Post all useless anecdotes here please.
Let's see what we can come up with.
Printable View
Post all useless anecdotes here please.
Let's see what we can come up with.
I think we should turn this into a thread where members post naked pictures of themselves.
Bonus points if you're aroused.
Heres me: (kinda stiffish flop)Quote:
Originally Posted by Greedo017
http://itchylot.com/ck/ck.sabato6a.jpg
Next person post a joke with a camel in it.
one hump or two? hahahahha
http://www.bitoffun.com/images/wei-humpme.jpg
"is it gay, to play, putt-putt golf with a friend, and watch his butt-butt when he tees off... but but I aint done yet...
in football a quarterback yells out hutt hutt while he reaches in another grown man's ass... grabs on his nuts but just what gives, it was never meant, it was just an accident... but he tripped fell slipped and his penis went in, his teeny tiny little round hiney and he didn't mean it but his little weenie flinched just a little bit... and i don't need to go into anymore detail but... what if he pictured it as a females butt... is that gay? I just need to clear things up, till then I'll just walk around with a manly strut..."
-eminem
"god dammit you little muther fukker if you ain't got nothin nice to say, then don't say nothin... uhhh....
fuk that shit bitch, eat a muther fukkin dick, chew on a prick, and lick a million muther fukkin cocks per second, i'd rather put out a muther fukkin gospel record... i'd rather be a pussy whipped bitch, eat pussy and have pussy lips glued to my face with a clit-ring in my nose, than quit bringing my flows..."
-eminem.
(sorry guys, rough day - nothing like a little violent ass rap music to relieve some stress)
Ass Rape music?
Things did not get off to a good start in here.
PWNED!
FTRs longest thread has been locked after 9 posts.
And then unlocked after 10.
LIVEBOON OR DIE TRYING
-'rilla
Get 'em, Rilla!
http://www.ursulascostumes.com/Masks/GORILLA.jpg
BADABING! I LEARNED TODAY TO NEVER PLAY OUTSIDE OF YOUR BANKROLL UNLESS YOU WIN!
that mask is so fucking scary.
Underoo guy was worse...Quote:
Originally Posted by vqchuang
Did you hear about the fire at the circus? it was INTENSE.
STupid jokes sound even more stupid online.
his lack of clothing was disturbing.
Do you know why im so fat?
Its because every time i do your mum she gives me a cream cake :wink:
Oh and
what do you call a scottish coat hanger?
angus mccoatup
:? :roll:
(thats bad)
Edit : Never ass-ume mofo.
Assumption is the muver of all fuck ups (under siege 2)
and
chance favours the prepared mind (same film)
(i suppose its true)
Oh yeah and the best random thing ive heard recently.
(courtesy of fnord)
GAMBooL !!!!!!
:P :P :P :P
I like air conditioning.
-'rilla
not when its cold outside.
YES!!!!!Quote:
Originally Posted by Tim Vecchioni
50-400 in 4 days baby!!!
rofflecopter x2
My mother told me, when I was about 12, that I would never amount to anything.Quote:
Originally Posted by Demiparadigm
How effed up is that? To say that to a young man who hadn't begun his life story. What a beotch. She was such a cold heartless woman, evil even. She used to tell me how worthless I was, how I would probably end up a drunk rolling over homeless dudes for Boones Farm money.
But as mean as that bitch was, I shed a tear when she died.
Then I pulled the knife out and threw it in a ditch.
Book Two: Kirijini
“What am I? I am in your tongue, a samurai sword. Not some dosu trash like one such as yourself has expected. You have underestimated both me and my wielder. I dance in the darkness and I am rained on by the flames of the nearby fire. Your death will be your most beautiful moment.
Duck! Weave! Ha ha! You can’t evade my steel forever! My master has filled his scabbard with jounin blinding powder; lets see how you fight blind! I see an opening! Come master! Find this spot in the upper abdomen! Send me to it, I shall do my task! Yes! I can feel your flesh tearing! I am inside of you. You’ve done your work master and now I shall finish him off by slicing through these frail organs. He shall die here by the fire, and in all this glory and bloodshed my heart weeps for him. For he was not able to witness the honor and glory of his death… aishou…”
-End
When I was twelve was the first time I french kissed a girl.
It was weird.
I guess its an aquired taste.
