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Randomness thread, part two.

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  1. #23626
    Quote Originally Posted by OngBonga View Post
    White guy drives van into Muslims outside mosque in London.

    Oh dear.
    Enough is enough, deport the fuckers.
  2. #23627
    OngBonga's Avatar
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    A 48-year-old man has been arrested on suspicion of attempted murder.
    Proof that he's white.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  3. #23628
    Quote Originally Posted by OngBonga View Post
    Drinks are only expensive in London if you're not from London. If you're paid London wages, then drinks are cheap.

    This guy clearly isn't a Londoner.
    Standard 4-5 pints and a cocktail to round off is costing me north of £50 after work on a Friday. That still hurts me, but maybe not the bankers.

    Quote Originally Posted by BananaStand View Post
    So this Mayweather-McGregor fight is gonna happen. I don't really follow either sport, but I'm definitely gonna watch.

    When history looks back, they will probably say that this was the END of professional boxing. It's not often you get to witness the death of an entire sport.
    This whole idea is so dumb and just a blatant money spinner that I won't watch. It's like a professional squash player taking on Roger Federer at tennis, with only one outcome.

    There's been a few of these events over the years and they've all been a joke.

    Quote Originally Posted by OngBonga View Post
    White guy drives van into Muslims outside mosque in London.

    Oh dear.
    London is taking a beating at the moment, but in some ways it makes me feel good about being British. People really do just get on with their daily lives and there's no panicking.

    Driving into Muslims really is retarded though.
  4. #23629
    Quote Originally Posted by The Bean Counter View Post
    This whole idea is so dumb and just a blatant money spinner that I won't watch. It's like a professional squash player taking on Roger Federer at tennis, with only one outcome.
    What's wrong with money-spinning? I mean, is professional boxing something that people actually care about anymore? For decades it was a top sport with a huge audience. Then Mike Tyson came along and suddenly title fights only lasted two minutes. People lost interest fast. A pay per view event was like $50, which was quite a bit of money back then. Certainly more than the casual fan is willing to spend for two minutes of a one sided demolishing.

    Then the sport's best and most intriguing athlete went to jail. And when he came back, he was nutso. And some where in there Rocky V shined a light on the ugly under-belly of professional boxing.

    A guy got his fucking ear bit off! And ever since then, the biggest matches have taken place between two guys who weigh less than most boxing fan's wives. Boxing used to be about epic clashes between heavyweights. Now it's about two skinny wieners throwing mosquito bites at each other.

    How do you fault boxing for cashing in on one last payday?

    Quote Originally Posted by The Bean Counter View Post
    There's been a few of these events over the years and they've all been a joke.
    Well in this case I think it's a little more intriguing because if McGregor wins, then that will mark the official time-of-death for professional boxing. It's still dying a slow death, but if Mayweather loses, it's the end. So it's not like past events where boxers fought wrestlers for charity. There's actually something on the line here.

    Also, when Mayweather does win...and he will....what does that really say about this exploding sport of MMA? Are the guys really that tough? Or is it all hyped because it gets so bloody and takes place inside a cage? It really won't look good when MMA puts up it's best guy and it's obvious to even casual observers that he's too slow and doesn't punch hard enough to even be competitive in this fight.
  5. #23630
    Quote Originally Posted by BananaStand View Post
    Also, when Mayweather does win...and he will....what does that really say about this exploding sport of MMA? Are the guys really that tough? Or is it all hyped because it gets so bloody and takes place inside a cage? It really won't look good when MMA puts up it's best guy and it's obvious to even casual observers that he's too slow and doesn't punch hard enough to even be competitive in this fight.
    You say this but if you put them in a fight Mayweather would get seven shades of shit kicked out of him.

    All it says is that boxers are better boxers than people who aren't boxers.
  6. #23631
    Quote Originally Posted by Savy View Post
    You say this but if you put them in a fight Mayweather would get seven shades of shit kicked out of him.

    All it says is that boxers are better boxers than people who aren't boxers.
    I'm not a real follower of either sport so I can't really make an informed prediction about who would win in a non-boxing fight. All I know is what my eyeballs tell me from what few fights I've watched, and what I see on YouTube. But even as a very casual observer, it's pretty obvious that Mayweather hits harder and is alot faster. Seems to me that Mayweather could win this upcoming fight without taking a single punch if he wanted to.

