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...drive me crazy. I think there are 2 kinds. First the most annoying Smackers. When they chew they open their mouth and you can hear that gross saliva smacking noise. These people also lick their fingers loudly once they are done consuming their food. Second are the heavy breathers. These people sound like it is a struggle to to get enough oxygen in their system. Either way, they must be stopped.
chances are blake is not asian.
3) Slurpers. The people who feel that breathing in whilst inserting the food to create a noisy mix of liquid, air and saliva is a necessary part of the public eating experience.
OM NOM NOM NOM NoM
Annoys the shittttttttt outta me.
You are wiseQuote:
Originally Posted by flomo
4) Open mouth crunchers. Put the goddamn potato chip/crisp in your mouth, close your lips, THEN crunch please. Your mouth is not so fucking small that you need to hold the chip in your fingers and noisily snap off pieces with your teeth. Your lips not only keep food in your mouth, where food belongs, they also keep NOISE in, asshole, so USE THEM!
And YOU...YOU, YOU mouthbreathing throwback that sits one, two, even three rows behind me in the movie theatre and feels the need to stuff fistfuls of popcorn in your mouth and chew it with your mouth open...there's a special place in hell for you, trust me...right next to the constant candy wrapper crinklers, the bottom of the cup soda straw suckers and the irritating ice cube crunchers.
I approve of this thread, btw.
I suck the bottom of the soda and eat the ice. :(
Nothing tilts me more than those bottom of the cup soda straw suckers.
5) people that go "ahhhhhh" after taking a sip of soda
God dammit, I do that too JKDS lol. :(
I don't the annoying shit with real food though.
i can't eat a meal with out my GF complaining about the way I eat.
"Don't talk with your mouthful"
"Don't ask me a fucking question when I'm eating then"
I'm pretty sure I hate Dranger now.
pretty sure your mom likes dranger
6) smackers...*smack smack smack smack*
If I wanted to listen to that I'd eat with my dog.
Yeah, like, hot chicks that suck on lollipops real loud and, like, lick them all over and stuff and slurp and stick their tongues out and get sticky red lips...that's so stupid and gross.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Warpe
Korea baby. a dog isn't just for Xmas. hopefully theres a bit left over for boxing day as well.
almost as annoying as those fuckers who care about how i eat my food
7) Those assholes that eat soup or cereal and bite on their spoon EVERY FUCKING BITE.
You're all freaks. Unless their eating while you're reading a book, you should just be minding your own meal. Who hears other people eating when you've got a delicious plate of much the same in front of you?
BTW, nobody should post pics like this because that would disgust me.Quote:
Originally Posted by BennyLaRue
Stop talking to yourself.
I'm not. I own a cactus, also called Benny LaRue.Quote:
Originally Posted by a500lbgorilla
Or maybe a cactus.
Lol I :heart: rilla
over/under on his gf having an affair?Quote:
Originally Posted by WillburForce
i eat food so awesome that i jerk off on the empty plate.
and your mom cooked it
this is another reason why I eat alone, while at work, when I actually eat there. there's this one woman in the group I used to eat with that would smack-smack-smack her food while she was chewing, talk with her mouth full, etc. she's one of the faaaat teachers in our building. we have a few hotties teaching, but this bitch is on the other end of the spectrum.
I usually drive home (I live 1.4 miles from school) and watch Sportscenter/First Take/ESPNews while eating, though, so this isn't a big deal for me.
the other reason I choose to not eat with people at work is I can't stand the bullshit/politics that go on during eating, it's so not worth it. gossip is cool and all but I'm not here to do that, I'm here to be a badass teacher and fuck you if you think I'm going to sit around with a pansy guy and some fatass women and force myself to converse about bullshit that might be true but probably isn't (the coaches and other people that are cool don't have the same lunch schedule as me).
if I'm eating at school I'd rather spend the time by myself reading bullshit on the internet rather than to listen to their asses. at least I have a choice of what bullshit I read.
ug doesn't get to hang out with the coooooooooooooolllll kidsQuote:
Originally Posted by UG
http://i253.photobucket.com/albums/h...lson_haha2.jpg
I have a bad habit of talking while I eat. But when I try to not do this, I end up eating really slow. I think Im just a slow chewer or something.
Also one of my best friends does the smacking thing, and I dont let it really get to me cuz thats petty and whatnot, but somewhere deep down inside me I know there is this big wad of anger building up everytime I shrug it off.
8) people who are rude to wait staff when you eat out with them. This shit tilts me so hard and completely ruins my meal. Its like hanging out with hitler, sure you didnt kill all those poor jews, but people sure as hell think youre an evil fuck by extension.
thisQuote:
Originally Posted by BuFu690
that grating metal sound is so tilting.
