Do you stand or sit when you wipe?

Ok been reading this thread of akward moments here http://forums.skateperception.com/in...howtopic=42157

and they got into a discusion about wiping stand or sitting. I have never heard of people stand up to wipe their ass before. So is it that comon?






PLUS! my akward situation, while typing this I was tlaking to my sister on aim because she is getting pop ups. I wanted the word for that thing that sprays water on your ass on the tiolet so I asked her. She didnt know I then told her to stop looking at porn to stop the pop ups..... akward....

Who really fucking cares? I mean come on already. Are you 2 or 20? Stop taking up server resources with childish shit like this.

So do you sit or stand?

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Originally Posted by ProZachNation

So do you sit or stand?

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Sit

:) :banana:

The more important question is whether you scrunch or fold.

I combine the scrunch and fold. With only the fold I dont get enough texture out of the TP to get a good wipe, with only the scrunch you run the risk of only being one sheet thick and your finger could break through into the.... yeah

Women of course don't do this, so they should not be involved in this thread in any way, shape, or form.

I rap when I wipe

I had no idea people sat while wiping.

I stand becuase it seems less girly.

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Originally Posted by PO$$E$$ED

I rap when I wipe

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Lyrics?

Do any of you front wipe or reach around to wipe?

I sit. I had no idea people stood until me and my housemate got talking about it at the pub...


apparently hes a stander

Dont your cheeks close up when you stand? wtf you guys a weird

went from standing to sitting...toughest decision of my life

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Originally Posted by Swanny

went from standing to sitting...toughest decision of my life

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I mix it up. But I pee sitting.

http://forum.dumpstersluts.com/image...s/banahump.gif

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Originally Posted by Warpe

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Originally Posted by Swanny

went from standing to sitting...toughest decision of my life

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I mix it up. But I pee sitting.

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Yeah I just can't pee standing up, I always miss.

One time I had to pee standing up at Cub-Scout camp into a whole, because it was a campsite and all, and I missed and peed on this other guy's shoe. He got angry and peed on my shoe back. An all out penis war ensued.

Oh and I also shave my legs. Once a fortnight.

I prefer to sit-n-go.

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Originally Posted by bluey

Dont your cheeks close up when you stand? wtf you guys a weird

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Weird thread. I will ignore it from now on.

This is seriously blowing my mind.

I had never even considered sitting. Maybe I should try it out?

yes. I switched to sitting when I was 10 or so. It's +EV.

Yeah, this is a bit amazing. We are finding so much stuff out about each other.

As an act of good faith next time I shit Ill stand to wipe, I suggest the standers try sitting and we can see what we like better. We cant live life wondering what could have been.

WTF IS SANDSGTORMS AVATAR, THAT IS AMAZING, PS STANDING IS FOR THE COOL KIDS

standers 4 life

i never even knew about sitters until like a year ago and i still don't understand it.

Stand
Scrunch with an ocasional wrap
and reach back, definately not under.

does anyone else feel they need to shower afterwards though? because i almost always do unless im at work

I stand with one leg on the toilet seat, and with a mirror at a 45 degree angle underneath, to provide maximum visibility and accessibility.

I also use a special tool I have constructed from pipe-cleaners and wire wool, to ensure there is minimal leftover clagnuttery.

You can borrow it if you like.

A tool like THIS?:
http://www.allegromedical.com/images...cts/SP6219.jpg

:p

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Originally Posted by Grand_MasterB

Stand
Scrunch with an ocasional wrap
and reach back, definately not under.

does anyone else feel they need to shower afterwards though? because i almost always do unless im at work

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I fold, stand and occasionally use baby wipes. I know it sounds weird and I woulda never done it until I read this article in some random mag. It was the story of how this guy was on a greyhound bus or some shit and had to take a shit, so he went to the bathroom, and did his business. When it came time to wipe there was no toiletpaper!! However it seems someone had changed thier babies diaper and left a box of babywipes behind! So he went for it, and never went back. Its great man, youll never feel fresher.

