But you can list your excel skills on your resume.
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oh my gaaaaawd!
Each to their own. I like to be able to plan where I'll be at in a few months/few years though and an hour per month can be worth a few hundred quid per year to me in terms of additional interest gained and overdraft fees saved.
If you apply for a mortgage in the UK, you'll also want to have all of your outgoings analysed if you want to get the best deals on the market.
I'm actually very ok with the way the channel has developed. I'm about 30 min. into the thing and he already made the point that they have spawned so many nag-review channels that Plinkett now just feels like another one of them. re:view is exactly the opposite of that in that they focus on really good movies that have either been largely overlooked or are worth another mention. Half in the Bag balances ripping movies a new one with pointing out really excellent ones. And Best of the Worst is my favorite thing on Youtube ever.
I didn't really expect Plinkett to come back, but if I had to make a not so daring guess it would be that it's just to kill him off for good. Which I'm ok with.
So I got through the whole thing. Not as entertaining as the older ones. Probably because Mike Stoklasa got smarter since then. Rather than ripping the movie apart they rip the whole everyones-a-critic culture apart and makes a very valid point that while the movie is great, it's painting by numbers. A very good painting done by numbers, but still calculated and ultimately boring from a creative standpoint.
Since it would feel awkward making the 4th movie recommendation thread post in a row:
I recommend Turbo Kid if you liked Peter Jackson before all that Hobbit crap.
re: budgeting
Going through life without any sort of budgeting is like playing without poker tracker. There are just far too many transactions going through too many accounts and add in cash, and it's just not possible to have a great picture of where your money is going. It's great to have the presence of mind to note, when buying a cup of coffee, that for the same amount of time (less probably) you could have coffee at home and save X a day, Y a month, N a year. However, that doesn't actually tell you where your money is going.
Keeping track of every incoming and outgoing cent is absolute overkill for the long run, but doing it for a minimum of a month and preferably six months or more gives you a great snapshot of your finances. Guaranteed there's frivolous spending that is flying under your radar.
After getting my snapshot I was able to tally my fixed monthly expenses, set up a bank account where those are all set to autopay from, and deposit $fixedmonthlyexpenses*.55 (so there's not a risk of overdrafting, you can dump excess into savings or spend it on lotto tickets or anything in between yearly) from each of my bi monthly paychecks. Also after cutting out unwanted expenses, I felt comfortable allocating a fixed amount from each paycheck to a savings account. This is also an automated transfer, timed a few days after I get paid, so I essentially never see the money. The rest of the money from my paycheck is mine to do as I please. Sometimes I have some leftover when my next paycheck comes, and I can put that as a bonus into savings, or splurge and not worry, because my savings have already been fed.
It sounds like a lot, having multiple bank accounts and whatnot, but once setup (the setup was honestly fun for me, but I like spreadsheets, so ymmv) the system runs itself. I no longer feel like I need to penny pinch leading up to a trip, or worse, penny pinch following a trip to pay off CC debt-- and if I have money in my main checking, it's spendable. This has alleviated so much stress in my life, I feel like I have way more agency, and I feel like I have a more and more accurate picture of my future than I've ever had.
tl;dr: go read r/personalfinance
The secret to getting rich?
Live below your means.
You don't get rich by writing a lot of cheques.
Key seems to be to work hard, keep your mind open, take some gambles and get a little bit lucky along the way (where luck could be working a shitty job and realising you could do it better, meeting the right people that are going places, or getting into a fast growing company at the right point in your career).
I'd guess that a lot of people that could be top entrepreneurs nowadays that could become filthy rich choose instead the route of steady, comfortable professions where the gamble seems just too great.
Holy shit I forgot how much I love fall season. Last friday it was still 25°C but now it rained for 3 days straight and it's down to 8°C. Everything smells good, I'm not getting sweaty, my skin doesn't hurt when I'm outside, I can wear my favorite jacket. summer is easily the most overrated season. It's only marginally better than February.
