i threw up on my Gran :drunk: :puke: :oops:
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i threw up on my Gran :drunk: :puke: :oops:
i tried to fight my freinds dad the first time i got drunk off scotch.
Got taken to jail and was put in a holding cell with some bald muscle guy who looked like mr clean.
i plead the fifth
gay sex
My teacher came out clubbing with us once and I rubbed my crotch on her way too much.
ghost rode my car into a fence
I kissed David Guest.
just the std puking all over myself and my friends couch.
my friend also brought over 2 pizzas to a party i had at my house once. no one had yet had one piece and he put them on the table in front of me. within 5 mins i puked all over them and no one enjoyed pizza that night! oh then i fell asleep in it.
STD puking?
lost a small fortune
I've done a lot of dumb drunk driving shit. It's dumb enough to do as is, but in one night I:
- did donuts in the bar parking lot until my friend who was hanging on to the hood went flying off rolling into the road almost getting hit by a cop car (who just kept on going for some reason)
- when the same friend was hanging halfway out the window to take a piss I took a hard left causing him to fly out the window and end up all over the road again.
- pulled a 180 going about 90km/h while both friends were sitting on their respective window sills to shout stuff at people. Somehow they didn't fall out this time.
- did a lawn job on the front yard of a dangerous individual who knew who we were and happened to be right in his window watching the whole thing.
- did a nother lawn job later. As soon as we drove off the lawn I looked up and there was an occupied cop car parked on the road no more than 4 houses distance away. Somehow he didn't see or didn't car.
That's my worst night of drinking and driving. There was plenty of other dumb shit but those were the highlights. Needless to say I stopped drinking and driving after that night when I woke up and thought about how dangerous everything was. It's just fucking retarded and I'm lucky I'd never lost my license because even though that was the worst night there's still plenty of other stories.
Ive done my share of dumb drunk driving too-probably very lucky to be alive and that I never killed anyone.Quote:
Originally Posted by Galapogos
I wrecked a friends truck on my 21st birthday and don't remember it. I just remember waking up in jail. I guess
for some really stupid reason I told the cops I stole the truck too.
Have driven home a few times and dont remember.
I dont drive when I am drinking amymore.
Yeah lucky you never lost your license, thank god :roll:Quote:
Originally Posted by Galapogos
Drinking is fun, doing dumb shit when you drink is even more fun. Drinking and driving... I lose instant respect for people who do it.
ya you know, where youre eating out a chick who has herpes, then puke all over her because one of her warts starts oozing and got in your mouth.Quote:
Originally Posted by a500lbgorilla
tagged a fat chick...well, actually, a fat UGLY chick
I was 19 and camping with friends. They were all asleep and I was still wide awake and wanted to have some fun. Got really drunk and stoned and picked up a garbage bag. For some reason I felt like walking around the campsite and beach picking up garbage, so I did so. Many people approached me to ask what I was doing and why. So I told them the truth: I wanted to clean up this place! It was late but I met so many cool fun nice people, including a few guys down at the beach. I was passing my pipe around with them when I noticed there was a girl behind me... I didn't see her, just knew she was behind me. So without turning around, I reached behind me offering her a drag from my pipe. Right then I hear "She's 14!" From what sounded to be her mother. It was. I still didn't turn around. Looked at the guys I was with and said: "well, I'm off."
I know it's not terrible illegal, and I've done my share of illegals, but for some reason this story strikes me as being really immoral. I've had a small place in the pit of my stomach from that moment ever since.
Drew's story reminds me of the time I had a 3-way with a mother-daughter pair at uncle jimmy's trailer park, only I wasn't exactly trying to clean up the place... :oops:
That story has Jerry Springer written all over it.
playing poker and having sex with fat chicks
LMAO
Theres not enough space on the server. so I wont even start to tell.
you serial?Quote:
Originally Posted by Deanglow
howd that go
please don't answerQuote:
Originally Posted by wufwugy
bring back memories?Quote:
Originally Posted by Warpe
Warpe, How fat is FAT?
Lol, well and obviously all the other bad shit that can come of drunk driving. What's actually tragic though is in BC if you're caught drinking and driving you're very very likely to only get a 24 hour suspension. So the only way you're ever charged is once you actually hurt someone/yourself.Quote:
Originally Posted by ProZachNation
LOL in the Alps we hitched into the nearby ski resort to go out like 5 miles away and assumed getting back to be a 'cross bridge when get to it' thing. Bridge arrived, no go, no taxis or anything, so a gang of us bumble homeward in like -3 degres or watever. i d already done the walk once and hadn't liked it as it was chilling and i'd missed most of my day off having arrived at 6am. our gang hotwire a truck but no room for me to clamber in, proceed to watch them drive slowly and unspectaclarly into ravine, they get out disgruntled but intact. truck on its side in ravine. undeterred, gang rally the troops and hit the road. some guy stops at 4 am for half of us on mountain road. fuck the other half, losers. (comprising me) squat in a nearby cupboard in a residence thats door was unlocked. got found by janitor who garbles french in my face
Not amused by his gallic malaise (or is that garlic mayonnaise)???? I stumble out with vodka mouth and vacuum smell. feeling nauseaous i exit in the wrong direction and end up coming back to the ravine at which an old guy is gesturing in a disappointed manner at the truck on its side in ravine.
