More Toilet Humour

Why do men lift the toilet seat?

If your aim isn't good enough to make the massive hole in the seat,
does the extra couple of centimetres gained by lifting the seat really make it possible to hit the only slightly larger target accurately every time?

Men lift the toilet seat?

If you do happen to miss, or a little spray comes off the stream, you won't have to later sit on your dried urine when you have to take a shit.

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Originally Posted by rong

Men lift the toilet seat?

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yeah , to piss off the women.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by NightGizmo

If you do happen to miss, or a little spray comes off the stream, you won't have to later sit on your dried urine when you have to take a shit.

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/thread

At home I've been trained to wipe the seat after I pee.

In other news, I sat down to pee last night when I woke up in the middle of the night. It's kinda nice when you're really tired.

If often sit down on my own toilet to piss. Especially during the night. Never away from home though.

I prolapse my bladder through my pee hole and dump my piss all over the floor like turning over a bucket of piss. Doesn't necessarily need to be the bathroom floor.

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Originally Posted by a500lbgorilla

I prolapse my bladder through my pee hole and dump my piss all over the floor like turning over a bucket of piss. Doesn't necessarily need to be the bathroom floor.

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This reminds of a funny trick an old friend of mine would do. He has an excessive amount of foreskin so he would pinch the top shut then start peeing so it would fill up. Then he'd let go it'd splash everywhere. He called it the Mad Bomber.

Probably the most inappropriate place he did this was at a friend's wedding. He had alcohol issues.

Just shit on the floor.

That really pisses my gf off. She's so fucking touchy.

I liked the Curb Your Enthusiasm episode where Larry got mad at his wife because she left the seat up.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Galapogos

This reminds of a funny trick an old friend of mine would do. He has an excessive amount of foreskin so he would pinch the top shut then start peeing so it would fill up. Then he'd let go it'd splash everywhere. He called it the Mad Bomber.

Probably the most inappropriate place he did this was at a friend's wedding. He had alcohol issues.

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I was lol'ing well before you got to the part about the friend's wedding.

I find that more often than not piss lands on the seat by splashing out of the bowl, regardless of how accurate my aim is.

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Originally Posted by Renton

I find that more often than not piss lands on the seat by splashing out of the bowl, regardless of how accurate my aim is.

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You've either got super piss strength or too much water in your bowl .

I sit in the mornings when it's still a bit chubby.

I always lift the seat as a safeguard against unexpected stream forks.

Stream forks can be avoided by inspecting the tip of the penis for stray pubic hairs before pissing.

I thought it was dried spunk.

Dried spunk tends to cause a spray, rather than forking, in my experience.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Renton

I find that more often than not piss lands on the seat by splashing out of the bowl, regardless of how accurate my aim is.

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I find this too, but only in the toilet where i grew up. I aim at the bit just above the water and they jet hits it and sends a mist up all over the rim of the toilet. Frustrating.