cosmo sex tip #666 “ when he's least expecting it, carve a pentagram in his chest and begin summoning satan
Printable View
cosmo sex tip #666 “ when he's least expecting it, carve a pentagram in his chest and begin summoning satan
I WAS JUST WATCHING THAT
and loling everywhere
bwa ha ha ha ha
that kid's lightsaber is all floppy
WOBBLY SAUSAGE!
LOL
Fact: I have had 5 jobs since I joined FTR, none of which was being a male prostitute.
Fellow countryman hits 55hr in japan, they gve him a fucking bouquet
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6SKHhV5YMrI
mother fuckers that don't do what they said they'd do piss me of.
had brake pads changed late july/early august - we paid for the "best" ones - because we were told they would not squeak, and that's why they had to use those. 3 days later they start squeaking. called place - said we needed this fixed cause we were informed they wouldn't squeak, dude said it'd be fine to go ahead to b-day trip and bring in the car when we had time, they'd fix it free of charge. afterwards it was making a light groaning noise when braking. but, it was very faint and we were told it'd be fine. a week and a half ago the fucking thing starts squeaking again. called the mother fuckers and told them, "this will be the third time we will be there to have the same thing fixed."
so, friday after going to see my therapist we're taking the car up to these mother fuckers, and then going to go see my niece for her b-day.
I'm beyond pissed. I'm so angry I'm at the point of smiling. We're leaving Monday 5am-ish to head to the beach. I'm going to try real hard to not be overly cuntish. To me, if you have someone pay for something because it won't do a thing, and it starts doing the thing, you should fucking pay them for putting up with your bullshit.
In other news - I'm fixing my hair today so it'll be faded back to blonde vs faded lavender/pink/teal. At the beginning of October I'm doing a photoshoot, and I'mma be a broken porcelain doll.
Also - kidney stones are fucking evil. pms is fucking stupid and has no purpose. marghphhahahamp. oh, and i keep getting fucking crazy hungry - the kind of hungry that it hurts, there's no warning, and even after what is a lot of food for me i'm still hungry. wtf.
Breaking Fucking Bad!
i really need to watch this show i got netflix and everything for it but i still havent watched it
If I get laid in the morning I've realised it makes a huge difference to my day. I can deal with anything. I'm not moody going to work, I don't feel grumpy, my whole outlook is positive, my aggression level drops and I'm a generally happy person.
Nice brag post rong.
Lol
You should still be in the honeymoon period and getting some far more frequently than anyone else.
for the past 40 minutes i've been trying to work up the courage to say a simple hello to someone and i just can't fucking do it
one time i had sex right after waking up in the morning and i lost my vision/hearing temporarily because i got so lightheaded. he was pretty proud of himself, but i think i'm just lame.
calling it now.
inb4 chipeaterman
i get a giddy smile on my face when i think about chippy...
http://stream2.gifyo.com/pictures/22...-430168901.gif
terror. they say that terror lies in the deep.
Prince never said "Hello"
http://ottermatic.files.wordpress.co...incehotwtf.gif
:lol:
:x
http://stream2.gifyo.com/pictures/22...-259018999.gif
I CAN'T STOP i might start a mini gif-series
what should i call it
(above gif is pretty accurate representation of what it's like to get to know me. "she seems normal... oh wait.")
oh yeah im about to drive to baltimore, woo
ur a girl?
I NEED TO PEE
AIM FOR OZ
I grew up told Stephen King was a no-talent shocky horror writer. In my teens I read Green Mile. It was kind of amazing. I called King one of the best writers to ever live. His prose flows and his characters are as real as real is. Fast forward over a decade: I haven't read much anything since. I try out several different novels: Vonnegut, Salvatore, GRRM, Jacques, Dumas. Still don't hold a candle to Motherfucking Stephen King. "Shocky horror" genre fiction is a facade. Dude is legit. I read one page and I feel what's going on
Writing, some people seem to think it should be art where as other people just want to convey something.
http://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthough..._overdose_the/
this subreddit is literally the best subreddit.
I know you will finally get the courage to say hello to chippy ;)
http://i.imgur.com/zjfCQV7.gif
I've experienced something similar. No! I didn't get fucked by a dude! One time I was having sex with a beautiful hot woman with perfect ass and tits who looked like Alyssa Milano's twin sister, she shouted: Fuck me hard chippy! You're the best chippy! Suddenly, I lost my vision/hearing temporarily because of the morning sunlight over my head that came through the bedroom's window. I woke up. I was dreaming! :-D
Ty savvy. I may do a naked one just for you.
nooooo savy, y u reveal my esoteric gif making secrets ;_;
Considering all I had to do was to look at the url of the picture and google gifyo to see what it was. Think of this as hacking to help you protect yourself in the future.