Agree with boost about the whole friends/whoever you're eating with being mean to the waiting staff. I have this friend that is ALWAYS an asshole when we go out to eat, and it makes me want to choke slam the douchebag every time.
9) People who moan while eating like it's the best thing they've ever tasted.
10) People who gulp loudly while drinking.
What About Bob? ftwQuote:
Originally Posted by oskar
I sometimes chew my food with my mouth open. I have no idea how often, but not always. I don't try to, and if I think about it I have no problem keeping it closed. The problem is that I tend to think about the specifics of how I chew as much as I think about the specifics of how I breathe. It just happens.
I also don't always say "excuse me" after I burp.
While being mean to wait staff is retarded, most servers are themselves retarded and don't know wtf they're doing
Curiously, I was very rarely treated poorly by guests because I knew wtf I was doing, and they could tell that any problems were on somebody else's end. I honestly felt more sorry for guests having to wait long or getting shit food or service due to the establishment fucking up than for the servers being mistreated. Somehow, the only servers I worked with who complained about guests were the bad ones
Quote:
Originally Posted by wufwugy
right, but treating them badly pretty much never solves anything. If a server is particularly bad, Ill just leave a bad tip. But being an asshole accomplishes absolutely nothing.
11) People who try their utmost to force-feed you some of what they've got on their fork from the other end of the table, and then nick some of your food. I ordered what I ordered for a reason, damnit.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kiwiMark
ha.. I am a big fan of communal ordering.. I really like to try lots of different stuff. And even if we dont set out to split everything, I do like to try what other people are having.
That being said, Im never forceful with it, and would only do it with someone I know wont mind/likes to try other peoples stuff too.
It's mostly the presumption that annoys me, I think. Like I'm perfectly happy with "How's your x?" "Yeah it's really good, wanna try?" "Cool thanks, have some of y". I just don't like an uninvited fork coming out of nowhere either waving food in front of my face or pinching my meal.
I rarely have any issues at mealtime, but when you're working and someone is doing any of the above at their desk it can really irritate me.
I'm with Boost. But I guess if it's something that should be agreed on beforehand. I'm not surprised that Kiwi is a selfish POS though.
FYPQuote:
Originally Posted by boost
Once, my friends and I underpaid a waitress by like $8 because she sucked so bad. Yeah, I know. I'm a cunt.
I'm not surprised that you american lardasses can't help yourselves once you see food even if it's on someone else's plate.
Man I hate that bufu guy why doens't he get iopq-banned already.
http://i33.tinypic.com/2m83wr8.jpgQuote:
Originally Posted by kiwiMark
iopq banning is like scorching Earth. We only get to do it once.Quote:
Originally Posted by kiwiMark
Its actually not an american thing, but an asian thing. Most americans are like you, and will refuse anyone coming near them...except for those who have become accustomed to an asian style of eating where dishes are just shared around, ex: lazy susan usage in many chinese restaurants.Quote:
Originally Posted by kiwiMark
solution: dont hang out with people who suck
I'm gonna level with you all I just wanted to attack bufu not all of you fatasses.
I HATE HATE HATE people that chew gum loudly. And I hate it when ppl are eating noodles or soup (or both) and they feel the need to slurp loudly (Asians do this ALL THE TIME GAH). And then pretty much everything else written in this thread... yeah I fucking hate loud eaters with a passion.
If I get a bad server, I just leave pennies as a tip. That's so much more demoralizing for the server imo. If you don't leave a tip they might be able to tell themselves that you forgot and move on. If you leave pennies they KNOW that shit was premeditated.
I work with a dude who is fukin loud.
I dread it when he walks in with a big bag of crisps / chips.
AGggggggggggggg!!
Used to have the great pleasure of having a workstation right next to a loud mouthed bitch who ate cereal at her desk. Open mouthed crunching plus *SLUUURRRPPPP* *SLUUURRPPP*...
I used to think hating loud eating noises was my own personal neurosis, but this thread proves I'm not alone.
was she fat? fatness automatically makes it 10x worseQuote:
Originally Posted by Warpe
I wouldn't recommend leaving bad tips. It's not like it's a problem for you, but it doesn't accomplish what you think
There's a lot going on when you're a server, and leaving bad tips will just make things worse for everybody. There's already people who get excellent service and leave terrible tips, and more often than you'd think, those people are responsible for shit going wrong or your server being pissed off.
