Randomness thread, part two.

[bigred]

But in fairness, your idiocy is random, like in the sense that intelligence is random

[bigred]

I disagree with the above posts but they make sense

[spoonitnow]

Alright so here was my idea for proposing to my chick, but I decided not to do it. I'm sharing this here in case someone wants to make use of it.

So I'll be gone and she'll be at the house, and I'll call her and say some shit like, "Hey I need you to do something and not ask questions. Bring me X shovel from downstairs and a change of clothes for me. Bring it to X park down in the woods behind Y. Let me know when you're close." So she'd totally do it because she's completely down for me, and then I'd have a friend pose as this guy I killed or whatever, and I was going to bury the body (which is why I needed the shovel). I start digging and tell her to go through the dude's pockets, and the ring box would be in like his back pocket or whatever. She'd find it, open it and then the alleged dead guy would start laughing and I'd start laughing and she'd be all like WHAT THE FUCK THIS IS NOT FUNNY. What's even better is that I'd be secretly recording the whole thing without her knowledge and play it unexpectedly (for her) at the wedding.

[wufwugy]

i would dump you for that

pranks make me want to murder baby jesus

[BooG690]

i would dump you for that

pranks make me want to murder baby jesus

So you're a pussy?

Jokes aside,

...,

...nope, you're just a pussy.

[BooG690]

Nah, kidding, Wuf is the next FTR fucker I'd have a brew with...then start yelling at when arguing student loans.

[wufwugy]

basically

call it a family quirk. it isnt so much being a pussy, but hating being tricked or frightened. true hate.

[wufwugy]

i cant hear you on account of all this debt stuck in my ears.

[OngBonga]

I like how spoon assumes the wedding will be going ahead. I admire that optimism.

[wufwugy]

you dont propose unless you already know the answer.

[spoonitnow]

I like how spoon assumes the wedding will be going ahead. I admire that optimism.

Of course it would. There's no reason why it wouldn't.

[surviva316]

I think there needs to be a bigred randomness thread cause none of this shit is interesting

I myself was wondering what the fuck's going on here. Last time I was here, it was like reaching its tipping point, but still had a solid 30-50% of randomness. Now it's just like a quarantine thread where we go to argue our pet issues.

[surviva316]

What's even better is that I'd be secretly recording the whole thing without her knowledge and play it unexpectedly (for her) at the wedding.

I keep a little notebook at my desk I open every time I log into FTR or IRC that I call my Book of Spoon. It's next to my little biscuit tin that I keep your panties in. I'm actually currently running out of space, so if anyone's looking for belated birthday ideas for me, I need something larger than a moleskine.

Every time I get stuck in a story, or feel like my cast is too monochromatic or dichotomous, I flip through and wonder, "What would spoon think? What would his mother say if she were in the room for this conversation? If I were to force his Halo-obsessed brother to come to this event, what would he do?" Etc.

The technique never fails. Ever.

[surviva316]

My daffodils have finally sprung from the icy twat-sucking soil:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R0AqE9dapV0

[BooG690]

I myself was wondering what the fuck's going on here. Last time I was here, it was like reaching it's tipping point, but still had a solid 30-50% of randomness. Now it's just like a quarantine thread where we go to argue our pet issues.

This is probably Wuf's fault.

[a500lbgorilla]

My daffodils have finally sprung from the icy twat-sucking soil:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R0AqE9dapV0

My carefree daisies are growing strong.

[surviva316]

How are your whoopsie daisies doing?

[a500lbgorilla]

I have a hard time telling them apart from the rest.

[BooG690]

How are your whoopsie daisies doing?

[BooG690]

Peep how violence is glorified in the ghetto community. Tis a shitty casino around here in NYC (a ghetto part of Queens, specifically).

News article to go along with it: http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/...icle-1.2173208

[spoonitnow]

Violence is the ultimate form of power in the world, and I think it should be glorified and respected more than it is.

[OngBonga]

Violence is the ultimate form of power in the world, and I think it should be glorified and respected more than it is.

It won't always be the ultimate form of power. One day we'll move forwards. For now we're still monkeys.