I do it pretty regularly now.
my foot just fell asleep
all the cool poker players wear depends y/n
It's not a matter if your young or old, its a matter if your stupid or not stupid. In the Bible, Eve was stupid, but she was setup. Both were punished (satan worse imo lol, even tho ours was not so fun either), however today, the media isn't punished. We all know how many problems the media causes and we all know how much we all hate them. What does the media say? They have a whole list of stupid excuses like "we can't report all the 'good' stuff that is going on, its just not possible" well bitches, at least try to put it into perspective so your not trying to inflict so much fear into people so they shit their pants. Ever notice that in tragic times and events, its almost like a competiton between the media to get the highest death toll numbers, and when they get the new death toll numbers do you notice how excited and almost happy they are to report it? The media is truly f*cking up this country. I believe the media is even more to blame than the government. The governemnt almost has no realistic choice but to play along and "fix" whatever the media purpetrates as "wrong" or there will be alot of angry soccer moms / stupid majority. Just like in the Bible how Pilate "had to" sentence Jesus to death, even though He did nothing wrong, and Pilate didn't even want to.. it was just cause the stupid majority wanted it.. Unfortunately the ratio for stupid/not stupid is very much offset. And in a place where the majority rule, we are all poured into the same cup whether we would like to be or not.
Does anyone but me see a notable similarity between Ponius pilate and Paris in Romeo and Juliet?
Ecxcept Paris died.
Nevermind.
I wanna be better than oxygen
So you can breathe when you're drowning and weak in the knees
I wanna speak louder than Ritalin
For all the children who think that they've got a disease
I wanna be cooler than t.v.
For all the kids that are wondering what they are going to be
We can be stronger than bombs
If you're singing along and you know that you really believe
We can be richer than industry
As long as we know that there's things that we don't really need
We can speak louder than ignorance
Cause we speak in silence every time our eyes meet.
The media has a vey ddirect and specific job:
To get the highest ratings, and thereby the most money.
They choose the stories that they feel will bwst accomplish that task.
Quote:
Originally Posted by journey075
Man who brings baby strollers to see things like this!?
CANNON FODDER!!!!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Demiparadigm
Why don't we just copy and paste all other FTR threads into this one.
That'll make it long.
Yes, what a good idea.
Ben Affleck in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back-
"NOOO, Bullshit, cause I wasn't WITH a hooker today! Ahh Haa!"
Paul Sr. from OCC talking about Paulie-
"If shit were electricity, he'd be a powerhouse."
Denis Leary in No Cure For Cancer-
"Life sucks, Get a Fuckin Helmet."
This thread is long
Homer Simpson-
"Beer is the source of, and solution to, all of life's problems."
.....I'm working on it guys. We'll get this topic really long at this rate.
I thought i told yopu to revise for this exam.!!!! :wink:Quote:
Does anyone but me see a notable similarity between Ponius pilate and Paris in Romeo and Juliet?
Ecxcept Paris died.
Nevermind.
weeeeeeell
kyles mams a bitch shes the biggest bitch in the whol wide world...
(c'mon you know the rest its from southpark) :twisted:
Here is a funny sound clip, click the link to check it out. It's from a morning show in DC.