And yes I do feel like showering afterwards if I am not in possession of baby wipes. Im weird with deficating though. For example I rarely if ever use public restrooms to take a shit. I just dont feel comfortable. Also when I do I always always always cover the seat with toilet paper or with 2 of those seat cover things that they have sometimes. I got this habbit from going to summer camp. Before hand I had never really needed to use a public bathroom to do number 2. At camp the bathrooms were not all that clean, so it was pretty manditory to cover the seats. The thing is, a week after I got home, I realized I was still doing this. Yes, in my own bathroom I was covering the seat. Why? I guess after a month at camp it jsut became habbit. So then I tried to stop, but I just couldnt, the seat was so cold and uncomfrotable.

btw this thread ROCKS.

Most of the time I shower afterwards when I'm at home. When I eventually own my own my home I'm going to have a bidets installed in all the bathrooms.

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Originally Posted by DaNutsInYoEye

Most of the time I shower afterwards when I'm at home. When I eventually own my own my home I'm going to have a bidets installed in all the bathrooms.

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really? I dont know.. baby wipes or some folded up damp toilet paper does the trick. Not quite sure I wanna have anythign squirted up my ass..

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Originally Posted by boostNslide

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Originally Posted by DaNutsInYoEye

Most of the time I shower afterwards when I'm at home. When I eventually own my own my home I'm going to have a bidets installed in all the bathrooms.

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really? I dont know.. baby wipes or some folded up damp toilet paper does the trick. Not quite sure I wanna have anythign squirted up my ass..

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PO$$E$$ED will be disappointed.

Stand? Sit? Baby wipes?


I just cut the dingleberries off at the end of the month with sidecutters.

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Originally Posted by Sprayed

Do any of you front wipe or reach around to wipe?

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I am a front wiper.

Sit, fold, reach around. Interesting thread.

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Originally Posted by B4s73rd

Stand? Sit? Baby wipes?


I just cut the dingleberries off at the end of the month with sidecutters.

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hah

good work rilla finding this. blame him for the bump.

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Originally Posted by dwarfman

One time I had to pee standing up at Cub-Scout camp into a whole, because it was a campsite and all, and I missed and peed on this other guy's shoe. He got angry and peed on my shoe back. An all out penis war ensued.

Oh and I also shave my legs. Once a fortnight.

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i cant believe no one called out this post

I usually just skip over dmang posts.

I used to stand but now I sit.

Stand, reach behind, squat a little for maximum access, scrub too hard, occasional chafing. Might try sitting next time, honestly it's never occurred to me.

Nice find/bump rilla/gabe.

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Originally Posted by zook

Nice find/bump rilla/gabe.

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Nice post/thanks zook/zook

who wipes standing up wtf??????

sitting all the way, reach between the legs and back a little bit and do a little scrub (don't give me that horseshit that it's not good for you)

Sit, fold, reach around. I had no idea that there was any other way to do it.

um

holy fuck.

I have been a stander my entire life, I never thought of sitting.

I just ate some mcdonalds and im about to do business, i'll give a field report in about 10 minutes once i finish here.

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Originally Posted by Jishu

holy fuck.

I have been a stander my entire life, I never thought of sitting.

I just ate some mcdonalds and im about to do business, i'll give a field report in about 10 minutes once i finish here.

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Epic, no pics plz.

sick fuckers

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Originally Posted by a500lbgorilla

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Originally Posted by Jishu

holy fuck.

I have been a stander my entire life, I never thought of sitting.

I just ate some mcdonalds and im about to do business, i'll give a field report in about 10 minutes once i finish here.

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Epic, no pics plz.

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it's been 20 minutes. is everything alright?

No pictures nessicary

So I was sitting on the can, reading mens health, and feeling content about what I had just done.

So I flush it, and reach for a new roll of TP (special occasion, 2ply quilted.)

So I first tried reaching between my legs and wiping, I found it sort of difficult and I didnt like my hand that far into the bowl. So I tried the other way, leaned forward a bit and reacher around. It was magical. Clean as a whistle.