    Surely those abilities translate into MMA at least somewhat. I don't think Floyd would get mauled all that badly, if at all.
  7. #23632
    Quote Originally Posted by BananaStand View Post
    I'm not a real follower of either sport so I can't really make an informed prediction about who would win in a non-boxing fight. All I know is what my eyeballs tell me from what few fights I've watched, and what I see on YouTube. But even as a very casual observer, it's pretty obvious that Mayweather hits harder and is alot faster. Seems to me that Mayweather could win this upcoming fight without taking a single punch if he wanted to.

    Surely those abilities translate into MMA at least somewhat. I don't think Floyd would get mauled all that badly, if at all.
    Avoiding and blocking punches isn't the same thing as being able to stop someone taking you down. As soon as he was on the floor it'd be game over.

    He could also just stand out of range of mayweather and kick him.
    Last edited by Savy; 06-19-2017 at 11:00 AM.
  8. #23633
    Quote Originally Posted by Savy View Post
    Avoiding and blocking punches isn't the same thing as being able to stop someone taking you down. As soon as he was on the floor it'd be game over.

    He could also just stand out of range of mayweather and kick him.
    I'm just not buying into the argument that says Mayweather would be helpless if it came to wrestling. It's not like the guy is weak, or slow, or incapable of grappling.

    Not buying the kicking stuff either. Kicking is a lot slower than punching. Unless McGregor lands a knockout blow, Mayweather will land about 20 punches before Connor's foot is back on the ground.
  9. #23634
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    The dentists' conspiracy is revealed!

    Throw down your dental floss, my oppressed companions! It was a scam all along!

    Quote Originally Posted by the man
    National Institutes of Health dentist Tim Iafolla acknowledged that if the highest standards of science were applied in keeping with the flossing reviews of the past decade, “then it would be appropriate to drop the floss guidelines.”
  10. #23635
    Quote Originally Posted by MadMojoMonkey View Post
    The dentists' conspiracy is revealed!

    Throw down your dental floss, my oppressed companions! It was a scam all along!
    Interesting.

    Any hard evidence on interdental brushes? That's what I use, and my 'evidence' is that the hygenist seems to be able to tell when I'm not doing it enough.
  11. #23636
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    After 2+ years on a nokia burner phone I caved in and bought a smartphone. Drove an extra hour on Sunday because the paper map I had didn't have the street I was looking for. Plus more and more people start nagging me about whatsapp.
    It took me about a day to realize pretty much all budget phones are shit in one way or another, so I got a used HTC One M9 for a decent price. Now I'd like to think of myself as a function over form kinda guy, so when I got to the seller and realized I was looking at the gold painted version I'm thinking: it's $50 cheaper than the next offer and it's in good condition, plus I'm already here. I'll take the gold one.
    Is it decadence to not want the decadent looking phone? I don't care what people think of me when I pull out a $15 Nokia, but I do feel shame about pulling out a shiny gold painted aluminium 5" phone. I'm being a hypocrite, right?
    I ordered a plastic back cover.
    The strengh of a hero is defined by the weakness of his villains.
  12. #23637
    With a shit phone it's obvious you don't care, when you're putting some effort into something it's more likely people will think that is a conscious choice you've made especially when that is what most people do.

    I really need a new phone, got a windows one over two years ago and never again, but I'm falling into the same problem of all budget phones are shit and I don't want to spend much on a phone.
  13. #23638
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    The problem is that anything that is shiny and gold, other than gold, is tacky and shit, or at least perceived as such.

    Nokias are retro and cool.

    I have what is now an old smartphone. I'd love to have a brick Nokia again. All I use my phone for is calls, texts, time, alarm clock. And I fucking hate texting on it, honestly I could text quicker old school style. Now I keep pressing the wrong letter, even though I'm definitely pressing the letter I fucking want.

    At least a Nokia is a viable weapon.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  14. #23639
    Quote Originally Posted by OngBonga View Post
    And I fucking hate texting on it, honestly I could text quicker old school style. Now I keep pressing the wrong letter, even though I'm definitely pressing the letter I fucking want.
    I had the same problem with my phone then I learnt that you can swipe your finger from letter to letter and even though I'm clearly missing all the letters I actually want it always gets the word. Is different and takes some getting used to but works well.
  15. #23640
    Quote Originally Posted by Savy View Post
    I had the same problem with my phone then I learnt that you can swipe your finger from letter to letter and even though I'm clearly missing all the letters I actually want it always gets the word. Is different and takes some getting used to but works well.
    Once you get good at it, you kinda feel like a ninja when texting.
  16. #23641
    oskar's Avatar
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    Yeah that works really well. Voice recognition is also really good nowadays. It's not hard to justify a smartphone. It's worth it for the GPS alone... at least for me. Another reason why I didn't get one for so long is that I used to have a Desire S and that had a true aluminum body that actually felt solid. All the new ones are either super thin aluminum or just aluminum paint like The M9 I have now. It just feels greasy and cheap. Iphone SE would be right up my alley if it was half the price and not an Iphone.
    The strengh of a hero is defined by the weakness of his villains.
  17. #23642
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    Quote Originally Posted by OngBonga View Post
    The problem is that anything that is shiny and gold, other than gold, is tacky and shit, or at least perceived as such.
    IDK if an actually gold plated phone would be any less tacky and shit-looking.

