Long time no update. Long time no pokers for that matter either.
I had a bit of a break over the past couple of weeks. I feel like the sheer brutality of this game has sunk in recently. How I am qualified to come to this conclusion is largely a mystery as I ran really well last month. But as I keep improving and poker looks like it's going to become a more and more important part of my life in the future I've been thinking a lot about it.
Obviously gambling is very different to most jobs; you never know what you're going to earn to an extent that is incomparible with performance related pay. You can do brilliantly for a long period of time and lose money. Gambling, as a career, is one thing. If you found a way to beat a casino game such as card counting in blackjack all you need to do is go to the casino and apply your system. When times are rough, you can just put in more hours and things WILL turn around if you have an edge.
In poker, it is different. Your mental state is such a crucial part of the game. Here's what I've realized - if you take a loss particularly badly in poker, you may lose your edge. If you run like shit for a long period of time, your play may deteriorate and then frankly you're fucked. Playing for a living is tough, particularly if you're a on a low budget.
What I've learnt from this is the importance of financial stability away from the tables. I hope never to be in a position when I cannot afford to put in a losing month. The pressure of that would be intolerable. Thinking about the future I have serious ambitions if I can keep my head sorted. But I mustn't force myself to play when I'm not feeling prepared or in the right mental state, and I must NEVER feel that I have to play above a certain limit. If the 200nl games suck or I'm just not feeling it, I should without hesitation drop down. Lose the ego, think about money :D
So what brought on this random waffling? Well, just look at the end of my August graph... edit: lol I've just realized how inconspicuous the downswing looks - the thick green line actually ends up below 8083 for a -1.8k tilty session.
http://i67.photobucket.com/albums/h3...gust-08HEM.jpg
Ok so it was my best month ever and I can't complain ldo (thick line is actual winnings, thin is equity adjusted so I ran hawt.) However, during the last 5k-ish hands I really forced myself to play. I felt that I had to continue, even though I was feeling tense and weary. Lesson learnt I hope.
So august -
8k profit
+$100 lol donkaments
+ $700 Bonus
+ Moved up to 200nl
= Great success
September goals
40k VPPs (aiming for 300k milestone bonus) BUT may be more or less depending on how I feel
10k profit, but that will include a 4k bonus and I'm already up $700 so HOPEFULLY that is reasonable.
No more than 16 tables - I have sorted out a new double cascade type layout and I'm really happy with it :) I'll take a screenshot sometime
Table select like the nit I truly am
Also if the pound could keep falling against the dollar I will be delighted :D
I hope this doesn't come across as too negative btw. Obv I'm really pleased with my August results but the tilty last day has really got to me. I feel really mentally refreshed now though, hopefully september can be even better!