The title didn't have enough space but.... heard of?
paraphrasing in a conversation she told me I was wrong about the definition of vulva, when in fact she was really wrong!
Printable View
The title didn't have enough space but.... heard of?
paraphrasing in a conversation she told me I was wrong about the definition of vulva, when in fact she was really wrong!
that the pee hole was above the clitoris.
I was talking to vincent's girlfriend earlier.
To be more specific, I'm referring to the entire conversation.
:shipit:
sorry v, mark that down as low blow #2. I owe you. Or something like that.
I think this one has potential...
ZOMG!!!Quote:
Originally Posted by vqc
Are all the England players English?
i love you.
How about the classic
'If you don't know, I'm not going to tell you.'
Last ski season
I swoosh down a narrow tree lined slope with blind corners at high speed
girl I'm skiing with arrives 10 secs later, exclaims
"You shouldn't go so fast, what if you meet someone coming the other way?"
playing snakes and ladders.
i throw six and land on the tail of a snake.
'well go up the snake then stupid' she says
rofl4eva.
Ok-some background info... I work at a restaurant- sometimes bussing, other time serving, whatever. Well this time I was bussing, and if you are not familiar with that I was cleaning tables, bringing the shit into the kitchen for the dishwasher, then spraying down the table with sanatizer spray and wiping it down.
One day it was really slow, so I was hanging out in the break room with this good looking, yet not-so-smart woman. We were laughing and having a good time, then she said some stupid remark (I don't remember what) but I just said fuck it and took my sanatizer spray and sprayed it at her.
She gets out of her chair...runs away from the spray... and says
"Do you know how unsanatary that shit is???"
:roll: I cant make that shit up :roll:
We're camping and my friend and his girlfriend and I are walking down some trail. My friend has to take a shit, so being the classy guy that he is he decides to squat right in the middle of the trail and do it right there (we were pretty done at the time).
Of course a big fight with his girlfriend ensues. And one of her biggest problems was, "What if somebody thinks it's dog shit and steps in it??"
Yeah I could see that, "Hey dog shit! I'm gonna step in it... WAIT! Oh gross! I just stepped in people shit!"
You guys ever see that commercial...
The guy says "Hey I'm Chris." Hot ditzy chick says "OH I'M CHRISTINE HOW FUNNY HAHAHAHAA!" ?
I don't think it gets worse than that.
That running the air conditioner in her car give her better gas mileage. No kidding.
Actually, if the air isn't too high then you waste less than what is caused by the extra drag from open windows.Quote:
Originally Posted by EricE
Mythbusters. amirite?Quote:
Originally Posted by swiggidy
That's not where I saw it, but they probably did.
<hijack>
I'd be willing to say that it's common knowledge. Especially if you're in the freeway doing 70+. The drag of open windows causes the motor to work harder (more fuel) to maintain the speed than it would by having the A/C Compressor running. And when the engine is at 3000+ rpm, the compressor doesn't pull that hard anyway.
Stop n go traffic would be another situation though.
Your mileage may vary.
</hijack>
-Kes
winner - lmfaoQuote:
Originally Posted by Galapogos
i thought the mythbusters proved that having ur windows open was more fuel efficient than having ur AC on.Quote:
Originally Posted by Kessler
You're right vqc, the drag is minimal compared to gas used from running the A/C
i remember mythbusters said its more gas efficient to leave your tailgate up than to put it down.
ya, cuz with the tailgate up it creates an airbubble that streamlines the car.Quote:
Originally Posted by Greedo017
i <3 the mythbusters
you <3 MB but you fucked it up. they said its better to have the AC on than windows down.
wwas this the epsisode where they drove two identical trucks around a track?Quote:
Originally Posted by bluey
You fucking donkeys. They said BOTH THINGS. When less than 45 mph, leave the windows down. When over 45, AC on. There was a "correlation" to that episode that clarified their stance. So many people emailed them and said that they were full of crap that they revisted it. The above was their conclusion.
sweet thnx for clarificationQuote:
Originally Posted by euphoricism
Cool, so what happened if my razor scooter only goes 15 MPH? Windows up or down?
P.S. It's wheels have lights that glow on and off, they're like speed wheels or something.
man my gf says some great ones but I cant quite think of any right now..
oh yah, one that she said today...
We are on the highway, and theres a VW bug ( a new one) with a body kit on it. She goes "the new bugs look so stupid" and Im like "wait, what do you mean by 'the new bugs?" And she thought cuz it had a couple aftermarket things on it, it was the new reredesigned bug. I thought that was pretyt funny.
hah theyre all flooding back to me now, heres a really good one...
Me and a freind had a conversation about the retardedness of burying our dead. I was telling my girlfreind about this conversation and explaining how he was so dumb. He laughed at me because I said its a waste of space and eventually the whole world would be one big graveyard. So Im kinda reiterating the converstaion. Saying how I poiinted out that sure itw as fine when there where only a couple million people on the earth, the horizon seemed like it was billions of miles away. Forests spread forever and then some. And I made a comment about how population changes with time. I forget how I stated it exactly but it was in a way that didnt directl ysay "as time moves on in general there are more and more people." I go on some more hten 2 minutes later she stops me and says "wait, were there more people back then or now"
-----
I just stared at her for a minute and she gets all embarassed, but she still doenst know because she goes "well dont be an ass, just tell me"..... She honestly wasnt sure if there were more people in 1000bc or now.
i don't know either - We've had lots of plagues and slaughtering and wars and stuff, plus, im pretty sure there was no census takers back then....so what is it?