    Once people found out it was actually 14k gold plating, they might be intellectually impressed, but c'mon... it's not going to look "good," but may work as a street thug status symbol.
  18. #23643
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    I'd say calls and texts are way less than 5% of my total phone usage. Actually it would take me a while to even notice if they weren't working, as long as interwebs works.

    I think the color of my current samsung is champagne gold or some shit, like who cares. It's a tool, and yeah I think it was cheaper than the basic colors.
    Our brains have just one scale, and we resize our experiences to fit.

    You wake me up early in the morning to tell me that I'm right? Please wait until I'm wrong.

  19. #23644
    oskar's Avatar
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    I'm already having some buyers remorse. Apparently it is impossibly to change the google navigation language separate from the OS language, so I'd have to change the OS language to german, which I would already hate, but that doesn't matter because that's impossible without rooting the piece of shit. Now I have a phone in a shitty color I don't like that can't even do the one thing I bought it for unless I follow a wall-of-text instruction on how to install a custom rom which probably won't work correctly. I'll ask real nice if I can return it.
    edit:
    Oh fuck me, after a factory reset you have to put in the name and password of the first person who used this phone... or else you have to load a custom rom I guess. Fuck everything about this. Fuck smartphones, holy fucking shit!
    Last edited by oskar; 06-20-2017 at 01:41 PM.
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  20. #23645
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    Quote Originally Posted by oskar View Post
    Oh fuck me, after a factory reset you have to put in the name and password of the first person who used this phone... or else you have to load a custom rom I guess. Fuck everything about this. Fuck smartphones, holy fucking shit!

    The phone wasn't properly wiped before they sold it to you
    My dream... is to fly... over the rainbow... so high...


    Cogito ergo sum

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  21. #23646
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    Nah, you can't actually wipe it any more properly without manually loading a different rom. This is a new feature. Every time you reset it will ask for the google account of the first person who used it.
    Luckily there are a million exploits that let you get around this. I also fixed the language issue. The solution was to set my whole google account to the language I want my device to be in, so now I only have the minor inconvenience of having to use a different search engine. The seller didn't respond. I assume the phone is stolen. I'm no good samaritan so I'll just sand off the gold and maybe respray it if I'm feeling ambitious and then the... The shame will feel manageable.
    Last edited by oskar; 06-21-2017 at 11:58 AM.
    The strengh of a hero is defined by the weakness of his villains.
  22. #23647
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    If you feel bad about it, just donate ten bucks to a charity for people who've had their phones stolen.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  23. #23648
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    For a second my brain thought there was such a thing and started thinking about it, and I had to step in and tell my brain it's being retarded. I'll punish it with schnapps. My dad's 72 year old neighbor put me onto it. She always gives me hard liquor and I'm starting to like it. It's the red bull of the alcohols. It just does it's job.
    The strengh of a hero is defined by the weakness of his villains.
  24. #23649
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    For a second my brain thought there was such a thing and started thinking about it...
    That's as good as actually googling it, and therefore you tried. Your conscience is officially clear.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  25. #23650
    oskar's Avatar
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    I did google it just to be sure. With all the 10 different genders and yoga for cats and whatnot, who knows what's real anymore.
    The strengh of a hero is defined by the weakness of his villains.
  26. #23651
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    I'm downloading the last episode of Better Call Saul right now. I immediately had to check how many episodes of Twin Peaks are left to fill the Void until Rick and Morty, and it's 10 more! 18 fucking episodes. God bless David Lynch!
    The strengh of a hero is defined by the weakness of his villains.
  27. #23652
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    I'm downloading the last episode of Better Call Saul right now.
    Bet you can't guess what's gonna happen.

    Spoiler:
    did you actually fucking look you weak fucker?
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  28. #23653
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    Well joke's on you, I've already watched it. What a finale! I could see myself rewatching the entire season right now. So many things I feared would happen didn't and everything tied together nicely. Hard to rate something right after finishing it, but this was quite possibly my favorite season of any TV show ever. Now I have two episodes of Twin Peaks to catch up, I have almost a whole bottle of hard liquor left and I only have two hours of work tomorrow.
    The strengh of a hero is defined by the weakness of his villains.
  29. #23654
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    It was ok. I had a feeling...