Chuck me a banana.

[OngBonga]

[MadMojoMonkey]

It won't always be the ultimate form of power. One day we'll move forwards. For now we're still monkeys.

Chuck me a banana.

[spoonitnow]

I'm very interested in the idea of OngBonga starting a business helping people in some way. He seems like the kind of guy who is motivated more by helping people than money. I'd be willing to offer assistance in getting that off of the ground.

[surviva316]

I'm very interested in the idea of OngBonga starting a business helping people in some way. He seems like the kind of guy who is motivated more by helping people than money. I'd be willing to offer assistance in getting that off of the ground.

If I had to guess, he's motivated by nothing to do nothing, but when it comes to talking about doing stuff, expressing an interest in helping people sounds nicer than money.

Not that I really know enough about anything to type the words that I'm typing, but sounds like the combination of words that's most likely to get FTR's approval.

[OngBonga]

I'm not that interested in helping people. I'm far too selfish. Other people tend to get on my nerves. My perfect existence would be to live in the countryside with a dog or two, playing poker or growing weed, far away from the nearest city. I'm shit at poker, and growing weed is illegal. I'm out of ideas. I'm happy enough doing nothing, waiting for the law to never change.

[BooG690]

I'm very interested in the idea of OngBonga starting a business helping people in some way. He seems like the kind of guy who is motivated more by helping people than money. I'd be willing to offer assistance in getting that off of the ground.

Which OngBonga are you talking about?

[surviva316]

Peep how violence is glorified in the ghetto community.

Now of course I want peace on the streets
But realistically
Painting perfect pictures ain't never work
My misery was so deep
Couldn't sleep through all my pressures
In my quest for cash
I learned fast
Using violent measures
Memories of adolescent years
There was unity
But after puberty we brought war
To our community
So many bodies dropping
It's gotta stop
I want to help
But still I'm stepping
Keeping my weapon
Must protect myself
The promise of a better tomorrow ain't never reach me
Plus my teachers were too petrified in class to teach me
Sipping thunderbird
And grape kool-aid
Calling Earl since my stomach was empty
It seduced me to fuck the world
Watch my li'l homies
Lose there childhood to guns
Nobody cries no more
Cause we all die for fun
So why you ask me if I want peace
If you can't grant it
Niggas fighting across the whole planet
So there can never be peace

Will there ever be peace?
Or all we all just headed for doom,
Still consumed by the beefs,
And I know there'll never be peace,
That's why I keep my pistol when I walk the streets
'Cause there can never be peace

Somebody owes me
Will they control me?, nah
I ain't a hater playa
But I want all you got
Your babies have babies
Now we fighting each other
My dogs got rabies
They biting each other
And it ain't hard to find a friend like mine
Big fully is a bully
And he don't mind dying
And I gotta be bright
Miss sign after sign
Time after time
After time after time
And I don't like nobody
They don't like me more
And I'm cool with that finally
But they heard it before
Dog
We living in a prison
Losing our religion on 'em
Thanks given when thankful just for living in hell
Damn homey I don't mean to be harsh
But it's the devil in the ghetto trying to tear it apart
And if we make it up out
We still stuck in the dark
Will there ever be peace?
Just the peace in my heart
Never

The only peace we got
Is the peace in our heart
Or the peace in our mind
Right there in piece that we hold in our waste line
Feel me dog?
C'mon

Will there ever be peace?
Or all we all just headed for doom,
Still consumed by the beefs,
And I know there'll never be peace, (never)
That's why I keep my pistol when I walk the streets
'Cause there can never be peace

Things are changing
Nigga you better fantasize
I'm only concerned about me and mine in these times
The world is a ghetto where peace is not a part of it
We all gon' need God if we plan to get out of this
Niggas spending too much time hating on each other
Niggas buyin' guns
Load em up
Aim at each other
And the victim is you and me
The secret is true indeed
The good die
Mostly over bullshit
Repeatedly
Deep in me there's a part that wants nothing but love
But the rest of me knows war is what's waiting for us
So I stays ready
Keep my pay heavy and boss up
Stack my funds and my guns
Never rely on luck
Asking God to point out the imposters
Never let no weapon formed against me prosper
Cause they'll never be peace
So don't rely on it
Soldiers die for
And in the ghetto, they trying for it
FUCK PEACE

