My Joke - If you read you must reply w/ a better one
Proudly showing off his new apartment to some friends late one night, a drunk leads his way to his bedroom where there's a big brass gong.
"Whats with the gong?" one of the friends asks.
"That's no gong," the drunk replies. "Its a talking clock."
"How does it work?" the friend asks.
"Watch," the drunk says. He picks up a hammer, pounds the gong as loudly as he can and steps back.
Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screams, "You asshole, it's 10 past four in the morning!"
possibly the world's sickest joke - read at your own risk
A gay man is at his lover's hospital bedside as he is passing away from AIDS. His lover's life ebbs from him and the gay man is distraught with grief. After a while a doctor approaches the gay man and asks as to what arrangements should be made for the body. The gay man turns to the doctor, his face contorted in agony and says "leave us alone! I'm taking him home with me". The doctor tries to reason with the gay man; there is paperwork to be filled out and the funeral home to be contacted, but the gay man is having none of it, "I'm taking him home!" he screamed again. The doctor tries once more to reason with him and said "You cannot take him home, be reasonable, what will you do with him if you take him home?"
The gay man replied "I'm taking him home, then I'm going to cut him up into small pieces, put him in a pot and make the hottest ever curry out of him"
The doctor horrified shouted "Why, why would you do a thing like that?"
The gay man said "I want to feel him dribbling out my ass one last time!"
:D