Search:

Honey rum and nothing.

*correction - Honey rum and spliff.

Yes! I knew there was a reason you're awesome. Spliff?

Hey shotty! I hope it's honey rum.

Here, slew means to rotate on an axis, slide or skid, or past tense of slay. I had to look it up to see that in Yankieland it's a fancy way of saying metric fuckton.

Who's fancy now?

wtf Americans say arsed?

George Best.

Tonight I am going to be drinking cider and vodka, and probably some beer too.

Yeah let's start quoting my favourite films.

Magnesium supplements are also wonderful for stopping jaw ache the day after boshing a load of pills.

So Cristiano isn't getting oilier, and I'm not getting more racist?

Is Cristiano Ronaldo getting oilier, or am I just getting more racist?

Not mardy, just being me. I don't care for either day. I don't need an excuse to get drunk, I either do it or I don't, regardless of what the date is. It's just a little confusing that everyone in...

Yeah this guy right, ages ago he banished all the snakes from this poxy country that nobody cares about, so let's all get drunk on dark curdled milk and bog standard whiskey in celebration.

St...

English people are stupid, we celebrate St Patrick's Day like it's fucking important, yet most don't even know who the English Patron Saint is, let alone when we celebrate it.

24k oz, I have to admit it would take me longer than 15 minutes to smoke such a quantity. I think I'd need a week at least.
Tipp-ex? Erm, no thanks.

My thoughts exactly.

I think wuf just likes Abba.

Also, apologies to flomo for his name rhyming with homo.

^triangular

Wuf wuf, oh wuffy wuf wuf,
You're such a puff,
Which in these parts means fucking homo,
Like flomo,
But supa,
You're super dupa,
Like a trooper,
I bet your missus is a whooper,
Oh supa...

When I get mad
And I get pissed
I grab my pen
And I write out a list
Of all the people
That won't be missed...
YOU'VE MADE MY SHITLIST

You'd be a cheap date.

I'm cracking a one litre bottle of smirnoff open very soon, things a-gonna get messy.

Happy New Year everyone, even you bikes.

Duck and guniea were the other two. My auntie wouldn't eat the duck because they're aw so cute. Pigs are cute too, but that doesn't stop her eating the sausage wrapped in bacon, naturally.

It's nearly 3pm, I'm on my second glass of wine, we're having dinner soon, and I'm sick to fucking death of Christmas music already.

Four dead birds for Christmas, turkey and pheasant, plus two...

http://i2.cdn.turner.com/money/galleries/2009/moneymag/0904/gallery.money100_spirits.moneymag/images/smirnoff.jpg

The reason my head hurts.

Dance with me cunts...

Atomic Blondie - YouTube

That pic of the Mask tilts the hell out of me. How old is this guy? I mean, I thought the Mask was funny when I was 13, but then I grew pubes and started watching decent films like Terminator and...