This story involves my balls, yes! Really! Read on!
Alright so most of you (whom are important) should remember my "so im shaving my balls, right" thread. Now this is kind of a cute follow up.
Lets take it back a bit to last saturday. Im at my cousins place and he shows me his new atv, and his dads. They jsut fixed them up apparently and they ran nicely (or so i think, not an atv guy). Anyways ill spare the details and tell you that i took a corner too fast, clipped a pole with the back tire and flipped the atv.
Its funny how your first instinct is to try to fix the situation, i didnt think bail, i thought GAMBOOOL i can suckout and not crash. I really didnt notice I was literally in a flip.
Anyways I bailed out hard on my right shoulder. Dislocated it pretty well. Hospital, 4 hours later, xrays come back negative and im sent home.
So im kind of down, also my right arm is my good arm.
Its tuesday, and im coming back from an errand and I stop at a lady-friends house to say hi and hang out a bit.. it had been a while.
So anyways this friend of mine is a pretty decent friend id say, we were friends in every sense of the word and not more; or so I thought. *Grade 12 literacy taught me that a bit of foreshadowing goes a long way in a story retelling*
She makes a crack about me not being able to jerk off. Not being able to jerk off, i forced a sullen laugh-whimper. She gives the newborn-puppy "awww" and then has the great idea to give me a hand. (Im on fire). So shes jerking the cock.
Now the thing is that I hadnt shaved my junk in a good week and a half because 1- it was hard to shave with my arm, and 2- I was busy and didnt think I was going to get anything, and 3- I had no idea I was going to be getting anything during this meet-up. So I hope it didn't leave a bad impression.
And then I ask her to suck the balls (just for the forumers!) and she gave me a "dude, im jerking you off. thats it. I dont do that shit" .. like seriously. Some girls just dont get it.
Anyways I cum all over her sheets. I was fully loaded and i had a good 4 or 5 days of sizzurp that was waiting to be released. So she takes them off and piles them up downstairs by her washing machine.
So im a young lad, and most of the girls I know still live at home; she was no exception. Her dad comes home, by this time it was an hour from the release and she had made her bed again and we were watching full metal jacket. Its really ironic actually, considering what happens next.
I guess he had wash going, so he went downstairs and I guess he noticed the splooge. I hear the guy shout "what the fuck" and he calls down his daughter. Now by this time im kind of curious and paranoid about whats going on. 30 seconds later, i hear him say 'WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT"
(what the fuck, what the fuck is that!) - full metal jacket. spooky!!
so by the time i hear this i pretty much make up my mind about this being a bad situation. So i gimp out of there and walk home.
Cliff notes:
ATVs are unsafe
Handjobs are overrated
Dont leave cumstained sheets exposed if your an 18 year old girl
full metal jacket is an awesome movie