No matter what the service is like, if you leave a good tip, I guarantee that you make things better for everybody. Especially if you ever plan on returning. I'm not a fan of tipping in the first place, but that's how it is in our restaurant business, and its ramifications aren't really about rewarding service.
One Mother's Day, the first table one of my collegues had gyped him. Left him a few nickles and a dime. He was normally an emotional guy and not necessarily a joy to work with. The gypsies pissed him off, and the rest of the day his tables got subpar service and everybody else who worked with him for the next ten hours tasted his negativity. Even if somebody's service is bad, a good tip will usually make them better because serving is not a complicated job, and mostly has to do with what kind of mood the server is in
Also, it's hard to tell, as a guest, if you actually understand why service may or may not be bad. There's a ton of stuff that goes on that you don't get to see from your table
There are only two people I've known who are better servers than I was, my brother and a guy named Brian. Well, a friend of mine told me a story of how he went to my restaurant, his server was Brian, the service was terrible, and he left a bad tip. This irritated me because I knew full fucking well that Brian did the best he could. Something else went wrong, that my friend didn't notice, yet Brian still paid for it
lol, i had a friend that left 8 cents once...the waiter chased after him and threw it back saying "you forgot your change". I think he may have been fired...but either way the friend thought it was hilarious.Quote:
Originally Posted by dranger7070
Also, trust me when I say that it doesn't bode well for you if you're the kind to leave shitty tips. It's virtually ALWAYS douchebags that ever feel like a bad tip is warranted. I'm not entirely positive because I was really good and actually got higher than average tips, but when you work the job as long as I did, you discover quite easily that it's the cunts with blubbering vaginas, no patience for other people, and terrible analytical skills that feel like they're cool enough to leave bad tips without understanding what's going on
Lots of people in this world are douchebags, and something about douchebags is that they never realize they're douchebags. So if you leave shitty tips maybe you should check yourself for that douchebag gene
I am an excellent tipper. No one tips more generously than me. However, once or twice in my life, I did not tip at all or very well because the service was horrendously bad.
Really? REALLY!?! I thought I just hated people with bad manners:
Misophonia - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Misophonia can cause extreme reactions to some sounds - CTV News
Let's see.. I slurp, suck the bottom of the soda (sometimes crunch the cubes, and sometimes I'll make air bubbles), moan from great food, chew gum loudly, fail miserably at blowing bubbles but try to anyway, play with the gum with my fingers (and I know where they've been!!), and I always make a mess when eating.
hatersgonnahate.jpg
wow I found those links really interesting... I definitely have that to some degree. I don't ever lose control when I get annoyed, but I absolutely despise the eating sounds and want to get away from them as fast as possible.Quote:
Originally Posted by Warpe
If I were in a cubicle next to a loud gum chewer and I had to listen to it every day, I would quit.
Never in my wildest dreams did I think this thread would be this popular.
And i want to add lollipops to the list. Some guy at work just finished one and it was a smackfest like no other. Had to go outside so i couldn't hear it
Guys shouldn't be allowed to buy and/or suck lollipops.
Dude, you make balloon animals and creep out children for a living.Quote:
Originally Posted by BuFu690
Lol @ wuf imo. I only leave a bad tip if the waiter/waitress is a legit cunt to me/my party/whatever. I can look around and see if its hella busy and its taking a while to get my food, I'm not gonna bitch. I'll probably be even more nice than normal because I understand how hectic it can get at times.
But if theres like 3 other ppl in the restaurant and theres 4 waiters and it takes 2 hours for her to ask if I want a fucking refill and their demeanor is just in general piss poor that warrants pennies for a tip imo, and she can go fuck him/herself.
you people are a weird people.
no we
also what do you mean you people?
Quote:
Originally Posted by dranger7070
I actually agree with dranger? wtf is going on? I cannot remember when I last left a bad tip. If there are complications, my food comes out wrong, my food is delayed, the waiter doesnt check up on the table to refill drinks and whatnot.. Thats all fine, shit happens. But if the server is actually rude.. well theres just no excuse for that. You work in the service industry, if you cant put on a fucking smile and be friendly, even when youre in a not so good mood, then go find work elsewhere. Or accept that youll get shitty tips when you act like a cunt.
Second time I posted this clip on FTR: YouTube - Reservior Dogs - Tips For The Tippers
If a waitress wants more money (from say, tips) then she should try her hardest to get more money. If the server is being so excellent and still isnt getting enough money, then she should quit...because for some reason (be it a bad establishment or a bad area for tipping) she decides that the money she earns doesnt equate the work she put in. Thats it, there isnt a fucking pity party, dont give me some sob story and dont tell me im an asshole because i didnt tip the waitress that spilled a drink on me and messed up my order all the while demanding a massive tip. No, im not giving u shit; because the day that servers get automatic 20%'s is the day where they stop giving us refills, and start spitting in our food.