    *actual spoiler alert*
    Spoiler:
    ...Chuck would kill himself.


    Wake me up when Rick & Morty is back on.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  30. #23655
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    I'm not sure
    Spoiler:
    he actually killed himself. You have a lot of time to rethink your options when you're killing yourself with fire. If Gale the chemist from Breaking bad is any indication, Chuck is dead as fuck, but there is still some wiggle room to keep him alive without some bullshit twist. I'm hopeful.

    2 hours of Twin Peaks coming up. I'll be over in the drunk thread later.
    The strengh of a hero is defined by the weakness of his villains.
  31. #23656
    Quote Originally Posted by oskar View Post
    Well joke's on you, I've already watched it. What a finale! I could see myself rewatching the entire season right now. So many things I feared would happen didn't and everything tied together nicely. Hard to rate something right after finishing it, but this was quite possibly my favorite season of any TV show ever. Now I have two episodes of Twin Peaks to catch up, I have almost a whole bottle of hard liquor left and I only have two hours of work tomorrow.
    I think that it's been pretty brilliant but apparently enough of the breaking bad crowd have completely lost interest* and it's up in the air as to whether it'll get a 4th season.

    *Understandable as most people just got on the BB hype train and this can be pretty slow at times. Bar little snippets of Jimmy's past it's not really the BB character they were invested in.
  32. #23657
    Quote Originally Posted by Savy View Post
    Bar little snippets of Jimmy's past it's not really the BB character they were invested in.
    My thoughts exactly. I've got 2 episodes to go, but I'm still wondering "where the fuck is Saul Goodman"
  33. #23658
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    Quote Originally Posted by Savy View Post
    Why did no one tell me that Norm Macdonald is great?
    Norm Macdonald is one of my favorite comedians of all time. You can hold up his last two specials to anyone. Norm Macdonald Live is dumbfounding when you consider it's mostly a non scripted show with two writers. The Super Dave and Stephen Merchant episodes are my favorites. Season 3 should be in the can, I hope the only reason they haven't aired yet is because a network is picking it up.
    Along the same line: Dave Attell is working like a horse. Road Work is fantastic, he's planning a new special for 2018 and he has a million different projects. Doug Stanhope's Comedian's Comedian's Comedians is coming up and I'm super excited for Morgan Murphy to be in it. She's a great standup who got caught up in commercial success, so I'm really happy she's back on a proper stage.
    The strengh of a hero is defined by the weakness of his villains.
  34. #23659
    I was short on small bills so I put a 5-spot into the vending machine, and it gave me golden dollars as change.

    When did they put John Adams on these things? What happened to Sacajawea?
  35. #23660
    Tom Segura is pretty good
  36. #23661
    Quote Originally Posted by oskar View Post
    Norm Macdonald is one of my favorite comedians of all time. You can hold up his last two specials to anyone. Norm Macdonald Live is dumbfounding when you consider it's mostly a non scripted show with two writers. The Super Dave and Stephen Merchant episodes are my favorites. Season 3 should be in the can, I hope the only reason they haven't aired yet is because a network is picking it up.
    Along the same line: Dave Attell is working like a horse. Road Work is fantastic, he's planning a new special for 2018 and he has a million different projects. Doug Stanhope's Comedian's Comedian's Comedians is coming up and I'm super excited for Morgan Murphy to be in it. She's a great standup who got caught up in commercial success, so I'm really happy she's back on a proper stage.
    I'm not sure what it is about him that I find so interesting. I kind of wonder how much of him is a character, he's clearly really fucking funny which is the most important bit, but there is just that something which seems a bit unique that really intrigues me.

    Atell I've only heard great things about (mostly from Stanhope on his podcast lol) but the only thing I've seen of him was on netflix which was ok but poorly put together. I had never heard of Morgan Murphy until she appeared on the Stanhope podcast and she seems fairly cool. What exactly did she get caught up in? From what I've heard from her (admittedly like 3 podcasts with her on) the only thing I've really gathered is that she loves Jimmy Fallon.

    That podcast is pretty much the only one that I religiously listen to when new episodes come out. Which as I just looked has a new episode out
    Last edited by Savy; 06-21-2017 at 03:17 PM.
  37. #23662
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    Quote Originally Posted by oskar
    wiggle room
    Yeah maybe, but it would be gay.