Pink suits you aubrey!
http://i.imgur.com/6g9a0ad.gif
LOL awesome
welcome to the cringe thread
Aubrey in yellow is 10x cuter/hotter than Aubrey with hair down gif. I want to know a logical explanation for why this is the case!
There's a metaphysical explanation for that, it's called the chippy giddy smile effect on women. When women maintain a conscious giddy mental connection with chippy, their presence will naturally radiate a certain beauty and undisturbed, inner tranquility. Such females glow, look gorgeous and seem irresistible to those who value goodness. They have an attractor field of loveliness which, likewise, tends to bring out the beauty in other people.
http://i.imgur.com/zjfCQV7.gif
http://i.imgur.com/6g9a0ad.gif
http://i.imgur.com/S5PuVIv.gif
This thread is now the H.M.S Randomness. I am her captain. Put some asymmetric thrust behind this beauty and turn her from "let's fuck" to "get fucked" to "fuck yeah!"
Look at this shit right here
so fucking cringe.
i like to leave a trail of cringe wherever i go.
http://i.imgur.com/dmkFm1n.jpg
nobody expects the spanish inquisition
I always expect the spanish inquisition. That way they'll never get you.
Because the objective of language is communication, not to be (logically in the mathematical sense) correct. Now there's a dry answer for you!
Language is the best.
I understand. I wasn't correcting anyone.
I'm really curious to the motivation behind the practice, though. I hear it all the time.
I do it myself sometimes, unintentionally. Then I correct myself, unnecessarily. I'm a dork.
I always wonder if it's a subconscious manipulation to draw the listener in to my perspective.
Big dork.
It simply has a different meaning to use 'you' or 'me' there.
That way they'll never get me = you're only talking about protecting yourself.
That way they'll never get you = you frame it as an us vs them thing, implying that a whole group of people is in danger of being 'gotten' (including the listener).
God that was boring to type out :)
boyfran's brakes are finally fixed. they replaced the pads again, this time with ceramic ones. we spent 2 hours clean the inside and outside, and i didn't think, so I have a pretty bad sunburn on my back. but the car is clean as fuck, and it makes me happy. i really dig cleaning, sometimes.
everything besides things that will be used tonight are all packed in one suitcase for the beach. my roots are bleached, and i faded the rest of my hair, and toned my roots so they won't look godawful. gave myself a french manicure. today has been productive. 5am we shall be on the road, and should be at our destination by at least 11am, probably sooner.
p.s. my therapist cried happy tears friday. she said i really needed to write down some of the things, because they're worded so beautifully.
Pretty goddamn sure I use language to be correct
Well, yeah, morons
Now, Francis Bacon. That's where it's at
All Aristotle ever did was look at plants and say "Hey look, plants!"
All Socrates ever did was ask "Yeah but how do you know they're plants?"
All Plato ever did was say "These plants suck. They're not perfect. Not like the perfect plant in my head."
Then Aristotle and Socrates looked at Plato funny while he ate his own boogers
Plato, Aristotle, Socrates, Jackvance. Morons
Do you guys put salt on your watermelon?
Try Orwell and Edward Abbey. I don't get into novels much, but Down and Out In Paris and London and Monkey Wrench Gang are amazing books. You should give em a try.
I think the word you were looking for is "ejaculate"
This.
Yeah, it's confirmed, you are bad at food.
lol I am actually the least picky eater around... I'm pretty much known for being great with food irl. My father is an incredible chef (not to mention really passionate about it) so I grew up eating a wide variety of food. I hate overly picky eaters, or people that refuse to try anything new just because they can't get over their preconceptions.
Honestly if salt and watermelon is ~a thing~ I'll try it, but it just seems counterintuitive to me. It's really just certain combinations that make me scrunch my nose, but I'm open to anything.
I'd like to hear what your dad says about it. I was really wondering if it's a Southern thing, more widespread, or just my weird family.
italians also put black pepper on strawberries. i think there's lots of contrasting flavour combos that people are too pussy to try out. hot/sweet is one of my faves i have to say, which is why i dig thai food. i had a gummi-chili recently - gummi candy in the shape of a chili, sweet like gummibears at first, BURNING FIRE with a 10 second delay. it was awesome.