Are you ginger or something?
Tbf going off English seasons the only time I like less than Summer is just before and after winter.
Also there's a reasonably high chance that one of my friends is dead. Not heard from him for > 2 weeks and he was last on steam over a week ago as apposed to usually on their daily. I could text/phone him but it doesn't seem worth the effort.
That's not what friend means.
Is it really more likely that he's dead than gone away on holiday?
My brotherinlaw is getting married after 4 months of dating. I don't support the marriage, and think he's making a huge mistake. Do I say anything, or just watch it happen?
Btw, girl has 1 kid from a divorce she just finalized. They're talking about buying a house, and just recently moved into an apartment together.
This is your wife's brother? I'd say no 'cause 1) it's not your place (you're not blood); 2) you're almost certainly not going to change his mind; and 3) it could make for some awkward family get togethers if he (and possibly his future wife) know you're against it.
The caveat to 1) above is if you're actually close friends with him then you might speak to him on that level. But not as his brotherinlaw imo.
What does your wife think about it all?
On a serious note, maybe take your bro-inlaw out for a beer and ask some pointed questions? Something like..."you sure? like really sure? like really, really sure?" I don't think you can actively voice your disagreement but can at least have him think about it.
Or just let him get on with his life? Unless for some reason it's going to have a huge negative impact on your life if it goes wrong let people do what they want.
A good friend married this russian chick half his age, always looked ike she was using him for an Ozzie passport, divorced within 9 monts, (no passort bitch, suck it!). He visited last week at which point we all said how it was obvious and we thought he was mental. Him and new gf were all like "why didn't you say something?".
Lesson here: never tell people you realised they were making a huge mistake, even after they have realised it too.
Haha!
Husband's brother, dear.
Anyway, JKDS needs to ask himself this question... if he speaks out, whill his brotherinlaw say "ooh thank you very much" and cancel the wedding, or will he say "fuck off and mind your own business" and get married anyway?
Usually it's the latter because noone wants to hear someone say "the person you love is a cunt".
There really is no good that can come of speaking out, other than for JKDS to have a clear conscious, to be able to say to himself "well I tried". It isn't JKDS' place to say so either, it would be his husband's.
Exactly. Hence the lesson learned part.
Meh, you can always be smart in managing your money and look to make extra cash for not much effort. I think most people that build up credit card debt just assume a well paid job will land at their feet and the debt will automatically go away. Not the case for most people.
I guess it's not true then given your knowledge of the industry. Was just basing it on my experience with First Direct wanting to know how much I spent on a bunch of different cost categories, wanting to know how I determined that amount and then verifying it through my bank statements. Also heard people were having problems if there was a non-zero amount of deposits to gambling sites. Figured that was normal now post credit crunch with new FSA regs.
Seems reasonable to go with something like "wow, that's a big commitment to somebody you've not known that long. Are you 100% sure?".
Then they'll just do it anyway and you can say I told you so.
I would recommend he protect his assets somehow though and insist on 50:50 where possible on any new commitments.
still seem mad about it
But i mean, it's way too soon, right? The bro isn't even out of the honeymoon stage yet. He's still headoverheels, she can do nothing wrong. They have no idea how they will deal with challenges, or even with each other once this period ends.
If it works out though, I'm a d-bag and our relationship becomes irreparable. If it doesn't work out, I'm come outta it neutral at best.
Blegh.
Yall are probably right though. Just let it be and hope for the best.
Should've just left the dude sitting there in his car, doing a fine job of being a security guard. Or stood there like a pleb and waiting for him.
Actually what you should've done is stood in front of his car and jumped up and down, waving your arms wildly. In this way, you get his attention, without having to gnetly tap on the window.
I mean tapping on his window. Really. You might as well have fucked his wife.
That response to me by poop was a beautiful demonstration of not de-escalting though.