    Spoiler:
    I expect the next series to start with a funeral
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  38. #23663
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    2 Broke Girls. Some shitcom. She's the writer. You can find some clips of her early standup on youtube and she has a special on Netflix. She's hilarious.
    Norm is extremely humble and not because that's his schtick, he really is. But underneath that slow moving Ambien personality he has one of the quickest brains in comedy. If you look through his Conan appearances and there are dozens, they strategically put him in anytime there's a shit guest so he can save the interview, and he always does.
    Here's an example from his own show:
    Norm: Our producer tells us we have to go to break.
    Super Dave: On this show? Who's sponsoring this?
    Norm: Adam over here has Sponsors
    Adam Eget: I got sponsors
    Super Dave: Like who?
    Norm: He has sponsors, because he's an alcoholic.

    Obviously any joke like this is pre-planned, but you know he has hundreds and he knows how to manipulate people into setting up the punchline for him like with the "I'm a deeply closeted gay man" joke.

    Anyway, I can't believe you didn't care for Attell. He has some of my favorite jokes of all times. "Hoarders, anyone watching that show? I can't stop watching Hoarders because I can't find my remote under the pile of dead cats. Some of these write themselves". Or his bit about dolphin swimming in his last Netflix special. He also did with Comedy Underground what Stanhope did with "The Unbookables" only with 10 times the effort.
    The strengh of a hero is defined by the weakness of his villains.
  39. #23664
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    Yeah... fuck you Ong. You're probably right, but fuck you.
    I'll have to head over to the drunk thread real soon.
    The strengh of a hero is defined by the weakness of his villains.
  40. #23665
    Yeah I looked through some of his appearances on Conan and they were all pretty great, bar the one with thte girl from OITNB where she was just such a bore it ruined the whole thing of which he was still the highlight. That chairman of the "bored" line was amazing.

    I've not seen enough of Attell to rate him, when I said poorly put together I meant filmed, edited nothing on him I'd assume and if it was he's shit at that, doesn't reflect on his comedy though.

    I've never seen two broke girls as I just assumed it'd be shit from the get go.

    edit - With regards to Norm it's when he's telling something that is obviously pre-planned and he's just stringing people along but laughing. It just works I suppose.
    Last edited by Savy; 06-21-2017 at 04:08 PM.
  41. #23666
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    I thought it was pretty clever. These shows are on a shoestring budget and he cuts production cost by handing cameras to the audience. Also the feel was deliberate I believe. You have multiple openings to a show in a row, so obviously they weren't going for continuity. I didn't mind it.
    If you don't know Attell just go through his CD's and start with Skans for the Memories. Dave's Old Porn is also worth watching if you can dig it up.
    The strengh of a hero is defined by the weakness of his villains.
  42. #23667
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    Quote Originally Posted by oskar View Post
    Yeah... fuck you Ong. You're probably right, but fuck you.
    I'll have to head over to the drunk thread real soon.
    This is an excellent way of making our spoiler conversation appear much more interesting than it is, hopefully resulting in some curious soul being spoiled.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  43. #23668
    You kids are probably too young to remember when Norm did Weekend Update.

    "The number 1 album in America belongs to the band 'Better than Ezra'. At number 2.....'Ezra'"
  44. #23669
    Enjoying the slower nature of Saul so far. It's more like extended foreplay that's not far from a climax now, rather than the wham bam up against a kitchen wall that BB provided. Hoping it gets more time - maybe Netflix is more likely to do that without the need to generate advertising revenue.

    Going back to the Mayweather thing, it's a great time for British boxing fans at the moment, so we're getting back into it. Real shame there isn't an animal like Tyson anymore though.
  45. #23670
    I feel like I shoudl have already but I may not have, Adventure Time is genuinely the best thing on TV. I love Rick and Morty and I suppose it's a different itch but Adventure Time really is GOAT. The really shit booking of it has confused me and I'm lost as to where I last watched it but I can never recommend this enough which is more so amazing because when I was at uni and I knew people who were watching it I thought it was awful edgy shit. Which tbf it was a season and a bit in and it's not the best but season 4/5 is genuinely awesome.

    It's not a fair comparison because over a short amount of time Rick and Morty is much much better, but adventure time is a whole thing that is great, Rick and Morty isn't. There are a lot more throw away episodes of Adventure Tiem but the peaks are so fucking high.

    It makes me feel like it's hard to suggest to people, with R&M I'm just like watch 3 episodes it's great, with adventure time I'm like yeah maybe for 2 seasons it's meh but omg the whole time situation that goes on is GOAT and Ice King goes from shit to a fantastic character, Marceleen is great (yet the mini series on her was good not great) princes bubblegum development great. So much to it.
    Last edited by Savy; 06-21-2017 at 06:52 PM.

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