Poker and the Self - The Karma Yoga of NLHE
There are two kinds of poker players, well, let's say there are:
1. The emotional
2. The scientific
The first is more commonly found in the beginner's circle and the second is more commonly found on their way out of the beginner's circle and often higher and higher stakes. The distance between the two extremes is 'the path'. Some people may not need to take such a path if they're not too emotional to begin with. Whether one is or not is often tied into psychological ties WITH the effect of winning/losing at poker or perhaps games/life in general but certainly with the 3 questions below.
Like all passionate hobbies, one's Self can be expressed into and worked with via the medium of the hobby. In our case, the more stuck in #1 someone is, the more work they have to do to reach #2: the successful exponent of NLHE. The Tao can be found in just about any practice from dancing to martial arts and even motorcycle maintenance.... but in this case, it certainly can be found in poker (see previous post by me inspired by a chat with Spoon... where is he these days?). Let's just define Tao as being totally centered and acting upon what is 'best' rather than what our desires tell us. Hence poker becomes our karma in action or 'karma yoga' and we, hand after hand after hand, watch ourselves move this way and that as the bad beat poker demons taunt us like The Buddha under the bodhi tree, taunted by the lords of illusion... ultimately The Buddha's ego and nothing external at all.
So, questions:
1. What does winning MEAN to you?
2. What does losing MEAN to you?
3. Why are you playing poker?
How our minds route the associations with 1 and 2 can drastically effect our migration from the #1 scenario to the #2 scenario. The 3rd question is rather straightforward. Unfortunately, if the answer to 3 is something like: to win consistently (and usually it is), then the answer to question 1 AND 2 must be: absolutely nothing. I say unfortunately because by god it's near impossible to think that clearly. We don't play to win or lose, we play to grow. Or so i've come to understand, slowly if even at all.
If the answer to 1 and 2 is rather substantial, and being honest it is for me, then there is much work to be done and ours is a path of living hell, especially if poker itself is a huge priority in life. We will pay for our learning with blood and indeed sweat and probably tears too.
And there are some who would suggest that the more 1 and 2 mean to you, the more you will manifest hardship within those spheres of learning, perhaps even going as far as to suggest that the very fact you're playing is to work through it. This is, however, pretty deep shit. Though some may subscribe with useful and deeply personal benefits. Yes poker CAN get that deep. For now let's come back down to earth.
I once trained, in part, in psychotherapy. This gave me a rich and compassionate understanding for personal growth, the most important concept within any form of good psychotherapeutic training is simple, Jebus seddit too: don't judge people. We're all going through what we're going through for a reason, allow for it, and also, don't judge ourselves, this too holds us back. It also draws parallels with #1 vs #2 principles above: look scientifically at it, there's a reason behind someone's expression. The #1 response is anger, blame, resentment, judgment, hatred. The dark side, hmmm? I think it was Ghandi that said: understanding is the mother of compassion.
To get to the heart of an issue we must try to be more like #2. To help others AND ourselves.
So, knowing this, will we suddenly stop tilting??
Hell no. Hand me the baseball bat as i pound myself in the brains knowing full well i'm stupid and shouldn't have called/should have raised etc. I think they call this cognitive dissonance.
So what can we do, hand by hand?
For those mired in stage #1, one must begin by merely becoming conscious of any tilt. Even if it means taking a deep breath, admitting you're making a bad decision, and making the call. One day you'll take the same deep breath, and fold. Perhaps say out loud: I AM MAKING A BAD DECISION. Then call. Then do a session review and remember when you made your 'bad decision' and know full well why you lost. Eventually, over time, we may find we stop making those bad plays and even stop feeling emotional in the first place. Watch the hand you're on, and ask yourself how much emotion is invested in the hand. Then based on that, what is that emotion doing to your left mouse button via your finger.
DO NOT: pressure yourself into stopping making all bad decisions immediately. Have some grace. Do it gently and steadily. The is a process not a decision.
Fail safe method? shut down the tables. Unfortunately, if tilt is strong enough, nothing is shutting those tables down as you open MORE tables to win back the money. Again, force yourself to ask if you're doing the right thing, respond with a loud: NO, and carry on. The poker career is long enough for it to sink in one day. Just remember that such a path is longer than most.
The self is continuously manifesting in the game until the self is removed one microgram at a time and only reason is left. Until then, have compassion for each other, help those who truly want it. Watch yourself tilt from your higher self. Adjust your answers to questions 1 and 2. Poker is a game of money, money is our master unfortunately (on one level), and money brings along with it MASSIVE karma and consequence. So do watch yourself carefully or poker will tear your soul apart.
I'd like to dedicate this post with actual love to my fellow forum members, especially those who have put up with my bullshit over the last 10 months since playing. My journey from #1 to #2 will be long and hard and isn't even close to being fathomed... and there will probably be more rants, but for now it's at least enough that i'm aware of it ;)