:)
Here is mine - I had to call a lady in California. I asked her to fax me a copy of some invoice I needed or whatever and she said "your in seattle, right? What is the time zone difference up there?"
took me a few seconds and finally i told her there was none, but i was kinda taken aback just a bit - Like yeah, seattle is its own special time zone...doesn't matter that its on the west coast like Cali or anything....i think that was the dumbest thing i've heard a woman say
OK, True story. I was buying a new hard drive or something at an office supply store and this lady tells me her CD drive is not working in her PC. She says the CDs keep getting stuck and she has to use a tweezers to get them out each time. I offer to come over and take a look at it since she only lives a couple of blocks away. Turns out she has a 5-1/4 floppy drive and has been trying to get CDs to work in it! I was ROTFL.
Yes ma'am I'll come over and see if I can "help" you. When I'm done, we can check out my nice big hard drive. I gaurantee you'll like it more than any floppy you've had. No need for those tweezers though... Wakka Chikka Wakka Chikka
You know the song that goes..
Girl, you really got me now
You got me so I can't sleep at night
You really got me
you really got me
Well, a girlfriend of mine thought the lyrics were
Girl, you really got me now
You got me so I can't see batman
This is also the girl who told me she knocked off one of her nipples when she tripped and fell hard on the sidewalk as a preteen. Then she told me it grew back. I was like WTF, was it your baby nipple? Did you put it under your pillow so the nipple fairy could come and leave an orgasm under the pillow?
thats not stupid - I'm REALLY bad with songs - Like the Damnit song by Blink - I thought the words were "i guess Sissy's Growing Up" - When it's actually "i guess this is growing up" - And it was one of my fav's - Also, the stupid Van Halen Rock the Cradle song...I thought they were saying "And the Freedom, will Rock...Yeah the Freedom, Freedom will Rock - Rock ON!" instead they were actually saying "And the Cradle, will rock" -
It wasn't until getting SIRIUS and actually seeing titles did I know many of my old favorites :)
Some of these are not that stupid....
One of my friends thought (though in 4th grade) thought Vagina was actually Bagina....
Sorry you missed the punch, but the Big Dick Thread may have just beat you to it - not every thread can spark passion and enthusiasm like that one did...Your like the 2nd guy who landed on the moon - We know your trying to be Neil, but you just can't be :)Quote:
Originally Posted by IowaSkinsFan
rofl...the porno music track makes itQuote:
Originally Posted by Galapogos
wtf you arent sure if there are more people now then before? And census is a roman word, dork. Im pretty sure that the ancient chinese and japanese had thier own census too.
Obviously the earths population has had drops. The black plague killed either 1/3 or 2/3's of europe (I forget which.) But I think that its common sense that overall the number of humans inhabbiting earth has increased since the first humans emerged.
this quote from a website I found when googling says it all...
http://www.historylearningsite.co.uk/ancient_rome.htmQuote:
Ancient Rome was the largest city in the then known world. It is thought that Rome’s population was over 1 million people when the city was at the height of its power.
Uhh, my mom says all kinds of stupid crap.
She though that Oliver Wendell Holmes was a dectective over in England. Thats the only one I can remember right now.
Uhh my brother once told a girl she was an "airhead" and she responded with "what kind?" Meaning like... what flavor, as in the Airhead candy.
I dont know who this holmes guy is but it is funn ythat she thought you menat sherlock...
Uhh Oliver Wendell Holmes was a poet/author, his son Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr. was cheif justice of the supreme court.Quote:
Originally Posted by boostNslide
Quote:
Originally Posted by IowaSkinsFan
thats what i thought when i was that old...
My mates mum said
"Who was it who wrote the Hutton report again?"
"...er....that would be Lord Hutton..."
My mom was giving me a ride home from school back in the day. And it had snowed the night before so everywhere is covered in white. She looks at the mountains in the distance and commented, "Oh wow, look at how far the snow level has dropped on the mountains!" Hmmmm...
My GF claims to be a die hard yankee fan. We're driving home one day and we didn't start the fire comes on by Billy Joel. When he says the "Brooklyn's got a winning team" line, she goes YEAH YANKEES!!! I ask her wtf she's talking about and she's says "you know, the Brooklyn bombers."
I laughed the rest of the ride home.
"Philosophy is easy."
I worked with this hot blonde once who, with the straightest face ever asked - "What is the difference between Mexico and New Mexico?" I couldn't stop laughing for weeks after that one.
I have 2 Labrador Retrievers & I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.
I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.
You're my hero.Quote:
Originally Posted by kelly_kabob
[quote="bigred"]You're my hero.[/quote]Quote:
Originally Posted by kelly_kabob
ZOMG!!
