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  1. Replies
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    Alright. Boom. Done. Got everyone. Thanks for...

    Alright. Boom. Done. Got everyone. Thanks for having me, you sons of bitches. Now where do I collect my check?
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    Do you mean that in an existential sense? Thank...

    Do you mean that in an existential sense? Thank my parents.

    You're very welcome.
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    Shoreditch, brah. Thanks so much for reaching...

    Shoreditch, brah.

    Thanks so much for reaching out. Please, if our paths ever cross in London, do not hesitate to introduce yourself. It'd be an honor.
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    I actually didn't mind it at all. N.B. - I only...

    I actually didn't mind it at all. N.B. - I only watched one episode. I don't watch poker on TV. "Ain't nobody got time for that!"
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    Thanks, dude! I honestly think I was up against...

    Thanks, dude! I honestly think I was up against it in that club. 1) It was a musicians open mic night 2) They were expecting more with a camera crew there 3) All my material was about US/Britain...
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    After extensive research (turning my laptop...

    After extensive research (turning my laptop clockwise 90 degrees), I've determined your complimenting ability matches YOUR good looks.

    Which way is the private chat room?
  7. Replies
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    Hahaha, awesome name dude! Stars just decided...

    Hahaha, awesome name dude!

    Stars just decided they wanted to put their money into live streaming the EPTs this year. In my estimation, it does more to draw new viewers than something like...
  8. Replies
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    I'm out of town, working a gig in Mohegan Sun for...

    I'm out of town, working a gig in Mohegan Sun for the Deepstacks Poker Tour. Holler at Hartigan though. A lot.
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    I'd have to say Chapton/Van McBenza.

    I'd have to say Chapton/Van McBenza.
  10. Replies
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    "Painfully." he said to the girl who can't...

    "Painfully." he said to the girl who can't possibly be real.
  11. Replies
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    Still waiting on the directions to YOUR MOM'S...

    Still waiting on the directions to YOUR MOM'S HOUSE.

    KIDDING!

    But seriously though, I heard your Mom's alright.
  12. Replies
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    Uhm. I can't remember any specific hands, but I...

    Uhm. I can't remember any specific hands, but I once made up a fake poker charity tournament called "Put a Beat on Domestic Violence." Don't think I'd be too quick to shout that one out again.

    I...
  13. Replies
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    Did you hear the one about the Greek poker...

    Did you hear the one about the Greek poker player? He made a "Gyro" call.

    I only play while I'm waiting in line at customs to come back to the UK. It's the only time I ever think about it.

    I...
  14. Replies
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    -Norman Chad, Norm MacDonald (before he was in...

    -Norman Chad, Norm MacDonald (before he was in poker), David Spade, Dennis Miller, Most Extreme Elimination Challenge, Mystery Science Theater 3000

    -Given or gotten? I gave an interview to...
  15. Replies
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    Awesome. Thank you, and you're very welcome. I...

    Awesome. Thank you, and you're very welcome. I look back on H&S/TJITH as the best thing I've ever done. It makes my heart hurt.

    1) Scott and I try to work together all the time. We really do. ...
  16. Replies
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    In this order: Movies, drinking, tail chasing,...

    In this order:

    Movies, drinking, tail chasing, masturbation, eating, joke-writing. (That's just a typical Saturday for me)

    I think I would just get a better head start on the 90's. Things...
  17. Replies
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    Sure. Why not. I'd probably do any/all reality...

    Sure. Why not. I'd probably do any/all reality shows (schedule permitting) because I think anyone who knows me knows I would be doing it purely as a level. I wouldn't last very long on any show...
  18. Replies
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    I am really looking forward to the first...

    I am really looking forward to the first porn-parody of this situation.

    Liz Cheney or Lez Cheney? Are they the same? I don't know which one the straight one is. Also, who is Dick Cheney?
    ...
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    I really like Britain. They get a lot of things...

    I really like Britain. They get a lot of things right. It's pretty impressive considering they're one of the oldest countries on the planet, and they've got things pretty sweet over here. British...
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    I am a never-was comedy writer, turned...

    I am a never-was comedy writer, turned journalist, turned poker commentator. Poker player was never really part of the equation. The poker industry accidentally ended up feeding the stray dog that...
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    $.50/$1 No Limit in my various old apartments in...

    $.50/$1 No Limit in my various old apartments in Los Angeles. The kinds of games where everyone plays every hand and you're all trying to suck out on each other. It's not about the money, it's just...
  22. Replies
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    Wow. I will try not to make this a gushing fan...

    Wow. I will try not to make this a gushing fan letter.

    First of all, everyone, despite what he might make it seem like publicly, Norman Chad has been ridiculously supportive of my career. The...
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    I'm superstitious about karma and being a good...

    I'm superstitious about karma and being a good person. I don't believe in karma, exactly, but I think goodness begets goodness, so I always try to do the right thing. I make mistakes like everyone,...
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    I wish the current one didn't exist. $25 and a...

    I wish the current one didn't exist. $25 and a thirty minute wait for a cheeseburger that makes McDonald's look like Mastro's.
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    I've played a $1500 and a $1k. I made the dinner...

    I've played a $1500 and a $1k. I made the dinner break exactly 0 times. Granted, this was a while ago when I had so much worse of a grasp for poker, but honestly, I think these days I'd just go...
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