happy days
[/quote]Quote:
Originally Posted by bigspenda73
gg spenda, n1, i loled pretty hard
strangely, it took me much longer than I thought it would to find it.
def. worth it tho
started peeing on a car tire before we left a party, heard a tapping and couldn't figure out what it was. Finally focused in on the window and realized there were like 6 girls in the SUV I was peeing on freaking out...so I turned around to the car behind me and continued, felt the car door hit me in the ass as a girl got out...
I admit that I pashed a guy once at a beer festival organised by the Conservative Party of Austria (I'm a socialist). We went up on stage and did a pash and some ass grabbing for what seemed like 5 minutes before we got kicked off. Needless to say I remember it being revolting so I knew straight away that I am 100% hetero.
Also I had very wild and loud sex once with a girl on the floor of a gym. The only problem was that there were about 30 others in the same gym sleeping (it was a volleyball tournament) and I only found out the next day that we woke almost all of them up but none of them tried to stop us because we both had this really wild/aggressive sex with lots of slapping (both ways).
Also I slept with the mother of a girlfriend of mine once. I sensed that there was something wrong in the relationship and so I went over to her place to cry my heart out to her mother. We both got drunk and did it in the kitchen. I was 20 and I think she was about 53 but still good looking. Funny enough I had sex (for the last time) on the same kitchen table with my girlfriend the next day. I think the husband must have known because I got a threating letter within the week that I should never show my face at their house again.
Will I find absolution?
u are my new heroQuote:
Originally Posted by silu73
:shipit:Quote:
Originally Posted by silu73
/thread
reminds me of thisQuote:
Originally Posted by silu73
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0TLA_f7S0cw
I don't do stupid shit when I'm drunk.
I climb shit so at times people think I'm being stupid, but I'm not.
One time I decided to wrestle everyone in my house one-on-one and finished 8-0, getting dropped in <60 sec almost everytime.
Something coul happm now?
there are too many will641 stories for him to get away with pleading the fifth.
-pissed down my friends carpet stairs
-told a cop that she was fucking ugly and they tackled and cuffed him
-got out of a car 20 shots deep, fell on his face and needed someone to help him piss
-saw keanu reeves swimming in Point Blank and exlaimed "damn! look at the ass!"
the list goes on and on
Snorted a whole bunch of coke and drove my dad's rental car through a back yard with 1.5 ft of snow, right into a fence. RUN IT!
Quote:
Originally Posted by thizzSantaCruz
how is this not getting love, and no its not gay shit, its about the mother of a gf thing. WATCH IT. you will not be dissapointed.
omg dude thats so fucking awesomeQuote:
Originally Posted by thizzSantaCruz
i wanna be that guy
of course i also wanna be this guy
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/83205576cd
Before I EVER do this, I am letting my friend piss down his leg. Does that make me a bad friend?Quote:
Originally Posted by Schiplt
um...'bout as fat as spoonitnow's shame...but somewhat fuglier.Quote:
Originally Posted by mrhappy333
Was camping with a bunch of buddies at a place in Ontario. We got really bent out of shape then these chicks came over from another campsite. I like to think I was taking one for the team 'cause the rest of the chicks weren't half bad. Hit it in the back of my buddy's '68 Chevelle. I kinda shuddered the next day though.
In the morning, we woke up to see these shiny shoes at the end of some perfectly creased pantlegs with yellow stripes down the sides standing outside our tent. The cops had been called to evict us so I didn't have to see the chick again, thank god.
The Chevelle overheated on the way back to Toronto 'cause the radiator was low, so my genius buddy decided that topping it up with beer would be a good idea. It got us back to the city but the car never ran quite the same after that.
He was nuts. Last I heard he went States-side and joined the Marines.
Speaking of car sex, this was my first car back in the late 70's. Best car ever for front seat sex:
http://www.carnut.com/show/02/skat/kat148.jpg
1963 Lincoln Continental sedan. Believe the motor was a 430. Got 7 mpg.
I actually have a bad habit of shoving a friend from behind when they're drunk into the bushes they're pissing on. I think that's worse, so you can't be all that bad.Quote:
Originally Posted by Silly String
Thanks man, I'd roll with you anyday Galapogos.
Hey Warpe, did your boat have faux bullet holes too? Me thinks they are a nice touch.
didnt wrap it up.
didnt pull out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by wufwugy
halarious, its so ridiculous when hes roller skating snorting a rail through a huge straw.
just realized there's multiple versions of this. this one doesn't have that scene.
lol, no bullet holes, but the shocks were shot :lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by Silly String
thing weighed about 2 tons , so I wasn't afraid of nothin'