Will there ever be peace?
Or all we all just headed for doom,
Still consumed by the beefs,
And I know there'll never be peace,
That's why I keep my pistol when I walks the streets
'Cause there can never be peace

Shit, fuck peace
On the strength 'til my niggas get a piece
We cant have peace
How the fuck we gonna live happy if we ain't got none?
You motherfuckers is smiling, but I'm mean mugging
Why? Cause gotta be thugging
I've seen drugs done turned this motherfucking hood out
All us niggas acting up
Wild ass motherfucking adolescents
These niggas ain't even got no childhoods no more
How the fuck can you have a childhood and you have a funeral every motherfucking weekend
And you motherfuckers talking about peace?
Nigga, it ain't no motherfucking peace
You ain't seen the news motherfucker?
You ain't heard?
Little babies getting smoked
Motherfuckers killing their whole family
Li'l kids getting thrown off buildings
Motherfuckers gettin abused
Peace? Niggas you out your motherfucking mind?
Fuck peace
We can't never have peace, 'til you motherfuckers clean up this mess you made
'Til u fucking clean up the dirt u dropped
'Til we get a piece
Fuck peace
Westside

[surviva316]

I'm not that interested in helping people. I'm far too selfish. Other people tend to get on my nerves. My perfect existence would be to live in the countryside with a dog or two, playing poker or growing weed, far away from the nearest city. I'm shit at poker, and growing weed is illegal. I'm out of ideas. I'm happy enough doing nothing, waiting for the law to never change.

Is there no movement toward weed being legal in UK?

I realize that I'm asking this at the risk of starting a huge yawnfesting "fuck pot laws" grumble in the randomness thread.

[OngBonga]

Don't worry, I'm tired of beating that drum too. I don't think the laws are going to change in my lifetime. I remember thinking 15 years ago that in ten years time it'll probably be legal. We seem to be in that same place now. What do the govt do when one of their advisors suggests legalising it? They sack him. They have no interest in legalising it. That's not gonna stop me smoking it, but it'll sure make me think carefully about growing.

[surviva316]

Don't worry, I'm tired of beating that drum too. I don't think the laws are going to change in my lifetime. I remember thinking 15 years ago that in ten years time it'll probably be legal. We seem to be in that same place now. What do the govt do when one of their advisors suggests legalising it? They sack him. They have no interest in legalising it. That's not gonna stop me smoking it, but it'll sure make me think carefully about growing.

Wow. So how are you gonna feel when there's an issue that's so central to your lifestyle and essence where the US actually has a more progressive and less puritanical approach?

Surely whenever you take some bitchy jab at the states, someone will be able to jump in and be like, "Yeah, but at least we can smoke weed here without being {insert thesaurus buzzwords for oppress, swine, tyrannical, etc}," and you will have no choice but to mash your face into the keyboard until the dissonance in your cognition and abyss in your chest is somehow resolved and filled (respectively, ldo), which of course they never are, so a week later, the Daily Mail runs the headline "Welfare Queen Found Half-Rotted in His Apartment after Meeting His Senseless, Face-Mashing End."

Well, I guess I ended up answering that question for you, now didn't I?

[jackvance]

You can still grow weed, it being illegal means you can look forward to a good profit margin.

[OngBonga]

Wow. So how are you gonna feel when there's an issue that's so central to your lifestyle and essence where the US actually has a more progressive and less puritanical approach?

Surely whenever you take some bitchy jab at the states, someone will be able to jump in and be like, "Yeah, but at least we can smoke weed here without being {insert thesaurus buzzwords for oppress, swine, tyrannical, etc}," and you will have no choice but to mash your face into the keyboard until the dissonance in your cognition and abyss in your chest is somehow resolved and filled (respectively, ldo), which of course they never are, so a week later, the Daily Mail runs the headline "Welfare Queen Found Half-Rotted in His Apartment after Meeting His Senseless, Face-Mashing End."