http://www.theenseys.com/Bangbothofem.wav
//import statements
//import.*
public class Game extends JFrame
{
private Container content;
private LayoutManager layout;
private JPanel center, south;
private JLabel array[][], label1;
private JTextField texts[];
private ActionListener listener;
private JButton button;
private int turn=1, top=3, mid=5, bot=7, amount=15;
private boolean win=false;
public Game()
{
listener = new Handler();
content=getContentPane();
layout=new BorderLayout();
content.setLayout(layout);
texts=new JTextField[3];
array=new JLabel[3][7];
for(int x=0;x<3;x++)
for(int y=0;y<8;y++)
{
if(y==7)
{
texts[x]=new JTextField(0);
center.add(texts[x]);
}
else
{
array[x][y]=new JLabel();
array[x][y].setText("I");
center.add(array[x][y]);
}
}
array[0][3].setText(" ");
array[0][4].setText(" ");
array[0][5].setText(" ");
array[0][6].setText(" ");
array[1][5].setText(" ");
array[1][6].setText(" ");
content.add(center,BorderLayout.CENTER);
south=new GridLayout(1,2);
label1=new JLabel();
label1.setText("Player 1's turn");
south.add(label1);
button=new JButton("End Turn");
button.addActionListener(listener);
south.add(button);
content.add(south,BorderLayout.SOUTH);
}
public class Handler implements ActionListener
{
public void actionPerformed(ActionEvent e)
{
if(win==false)
{
if(try(int num=Integer.parseInt(texts[0].getText())));
{
if(num<top)
{
label1.setText("Not that many paperclips!");
return;
}
if(num>top)
{
label1.setText("Not that many paperclips!");
return;
}
for(int x=(num-1);x>=0;x--)
{
array[0][x].setText("");
top--;
amount--;
}
if(amount==1)
{
label1.setText("Player "+turn+" wins!");
win=true;
return;
}
if(turn==1)
{
label1.setText("Player 2's turn!");
turn=2;
}
if(turn==2)
{
label1.setText("Player 1's turn!");
turn=1;
}
return;
}
if(try(int num=Integer.parseInt(texts[1].getText())));
{
if(num<mid)
{
label1.setText("Not that many paperclips!");
return;
}
if(num>mid)
{
label1.setText("Not that many paperclips!");
return;
}
for(int x=(num-1);x>=0;x--)
{
array[1][x].setText("");
mid--;
amount--;
}
if(amount==1)
{
label1.setText("Player "+turn+" wins!");
win=true;
return;
}
if(turn==1)
{
label1.setText("Player 2's turn!");
turn=2;
}
if(turn==2)
{
label1.setText("Player 1's turn!");
turn=1;
}
return;
}
if(try(int num=Integer.parseInt(texts[2].getText())));
{
if(num<bot)
{
label1.setText("Not that many paperclips!");
return;
}
if(num>bot)
{
label1.setText("Not that many paperclips!");
return;
}
for(int x=(num-1);x>=0;x--)
{
array[2][x].setText("");
top--;
amount--;
}
if(amount==1)
{
label1.setText("Player "+turn+" wins!");
win=true;
return;
}
if(turn==1)
{
label1.setText("Player 2's turn!");
turn=2;
}
if(turn==2)
{
label1.setText("Player 1's turn!");
turn=1;
}
return;
}
}
}
}
public static void main(String[]args)
{
Game window = new Game();
//window stuff;
window.setVisible(true);
}
}
OMFG I LOVE ELLIOTQuote:
Originally Posted by LMFAO1
I listen to him every morning. Funniest thing ever.
1. What steps would you follow to start and move a car with automatic transmission?
Put gear in park, select automatic choke, and turn the engine on. Step on the brake and put the car into drive or reverse.
2. How would you use your brakes to slow and stop a car with automatic transmission? How would you stop in an emergency?
Check your mirrors, tap your brake pedal, and apply steady pressure to the brake pedal.
3. How is manual transmission different from an automatic transmission?
Change forward gears by manually shifting up or down. Automatic shifts for you.
4. What steps would you follow to start and move a car with manual transmission?
Set parking brake, push clutch to the floor, step on the brake and shift into neutral, and turn the engine on. Release parking brake and shift into first. To stop the car, press the clutch to the floor and move your right foot to the brake.
5. How would you use the forward gears of a vehicle that has a manual transmission?
First gear sets the car in motion, second is used for speeds 15 to 25, third gear is used for speeds over 25 or speeds up to 30 or 40, fourth or fifth gear is used for driving at higher speeds.
6. What is acceleration? How are acceleration and speed related?
Acceleration is an increase of speed, the more acceleration you have, the more speed you get.
7. What procedures would you follow to steer a car straight ahead? To turn?
Steer towards a point in the center of path of travel. Look beyond the turn to the point you want to reach.
8. How do you back a car?
Look over your right shoulder, place left hand at top of the steering wheel, and steer in the direction you want the car to move.
I'll add 17 minutes to this thread.....
In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida, honey,
Don't you know that I love you?
In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida, baby,
Don't you know that I'll always be true?
Oh, won't you come with me
And take my hand?
Oh, won't you come with me
And walk this land?
Please take my hand!