ROTFLMAO.
hahah good shit
I have a good one..
Im in cali wiht my girlfreind. Her and 3 of her freinds are renting a house for college. Im staying there with her right now. Thier neighbor has like a rock garden thing. They were commenting on how ugly it is and they didnt understand the point of it. I was like "actually it makes a lot of sense, whats stupid is that lawn you guys have." They both looked really puzzled so I went on to explain that we are in a desert and it takes so much to maintain a good lawn in such an envoiorment. My girlfreinds like "yah but were not in a like desert desert!" And Im like "uhh.. yes we are... this is a desert." She says "yah but doesnt there have to be no water?" I explain to her that technically a desert is a desert by definition if it has under a given amount of rainfall per year. (there are exceptions, those being on the north and south poles in certain areas where there is very low percipitation, but plenty of water, in a frozen state ofc.) Anyways it was even funnier if you were there because she kept trying to say "but theres a whole ocean right there" and I kept saying "no..." and trying to explain that its the rainfall, and also that the ocean is salt water, which would kill the grass anyways. But she kept trying to say her point which I had already anticipated. She got all upset cuz she thought I was being a jerk...
Her freind then says "you cant drink salt water?" and I just respond "sure you can... if you dont mind your stomach drying up and turning into a little shriveled ball."
This story kinda makes you look like a nerd though..Quote:
Originally Posted by boostNslide
WE SPANK NERDS WITH MOON ROCKS. DROP YOUR SWEAT PANTS.
kinky
Quote:
Originally Posted by kelly_kabob
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: OMGROFLMAOLOL this one wins for :lol: :lol: :lol: sure :lol:
I look like a nerd because I know that Im in a desert? Im a nerd because I know that salt water iwll kill you? If that makes me a nerd.. well.. umm.. Im glad to be a nerd I guess..
Nah I just said that cuz I didn't really understand it.Quote:
Originally Posted by boostNslide
bah fuck you... you suck at life... Im about to split from ftr and attack you, then we'll see who's laughing...
heh i was just about to ask if you play TW too but then I noticed an attack rofl - more like 4 attacks even.. anyway, I do suck.. I fuxxed up my exams again :(Quote:
Originally Posted by boostNslide
Friend: I was reading an article today how 11% of women and 23% of men have aids. It didn't mention any stats about gays or drug abuse though
Kinda freaked me out though - 1 in 4?!
Me: When you look at it that way...
Friend: not to mention that shit goes right through condoms
Me: ummm, I don't think so
Friend: look it up
where did she get these percents.... 23% of all men have aids, zomg wtf?
And it goes right through comdoms... umm ... durr....
I was talking to Musch (tribalWars) and I rememberd this story. It actually happened to my roomate.
It was a history class and the professor was talking about Alfred Noble. He described how he built his fortune, but died alone.
Some girl asks "What did he do with all the money?"
A girl i was working with last summer came up with loads, can't remember many right now, but just remembered that she thought aeroplanes had to avoid crashing in to clouds which had us all cracking up and her really confused until someone explained to her that clouds aren't solid...
"I love you"
Lethal. :DQuote:
Originally Posted by PU$$Y
Why it is good to be a man?
1. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
2. Your orgasms are real. Always.
3. Your last name stays put.
4. The garage is all yours.
5. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
6. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
7. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
8. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
9. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
10. Same work .. more pay.
11. Wrinkles-add character.
12. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
13. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
14. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
15. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
16. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
17. One mood, ALL the damn time.
18. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.
19. A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase.
20. You can open all your own jars.
26. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me.".
27. No maxi-pads.
28. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
29. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
30. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
31. You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes.
32. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
33. Your belly usually hides your big hips.
We were having some random discussion at work, and this girl said a sheep was a female goat, funny, but that's not the dumbest part.
We gave her sh*t for a while about it and so she defended herself:
"LOOK, this is as close as I will ever get to a sheep *tugs on her shirt*....COTTON!"
I laughed for a good 5 minutes before I could ask her how slaves in the southern US were able to keep the sheep still long enough to pick the cotton off of it.
This isn't really "stupid", just a tasty lapse:
My sister had some work done on her car and then something else went wrong and she was pist. She told me "I'm taking this back to them and I'm just gonna come right out and imply that they did something to mess it up"
Mrs. LeFou thought the song from Friends went likeQuote:
Originally Posted by Rondavu
"Your jobs a joke, you're broke, your love life's the oa.."
As in "Your love life's the oasis". She didn't have any good theories about why they stopped before saying "sis".
My wife was throwing a bachelorette party for her friend in LA. As part of the party she purchased a number of panties for the bachelorette to open everytime she got a question right about her fiance. Needless to say these were a combination of gag panties, frumpy panties, and sexy panties. The first few opened were "grandma" panties. Then she finally opens a thong of the sexy variety and one of the blonde girls pops off with:
"Where in the world do you find underwear like that in Missouri?"
I guess she thought we don't have internet in Missouri either.
Later that night a person asked her which Kansas City she lived in? The one in Missouri or the one in Kansas?
I am dumbfounded by the lack of general knowledge that girls in LA seem to have.