Well, I guess I ended up answering that question for you, now didn't I?

I don't need to have any moral high ground on which to stand, when I slap down the Yanks.

[OngBonga]

You can still grow weed, it being illegal means you can look forward to a good profit margin.

A lower profit margin can be balanced out with higher output, without the risk of prison.

[spoonitnow]

Which OngBonga are you talking about?

The Persian one, not the Iranian one. <3

[spoonitnow]

Anyone recommend any good tycoon-style games?

[BooG690]

Go outside and open a lemonade stand, noob.

[spoonitnow]

Go outside and open a lemonade stand, noob.

ALLAH

[Galapogos]

I'm very interested in the idea of OngBonga starting a business helping people in some way. He seems like the kind of guy who is motivated more by helping people than money.

Awful read, I'm gonna want my money back for those poker coaching lessons now.

Edit: or maybe I whooshed on a troll p[srt. Fuck it, bed time.

Edit 2: That uglyword should be "post". Not "sport" or "shirt".

[spoonitnow]

I'm very interested in the idea of OngBonga starting a business helping people in some way. He seems like the kind of guy who is motivated more by helping people than money. I'd be willing to offer assistance in getting that off of the ground.

Sorry for the confusion, but to clarify, this was a joke.

[OngBonga]

Sorry for the confusion, but to clarify, this was a joke.

It was mostly obvious, but if I come firing with "fuck off troll" then you claim to be serious and I look like a dick for being rude to someone seemingly being kind. I don't really give a fuck about getting trolled, it amuses me too.

[jackvance]

A lower profit margin can be balanced out with higher output, without the risk of prison.

But if it's legal you'll have to compete with corporations.

[a500lbgorilla]

I'm very interested in the idea of OngBonga starting a business helping people in some way. He seems like the kind of guy who is motivated more by helping people than money. I'd be willing to offer assistance in getting that off of the ground.

Sorry for the confusion, but to clarify, this was a joke.

[OngBonga]

But if it's legal you'll have to compete with corporations.

I've had this discussion with keith. Corporations are primarily interested in profit. They'll go large scale. They'll use pesticides to fend off mites, they'll use cheaper nutrients, they'll have larger crops that are more difficult for the growers to maintain... I won't touch the corporations when it comes to quantity, but I'll have better quality and will be able to sell, albeit at a lower price than the curent black market price. The premium weed will be coming from small time growers whose motivation is quality, not quantity. Sure they'll outcompete me when it comes to the biggest slice of the market, but I could make a living so long as the price doesn't crash too much. Even at £50 an ounce, it's a high value crop, and that's 25% street prices. I don't mind competition, I'm not looking to make millions. I just want an income, preferably a legal income.

keith points out that if it were legal, then anyone could do it. That's a valid point, but it's not as easy as people tend to think. There's a lot that can go wrong, especially if you don't have enough time to look after it properly. Most people will do their first one while still working, and it'll be too much for them. They'll get a substandard crop and will lose motivation.

If it were legal, I'd have a business plan within hours, seeking loans to get me up and running.

[a500lbgorilla]

This forum should support .gifv.

http://i.imgur.com/kUB37Bl.gifv

[daven]

you dont propose unless you already know the answer.

so this one time a girl proposed to me
my response was to laugh, and then not notice her tone when she asked
'why are you laughing?'
and to instead answer with more laughter and
'you're obviously taking the piss. you cannot be serious!'

oops.
guess i read that situation all wrong.

fast forward a year or so and we'd eventually broken up and i was somehow cruising on a yacht with her mafia dad somewhere in south america and an image of concrete encased flashed through my mind

all's well that ends well

[surviva316]

http://i.imgur.com/kUB37Bl.gifv

Aaaaaand I'm dead. I have died.

