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Originally Posted by a500lbgorilla
I prefer the oxford comma because it makes more obvious sense to me. You've got a list? Break 'em up with commas.
It's best left as optional. In fact, every grammar "rule" is best left as optional. As someone who is both a technical writer and a creative writer, I can attest to the fact that it is MUCH easier to write a clear, smooth sentence in creative writing because all words/punctuation/etc can be used on an as-needed basis.
You should be given the leeway to prioritize commas based on where the reader most needs a break and/or direction on the logic of the sentence.
Breaking up clauses in a complex sentence is much much much much more important than separating an item in a list that already has a conjunction, so if a list comes in the first half of a complex sentence, then you're usually best off leaving out the oxford comma. Same goes for sentences that begin with dependent clauses, eg: "Before you finish the bread, eggs or milk, add them to the grocery list."
Oxford comma is very nice for handling nested lists because all of the items preceded by a comma neatly and subtly stand out to the reader as a member of the parent list: "I can either wear flip-flops, sandals, ballet flats, or shoes and socks."
If there's an aside in any of the list items, the commas that set the aside apart are much more important than the Oxford comma, and having both looks messy, eg: " ... food and, most importantly of all, copious amounts of copulation."
If you're using large, New Yorker-style sentences where each "list" item is it's own complex ecosystem, then it's usually better to use an Oxford comma because you're reader is probably looking for a breath, but if you feel the sentence is smoother without it, then DON'T USE IT DUH!
Otherwise, I generally adhere to using as little punctuation as will get the point across clearly and smoothly. I understand the more "logical" appeal of the Oxford comma, but my style of writing is already garrulous enough--the more I can get them to the end of a sentence without pausing 10 times along the way, the better.
Incidentally, it's a massive peeve of mine when people try to create more rules than necessary. Generalized advice is cautionary but useful enough to maybe be worth it, but the written word needs less rules, not more. The fact that we have mandates on using commas before dependent clauses and before "because" and before quoted text (the list could go on and on, and I'm just talking about commas for crissake!) already does enough damage to technical writing; just live and let live the few remaining spots where we get options.
(Yes, my opinions are so boring that I'm emphatically anti-categoricalist even when it comes to grammar.)
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