Also, as a stander I would frequently stand and was forced to look at the mess I made. Also throwing a fecal wipe a few feet into a toilet bowl really isnt that charming, expecially whne ur drunk and you sometimes hit the rim and have to pick it up off the floor. it happens, dont lie standers.

So im a sitter now, thanks OP.

WHEW! Jishu, i had feared the worst!

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Originally Posted by Jishu

Also throwing a fecal wipe a few feet into a toilet bowl really isnt that charming

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Wtf lol? So do you walk a few feet to get to the toilet paper too? Ewww.

I'm a stander, and I'm ok with ppl that sit too:P, but those that reach between their legs...hmm, seems wierd.

Edit: Reading this thread makes the room you're in smell like shit

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Originally Posted by Alexos

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Originally Posted by Jishu

Also throwing a fecal wipe a few feet into a toilet bowl really isnt that charming

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Wtf lol? So do you walk a few feet to get to the toilet paper too? Ewww.

I'm a stander, and I'm ok with ppl that sit too:P, but those that reach between their legs...hmm, seems wierd.

Edit: Reading this thread makes the room you're in smell like shit

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Well no. Do you stick your hand into the bowl and gently float your used tp onto the water like a toy boat? Meausre the distance from your wiping hand to the bowl water. Im sure its a couple of feet.

And try sitting. its magic.

Stand, scrunch and reach around. That's the only straight way.

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Originally Posted by kmind

Stand, scrunch and reach around. That's the only straight way.

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I concur

LOL this thread is getting disgusting.

Sit, fold, through the legs.

Scrunching seems to be a less efficient use of paper (I can get a good wipe with 3 pieces, and no risk of fingers breaking through). I'm too lazy to lean forward to reach around.

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Originally Posted by flyingPenguin

Sit, fold, through the legs.

Scrunching seems to be a less efficient use of paper (I can get a good wipe with 3 pieces, and no risk of fingers breaking through). I'm too lazy to lean forward to reach around.

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Is toilet paper really expensive where you're from or something?

1/2 stand / 1/2 squat, scrunch, reach around. This is the only way. I also like to shower afterwards, so i usually shit first thing in the morning before work.

For those that reach between the legs, thats just disgusting. You all have shitty balls.

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Originally Posted by Silly String

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Originally Posted by flyingPenguin

Sit, fold, through the legs.

Scrunching seems to be a less efficient use of paper (I can get a good wipe with 3 pieces, and no risk of fingers breaking through). I'm too lazy to lean forward to reach around.

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Is toilet paper really expensive where you're from or something?

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No, but I do a lot of wipes. Gotta clean that thing right out, or I'm with the shower people.

Yah, I try to shit when I can shower pretty quickly.

This thread is funny, I was on a lads holiday in Greece and the 18-30's hotels give you like 1 roll a week for your room. Its not at all uncommon to end up with sloppy shits in Greece and so toilet roll is a precious item. My mate could not understand that I was a stander and claimed it meant you waste more paper. I had no idea people were sit-wipers before this. Which is more efficient?
My actual techinque is like a stand/squat with a fold and reach around.

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Originally Posted by Jishu

Also, as a stander I would frequently stand and was forced to look at the mess I made.

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Gotta love that, be proud of your mess! :twisted:

I'm pretty sure I've come up with the optimal configuration for toilet roll folding.

OMG reveal your secret plz?

i stand and reach around!! no idea blokes sit down and wipe.

dont fold or scrunch, kind of a wrap.

I wipe with these guys. Problem solved.

http://homeonthefringe.com/blogpics/halloween2.jpg

wtf @ everyone. wiping is for homos.

i bumpz kuz i sitz


hello home page :D

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Originally Posted by flomo

i bumpz kuz i sitz


hello home page :D

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lol did you just go through the commune until you found a thread you wanted to bump?

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Originally Posted by will641

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Originally Posted by flomo

i bumpz kuz i sitz


hello home page :D

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lol did you just go through the commune until you found a thread you wanted to bump?

