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Randomness thread, part two.

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  1. #25576
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    Your fault for being a white fucking male.
    For your information I identify as a transqueerified reverse-bisexual Nepalese saber-tooth scorpion.
  2. #25577
    MadMojoMonkey's Avatar
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    fascinating

    There's no direct answer in a brief internet search for the question, "Do scorpions have teeth?"

    Closest I got was this:
    "Along their underside, scorpions also have a pair of organs that can best be described as sensory combs. These ‟pectines” have teeth that sense surface vibration and texture, allowing this avid hunter to be constantly aware of any approaching prey or danger."

    which is cool.
  3. #25578
    Quote Originally Posted by MadMojoMonkey View Post
    There's no direct answer in a brief internet search for the question, "Do scorpions have teeth?".
    That's because how I choose to self-identify has nothing to do with zoological dentistry. That's a false construct of your oppressive binary-gender regime.

    Btw, my preferred pronoun is 'stinger'
    Last edited by BananaStand; 02-20-2018 at 01:05 PM.
  4. #25579
    MadMojoMonkey's Avatar
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    Playing the victim card again?

    I was not talking about you.

    Something which could, maybe, if taken a certain way, victimize you is not necessarily even about you, let alone using that specific context which victimizes you.

    Which you are keen to point out about other people, but somehow insensitive to how often you do it.
  5. #25580
    Quote Originally Posted by MadMojoMonkey View Post
    Playing the victim card again?

    I was not talking about you.

    Something which could, maybe, if taken a certain way, victimize you is not necessarily even about you, let alone using that specific context which victimizes you.

    Which you are keen to point out about other people, but somehow insensitive to how often you do it.
    Just the fact that you would do a google search to try and challenge my saber-toothed identification is a micro-aggression against my right to self-identify as I please.

    I said I'm a saber-toothed scorpion. If your response to that is anything other than complete, unquestioning, unwavering acceptance....then you're a dangerous oppressor.
  6. #25581
    MadMojoMonkey's Avatar
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    Your assumption that my google search was to discredit you, rather than being spurned by my own selfish curiosity, is a mistake.
  7. #25582
    Quote Originally Posted by MadMojoMonkey View Post
    Your assumption that my google search was to discredit you, rather than being spurned by my own selfish curiosity, is a mistake.
    That's the nature of a micro-aggression. You don't even know you're doing it.

    I told you, I'm a saber-toothed scorpion. And your first thought is "I wonder if that's real?"

    Well it is real, you intolerant fascist, I just said it was. I am a scorpion, and I have teeth. I'm not sure why your curiosity was spurned at all. You already have all the facts and have been presented with a definitive conclusion. Any other assertion is an offense against my individual rights.
    Last edited by BananaStand; 02-20-2018 at 03:23 PM.
  8. #25583
    Quote Originally Posted by BananaStand View Post
    That's the nature of a micro-aggression. You don't even know you're doing it.

    I told you, I'm a saber-toothed scorpion. And your first thought is "I wonder if that's real?"
    I find this hard to disagree with, especially because the first thing I did was google cunt teeth.
    Opportunities knock
    was really just the pizza man
  9. #25584
    Quote Originally Posted by Savy View Post
    I find this hard to disagree with, especially because the first thing I did was google cunt teeth.
    Are you trying to say that you identify as a cunt?
  10. #25585
    OngBonga's Avatar
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    I recently bought a chess computer from a charity shop for two quid. Turned it on an hour or two ago, immediately set it to top level (72), and currently playing a game. It's taking 10-15 minutes per move, while I'm taking a minute or two at most. I think I have a positional edge which will soon become a pawn advantage, but let's see what it's got. I want it to win, but it's probably too much to hope.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  11. #25586
    MadMojoMonkey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BananaStand View Post
    I told you, I'm a saber-toothed scorpion. And your first thought is "I wonder if that's real?"
    False.
    I thought, "I wonder if any other scorpions have teeth."

    Your initial assertion that I was in any way referencing you was a mistake, your continued insistence that you get to decide the context of my statement is the real aggression, here.
    I wasn't talking about you.

    What do you have against other scorpions? Are you some kind of sabre-tooth-centric? Other scorpions with non-sabre teeth are offensive to you?

    I expressed curiosity and learning a new thing which I thought was cool. You're expressing judgement and condemnation. The aggressor here is you.
  12. #25587
    Quote Originally Posted by MadMojoMonkey View Post
    False.
    I thought, "I wonder if any other scorpions have teeth."
    No....go read your quote above. You've changed your story. that probably means you're full of shit.

    Your initial assertion that I was in any way referencing you was a mistake
    False

    your continued insistence that you get to decide the context of my statement is the real aggression, here.
    False again. Your insistence that I am not allowed to choose the context of my own perceptions is typical of primate oppressors.

    I wasn't talking about you.
    But you were thinking about me.

    What do you have against other scorpions? Are you some kind of sabre-tooth-centric? Other scorpions with non-sabre teeth are offensive to you?
    They are trying to monopolize the label of "scorpion" for themselves.

    I expressed curiosity hatred, bigotry, and species-phobia and learning a new thing form of micro-aggression which I thought was cool. You're expressing judgement and condemnation speaking out against intolerance and prejudice. The aggressor here is you a misguided monkey.
    All fixed
  13. #25588
    MadMojoMonkey's Avatar
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    SMH.

    This is why I feel regret for posting on FTR anymore.

    Later, guys!
  14. #25589
    Quote Originally Posted by OngBonga View Post
    I recently bought a chess computer from a charity shop for two quid. Turned it on an hour or two ago, immediately set it to top level (72), and currently playing a game. It's taking 10-15 minutes per move, while I'm taking a minute or two at most. I think I have a positional edge which will soon become a pawn advantage, but let's see what it's got. I want it to win, but it's probably too much to hope.
    That's cool, how good do you think it is?

