Would it make me a bad person...

[salsa4ever]

If I believe that my wife/girlfriend *has* to be hot or at least good looking for her age?

I mean, I have reasonable standards, and I know as people grow old, then the sands of time will cause unavoidable signs of age. However, I was just reading the last bit of the Mariah thread and there was a comment about "wait til your wife spits out a couple of puppies"

Well, that's why I wouldn't let my wife have kids. Unless they undertook to work like hell to slim down and get sexy after the kid. Which is never easy, I understand that. You can get depessed, and the baby creates workload and it's not easy to do the hard yards required.

But I think it's a love and respect that each person in the relationship will keep themselves looking sexy for the other. Like I would think my partner is being very selfish if she let herself get ugly.

Basically, what I want to know is this:
Am I unreasonable if I require that my partner remains good looking and slim/at least average weight for me to continue in a relationship with her? (exception if it's not her fault, like if she got cancer and lost her hair, etc.)

[bigred]

Well what does your aunt look like after kids?

[flomo]

treat women like cars, always upgrade

you need short term leases and rentals, and maybe borrow your buddies every now and then

[meeloche]

wow

[holdin2]

wow

[thizzSantaCruz]

treat women like cars, always upgrade

you need short term leases and rentals, and maybe borrow your buddies every now and then

Halarious

[swiggidy]

You put it quite bluntly, but I mostly agree with you.

One of my biggest life fears is marrying someone and having her get fat.

[zook]

One of my biggest life fears is marrying someone and having her get fat.

1. Check out her mom.
2. Make sure she enjoys exercise. Doesn't just do it to stay thin, really enjoys it.
3. Talk to her about mutual expectations for appearance and fitness, without sounding like an insensitive ass (easier said than done, but possible).
4. Put maximum weights in the pre-nup.

[swiggidy]

One of my biggest life fears is marrying someone and having her get fat.

1. Check out her mom.
2. Make sure she enjoys exercise. Doesn't just do it to stay thin, really enjoys it.
3. Talk to her about mutual expectations for appearance and fitness, without sounding like an insensitive ass (easier said than done, but possible).
4. Put maximum weights in the pre-nup.

lol, all are done expect #4. Added to repertoire.

[bode]

Well what does your aunt look like after kids?

how did this not get any love? seriously fucking hilarious.

[wesrman]

You put it quite bluntly, but I mostly agree with you.

One of my biggest life fears is marrying someone and having her get fat.

Gonna happen.

[wesrman]

Like I would think my cousin is being very selfish if she let herself get ugly.

FYP.

[swiggidy]

You put it quite bluntly, but I mostly agree with you.

One of my biggest life fears is marrying someone and having her get fat.

Gonna happen.

No

[kingnat]

One of my biggest life fears is marrying someone and having her get fat.

1. Check out her mom.
2. Make sure she enjoys exercise. Doesn't just do it to stay thin, really enjoys it.
3. Talk to her about mutual expectations for appearance and fitness, without sounding like an insensitive ass (easier said than done, but possible).
4. Put maximum weights in the pre-nup.

QFT... but still.. if you think you might want to have some kids someday... you need to realize that no 30-something wife after kids is ever gonna look like she's 18. i guess salsa kinda mentioned that above..

[jdubs]

I think if you're that concerned about it, your relationship is doomed. my .02$

[givememyleg]

find someone you love or something

[Galapogos]

Well what does your aunt look like after kids?

how did this not get any love? seriously fucking hilarious.

More love.

[boost]

Like I would think my partner is being very selfish if she let herself get ugly.

ha

I understand where youre coming from, but I think this is whats romantic about "growing old" with someone. Youve comitted to each other because you love each other, no matter what. However I think its really fucked up when a guy gets married and within months the chicks turned into a plumper.

I think things like this should not be seen as being so awkward. Youve gotta be sensitive of the persons feelings, however if your relationship is solid enough to get married, its solid enough to discuss really reasonable expectations such as this.

[BankItDrew]

It's not unreasonable at all to expect that your wife remains in good shape, so long as you do as well.

I recommend working out together.

[showboatlou]

Can't kill'em.....Can't chain'em to rockets........(?)........ Can't bring back the dead no matter how much love you still got. Basically fucked. "Partner", does not exist in my vocabulary. All or, nothing requires a stronger word............. Some "words" are recognizable sounds of anguish. You don't need to know the language........ Don't start, what you can't finish.
Some people never know_Wings Please be with me_Eric Clapton
Caribbean Blue_Enya Grow old with me_Plastic Ono Band
New Horizons_Moody Blues Autumn_Edgar Winter Group
And You and I_Yes Long way from anywhere_James Taylor
Angelique_Dark Shadows Evening Falls_Enya
You're the one_Carly Simon Piece of my heart_Big Brother and the Holding Company
The song that never ends_Shari Lewis
As_Stevie Wonder

[badgers]

lol as soon as I saw the title and author I knew this had the potential to be something disgraceful

Most of it I agree with but I think that not wanting to have children because it would affect the looks of your wife is a pretty shallow view.

[salsa4ever]

Well what does your aunt look like after kids?

how did this not get any love? seriously fucking hilarious.

More love.

More love.

[salsa4ever]

lol as soon as I saw the title and author I knew this had the potential to be something disgraceful

Most of it I agree with but I think that not wanting to have children because it would affect the looks of your wife is a pretty shallow view.

Thanks for the vote of confidence.

So what do you think is a better alternative? Like, just accept that kids and wife attractiveness is a tradeoff? Or are you really able to accept a wife that's unattractive?

[salsa4ever]

find someone you love or something

do you think it means i don't love someone, if I think it's totally unacceptable if they let themselves become sexually unattractive to me?

[Jack Sawyer]

You need a wife that ages like fine wine.

Look at her mother and aunts for reference, and if daddy's gene's aren't too fucked up, all will be fine

There may even be cases in which the mom is better looking than the daughter, leading to what I believe the correct terminology is milf

[badgers]

I'm just joking salsa I love your posts

I honestly don't know I'm only 20 and don't think about these things that much but all I know is that one day I want to have kids and raise a family. To miss out on that because of something so superficial as beauty doesn't seem right to me.

[XTR1000]

I expected a story involving ur cousins

[givememyleg]

find someone you love or something

do you think it means i don't love someone, if I think it's totally unacceptable if they let themselves become sexually unattractive to me?

not necessarily, no. as men it is normal, and almost a requirement, that we have an attractive spouse. now of course attractive is subjective, whatever floats your boat. i admit as well that i would not be able to begin to date someone that i wasn't psychically attracted to..

however, like someone else mentioned, not wanting to have kids because you're afraid it might make your wife put on a few sounded kinda shallow. if you don't want kids, that's your thing... some people just don't want to have them. but if you really do want a family someday, and are avoid it just because of this, you should probably try to see through it. and after all, not all women get big after pregnancy. the whole working out, or perhaps dancing (!), together thing is a great idea.

didn't mean to sound so rude, i you and your posts. guess what i was trying to say is that right now i am very very attracted to my significant other.. and even if she were to gain weight, there is no way i would ever leave her, because i love her so much. would i prefer her to stay skinny? of course. do i hope she stays fit/in shape? of course. would i consider leaving her if she did gain weight? never.

i'm actually starting to hit that age where my metabolism is wearing off and i'm getting kinda lazy about things... so i'm thinking about me and her starting a workout plan, sounds +ev to me.

[showboatlou]

gmilf but, thats my preference. EDIT: Recognizes that, FREE SPEECH is not FREE! Must have one friend. Sex is fine, just don't talk.

[zook]

i'm actually starting to hit that age where my metabolism is wearing off and i'm getting kinda lazy about things... so i'm thinking about me and her starting a workout plan, sounds +ev to me.

This definitely cuts both ways. My gf always complains when she sees attractive women stuck with husbands with big guts.

[bigred]

i'm actually starting to hit that age where my metabolism is wearing off and i'm getting kinda lazy about things... so i'm thinking about me and her starting a workout plan, sounds +ev to me.

This definitely cuts both ways. My gf always complains when she sees attractive women stuck with husbands with big guts and big wallets.

[Ltrain]

Look at her mom is the best advice. Also, once you are married with kids, you will likely be less concerned with how she looks and more concerned that she is no longer interested in sex.

[swiggidy]

^^ like elevated train?

makes me think of Austin Carr going "LTRAIN, TAKES IT TO THE HOLE"

[Ltrain]

^^ like elevated train?

makes me think of Austin Carr going "LTRAIN, TAKES IT TO THE HOLE"

I wish there was more behind it; just a nickname I had in college.

[jackvance]

If her father had decided to be like you and not have kids to reduce the strap marks on his wife, you wouldn't have had this wife, think about that :/

[swiggidy]

^^ like elevated train?

makes me think of Austin Carr going "LTRAIN, TAKES IT TO THE HOLE"

I wish there was more behind it; just a nickname I had in college.

well, now you have the same nickname as the King. At least in some crazy old man's head.

[bigred]

If her father had decided to be like you and not have kids to reduce the strap marks on his wife, you wouldn't have had this wife, think about that :/

You should have been a blow job, thoughts?

[flomo]

If her father had decided to be like you and not have kids to reduce the strap marks on his wife, you wouldn't have had this wife, think about that :/

You should have been a blow job, thoughts?

hahhahahahhahaaaaa

[givememyleg]

WHAT IF YOUR MOTHER HAD AN ABORTION

[Ltrain]

If her father had decided to be like you and not have kids to reduce the strap marks on his wife, you wouldn't have had this wife, think about that :/

You should have been a blow job, thoughts?

ROFL, just classic...

[wufwugy]

Basically, what I want to know is this:
Am I unreasonable if I require that my partner remains good looking and slim/at least average weight for me to continue in a relationship with her? (exception if it's not her fault, like if she got cancer and lost her hair, etc.)

i find it sad that we men have become so naive to allow ourselves to even think that this is unreasonable. sexual attraction is what drives sexual relationships

[boost]

wufwugy I dont htink anyones arguing against that. What I think people think is shallows is that someones view of what attractive is is so firm and narrow that they would cease to be attracted to someone if they had a relatively mild physical change. I honestly would be way more worried about the person becoming insanely depressed in a way that you cant help them. Or being an alcoholic or drug addict. If you get married and your wife puts on a few pounds but is still the same happy fun loving person she was before, I cant see how you arent shallow if this complete ruins the relationship for you.

Clearly this is all subjective though, and there are going to be different cut offs for everyone. Im guessing that a big thing that ruins relationships is not so much the weight gain, but the effects it has on other areas of the relationship. The chick probably gets self conscious and that alone would make the sex suck.


dont know how to end this so whatever.. ramble ramble ramble..

[swiggidy]

I'm not worried about her "putting on a couple pounds", I'm worried about a couple pounds x10. I've seen enough for the short time I've been around to know this is 100% legitimate concern, which which is why you do things like zook said.

[flomo]

20 years down the road you will all have half of everything you own ripped away by lawyers(divorce rate is still around 50% in US)
because the bitch got old and fat

i just want one that can cook so that i can get fat and old

[flomo]

moral of the story don't get married

upgrade, upgrade, upgrade

[showboatlou]

It's called, "The steal from the man plan". (Highly effective in most states)

[wufwugy]

wufwugy I dont htink anyones arguing against that. What I think people think is shallows is that someones view of what attractive is is so firm and narrow that they would cease to be attracted to someone if they had a relatively mild physical change. I honestly would be way more worried about the person becoming insanely depressed in a way that you cant help them. Or being an alcoholic or drug addict. If you get married and your wife puts on a few pounds but is still the same happy fun loving person she was before, I cant see how you arent shallow if this complete ruins the relationship for you.

Clearly this is all subjective though, and there are going to be different cut offs for everyone. Im guessing that a big thing that ruins relationships is not so much the weight gain, but the effects it has on other areas of the relationship. The chick probably gets self conscious and that alone would make the sex suck.


dont know how to end this so whatever.. ramble ramble ramble..

i too have thought this to be the case, but there really is a way to avoid any true negativity. sincerity and honesty and support goes so far in relationships.

the problem isn't even the physical manifestation (weight gain in this case), but the lack of honesty and support and love. if a woman believes that her man loves her and wants her to be lean/fit and will do whatever it takes to help her do that and will make it worth her while then she is a foolish and worthless human being if she doesn't happily oblige him.

[mrhappy333]

when your wife hits 40 trade her in for two twenty year olds.
standard

[jdubs]

wufwugy I dont htink anyones arguing against that. What I think people think is shallows is that someones view of what attractive is is so firm and narrow that they would cease to be attracted to someone if they had a relatively mild physical change. I honestly would be way more worried about the person becoming insanely depressed in a way that you cant help them. Or being an alcoholic or drug addict. If you get married and your wife puts on a few pounds but is still the same happy fun loving person she was before, I cant see how you arent shallow if this complete ruins the relationship for you.

Clearly this is all subjective though, and there are going to be different cut offs for everyone. Im guessing that a big thing that ruins relationships is not so much the weight gain, but the effects it has on other areas of the relationship. The chick probably gets self conscious and that alone would make the sex suck.


dont know how to end this so whatever.. ramble ramble ramble..

QFT