Holy balls! Boost agrees wif me!!!
wow, there's so much to address here.
first off, boog, i love you and all, but you are TRULY a cunt. there is no excuse in the world for not leaving enough money to pay the check. that is ldo theft, and what i infer from your story is that A) you got your food served to you by a servicewoman and B) you got a bill that properly represented the amount you owed, regardless of how disorderly and unpleasant this process took place, not paying for that service, much less TAKING MONEY from that server is inexcusable. underpaying or ditching a bill to spite a server is not being "cheap," it is indisputable theft.
let me put it this way, servers are paid (except for ~2 bucks an hour which is taxed so heavily that pay checks are sometimes literally negative anyway) through tips. if you went to a restaurant, had a server bring you drinks and the food that you ordered and brought you a bill that properly represents the amount that you owe, you were provided a service (regardless of how terribly it was performed) that you are expected to pay for. if you were truly served poorly, then you can dock them a few bucks and only tip them 15% (if you really wanna get them and they were truly terrible, then i guess 10% is somewhat understandable, but that's pretty low). people like to stiff servers when they believe (and i emphasize the word believe) that their server did a bad job because it makes them feel high and mighty and like they accomplished something or "showed them" or did it on principle or some stupid shit, but as wuf pointed out, it accomplishes NOTHING. riding their ass or, best off, complaining to the manager is going to do much much more than stiffing a server. and if you've stiffed a server, then you've robbed service and neglected your obligation to employ someone who at the very least showed up for the job and did the bare minimum (i sincerely doubt that any of these people that any of you people stiffed literally didn't even take a food order). if someone did a horrendous job, you should tip less than 20%, and if the server did something very obviously and indisputably wrong like get an attitude with you or something, then tell the manager, hope that he/she gets fired, and then never go to that restaurant again, or request a different server next time you go in. if you tip any less than 2 on a 15, then all you're doing is making yourself look like an asshole so that the shitty server can just self-justify by going "man what an asshole" and not learn anything from the experience. all this being said, i've never been stiffed for bad service
as for all of this stuff about what constitutes a bad job and all, boost has it right. i can attest to the fact that 90% of all servers at all chain restaurants are just like that chick from Waiting who's been working at Shennanigan's just a little bit too long. they have very short patience, blame their customers for everything, likely get an attitude with a customer here or there, etc. i am not one of those people and the worst attitude i've ever had with a customer/guest is the rare occasion when i've had a bad day or am stressing at work (it is a really stressful job) or something and i have a hard time being smiley and chit-chatty, so i'm just neutral and kinda personality-less. i've never ever ever been sub-neutral, though, so i can't really speak for this, or defend it or anything, and i think it's a pretty inexcusable trait in a server. if a server has a bad attitude, you should tip less than 20%, and if the server was truly god awful (not just like distant or didn't say all the right things or anything, but like truly getting an attitude with you), then tell the manager, hope that he/she gets fired, and then never go to that restaurant again, or request a different server next time you go in.
as for all of the other stuff that has been classified as bad service in this thread, boost is correct in saying that it's just kinda stuff that happens and it is actually the server's fault FAR less often than the customers/guests give credit for. kitchens fuck up, busers fuck up (food gets sent to wrong table so a whole other dish has to be made) and yes, guests fuck up. little known fact, but studies show that when person A says something and when person B recounts to person A what they had said, and they're in disagreement, it's person A who either misspoke or misremembers what they said far more frequently than person B "mishearing." in the service industry (especially in fine dining) when someone says "i didn't order this," the server is supposed to just say "oh i'm sorry, that's my mistake" and take it back and fix it, so that the guest thinks that it's the stupid little server who made the mistake. of course when you say "i'll take a cheeseburger with no pickles" and the burger comes out wtih pickles, that's just usually because the server forgot to put no pickles into the computer. also miscommunications happen between server and guest that's not really either side's fault but it's the server's duty to make it seem like it was their own. a common example is i work at a tapas bar, so people order a lot of dishes and share a lot of things and all, so oftentimes (especially with old married couples) two guests will be having a conversation with each other while both simoultaneously putting their order in and often contradicting each other, etc. for example:
wife: i'll take the gambas, and frank did you want that octopus?
husband: well i don't know, i thought you wanted the calamari, in which case i wouldn't need
wife: {unintelligble chatter amongst themselves}
husband to me (i think): i want octopus
wife is simultaneously shaking her head no.