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actually this one of my favorite threads and makes me laugh out loud
the serious is funny and the funny is serious, this is seriously funny

and irisheyes still hasn't revealed his secret

Lolling pretty hard right now. Props for bumping this thread, especially for those who hadn't read it (like me). Also, the FTR Commune is amazing.

Post of the thread IMO:

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Originally Posted by dwarfman

One time I had to pee standing up at Cub-Scout camp into a whole, because it was a campsite and all, and I missed and peed on this other guy's shoe. He got angry and peed on my shoe back. An all out penis war ensued.

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Followed by DogOnMySide's post about "clagnuttery".

hold the phone, how do you wipe sitting down? your ass is by nature blocking the seat?

use baby wipes , for the win!!

I am stunned. There are people that stand to wipe? I had NO idea. Why would anyone stand? Ass cheeks go together and creates much bigger mess. You have to squat in some way to wipe I assume? If you are already sitting why go through the extra steps? Just lean forward and do the reach behind. My god, This whole thread stuns me. Standers, who the hell thought that up. I strongly suggest any standers to give the sitting a try, your world will change.

This thread is epic

I'm also happy I never saw this when I found the site, because there's no chance I would have ever joined.

op has more spelling errors than I can count

epic thread tho

Why in the living fuck would you stand up before you wipe the shit off of your ass?

What if you got like poo hanging down and you stand and it gets all mushed...

fucking standers disgust me.

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Originally Posted by spoonitnow

Why in the living fuck would you stand up before you wipe the shit off of your ass?

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yeah then the cheeks come together, and you risk spreading of the deuce.

Oh man, I never knew standing to wipe existed either. But seriously, I am contemplating trying it. The toilet in my apartment has a high water level and seriously, my hand keeps hitting the water when I wipe while sitting. Standing will totally eliminate this. Fucking genius

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Originally Posted by shazbox

Oh man, I never knew standing to wipe existed either. But seriously, I am contemplating trying it. The toilet in my apartment has a high water level and seriously, my hand keeps hitting the water when I wipe while sitting. Standing will totally eliminate this. Fucking genius

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If that's all that's hitting the water then you've got another small problem.

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Originally Posted by shazbox

Oh man, I never knew standing to wipe existed either. But seriously, I am contemplating trying it. The toilet in my apartment has a high water level and seriously, my hand keeps hitting the water when I wipe while sitting. Standing will totally eliminate this. Fucking genius

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why dont you try leaning forward a little?

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Originally Posted by will641

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Originally Posted by shazbox

Oh man, I never knew standing to wipe existed either. But seriously, I am contemplating trying it. The toilet in my apartment has a high water level and seriously, my hand keeps hitting the water when I wipe while sitting. Standing will totally eliminate this. Fucking genius

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why dont you try leaning forward a little?

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I do. It has never been a problem to recently. Maybe my technique changed a little and I didn't notice.

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Originally Posted by Warpe

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Originally Posted by shazbox

Oh man, I never knew standing to wipe existed either. But seriously, I am contemplating trying it. The toilet in my apartment has a high water level and seriously, my hand keeps hitting the water when I wipe while sitting. Standing will totally eliminate this. Fucking genius

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If that's all that's hitting the water then you've got another small problem.

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Thats some funny shit right there.^^^

I told a friend in my office about this whole subject. He thought I was joking. I said no man, there are standers!! We went to break and I told another guy about the thread and he got a weird look on his face, I said " Your a stander aren't you?? " And holy shit he was!! This was my friends my good friend. He had no idea his friend of like 15 years was a stander. CRAZY SHIT. Now everyone I look at I can't help but wonder, stander ( fucked up ) or sitter ( normal human ).

Stander freaks should all be put on an island together like lepers.

Sit/fold/reach behind.

I also had no idea there was any other way to do it.