[Repeat]
[Solos]
[Repeat]
Geography sucks.
i didnt have anything to say about this just wanted to repost itQuote:
Posted: Sat, 20 Aug 2005, 8:11pm
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
//import statements
//import.*
public class Game extends JFrame
{
private Container content;
private LayoutManager layout;
private JPanel center, south;
private JLabel array[][], label1;
private JTextField texts[];
private ActionListener listener;
private JButton button;
private int turn=1, top=3, mid=5, bot=7, amount=15;
private boolean win=false;
public Game()
{
listener = new Handler();
content=getContentPane();
layout=new BorderLayout();
content.setLayout(layout);
texts=new JTextField[3];
array=new JLabel[3][7];
for(int x=0;x<3;x++)
for(int y=0;y<8;y++)
{
if(y==7)
{
texts[x]=new JTextField(0);
center.add(texts[x]);
}
else
{
array[x][y]=new JLabel();
array[x][y].setText("I");
center.add(array[x][y]);
}
}
array[0][3].setText(" ");
array[0][4].setText(" ");
array[0][5].setText(" ");
array[0][6].setText(" ");
array[1][5].setText(" ");
array[1][6].setText(" ");
content.add(center,BorderLayout.CENTER);
south=new GridLayout(1,2);
label1=new JLabel();
label1.setText("Player 1's turn");
south.add(label1);
button=new JButton("End Turn");
button.addActionListener(listener);
south.add(button);
content.add(south,BorderLayout.SOUTH);
}
public class Handler implements ActionListener
{
public void actionPerformed(ActionEvent e)
{
if(win==false)
{
if(try(int num=Integer.parseInt(texts[0].getText())));
{
if(num<top)
{
label1.setText("Not that many paperclips!");
return;
}
if(num>top)
{
label1.setText("Not that many paperclips!");
return;
}
for(int x=(num-1);x>=0;x--)
{
array[0][x].setText("");
top--;
amount--;
}
if(amount==1)
{
label1.setText("Player "+turn+" wins!");
win=true;
return;
}
if(turn==1)
{
label1.setText("Player 2's turn!");
turn=2;
}
if(turn==2)
{
label1.setText("Player 1's turn!");
turn=1;
}
return;
}
if(try(int num=Integer.parseInt(texts[1].getText())));
{
if(num<mid)
{
label1.setText("Not that many paperclips!");
return;
}
if(num>mid)
{
label1.setText("Not that many paperclips!");
return;
}
for(int x=(num-1);x>=0;x--)
{
array[1][x].setText("");
mid--;
amount--;
}
if(amount==1)
{
label1.setText("Player "+turn+" wins!");
win=true;
return;
}
if(turn==1)
{
label1.setText("Player 2's turn!");
turn=2;
}
if(turn==2)
{
label1.setText("Player 1's turn!");
turn=1;
}
return;
}
if(try(int num=Integer.parseInt(texts[2].getText())));
{
if(num<bot)
{
label1.setText("Not that many paperclips!");
return;
}
if(num>bot)
{
label1.setText("Not that many paperclips!");
return;
}
for(int x=(num-1);x>=0;x--)
{
array[2][x].setText("");
top--;
amount--;
}
if(amount==1)
{
label1.setText("Player "+turn+" wins!");
win=true;
return;
}
if(turn==1)
{
label1.setText("Player 2's turn!");
turn=2;
}
if(turn==2)
{
label1.setText("Player 1's turn!");
turn=1;
}
return;
}
}
}
}
public static void main(String[]args)
{
Game window = new Game();
//window stuff;
window.setVisible(true);
}
}
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miffed22001
Oh.