they proceed to order 4 more tapas.
i had a hard time of thinking of a good example, but you get the point. sometimes this means that they're getting the gambas and the octopus, sometimes it means that they don't agree at all and i'll have to give them more time, sometimes it even means that they're scratching the gambas and getting calamari AND octopus but relayed that info to me poorly, sometimes the husband is being tongue in cheek and gave me a wink that i missed because i was distracted by the wife nodding her head no, and god only knows if i'm supposed to give the octopus to the husband or if they're sharing it and same goes for the gambas, etc. two of orders of the same thing coming out because both members of the married couple ordering it is a common result of this banter too. obviously i ask a lot of questions when confusing banter like this goes on, but things inevitably get misinterpreted every once in a while and some guests get annoyed when you ask too many questions or you come off stupid, etc.
i didn't mean to spend this much time on miscommunications 'cause it isn't the most common thing that goes wrong, but i think it's something that people who haven't worked in the business don't understand because it's obviously always the other asshole that's wrong. it's probably most important to realize that food (especially entrees) taking a long time to come out is almost never the server's fault. especially since nowadays pretty much all restaurants expect all servers to take all food in the window to all tables immediately, the idea of food sitting up in a window getting cold because the server's on a smoke break or something is pretty much a complete myth. sometimes it takes a server a little longer than they should to put it in the computer but it's easily in the minority of cases (a LOT of shit can go wrong in the kitchen, especially when 4+ dishes all have to go out at the same time and especially at a chain restaurant where most cooks aren't smart enough to have a high school diploma). even when the chef/cooks aren't retarded, you'd be amazed if you came to realize how much can go wrong in a kitchen and realize that it's like 10x's more likely something got fucked up there than someone pushing some buttons at a computer.
as for wuf's comments on clientele's attitude having a direct correlation with a server's attitude, i'm guessing based on your experience and the fact that you call people "guests" that you worked in fine dining. since i've started working in fine dining, i've found your comments to be completely true, but at chain restaurants, customers have the capacity to be dicks to you before you even introduce yourself.
jkds, if you've ever stiffed a server just because an order came out wrong or because they spilled a drink on you, then you're an asshole. you got the service, now pay for it, even if it means that you're only gonna pay like 2 on a 15. i actually spilled a drink on a customer before (luckily it wasn't in fine dining 'cause my boss woulda put his boot up my ass), and it's a shitty thing to have happen, and one could maybe argue that it's the worst mistake i've made as a server, but to say that it means that i don't deserve to get paid for doing my job makes you a self-justifying asshole.
cliffnotes: A) when you receive a service, pay for it. fuck you pay the god damn cable guy for coming out even though they're the worst fuckin' customer service reps in the world. get off your high horse, you're not saving the world by stiffing servers.
B) 99% of the time, you have no clue who and how someone fucked up when something gets fucked up, yet your first reaction is going to be to blame your server. even when i'm off the clock, eating at my own workplace, getting service from someone a know, when something goes wrong, there is almost always 100 potential explanations for it, and there's no way for me to know what happened.
wow, that response was 6 pages double-spaced. maybe everyone should just read the cliffnotes
you kinda nailed it
my point wasn't so much about not having justifiable reasons to stiff (even though i completely agree that if you go to a restaurant you should take a minimum level of tipping as mandatory no matter what), but that people who do not understand an industry do not understand that industry.
sure, maybe it's reasonable to stiff for some reasons, but coming from somebody who has a wealth of experience in the industry, the guests are usually wrong about those reasons and don't know it.
also, there are a bunch of systemic problems in the industry that zero guests understand yet they have negative effects on their experience, and im sure nobody here cares to hear about them.
Boo fucking hoo. The only arguement for mandatory tips so far that i've heard is either "you're an asshole" or "its not their fault". Did you know he average salary for a teacher is 35k, wheres there mandatory 20% tip? The average salary for a firefighter is 40k, but he doesnt get a 20% tip either eh? Why? Why do i all of a sudden care about how much someone gets paid because its a waitress in a dinner or a restaurant? And btw, not all servers are paid $2 an hour, some are paid as much as $7. So why again am i obligated to tip them when they provide shitty service? Oh noes, its not their fault. Oh noes, its a job that many college women can get to support themselves cause they can make 15 an hour at some places....fuck off. If you dont like your salary for the work you put in whats stopping you from finding another job?
Teacher, 35k
Firefighter, 40k,
Wait staff working a 50 hour week $7/hr, 7 * 50 * 52 = 18k