The funny thing is, it's likely that most of his job is driving around the campus dealing with students doing stupid shit. I don't imagine there's a lot of serious undercover work or felony investigations going on there. For that the college will get the real cops.
I also imagine that the students generally give him no respect at all given he thinks he's the Chief of the Met. So, he's probably been told by students to fuck off so many times by now he just wants to sit in his car all day looking at his phone and not be disturbed. So ya obviously I was way out of line there by trying to send him back to the front lines.
A proper British person doesn't need to indicate that he's joking with a smiley face, because we understand that jokes are funnier when the other person doesn't get it.
Lot of stuff does get stolen from a uni campus by the general public. Not as bad a problem as hospitals, but still a problem. When I worked for a uni, we used to get lockdown when there was a protest going on too, so not all plain sailing. But you're right, it will be mostly being told to fuck off by pissed students.
Uni security officers are by and large useless though. There were a few at my place that were either physically disabled or not far from it. You can generally be borderline incompetent and downright lazy working for a uni and you'll likely never get fired.
JKDS the right thing is probably to say something. But it's hard and needs to be done well in order to be right. Probably when it becomes the wrong thing is when he is a very unreasonable person naturally (you know, the type who blames all his problems on externalities).
If you do it well and it works out, you can be humble and praise his judgment and how great his wife is and he'll think better of you because it. If it doesn't work out, he'll think better of you after he realizes it. The key here is all about doing it well. When doing it right, it's a win-win situation for you since it makes you look courageous, caring, and like a true friend.
Think about it as if you were in his shoes. Any of us making a mistake like this would want to have a friend who could show that to us. But few of us have friends like that because, well, it's really fucking hard to approach a friend in this situation and tell him that which makes things better.
If you're good at acting, then you can pull it off. You can use simple persuasion tools like this one: tell him what he wants to hear, then tell him what he needs to hear. This would involve you right out the gate giving him a gift (like buying him beer; this will make him feel reciprocation duty to you, which will make him more receptive) and telling him how much you value how smart he is and how kind he is and his quality judgment (this will make him feel more committed to using quality judgment). You could then tell him some reasons why you like his fiance (this will make you more likable). Then you could tell a relatable story about yourself having rushed (rushed is definitely the wrong word to use since somebody in his situation would have automatic defenses against it; I just can't think of something better right now) into something and what you learned from it (this allows people to see the truth of things without being defensive). You could tell him things you think that rushed marriages lose out on (framing as loss is more persuasive than as gain). You could be super humble and complimentary and say that you have no idea if any of this applies to him, but how you "have a rule" (extremely persuasive statement) on this for yourself that courting should last a long time. Don't tell him he's making a mistake; tell him how impressed you are by his judgment. Don't tell him you just want what's best for him; tell him that you know he will make the right decision and that you will always be there for him.
Say what? Your gf is a bitch and you shouldn't marry her?
JKDS says he doesn't "support" it. I'm being entirely sincere here, not provocative for the sake of it... but what the fuck is it to do with you? Why does he need your "support" to get married?
You should ask yourself why you disapprove. Is it because it's only been four months? Because her last marriage failed? Because she has a kid? Have you spent enough time with them to have any idea how well suited they are, if they are truly in love, if he has bonded with her kid, these kind of things?
Honestly, it's not your place to speak out. I would be quite insulted if someone told me to reconsider marrying the women I at least think I love. I would tell them to mind their own business. I would consider not inviting that person to the wedding.
Just stay quiet unless you know something important about her that he doesn't.
I could probably accept my best friend, or family, speaking out in this manner. Are you the best man? If not, just talk it over with your man, and if he agrees with you, let him talk to his brother. I assume we're talking about your man's brother, anyway.
If you don't have a particularly strong relationship with this guy, telling him you think his wife-to-be is unsuitable might put serious strain on your friendship, which if he's extended family, it's just not worth it.
Think carefully.
