in the MTT forum. New record?
  26. #4826
    bigred's Avatar
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    Funny convo from overheardinnewyork.com:


    Middle aged lawyer #1, reading newspaper: Childhood obesity is an epidemic? America is the only country where poor people are fat.
    Middle aged lawyer #2: Cheap food is fattening.
    Middle aged lawyer #1: Maybe so, but if they're fat, they can't be starving, right? Nobody ever starved to death while they were fat.
    Middle aged lawyer #2: The reason they're fat is that they can't afford to eat healthy. Your comment is shockingly racist, hateful and ignorant.
    Middle aged lawyer #1: Oh, now being fat is a race issue? Ever been to Disney World? They have white people there who could cause an eclipse.
    Middle aged lawyer #2: Our agricultural policy encourages the poor to eat cheap, unhealthy calories. A Big Mac might make you full, but it also makes you fat!
    Middle aged lawyer #1: McDonald's sells salads too, ya know. Who's forcing the poor to order Big Macs? Or to eat twelve of them?
    Middle aged lawyer #2: If you believe you're correct, why don't you try living on a restricted budget and food stamps?
    Middle aged lawyer #1: If my budget was so restricted, I might stop at the first Big Mac instead of ordering a dozen. And nice way to divert from the issue, which is that America's poor are obviously not starving.
    Female court reporter: That's right. It's the middle class that's starving because they're not getting government checks and food stamps.
    Middle aged lawyer #2, with air of condescension, shaking head: How compassionate of you.
    Middle aged lawyer #1: I'm very compassionate. I'm just not an enabler. I'm making a simple logical argument: fat people are not starving.
    Middle aged lawyer #2, shaking head: Mere words do you no justice.
    (the door to the room opens, and in comes the witness, an obese black teenager holding a McDonald's bag. The smell of french fries fills the room).
    Middle aged lawyer #1: Were you listening outside the door?
    Confused teen: No.
    LOL OPERATIONS
  27. #4827
    So our bathroom ceiling is covered in mould, so I was cleaning that off today and the water must've dripped down the walls. The light's currently on, if you flick the switch to off the light stays on. If you then flick the switch back to on again you get a nice electric shock.
  28. #4828
    Do not touch it again, and call electrician ASAP

    Electricity is one of the last things in the whole wide world you wanna mess with if you don't know what you're doing
  29. #4829
    tomato paste carnage's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by boost View Post
    mmmm thick white chicks...

    Tilt is poker cancer. You catch it, you die.
  30. #4830
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    Do not touch it again, and call electrician ASAP

    Electricity is one of the last things in the whole wide world you wanna mess with if you don't know what you're doing
    I've put insulation tape over the whole switch thing (largely 'cause I don't trust my flatmates not to decide to play with it standing barefoot in a puddle of water) and I'm just gonna wait it out and see if letting it dry or whatever has an effect, before calling an electrician.
  31. #4831
    No, you need to get an expert opinion. At least find a message board with people who understand the related professions, and ask for input. You could easily have something else going that you don't see, the electroshock could easily not be from the water you thought you got on it, and if it is, it could easily be a trigger that causes other problems.

    It's one thing to not get a professional opinion about things that don't really matter, but an entirely different thing when it comes to something that can kill you. Especially with electroshock. If you experience electroshock in a situation where you're not supposed to, you're in a VERY serious situation. Even if that particular scenario is benign, you don't know this without a professional opinion.

    Risk/reward. The probability may be low that this is a real issue, but the risk of being wrong is ridiculously, ridiculously high
  32. #4832
    ALWAYS be EXTREMELY cautious when dealing with shit like this. Electricity, fire, guns, cars even. DO NOT FUCK WITH THIS SHIT. If you think I'm wrong, go on /b/ and ask them to show you all the gifs of tards burning their faces off because they fucked with this incredibly dangerous stuff. Just because it's in your home doesn't mean the wrong move won't kill you yesterday
  33. #4833
    I promise I'm not underestimating it As I said, when I first discovered it I covered the shit out of it with insulation tape to prevent any further accidents, and that's just gonna have to do until the world comes to life tomorrow between 9am and 5pm at which point I'll try and get something done about it. The randomness thread seemed like a place to tell the anecdote as a fun story, but believe me, growing up with a physicist for a father I don't take electricity lightly, and am annoyed with myself for not thinking about it as I splashed water round the place.
  34. #4834
    I appreciate the concern though.
  35. #4835
    JKDS's Avatar
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    Dont die kiwi. If you died, it would be hard to find a replacement poster with an avatar that had such a beautiful banana colored pole like in yours :'(
  36. #4836
    Quote Originally Posted by JKDS View Post
    Dont die kiwi. If you died, it would be hard to find a replacement poster with an avatar that had such a beautiful banana colored pole like in yours :'(
    How do you not recognize your own mother?