he's an annoying f'in donkey.Quote:
Originally Posted by hydroseeds
Unlucky eh? :wink:Quote:
Miffed22001 wrote:
Quote:
Posted: Sat, 20 Aug 2005, 8:11pm
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
//import statements
//import.*
public class Game extends JFrame
{
private Container content;
private LayoutManager layout;
private JPanel center, south;
private JLabel array[][], label1;
private JTextField texts[];
private ActionListener listener;
private JButton button;
private int turn=1, top=3, mid=5, bot=7, amount=15;
private boolean win=false;
public Game()
{
listener = new Handler();
content=getContentPane();
layout=new BorderLayout();
content.setLayout(layout);
texts=new JTextField[3];
array=new JLabel[3][7];
for(int x=0;x<3;x++)
for(int y=0;y<8;y++)
{
if(y==7)
{
texts[x]=new JTextField(0);
center.add(texts[x]);
}
else
{
array[x][y]=new JLabel();
array[x][y].setText("I");
center.add(array[x][y]);
}
}
array[0][3].setText(" ");
array[0][4].setText(" ");
array[0][5].setText(" ");
array[0][6].setText(" ");
array[1][5].setText(" ");
array[1][6].setText(" ");
content.add(center,BorderLayout.CENTER);
south=new GridLayout(1,2);
label1=new JLabel();
label1.setText("Player 1's turn");
south.add(label1);
button=new JButton("End Turn");
button.addActionListener(listener);
south.add(button);
content.add(south,BorderLayout.SOUTH);
}
public class Handler implements ActionListener
{
public void actionPerformed(ActionEvent e)
{
if(win==false)
{
if(try(int num=Integer.parseInt(texts[0].getText())));
{
if(num<top)
{
label1.setText("Not that many paperclips!");
return;
}
if(num>top)
{
label1.setText("Not that many paperclips!");
return;
}
for(int x=(num-1);x>=0;x--)
{
array[0][x].setText("");
top--;
amount--;
}
if(amount==1)
{
label1.setText("Player "+turn+" wins!");
win=true;
return;
}
if(turn==1)
{
label1.setText("Player 2's turn!");
turn=2;
}
if(turn==2)
{
label1.setText("Player 1's turn!");
turn=1;
}
return;
}
if(try(int num=Integer.parseInt(texts[1].getText())));
{
if(num<mid)
{
label1.setText("Not that many paperclips!");
return;
}
if(num>mid)
{
label1.setText("Not that many paperclips!");
return;
}
for(int x=(num-1);x>=0;x--)
{
array[1][x].setText("");
mid--;
amount--;
}
if(amount==1)
{
label1.setText("Player "+turn+" wins!");
win=true;
return;
}
if(turn==1)
{
label1.setText("Player 2's turn!");
turn=2;
}
if(turn==2)
{
label1.setText("Player 1's turn!");
turn=1;
}
return;
}
if(try(int num=Integer.parseInt(texts[2].getText())));
{
if(num<bot)
{
label1.setText("Not that many paperclips!");
return;
}
if(num>bot)
{
label1.setText("Not that many paperclips!");
return;
}
for(int x=(num-1);x>=0;x--)
{
array[2][x].setText("");
top--;
amount--;
}
if(amount==1)
{
label1.setText("Player "+turn+" wins!");
win=true;
return;
}
if(turn==1)
{
label1.setText("Player 2's turn!");
turn=2;
}
if(turn==2)
{
label1.setText("Player 1's turn!");
turn=1;
}
return;
}
}
}
}
public static void main(String[]args)
{
Game window = new Game();
//window stuff;
window.setVisible(true);
}
}
i didnt have anything to say about this just wanted to repost it
Oh.
Elliot took some time to get used to for me. When I was up there, I was switching between him and Greaseman. That laugh bugs the shit out of me. But, he is funny.
I am hungry.
i should go eat a hot pocket
this thread isnt THAT long.
I'm a pretty girl.
I hate this thread
I like taking bad beats
I have a hangover
ake, I don't understand why that woman in your avatar isnt in the kitchen making me a sandwich.
-'rilla
I like money.
Do your balls ever get sweaty and itchy in public and you want to scratch them so bad for a little relief?.......but an old lady with her grandchildren is looking at you?
I scratch em anyway.
-'rilla
'rilla I am very disappointed at your new avatar. :snooty:
His new avatar rocks, Duke Nu'em baby!
20 dollar bills? Duke = low roller :tsk:
Quote:
Originally Posted by ake
whatever, eurotrash.
Journey075 was born in england, he moved to USA at the age of 8.Quote:
Originally Posted by journey075
pwned?Quote:
Originally Posted by ake
My IRC is broken, and I wanted to bitch about all my bad beats today :(
Oh, well. I guess drinking helps too.
There's a karaoke bar next door to my house.
Dude, Hot Pockets are so good.Quote:
Originally Posted by fjuanl
Except one time, it was so hot and some cheese leaked out and gave me a f***** third degree burn on my lip.
mmmmm yummy
2nd degree, at the most.
liar.
This thread needs a useless giveaway.
My favorite license plate in Norfolk, VA was:
SRO2JV
Anyone who gets that deserves $10 on Stars.
You must post why it is funny to me...
I go over and ask her if she would like to scratch my balls for me.Quote:
Originally Posted by BobbySalami