Attitude matters - sort of a rant
When I was Dwarfman’s age, like any red blooded American boy, I thought swords were freaking cool. A four foot razorblade for slicing and dicing bad guys, how can you go wrong? Movies and video games verified the amazing coolness of swords. Highlander springs to mind. The thing I never paid any attention to was the amazing amount of care someone with a sword has to have. You can cut your arm off with one of those things.
A few years ago I was cutting some wood on a table saw, and the board bound up and flew into my hand. It hurt like a motherfucker. The amount of respect I had for that table saw increased about a hundred and fifty times. You can cut your arm off with one of those things.
It seems to me there are very few times in our lives when our performance really matters. For example, if I have a bad day and die a whole lot trying to complete a mission on Grand Theft Auto so what? If I have to try for three hours to fix a bug, rather than just two, who cares? The performance doesn’t really matter. I was never good at sports, and never played an instrument, so I never had to perfect a “performance”. Even so, for most folks, there isn’t much risk to sub par performance. Maybe a few elite athletes, but even they get busted for drugs and put on the bench for weeks or months, then come back.
Poker is hard, for me, because performance matters the WHOLE time I’m there. people talk about the discipline necessary to play good poker. I realized I can play pretty well, when I’m in the ‘zone’. Getting there is tough though. It’s so easy to sit down and think “I’m going to win a lot of money” or “I’m going to take that guy’s stack” or “I’m going clear this bonus in record time” rather than, “I’m going to play perfect poker”
I’m a break even player. The reason is, I don’t tell myself “I’m going to play perfect poker”, instead I think about all the money I’m going to win. I imagine all the cool stuff I’m going to buy while sitting at a table, rather than playing the damn game. All too often I fail to demonstrate the appropriate amount of caution and respect for, say, an AK that misses the flop. You can cut your arm off with one of those things.
I think, as dorky as it sounds, I’m going to try to think about my stack like a knife. I have cut myself doing stupid things with a knife often enough to give them a healthy amount of respect. I’m going to try to ease off a bit on the whole “I want your cash” and try to think a little bit more about how much it will hurt to lose this stack. I seem to have no problems with aggression. I’ll push those chips in with top pair no kicker. And I pay the price. Then I get cautious and I win. Then I get arrogant and I loose.
I’ve started to get up early and exercise before playing. It’s helped a bit, but attitude is the whole deal. It’s so easy to think, “I’m going to win a lot of money” rather than “I’m going to play perfect poker”.
Sorry for the long post, this stuff has been rolling around in my head for a while and I wanted to get it out. I figgured i'd inflict it on all of you :)