    In case you're slow, I just called your mother a pole

    In case you're even slower, I like your mama jokes

    In case you're annoyed, just rest assured that your mother is a terrible lay. All she did was complain about how much I was hurting her
  37. #4837
  38. #4838
    Quote Originally Posted by kiwiMark View Post
    I promise I'm not underestimating it As I said, when I first discovered it I covered the shit out of it with insulation tape to prevent any further accidents
    You also turned off the breaker/pulled the fuse, yes? If not, it's a good idea in future and won't result in you burning your face off...quite the opposite, in fact.

    Wufwugy's melodrama encourages me to take this opportunity to promote learning how to fucking be a man, in particular a self-sustained man. Learn about electricity and plumbing, so much so that you can do the simple shit yourself and know how to not kill yourself. If you have the room and are given the chance, learn how to do simple maintenance on your car or other small engines. Learn how to fish and grow food. CHOP SOME GODDAMN WOOD!

    Some of you here are metrosexual babies who pay too much for people with real skills to help you do simple shit. Beyond the face value of knowing how to perform these tasks, you'll also learn analytical and problem solving skills that will exercise your brain and spill over into other important shit.

    Thanks. Now back to your regularly scheduled lives.
    Last edited by BennyLaRue; 06-08-2010 at 08:55 AM.
  39. #4839
    BooG690's Avatar
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    LOL @ dying from a loose wire in a switch. I'm with BennyLaRue. Grow some fucking balls and learn to play with wires.

    Oh yeah...and get to the circuit breaker.
    That's how winners play; we convince the other guy he's making all the right moves.
  40. #4840
    Quote Originally Posted by BuFu690 View Post
    LOL @ dying from a loose wire in a switch. I'm with BennyLaRue. Grow some fucking balls and learn to play with wires.

    Oh yeah...and get to the circuit breaker.

    I agree with benny, but only to an extent. If you dont currently posses skills in electricity.. then Id either call an electrician or find an electrical forum and post detailed pictures as I go and follow their advice. Sure you might fix it so that it doesnt shock you, but even scarier than getting electrocuted is electrical fires. These are far more deadly because they spread through the walls first, and by the time smoke alarms go off, or you wake up the fire is raging and may only have seconds to think fast and gtfo.
  41. #4841
    BooG690's Avatar
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    I'm not advising that Kiwi attempt to fix it himself. I'm suggesting he learn a bit about electricity, wires, and how they work to avoid this problem in the future.

    I worked with electricians and plumbers before and that is how I learned. However, I don't know how one without that resource would go about learning. Meh...
    That's how winners play; we convince the other guy he's making all the right moves.
  42. #4842
    XTR1000's Avatar
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    i dont believe in electricity.
    Quote Originally Posted by bigred View Post
    xtr stand for exotic tranny retards
    yo
  43. #4843
    Quote Originally Posted by boost View Post
    I agree with benny, but only to an extent.
    Nah, you agree with me entirely then. I don't suggest poking around with electricity in order TO learn. I advocate learning, then doing.
  44. #4844
    Naw, my advice is perfect. 100% fact that you do not want to screw around with surprise electricity, and should only continue after you understand what you're doing.

    The whole learning how to do-it-yourself thing is an entirely different issue I never addressed. Simply knowing how to turn off the circuit breaker is about 5x ahead of the pack
  45. #4845
    A thing about me, though, is that safety first is an issue I will never ever budge on. It's something my father taught me, and the fact that I've seen every video ever caught of people ignoring safety and abysmally ruining their lives....
  46. #4846
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    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy
    Naw, my advice is perfect.
    Suck on that!