Is there also some large unknown group of people that found some other way to sleep? Or eat? (cue clips of Martha Stewart sitting on a turkey)

The other problem I see with standing, that hasn't been mentioned, is what if you have a small piece of crap still hanging there, one that you could have wiped away while still on the toilet, that falls off as you stand? Best case there would be that it falls on the seat and you have to clean it up, but it could just as easily fall into your pants! Or do you guys get completely naked to shit too?

I just can't wrap my head around this standing idea.

Since it's learned behaviour, I'm willing to bet that it runs in families.

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Originally Posted by shazbox

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Originally Posted by will641

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Originally Posted by shazbox

Oh man, I never knew standing to wipe existed either. But seriously, I am contemplating trying it. The toilet in my apartment has a high water level and seriously, my hand keeps hitting the water when I wipe while sitting. Standing will totally eliminate this. Fucking genius

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why dont you try leaning forward a little?

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I do. It has never been a problem to recently. Maybe my technique changed a little and I didn't notice.

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Could try putting a brick in your tank

Yes, Hawksfan hit the nail on the head. You are bound to get a hanger or somethin akin to that. If you are standing that stuff could end up anywhere. For Gods sake with the lean to the side and wrap around there is no chance of anything ending up anywhere but the bowl. Standers could lose a piece and end up on their leg, in the shorts, on the back of the shoe. Opposable thumbs and sitting when we wipe are the only things that seperate us from the apes.

Jesus standers, EVOLVE already.

I gotta say though. This clears up alot of those questions I had walking into a public restroom and seeing a mess all over the shitter. Obviously a Stander's work.

I can't even imagine a bout of the shits and being a stander. Lord, no wonder you all want to take showers. Your all covered in shit from the waist down.

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Originally Posted by Deuce Blue

Opposable thumbs and sitting when we wipe are the only things that seperate us from the apes.

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I lol'd.

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Originally Posted by Deuce Blue

I gotta say though. This clears up alot of those questions I had walking into a public restroom and seeing a mess all over the shitter. Obviously a Stander's work.

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:idea:
I hadn't even considered that! That's got to be it.

Standers?!?!

*my head asplode"

It just makes no sense. Gravity, boys...why would you try and defy it? Also, you front wipers, how is your junk not in the way? And why would you want to finish your stroke on your taint? I can't imagine oral on a woman if I knew she finished on her taint. There better not be any women standers.

I just threw up a little in my mouth.

We have all seen dogs sliding across the carpet when they get a hanger ( or worms ) . I bet Standers do that too when no one is around.

Front wiping is what gives women infections ...

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Originally Posted by Deuce Blue

Yes, Hawksfan hit the nail on the head. You are bound to get a hanger or somethin akin to that. If you are standing that stuff could end up anywhere. For Gods sake with the lean to the side and wrap around there is no chance of anything ending up anywhere but the bowl. Standers could lose a piece and end up on their leg, in the shorts, on the back of the shoe. Opposable thumbs and sitting when we wipe are the only things that seperate us from the apes.

Jesus standers, EVOLVE already.

I gotta say though. This clears up alot of those questions I had walking into a public restroom and seeing a mess all over the shitter. Obviously a Stander's work.

I can't even imagine a bout of the shits and being a stander. Lord, no wonder you all want to take showers. Your all covered in shit from the waist down.

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This is the best post in this thread.

girls don't poop, get out of the thread please

its not like we (i speak for the standers) stand straight up. Its more like a slight stand/lean thing just to elevate above the bowl. This eliminates the theory about hangers.

i now understand why this is flomo's favorite thread. funny shit, no pun intended.

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Originally Posted by kmind

girls don't poop

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Thank Jesus. I feel better now.

HOW CAN YOU PEOPLE STAND UP WHEN YOU WIPE AND WHY

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Originally Posted by kmind

girls don't poop, get out of the thread please

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Originally Posted by courtiebee

Front wiping is what would give women infections if they pooped.

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FMP

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Originally Posted by givememyleg

HOW CAN YOU PEOPLE STAND UP WHEN YOU WIPE AND WHY

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i bet youre a front wiper, arent you carl?