[spoonitnow]

I know there's no poker in the commune etc., but I'm not sure if you all know that I've had a weekly strategy column here on FTR for about the past two years. I took a couple of hours yesterday to put together a complete listing of all of the strategy columns themselves in order of date (along with links to the discussion threads), and it was a massive pain in the ass to put all of that together since it's not exactly neatly listed anywhere and required a lot of Googling. Here's the link if you want to take a look: http://www.flopturnriver.com/pokerfo...gy-198959.html

[eugmac]

so sweden has mixed gender public toilets, and usa and canada has hysteria over which room transgender people should use.

[eugmac]

i tried kopi luwak yesterday. it's cat shit coffee, look it up. it's the most disappointing thing ever and apparently animals get held in captivity in really cruel conditions to make it. it's a totally unnecessary scam, so here's my official endorsement of a boycott.

[spoonitnow]

so sweden has mixed gender public toilets, and usa and canada has hysteria over which room transgender people should use.

We're headed that way now. I don't like the invasion of all-male spaces by females.

[MadMojoMonkey]

This forum should support .gifv.

http://i.imgur.com/kUB37Bl.gifv

I didn't know we had video coverage of the last WW game!

[BooG690]

From Reddit:

The thing about Monty Python is... sigh OK, it's kind of like the comedic equivalent of the Beatles. Of course it's OK not to like the Beatles but you have to admit that they did things with pop music that hadn't been done before. The same is true of the Pythons: there hadn't been overtly abstract/existential ideas and the breaking of the fourth wall in comedy until they came along in '69. They invented many of the standard sketch show tropes that we still see on TV today.

For what it's worth, I find it really funny.

[rong]

What do you guys make of people doing fun stuff to raise money for charity where part of the money they raise is spent on the fun thing they end up doing.

For example I just heard about a bike ride from one coast of Costa Rica to the other. Takes 8 days, encompasses mountains, volcanos, rain forest. Looks lots of fun.

You have to raise min £3k for charity, approx £1,200 of which pays for the costs of the trip with the rest going to charity.

On the one hand, if you do it that charity gets a chunk of cash they otherwise wouldn't so they're better off, and you get a fun adventure.

But on the other hand you're taking advantage of a situation where by a charity needs funds and you're spunking some of them on an adventure holiday. If you really wanted to help the charity you'd just give them all the cash and nit do the activity.

You could also argue that the somewhat extreme nature of the activity is what convinces people to donate, but then the fact that you enjoy the activity is what makes it controversial. So if the activity was truly awful it would suddenly be ok? Or at least it would be the people donating who should feel guilty instead.

So are they in bad taste or not? From an ethical perspective.

[wufwugy]

i dont think it is ethically wrong for charities to receive less funding because i dont think charities help anybody.

unless, of course, they're not charities and instead are programs that reduce the utility for charity.

[wufwugy]

^^^doesn't have to be true of all charities or even most. some inadvertently contribute to poverty traps, is all.

[OngBonga]

How long does it take to walk across Costa Rica? That sounds more fun. Fuck cycling up a mountain.

[a500lbgorilla]

You earn the trip by doing the leg work to raise the funds. It's on the same level as multi-level marketing, though.

[JKDS]

I think its still good and a win for charity, but by taking funds you lose the right to be uppity about it.

"I was paid to collect money for charity” or "I collect money for a living" is not generosity. Depending on work ethic, I'd actually find it despicable (like if they were paid hourly and slacked off a lot).

Like, Charity is supposed to be doing what you can in your free time to help people. Paying for your own flights, trips, tools, etc. But Siphoning funds is taking money to help you, when it could have fed some homeless.

Sure, you gotta eat. Taking care of number 1 is important. But thats not any more noble than any other job st that point

[JKDS]

Its honestly just a good fund raising idea for the trip itself. Ppl are more likely to support your bike trip if you donate some of the money to something.

[spoonitnow]

What do you guys make of people doing fun stuff to raise money for charity where part of the money they raise is spent on the fun thing they end up doing.

For example I just heard about a bike ride from one coast of Costa Rica to the other. Takes 8 days, encompasses mountains, volcanos, rain forest. Looks lots of fun.

You have to raise min £3k for charity, approx £1,200 of which pays for the costs of the trip with the rest going to charity.