    There is a huge difference between fiddling with your plumbing and fiddling with live wiring. The former is the domain of a man; you bring water to your family. The flow of electrons, however... I'd rather just burn the cash and get someone with a close to 0% chance of electrocuting him/herself.
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  47. #4847
    YOU ALL AREN'T MY REAL DAD
















    fucking caps filter
  48. #4848
    tHIS IS HOW THE REAL PROS DO CAPS
  49. #4849
    a500lbgorilla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kiwiMark View Post
    YOU ALL AREN'T MY REAL DAD
















    fucking caps filter
    YOUR MOM WAS CALLING ME DADDY ALL NIGHT!

    fucking stealth lowercaps
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  50. #4850
    Also for the record, I'm probably more metro-fag than all of you, but given my dad's a (safety paranoid) physicist and I'm a nerd who enjoyed playing with electronics a lot as a kid, I think I already have the basic electrical knowledge you guys feel I should learn. Especially with advice such as from that douche bufu, "learn enough about wires so you know how to make this not happen again" after I explained that it happened from me absent-mindedly splashing water into circuitry.

    re: circuit breakers, this is quite an old house and they're split up not by room but rather by category ("lighting", "heating", etc.) and since we've got exams at the moment one of my flatmates really didn't want to be without light at all last night, so's he could get his nerd-panic-study on. Now that it's daylight, the breaker's off.

    I don't know much about plumbing, though.
  51. #4851
    BooG690's Avatar
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    Still playing this game, eh Kiwi? :P
    That's how winners play; we convince the other guy he's making all the right moves.
  52. #4852
    a500lbgorilla's Avatar
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    Thrust on, you crazy diamond!

    edit lol at automatic link title
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  53. #4853
    Moldova is awesome.

    I saw a Moldovan Airlines plane once. It was actually a truck but it seems no one told them.
  54. #4854
    omg strasburg
  55. #4855
    Quote Originally Posted by fjuanl View Post
    omg strasburg
    He's alright.
  56. #4856
    Quote Originally Posted by fjuanl View Post
    omg strasburg
    Holy. Shit.

    Impressive performance, this kid's going to be fun to watch.


  57. #4857
    impressive but the Pirates are awful and have scored the 2nd least runs this season so far at just over 3/game
  58. #4858
    a500lbgorilla's Avatar
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    Wait, did the Pirates do something in baseball?
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  59. #4859
    Jack Sawyer's Avatar
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    And they also took Bryce Harper. Switching him from C to OF is ridic imo, but hey, whatever. The nationals will become a force to be reckoned with in the coming years imo.


    Edit: Baseball Video Highlights & Clips | PIT@WSH: Strasburg fans 14 in his MLB debut - Video | MLB.com: Multimedia

    LOLdamn, absolutely positively filthy break on that ball holy shit
    Last edited by Jack Sawyer; 06-08-2010 at 11:58 PM.
    My dream... is to fly... over the rainbow... so high...


    Cogito ergo sum

    VHS is like a book? and a book is like a stack of kindles.
    Hey, I'm in a movie!
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  60. #4860
    DropTheBanana's Avatar
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    You crazy FTR'ers! This is OP...you might remember me from such threads as "Drunk Thread" or my epic plot to kill off my fellow remaining werewolf in attempt to save myself.

    I haven't been playing much poker since a lot of my time (and money) is consumed with engagement stuff, work, and being to lazy. I forgot my password and the email I had linked to FTR so I just made a new one. Hope thats cool.
  61. #4861
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    Quote Originally Posted by DropTheBanana View Post
    You crazy FTR'ers! This is OP...you might remember me from such threads as "Drunk Thread" or my epic plot to kill off my fellow remaining werewolf in attempt to save myself.

    I haven't been playing much poker since a lot of my time (and money) is consumed with engagement stuff, work, and being to lazy. I forgot my password and the email I had linked to FTR so I just made a new one. Hope thats cool.
    I so hope that someone now logs in on the real OP login and claims to be the real OP. You could argue it between yourselves and it would be like a real life warewolf game.

    lynch op
    I'm the king of bongo, baby I'm the king of bongo bong.
  62. #4862
    a500lbgorilla's Avatar
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    Refuse.

    lynch OP

    10 more votes for a ban.
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  63. #4863
    lynch op

    I've no time for anybody coming back on here saying "remember me guys, I'm sooooo epic".
  64. #4864
    Must have had the worst wake-up ever. At around 7:30 I feel this heavy stingy pain in my left hand thumb. In my drowsy sleepy state it registered at first like some kind of cramp. So I turn a bit, then get out of bed, twisting my hand to make it go away. But it won't. The pain is abnormal and keeps up so finally I wake up fully, realizing something weird is going on. And then I see the culprit. A wasp has fled back to my window (which was slightly opened). But not just a regular wasp. A huge monstrosity that you would expect to see in Jurassic Park, not in real life!

