The title says it all. These people are the most aggravating individuals I've ever encountered in my life, and early in my marriage I seriously seriously contemplated divorcing my wife, just to get away from these two douchebags.
Specifically, I'm talking about my wife's mother and her brother. My wife's father died over 20 years ago, I never met him. And I'm not too concerned about the mother. She's old, meddling, pompous, and absolutely hates the fact that I've embraced Jesus Christ as my savior. But she's an old hag, and I can avoid her pretty well.
My brother in law is a completely different story. I could fill pages and pages of with anecdotes of his many many many failings. But basically the short version is that he is approaching 30. Has been enrolled in college in some degree (part time/fulltime/nights) pretty much continuously since he graduated high school.
His professional life includes a modest collection of nametags and hairnets. His most successful endeavor was a coffee-slinging job at Starbucks. He even got promoted once. But ultimately his naive attitude, and complete lack of social tact got him fired when he decided that since the sexist jokes weren't offensive to him, they wouldn't be offensive to anyone else.
He has been supported throughout his 20's financially by his mother. Rent, gas, car insurance, tuition, books, supplies, clothes, shoes, food, everything is paid for by her. He has shown some signs of becoming financially independent, and currently covers about 60% of his bills on his own.
There is SOOOO much more, and I'll get it off my chest someday.
But the real problem stems from his recent descent into madness after the one girlfriend he ever had broke up with him. It was sad, he even gave her an engagement ring that he bought off of a carribean street vendor for $6.
He used a doctor's note from when he was like 9 that said he had ADHD. He took it to a certain doctor who then gave him a prescription for pot, (He lives in CA). He went totally bonkers, and alienated everyone.
One night, he got drunk with some of his friends and called my wife in the middle of the night (we're east coast so it was REAL late here). He and his friends spend a few minutes leaving a VERY raunchy and sexually explicit message on her voicemail.
I was beyond pissed. I called hm back and got his voicemail. I left a very angry (but not threatening) message on his voicemail. I simply explained to him that he was very lucky to be 3000 miles away and that if he ever contacted my wife again, there would be a problem.
his text message back to me was the following "still trying 2 piece the night together, but let me assure you, ever yell at me or demand anything i will slit your throat and bathe in your blood". There were some subsequent texts explaining the he wasn't welcome in my home anymore, and that he is forbidden from having any contact with my family. He responded that he was ok with that.
Well now he has a stable job (not a good or even reasonably paying job), pays about 3/4 of his own bills, has a steady girlfriend (though she's obviously nutso), and is on some kind of track to finish school sometime before he gets to retirement age. My wife went out to CA to visit her mother and saw him. Apparently he's in therapy, off the pot, and kind of has his act together.
He is planning a visit, and my wife has already agreed. I guess I'm kinda pissed that she would do that without really talking to me about it. But ultimately that's a separate issue, and I really didn't have any hope of separating my wife from her only family anyway.
Apparently he told my wife that he plans on apologizing to me for the way he acted. My feeling is that whatever he says is bullshit. I have absolutely zero respect for this guy and am quite sure that there isn't an ounce of remorse in his body.
It also seems really lame to me that almost a year has passed and he hasn't said one word to me. he has my phone number, my email, my address, and my facebook contact info. if he really wanted to apologize he could have done so at any time. It seems highly suspect that the apology will only appear when he's on my doorstep and wants a place to stay.
The way I see it I have two options:
1) The instant I see him, I beat the bag out of him
2) Listen to his apology, then give him a lecture on what I am, and am not going to tolerate in my home, and around my family.
I'm leaning towards #2, but the prospect of #1 and dealing with the aftermath later sounds REALLY tempting.
The idea of accepting his apology and trying to maintain a civil relationship is not happening, so don't suggest it.
Basically, I have to let this guy into my house at some point. I just need some suggestion on how to make sure that he behaves himself.