Yeah, really close friend or family member is one thing, anyone else is an entirely different situation.
Wow I'm entirely in agreement with ong. Not seen him make so much sense before.
He's on point when he's not goofing off.
I talk sense all the time, when you disagree with me it's because you're wrong!
I think one of the problems in speaking out is that it can only ever come across as patronising. You're practically saying you're better placed than he is to make the big decisions in his life. You're suggesting that you've thought it through more than he has. It's also arrogant, because you're implying that your opinion is so important that you feel the need to make sure he knows it.
There's also the danger that it causes problems between them. I mean what if he thinks that you know something that he doesn't, but you don't want to tell him outright? People can be paranoid, and when you stick your nose in, maybe it stirs up insecurities.
You have to ask what you hope to achieve. You want him to not marry her? What if he doesn't marry her, and he's single and unhappy in two years time? How will you feel about it then? Maybe he'll blame you for giving him doubts.
It's important to allow adults to make their own mistakes. For a start, it might not be a mistake. And if it is, we learn from it.
I somehow seem to have gone from having sorted out two jobs at the start of the week to having zero jobs at the end of it.
1 - Warehouse job, sort everything out sign contracts etc get told we'll phone you this week to sort out a start date. Hear nothing, none of the numbers I can find to talk to people seem to be willing to give me any information & online says start date scheduled. So that looks like it's not happening.
2 - Trial day at a school on Monday, Tuesday get a message saying from the recruitment firm saying the school were impressed & want me to start after half term (1st Nov) to getting a message today saying now they might not because they may not have the finances for it.
Recruitment firms are such a ball ache to deal with & I'm just royally fed up with no motivation to start looking for jobs. It's one thing to get told no it's another to get told yes then get fucked about and hear no. Hopefully at least one of them sorts itself out but I'm sceptical.
Good points all around.
Do you have a crawl space large enough to fit two and a half people?
For anybody interested, l-theanine may be a mild miracle supplement for any with issues related to anxiety. I don't have the same desire for alcohol while I'm on it, I don't sweat while in a "calm" state like I used to, and I don't get stressed out as badly. There are possible confounding variables, but I really don't think they're the cause of these changes.
The alcohol thing might be the most telling. The story of my (minor) alcoholism is I would get a little anxious and just want to relax, and the best habit I had for that was drinking. For obvious reasons I did not like this habit and wanted to quit, but my endogenous factors would not change, so inevitably I'd return. I don't really like calling it alcoholism because it's very minor and I have always done fine without it and it's not a "disease," but there were some signs of physiological dependency or whatever it is.
Anyways, that's completely gone while supplementing l-theanine. I still get times where I think "yeah I think I'm gonna go buy some booze and kill this stress" but then I think "I'd rather not and frankly I'm not that stressed" and that's the end of it. If I recall correctly, I haven't bought any personal-consumption alcohol while on theanine. I still drink occasionally, but I don't have the anxiety-driven motive to do it like I used to. For a month I went off theanine and the drinking came back, but when I went back on theanine the drinking vanished. That, along with the unique feeling that I don't have the anxiety motive, is why I think it's the theanine.
How can such a great person who everyone loves like yourself get anxious? What hope do the rest of us mere mortals have in life?
I need to start drinking again.
i lold
Isn't wuf like 40?
33. I went back to college at 29.
The funny thing is that I enjoy my life so much more when I'm working. But these days you can't get good work without a degree.
I enjoyed life so much more while not working. I have always hated working. Less now I don't have a boss or any superiors, but even now I'd rather not be working. So much pressure to perform and succeed, all I really wanna do is live in a beach Hut on a nice hot island, play guitar, read books and surf twice a day. My actual life is so far removed from the one I fantasize about i actively try not to fantasize about it.
I actually went to the doc on the back of an anxiety attack and she told me that I was withdrawing from alcohol.
Just an fyi - drink a bunch and there are side effects.