    Not the actual thing, but to give you an idea:


    Normally I'm not even scared of wasps at all, while other people usually run when one is close, I stay pretty cool. I grab a towel, standard tool for slapping dead such a thing. But this thing is so huge it actually looks more like you need to kill an animal instead of an insect! When it starts moving again I instinctively flee out to the hall. I wasn't wearing much so I snatch up some clothes and put them on to cover as much of my skin as I can while complaining about it to some people that were coming by. I go back in, still pretty much blinded by pain, but couldn't find it. Really looks like it went back out even though there wasn't much opening to do so (or come in for that matter).

    Call the doctor, he says to take painkillers and that just deinfecting should suffice but to come over at 9 anyway. I end up not going because the painkillers knock me out and I wake up way later.

    I later talk about it with some guy. A few days ago I had actually seen one of these huge wasps before, and he told me he had too and had been totally freaked out about them. Must be some kind of nest in the building idk. Good thing it didn't swell much, in the afternoon the pain started to become tolerable and looks I've regained use of my left hand too now.
  65. #4865
    rong's Avatar
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    I actually feel a little sick just looking at the picture
    I'm the king of bongo, baby I'm the king of bongo bong.
  66. #4866
    JKDS's Avatar
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    KILL IT WITH FIRE
    stealth caps
  67. #4867
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    Quote Originally Posted by JKDS View Post
    KILL IT WITH FIRE
    stealth caps
    And a can of deoderant
    I'm the king of bongo, baby I'm the king of bongo bong.
  68. #4868
    a500lbgorilla's Avatar
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    himself fucker.
    YouTube - Basic Insect Anatomy - Asian Giant Hornet Suzumebachi

    edit lol at fleeing into the hall. I've been there.
    <a href=http://i.imgur.com/kWiMIMW.png target=_blank>http://i.imgur.com/kWiMIMW.png</a>
  69. #4869
    a500lbgorilla's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
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    28,082
    Location
    himself fucker.
    Wait, where do you live?
    <a href=http://i.imgur.com/kWiMIMW.png target=_blank>http://i.imgur.com/kWiMIMW.png</a>
  70. #4870
    Quote Originally Posted by DanAronG View Post
    And a can of deoderant
    Good read you got on me. I omitted it from the story but that was my new weapon when I went back inside haha. (although without the fire it might just piss it off more)

    Btw it wasn't an Asian Hornet, but a normal looking wasp of that size as the one in the picture (prolly a bit smaller). I have my camera recharged if any of em ever come back again I'm snapping a pic of it. Alive, and dead.
    Last edited by jackvance; 06-09-2010 at 06:46 PM.
  71. #4871
    Quote Originally Posted by jackvance View Post
    I have my camera recharged if any of em ever come back again I'm snapping a pic of it. Alive, and dead.
    gl pressing the camera button after it's already killed you!
  72. #4872
    a500lbgorilla's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Posts
    28,082
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    himself fucker.
    Quote Originally Posted by jackvance View Post
    Good read you got on me. I omitted it from the story but that was my new weapon when I went back inside haha. (although without the fire it might just piss it off more)

    Btw it wasn't an Asian Hornet, but a normal looking wasp of that size as the one in the picture (prolly a bit smaller). I have my camera recharged if any of em ever come back again I'm snapping a pic of it. Alive, and dead.
    Where do you live? I need lat-long coordinates to call in an air-stri... an air show.
    <a href=http://i.imgur.com/kWiMIMW.png target=_blank>http://i.imgur.com/kWiMIMW.png</a>
  73. #4873
    Quote Originally Posted by kiwiMark View Post
    gl pressing the camera button after it's already killed you!
    lmao..

    Quote Originally Posted by a500lbgorilla View Post
    Where do you live? I need lat-long coordinates to call in an air-stri... an air show.
    Good old Belgium. It's such a tiny country, I'm in the building on the 3rd floor.
  74. #4874
    Belgium's the name I gave to my left nut

    small world
  75. #4875
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    Belgium's the name I gave to my left nut

    small world
    small nut

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