"spitecalls", the sons of the tiltdevil
Today i made 2 spitecalls and it was early on at the beginning of my session. I wasn't focused and basically clicked call without any reasoning behind it. I instantly acknowledged it and upped my game.
I went from something like 3 buy ins down to 0.5 buy ins down at the end of the day. My pokerplay was awfull in the beginning and pretty decent after a bad start. On a emotional level i have managed to keep my cool so far. 12k ish hands no feelings of tilt , frustration , remorce about plays. Yes i was upset that i made 2 shitty calls but i quickly realised you can only correct mistakes by being twice as focused , patient and motivated. I cut down my tables from 9-6 to looked into every spot as detailed as i could. It might actually look stupid to c me use the timebank for a 15 bb pot but it helped to reduce the losses for the day. After my horrendous start i kind of felt liberated just by being honest to myself and not get stuck in an emotional rollercoaster. I said out loud ' those were 2 bad calls you could have avoided if you were focused instead of autopiloting and being complacent'. I instantly cut down in tables from 9 to 6 tables. I'm telling you 6 normal speed full ring tables feels like being stuck in traffic , however you get plenty of time to look around and spot details which helped my game and results.
Pokerwise i never achieved something because i had selfconfidence issues which basically always ended up in tilting off bankrolls. I don't know what brought the change of heart. Probably because i feel alot better on a psychological level in real life. I feel like the only thing i need to do is give it my best. Don't look for excuses , don't blame shit on variance. Variance comes with the game, focus on the decision. Mainly be honest to yourself if you made a crappy play and set yourself straight. It doesn't help you if you blame yourself for being stupid in certain spots in the game. Just acknowledge you played it bad, take a deep breath, close a few tables that weren't that great anyway and focus twice as much.
Today i feel like i learned alot on a mental level and i acknowledge that the right mentality that comes with the game is something i will always need to be working on.
gl y'all:cool: