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Randomness thread, part two.

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  1. #15976
    Quote Originally Posted by rong View Post
    Worst thing about the run up to Christmas, walking into my own house, hungry, and not knowing what I'm allowed to eat.
    #firstworldproblems
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  2. #15977
    Try saying 'Irish wristwatch' repeatedly at a decent volume and speed.

    Too easy? Try 'toy boat'
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  3. #15978
    a500lbgorilla's Avatar
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    Red leather, yellow leather...

    New York is unique, Unique is New York...
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  4. #15979
    I'm going to be in Texas for the holidays. I've never been. What should an uber cool unique New York hipster douchebag like me expect??
    Free your mind and your ass will follow.
  5. #15980
    Quote Originally Posted by Luco View Post
    Try saying 'Irish wristwatch' repeatedly at a decent volume and speed.

    Too easy? Try 'toy boat'
    I used to pwn the shit out of these in Greek. Still not too great at the English ones, lol.
    Free your mind and your ass will follow.
  6. #15981
    Quote Originally Posted by aubreymcfate View Post
    I'm going to be in Texas for the holidays. I've never been. What should an uber cool unique New York hipster douchebag like me expect??
    It depends on which area you go to. Either way, oh lawd. Look out, Texas!
    I will destroy you with sunshine and kittens.
  7. #15982
    Baytown, which I believe is not too far from Houston?
    Free your mind and your ass will follow.
  8. #15983
    MadMojoMonkey's Avatar
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    Pretty sure this is the right thread for this:

  9. #15984
    Free your mind and your ass will follow.
  10. #15985
    ... well. is it?
  11. #15986
    Perhaps, if she was planning to massacre the rest of her crew and required a quick means of absorbing the evidence.
    Free your mind and your ass will follow.
  12. #15987
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    Quote Originally Posted by aubreymcfate View Post
    I'm going to be in Texas for the holidays. I've never been. What should an uber cool unique New York hipster douchebag like me expect??

    my family tells me never to leave austin every time i visited. whether they were joking or not remains up in the air.

    ?wut
  13. #15988
    all i know about tampons is that when i bought my wife ones labeled "super" she was like "how loose do you think i am down there!?". you see, i didn't know that tampon manufacturers spoke in euphemisms. i thought it was all about the absorbency per volume of padding.
  14. #15989
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    Quote Originally Posted by eugmac View Post
    all i know about tampons is that when i bought my wife ones labeled "super" she was like "how loose do you think i am down there!?".
    L'esprit de l'escalier. Shoulda smirked off about how you could widen a chasted girl.
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  15. #15990
    Quote Originally Posted by eugmac View Post
    all i know about tampons is that when i bought my wife ones labeled "super" she was like "how loose do you think i am down there!?". you see, i didn't know that tampon manufacturers spoke in euphemisms. i thought it was all about the absorbency per volume of padding.
    I seriously did not know there were women out there that can't hold in normal sized tampons. I assumed an absorbency per volume thing as well. Actually.. I think that literally is the case lol, I don't think your wife's reaction was warranted.

    Randomness Thread: The Women's Health Education You Never Received (But Always Secretly Hoped You Would!)
    Free your mind and your ass will follow.
  16. #15991
    well. the super ones are kind of thicker, here in germany anyway. and my wife says they're a little too snug for comfort.
  17. #15992
    oskar's Avatar
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    Well, if you don't know for sure, then the professional thing to do is to ask, because WHAT IF YOU'RE WRONG?
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  18. #15993
    well, OMG MY PERIOD IS REALLY BLOODY THIS TIME sounded like super tampon time.
  19. #15994
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    Quote Originally Posted by aubreymcfate View Post
    I seriously did not know there were women out there that can't hold in normal sized tampons. I assumed an absorbency per volume thing as well. Actually.. I think that literally is the case lol, I don't think your wife's reaction was warranted.

    Randomness Thread: The Women's Health Education You Never Received (But Always Secretly Hoped You Would!)
    I wasn't aware of this either. The poor women who have to buy those! You'd have to feel like everyone in the store now knows you have a loose vagina.
    Last edited by oskar; 12-17-2014 at 08:18 PM.
    The strengh of a hero is defined by the weakness of his villains.
  20. #15995
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    Quote Originally Posted by eugmac View Post
    all i know about tampons is that when i bought my wife ones labeled "super" she was like "how loose do you think i am down there!?". you see, i didn't know that tampon manufacturers spoke in euphemisms. i thought it was all about the absorbency per volume of padding.
    "If you can handle me this should be nothing for you."


    Quote Originally Posted by sauce123
    I don't get why you insist on stacking off with like jack high all the time.
  21. #15996
    a500lbgorilla's Avatar
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    Dammit, that's better.
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  22. #15997
    Quote Originally Posted by jyms View Post
    This is why you are single. You have no idea how a woman would react if she spent a ton of time purchasing and/or preparing food for something and you ate it on her. May as well say "pretend to be sleeping beside me and kick me in the nuts" for the next two weeks.
    lol that's not why I'm single. Do you think this is a reflection of my irl personality? It's me being an internet dick. I'm single because I'm 34 years old and spend my life getting stoned while pissing about on the internet. I have literally nothing going for me. I'm not stupid, I know exactly why I don't get daily blow jobs. But then again I don't have to go to fucking work either, so it's all good.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  23. #15998
    Quote Originally Posted by OngBonga View Post
    lol that's not why I'm single. Do you think this is a reflection of my irl personality? It's me being an internet dick. I'm single because I'm 34 years old and spend my life getting stoned while pissing about on the internet. I have literally nothing going for me. I'm not stupid, I know exactly why I don't get daily blow jobs. But then again I don't have to go to fucking work either, so it's all good.
    Not single. Still don't get daily blowjobs.

    I must be doing it wrong.
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  24. #15999
    spoonitnow's Avatar
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    The past several chicks I've been involved with have all used multiple sizes of tampons depending on how heavy their flow happens to be.
  25. #16000
    yeah super size tampon doesn't necessarily mean



    pretty sure it's just an absorbency thing

    I think Larry David should be the clincher to the tampon conversation.
    Last edited by aubreymcfate; 12-18-2014 at 11:39 AM.
    Free your mind and your ass will follow.
  26. #16001
    MadMojoMonkey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OngBonga View Post
    lol that's not why I'm single. Do you think this is a reflection of my irl personality? It's me being an internet dick. I'm single because I'm 34 years old and spend my life getting stoned while pissing about on the internet. I have literally nothing going for me. I'm not stupid, I know exactly why I don't get daily blow jobs. But then again I don't have to go to fucking work either, so it's all good.
    You act like there isn't a world full of women who don't give a fuck that you're jobless, they're just thrilled that you like to have a generally laid-back, stress-free, good time and that you don't insult them or mistreat them.

    As long as you're the kind of guy who doesn't expect your lady to pay for your lifestyle, there's a good woman in your local area that you just haven't met yet.

    Some women like to play poker, and video games, and like to smoke, and just hang out with someone who has a good sense of humor.

    P.S. Have you considered that you're single because the advantages of being single outweigh the advantages of being in a couple?
  27. #16002
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    Quote Originally Posted by MadMojoMonkey View Post
    You act like there isn't a world full of women who don't give a fuck that you're jobless, they're just thrilled that you like to have a generally laid-back, stress-free, good time and that you don't insult them or mistreat them.

    As long as you're the kind of guy who doesn't expect your lady to pay for your lifestyle, there's a good woman in your local area that you just haven't met yet.

    Some women like to play poker, and video games, and like to smoke, and just hang out with someone who has a good sense of humor.

    P.S. Have you considered that you're single because the advantages of being single outweigh the advantages of being in a couple?

    FKN SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

    ?wut
  28. #16003
    rong's Avatar
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    "Some strangers are just rapists you haven't met."

    Wtf lol
    I'm the king of bongo, baby I'm the king of bongo bong.
  29. #16004
    Quote Originally Posted by MadMojoMonkey View Post
    P.S. Have you considered that you're single because the advantages of being single outweigh the advantages of being in a couple?
    Nail, hammer, head.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  30. #16005
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    I don't believe that for a second. Maybe being single us better than your current options for coupledom.
    I'm the king of bongo, baby I'm the king of bongo bong.
  31. #16006
    Quote Originally Posted by rong View Post
    I don't believe that for a second. Maybe being single us better than your current options for coupledom.
    Maybe. idk and I don't really care. Being single doesn't bother me. I'm happy enough. Sure I could be happier. I could also be a lot unhappier. I have been. Usually because of women. My life is... uncomplicated.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  32. #16007
    movie..Baytown outlaws...fucking stupid..and hilarious..
    "The harder you work, the luckier you get." ~ courtesy of my fortune cookie from china king

    "One of the best pieces of advice I've ever read in this forum was three words long...

    bet fucking fold." Ong
  33. #16008
    MadMojoMonkey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rong View Post
    I don't believe that for a second. Maybe being single us better than your current options for coupledom.
    You have to be honest that it takes a lot of hard work, compromise, and forgiveness on both parties to maintain even the best relationship. Throw kids into the mix and kiss your free will goodbye.

    Kids are a thing that couple's want. Having kids blinds people to what they gave up to have them. People say their kids make them happy, but that's statistically false. People with kids are on average as happy as people without kids. People with kids report a rich sense of fulfillment. People without kids report good night's sleep and much lower cost-of-living.

    So there are major unspoken cons to both being in a relationship and to having kids.

    People in relationships with kids just don't want to talk about that stuff, and it's understandable why. They've made their choice and they're done shopping.
  34. #16009
    Hey dan, how much is xmas costing you? Mine will be under £100.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  35. #16010
    rong's Avatar
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    Ong, the amount you're spending has more to do with your income than the number of people you care about enough to buy for.
    Last edited by rong; 12-19-2014 at 03:41 AM. Reason: i was being shitty
    I'm the king of bongo, baby I'm the king of bongo bong.
  36. #16011
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    Also what do kids have to do with anything? Kids aren't something most couples want. They might be something most couples end up with. What most guys I know want when entering a relationship is regular sex and someone to share stuff with which is pretty much companionship although nobody pre couple would use the word.
    I'm the king of bongo, baby I'm the king of bongo bong.
  37. #16012
    Yeah I'd say as much as 90% of parents I know did not plan their kids

    In work till 1pm then it's off to the staff party where there will be food and darts and a free bar all day, then no more work for two weeks. Awww yissssss
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  38. #16013
    hmm. i haven't spent a dime on my wife this xmas, and she won't either probably. i mean what's the point, it's all coming out of our conjoined finances anyway...? so we should just buy shit for ourselves if we feel like it, imo. or go on holiday. for a long fucking time. man i want a holiday.
  39. #16014
    i have spent money on wife's relatives however, what a pain. people who i care most about are getting little to nothing from me, just people who i feel "obligations" towards are getting little token gifts. what an absurd world.
  40. #16015
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    Quote Originally Posted by rong View Post
    Kids aren't something most couples want. They might be something most couples end up with.
    Quote Originally Posted by Luco View Post
    Yeah I'd say as much as 90% of parents I know did not plan their kids
    I'm lost on what this argument is in favor of.

    At first, I though you were saying, "Hey MMM, leave kids out of it, we're talking about couples," but that doesn't really capture the sentiment.

    Are you saying that being single is a good way to prevent accidentally having kids?
  41. #16016
    Quote Originally Posted by rong View Post
    Also what do kids have to do with anything? Kids aren't something most couples want. They might be something most couples end up with. What most guys I know want when entering a relationship is regular sex and someone to share stuff with which is pretty much companionship although nobody pre couple would use the word.
    Most people in relationships long forgot what regular sex is.

    I'd obviously be lying if I said that I didn't miss sex. But that's all I'm missing out on. Well, the cuddling and kissing too, but that all falls under the "intimacy" umbrella. I have relationships, there's two women in my life who I've been very close to for the best part of 20 years. The one in particular, I unload all my problems on her and she unloads hers on me. We love each other, I have my soulmate. I just don't have the intimacy. That's preferable to regular sex but no soulmate.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  42. #16017
    Quote Originally Posted by MadMojoMonkey View Post
    I'm lost on what this argument is in favor of.

    At first, I though you were saying, "Hey MMM, leave kids out of it, we're talking about couples," but that doesn't really capture the sentiment.

    Are you saying that being single is a good way to prevent accidentally having kids?
    You said kids are a thing that couples want, but thyere actuallt a tjing that couples jusy have

    ps im drunk
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  43. #16018
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    The point is kids are irrelevant to the value of having a partner.

    And being single doesn't prevent kids. Unless you suck with women.
    I'm the king of bongo, baby I'm the king of bongo bong.
  44. #16019
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    Ps I also am drunk.
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  45. #16020
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    I'd say that increased chance of having kids you 'don't want' or 'didn't plan on' is a notable con to being in a couple.

    I'm not saying being in a couple is bad. I'm saying it's not all roses, and it's not for everyone.

    There are incredibly motivating pros and cons to both being in and out of a couple.
  46. #16021
    merp.
    I will destroy you with sunshine and kittens.
  47. #16022
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    Quote Originally Posted by MadMojoMonkey View Post
    I'd say that increased chance of having kids you 'don't want' or 'didn't plan on' is a notable con to being in a couple.

    I'm not saying being in a couple is bad. I'm saying it's not all roses, and it's not for everyone.

    There are incredibly motivating pros and cons to both being in and out of a couple.
    Says every single guy ever.

    Unless you live the daven outward bound life this probably isn't true.
    I'm the king of bongo, baby I'm the king of bongo bong.
  48. #16023
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    And I'm quite jealous of daven.
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  49. #16024
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    Quote Originally Posted by rong View Post
    Says every single guy ever.
    I'm not a single guy.
  50. #16025
    MadMojoMonkey's Avatar
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    Furthermore:
    Many relationships are predicated on false presentations.
    Many relationships are perpetuated for unhealthy reasons.
    Many people in relationships feel trapped into roles that don't really fit them.

    Relationships can be brutal. Given the choice of brutal relationship vs. no relationship, I'll take no relationship every time.

    - and that's only considering the cons of a bad relationship, and not even addressing the pros of being single.
  51. #16026
    relationships are hard work, yes, absolutely but should ultimately be enriching and fulfilling on every level and should make your life undoubtedly better than it would be if you hadn't met that person. that's what the hard work is for: personal growth. the best relationships inspire you to be the best person you can be on your own, and therefore for each other. the frisson should never dissipate completely. i believe relationships die when codependence reaches the point of no return.

    the german poet Rainer Maria Rilke said it best (this applies to any relationship of course, not just marriage):

    “The point of marriage is not to create a quick commonality by tearing down all boundaries; on the contrary, a good marriage is one in which each partner appoints the other to be the guardian of his solitude, and thus they show each other the greatest possible trust. A merging of two people is an impossibility, and where it seems to exist, it is a hemming-in, a mutual consent that robs one party or both parties of their fullest freedom and development. But once the realization is accepted that even between the closest people infinite distances exist, a marvelous living side-by-side can grow up for them, if they succeed in loving the expanse between them, which gives them the possibility of always seeing each other as a whole and before an immense sky.”

    Rilke has a brilliant book called Rilke on Love and Other Difficulties: http://www.amazon.com/Rilke-Love-Oth...=1419020510865

    I highly recommend it.
    Last edited by aubreymcfate; 12-19-2014 at 03:30 PM.
    Free your mind and your ass will follow.
  52. #16027
    i feel like i won't be mature enough for a healthy relationship till im 40
  53. #16028
  54. #16029
    a500lbgorilla's Avatar
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    Rainer Fucking Rilke ITT

    If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it; blame yourself, tell yourself that you are not poet enough to call forth its riches; for to the creator there is no poverty and no poor indifferent place.

    Letters to a Young Poet
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  55. #16030
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    Plus, why have kids when you can have drugs?

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  56. #16031
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    I totes agree that great relationships are great, too. I'm just saying it's easy to lose sight of other realities when you've picked one.

    but yeah... let's forget what I was talking about and move on to this...

    It's way better.

    Dayum.

    Rainer Maria Rilke.

  57. #16032
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    I was introduced to him by a friend and architect. His teacher told him he had no idea what was good and what was crap, and the first step to knowing the difference was Rainer Rilke. It's a good sales pitch for a dead poet.
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  58. #16033
    omg, Rilke appreciation & drugs & one of my fav songs to do my loony robot on lsd dance moves to. this thread just got so real. i am so moved. -wipes away tear-

    This Henry Miller quote is a fantastic complement to the quote you posted, Rilla:

    “Every day we slaughter our finest impulses. That is why we get a heartache when we read those lines written by the hand of a master and recognize them as our own, as the tender shoots which we stifled because we lacked the faith to believe in our own powers, our own criterion of truth and beauty. Every man, when he gets quiet, when he becomes desperately honest with himself, is capable of uttering profound truths. We all derive from the same source. there is no mystery about the origin of things. We are all part of creation, all kings, all poets, all musicians; we have only to open up, only to discover what is already there.”

    I'm also seriously considering appropriating Rilke's ideas on love and being guardians of each other's solitude for my toast at my brother's wedding next year. As an antidote to the usual gross things people say that they think are romantic.
    Last edited by aubreymcfate; 12-19-2014 at 04:09 PM.
    Free your mind and your ass will follow.
  59. #16034
    Here's the crux of it imo...

    healthy relationship > single > unhealthy relationship

    Being single is not a problem. Being happy with a partner is obviously better. But that doesn't automatically make being single a huge problem. It is for some people, I get that. But not for me. I could probably count on one hand the women I've been interested in during the last five years. I'm certainly not desperate. If I stay single until I die, well I admit that's a depressing thought, but still, not as depressing as the idea of being with someone I don't love just to fend off the lonliness.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  60. #16035
    Quote Originally Posted by OngBonga View Post
    Here's the crux of it imo...

    healthy relationship > single > unhealthy relationship

    Being single is not a problem. Being happy with a partner is obviously better. But that doesn't automatically make being single a huge problem. It is for some people, I get that. But not for me. I could probably count on one hand the women I've been interested in during the last five years. I'm certainly not desperate. If I stay single until I die, well I admit that's a depressing thought, but still, not as depressing as the idea of being with someone I don't love just to fend off the lonliness.
    absolutely, you should never be in a relationship just for the sake of being in one. that's a sacrilege of love!
    Free your mind and your ass will follow.
  61. #16036
    quick now somebody post any random shakespeare quote so i can point out how it's senseless harblegarble
  62. #16037
    a500lbgorilla's Avatar
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    I wish I could remember the speech I gave for my brother's wedding, I opened with "We met when I was zero years old..."
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  63. #16038
    im forever saddened there was no recording of my speech at my brother's wedding. was dreading it for months yet knocked that shit so far out of the park
  64. #16039
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    quick now somebody post any random shakespeare quote so i can point out how it's senseless harblegarble
    A kingdom for a horse?
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  65. #16040
    Oops MY kingdom for a fucking horse.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  66. #16041
    a500lbgorilla's Avatar
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    I don't think either of those quotes are right
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  67. #16042
    YOUR KINGDOM FOR A HORSE
  68. #16043
    Quote Originally Posted by a500lbgorilla View Post
    I don't think either of those quotes are right
    I forget what fucking was in Ye Olde English.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  69. #16044
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    Quote Originally Posted by aubreymcfate View Post
    omg, Rilke appreciation & drugs & one of my fav songs to do my loony robot on lsd dance moves to. this thread just got so real. i am so moved. -wipes away tear-

    This Henry Miller quote is a fantastic complement to the quote you posted, Rilla:

    “Every day we slaughter our finest impulses. That is why we get a heartache when we read those lines written by the hand of a master and recognize them as our own, as the tender shoots which we stifled because we lacked the faith to believe in our own powers, our own criterion of truth and beauty. Every man, when he gets quiet, when he becomes desperately honest with himself, is capable of uttering profound truths. We all derive from the same source. there is no mystery about the origin of things. We are all part of creation, all kings, all poets, all musicians; we have only to open up, only to discover what is already there.”
    This quote is tight but it rubs me the wrong way. Rilke is goading a man on to become a master, this one is weeping at the achievements he can never reach.

    I don't get heartache when I see something better, I get ideas.
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  70. #16045
    Really? I think Miller is goading people to find the artist inside them too in that quote. He's referring to what Robert Graves talks about in this awesome interview: "A source in the primitive. In the prerational."

    The heartache he's referring to is the ineffable pang of emotion we feel when something resonates with us, beyond "happy" or "sad" or "angry" and just simply rings true. It's not about "better." It's not heartache in the sense of "oh man I wish I could have written that."
    Last edited by aubreymcfate; 12-19-2014 at 04:40 PM.
    Free your mind and your ass will follow.
  71. #16046
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    My feelings don't go that deep. To me it's an epiphany. When I see someone lay it out better than I could, I work out how he managed it.
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  72. #16047
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    But then again, the things that strike me as awe-inspiring are often not poetry.
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  73. #16048
    Quote Originally Posted by a500lbgorilla View Post
    But then again, the things that strike me as awe-inspiring are often not poetry.
    somebody clearly didnt read my daven poem
  74. #16049
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    I couldn't read through the tears
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  75. #16050
    For you to see something as revelatory and be inspired to want to work out how they managed it, you would have to have the aesthetic experience first. That's how you know that it's something on the level, something that's tapped into the source. You have the "heartache" (perhaps you wouldn't use that word yourself, but that's just semantics -- the heartache in Miller's quote is simply is the aesthetic experience) and consequently you are inspired. Not everyone is inspired to action, of course, but I guess you're just awesome and a natural born arteest.

    I've been having it in seemingly endless torrents lately listening to Prokofiev. He's introduced a whole new paradigm to me when it comes to my emotional/psychological response to music.
    Free your mind and your ass will follow.

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