On the one hand, if you do it that charity gets a chunk of cash they otherwise wouldn't so they're better off, and you get a fun adventure.

But on the other hand you're taking advantage of a situation where by a charity needs funds and you're spunking some of them on an adventure holiday. If you really wanted to help the charity you'd just give them all the cash and nit do the activity.

You could also argue that the somewhat extreme nature of the activity is what convinces people to donate, but then the fact that you enjoy the activity is what makes it controversial. So if the activity was truly awful it would suddenly be ok? Or at least it would be the people donating who should feel guilty instead.

So are they in bad taste or not? From an ethical perspective.

I think that incentives like this are great.

[daven]

Corporations are primarily interested in profit. They'll go large scale.

I'll have better quality and will be able to sell

keith points out that if it were legal, then anyone could do it.

i'd back ong to find a niche and exploit it

my guess is bored and wealthy stay-at-home mums who profess 'natural/organic' tendencies
now i've gone and forgotten exactly what service ong plans to sell, but my point stands

[aubreymcfate]

Anyone who believes that kind of charity is unethical is 99% of the time a huge hypocrite. The only way they wouldn't be is if they lived an ascetic lifestyle and spent the absolute bare minimum on clothing/shelter and gave the rest to charity.

But we don't do that. Most of us spend the money we earn on giving ourselves a desirable quality of life. To feel guilty about trying to reconcile enjoyment with charity is pointless, and means nothing to the people you're trying to help.

Also, I would imagine you would end up giving more money to that charity than you would if you were just donating from your computer screen. It would probably be psychologically easier to give more money when it's invested in something that you're personally benefiting from to that extent. Giving more should be the end goal.

[rong]

But you don't give any money. You just raise some by getting other people to donate and then use a portion of that for yourself and give the rest to charity.

I guess what you give us your time and effort and what you get is a free holiday.

[aubreymcfate]

Hm.. I guess I'm confused about how this thing actually works then.

[rong]

Here's how it works.

You pay a £399 admin fee to, in the case of the one I've been looking at, coast to coast adventure travel company.

You agree with a UK based charity of your choice to raise money for them and then to do bike ride. The minimum amount you have to raise is £3k.

You then raise money and give to charity.

The charity get invoiced by coast to coast company for all your costs including flights. This will be approx £1,500.

The charity get to keep the rest.

So effectively the money you've raised, ie the money you have convinced people to donate to your chosen charity, pays for your trip in its entirety aside from the £399 admin fee.

[rong]

Hence a perceived ethical ambiguity from my perspective.

[BooG690]

I could see the ethical ambiguity in it in terms of intentions but the trip is a net positive (as in positive vibes all around from the whole thing) so I'm all for it.

[eugmac]

Your doing the bike ride is what is raising the 1500 in the first place. If you don't do this trip, the charity gets 0. Where's the problem?

[OngBonga]

The problem is that raising money for charity shouldn't be fun. If instead of going to Costa Rica, you come to Kidderminster town centre and drink a sponsored pint of shit cider at my local pub, that would cost significantly less money, and would be significantly less enjoyable. There's no reason you can't raise as much money drinking a sponsored pint of shit cider in a shit town as opposed cycling across Costa Rica.

If that's too unenjoyable, there is a pub here that sells nice cider. But we're moving into "fun" territory here.

[OngBonga]

i'd back ong to find a niche and exploit it

my guess is bored and wealthy stay-at-home mums who profess 'natural/organic' tendencies
now i've gone and forgotten exactly what service ong plans to sell, but my point stands

I'd be more worried about the grannies who have spent the last 40 years growing tomatos.

And in my hypothetical job of growing weed, I'm not selling a service, I'm selling a product.

[a500lbgorilla]

The point of interest and why I said it's on the same level as pyramid schemes is when you have to turn to your friends and get them to fork over cash for your benefit. Will they know that some portion of the cash is going to finance this trip? Why would anyone agree when they could just give directly to the foundation and cut out the added gluttony of expense?

[rong]

Exactly.

[rong]

So will you guys sponsor me?