    Have you been putting the effort in more recently?
    Opportunities knock
    was really just the pizza man
  15. #25590
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    Quote Originally Posted by Savy View Post
    That's cool, how good do you think it is?

    Have you been putting the effort in more recently?
    I'm trying to put more effort in, but so far that has meant playing infinte plane chess and now bulldog chess, instead of reading up on classical openings. But with this computer I can have a game running all the time.

    We're around four hours in now, so far only a bishop/knight trade and no pawns captured, so yeah I think this might take a while. It just beeped, brb.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  16. #25591
    OngBonga's Avatar
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    How good do I think it is? Ask me after the game, which is likely to be finished tomorrow now (luckily it saves the current position). It doesn't take long to take it off its opening book. At the moment I'd guess it's around 1700 maybe? Probably on a par with my blitz game, but it isn't touching me if I analyse properly. But let's see how it copes with the middlegame. I think it's got a pawn, but it's coming at a cost. I'm going to have a lot of counterplay.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  17. #25592
    Quote Originally Posted by MadMojoMonkey View Post
    SMH.

    This is why I feel regret for posting on FTR anymore.

    Later, guys!
    Wait... I was absolutely sure you were being a straight man(in the comedic sense) to Banana's obvious, but nonetheless amazing satire.

    How could you possibly have taken that seriously?
  18. #25593
    OngBonga's Avatar
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    Mojo's satire too subtle for you?

    He's mocking dwarfman.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  19. #25594
    MadMojoMonkey's Avatar
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    I'm not taking his stance seriously. C'mon, man.
    You shouldn't take my, "Later, guys!" too seriously, either.
  20. #25595
    MadMojoMonkey's Avatar
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    I am comically straight, though.

    E.g. I've had conversations with people I just met, and my friends were like, "You totally just flirted with that gay guy for an hour." And my response was, "I was just talking, not flirting." They were like, "He definitely thought you were flirting and was flirting back." I was all, "I don't even know what flirting is, then."

    I was in my mid 20's at the time.

    I doubt I know what flirting is any better today than I did then.
  21. #25596
    Dont' take my identification as a scorpion too seriously either.

    I've recently decided that I'm now an Indonesian intersex progresso-servative albino bookshelf.
  22. #25597
    OngBonga's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BananaStand View Post
    Dont' take my identification as a scorpion too seriously either.

    I've recently decided that I'm now an Indonesian intersex progresso-servative albino bookshelf.
    I find this offensive and consider this a hate crime. Give me half an hour or so to muster up some bollocks as to how that can possibly make any sense.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  23. #25598
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    teeth a possibility
  24. #25599
    What the fuck?? They didn't have enough wood to give the guy two ears????

    Also, it looks devilish, and your forcing of religious imagery into my eyeballs is offensive to me as a person, and as a piece of furniture. I dont' know why. But whatever bollocks Ong comes up with in the next 30 minutes goes ditto for me.
  25. #25600
    Quote Originally Posted by MadMojoMonkey View Post
    I doubt I know what flirting is any better today than I did then.
    It's when the penis goes in
  26. #25601
    I'm wondering which one of you clandestine motherfuckers is Captain Awesome.
  27. #25602
    OngBonga's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BananaStand View Post
    What the fuck?? They didn't have enough wood to give the guy two ears????

    Also, it looks devilish, and your forcing of religious imagery into my eyeballs is offensive to me as a person, and as a piece of furniture. I dont' know why. But whatever bollocks Ong comes up with in the next 30 minutes goes ditto for me.
    I had to sleep on it. I find it offensive because I'm a snowflake, and snowflakes are protected by law.

    Yeah bitch, I played the snowflake card.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  28. #25603
    yeah but did you play the precious snowflake card?
  29. #25604
    Quote Originally Posted by MadMojoMonkey View Post
    I stumbled across 8 out of 10 cats does countdown recently.

    I left a playlist on in the background over the weekend and occasionally played the anagram and numbers games.

    It's so different to American TV. They openly swear. They rather viciously mock each other, and throw jokes around that would get them lambasted over here.
    E.g. openly making gay jokes to the gay guy, or openly making Nazi jokes to the German guy.
    That kind of thing would have half the USA hollering bigot and racism.

    Jimmy Carr is kind of a dick to everyone else, but when they play back at him, he is a good sport, so ... meh. It reminds me of my closest friends giving each other a bit of shit in good fun.
    Except that they make it pretty clear that they're not friends with him, which rubs me a bit the wrong way, but not grumbling about it, just noting.

    Also: I know it's a comedy show and they're doing caricatures, so grain of salt, but damn... their impressions of Americans is amusing.
    E.g. One guy puts on a cowboy hat and starts talking in a mock Texas accent, and simply refers to himself as "the kid" and speaks about himself in the 3rd person making veiled demands for the rest of the episode. "The kid wants a vowel..."

    I'm not taking it as anything aside from amusing.

    It's interesting that whenever a Brit does an impression of an American accent, they always go to the southwestern cowboy, "Howdy, Pardner" style.
    I wonder if there's a similar thing in return. Like, do Americans faking a British accent tend to pick a dialect or accent from, say, London?
    It's a comedy show (8/10 cats) that as like a one off joke thing they did on channel 4 "comedy people do popular game shows" and it happened to be so popular that they carried on doing it.

    Sean lock is fantastic but it's actually a pretty terrible game in that basically every joke they could do about the game is finished in 3 episodes and it's just people repeating them.

    The sketch you're talking about isn't even someone doing an impression of an american though it's very specifically of a cowboy because he's doing it based off the different hats he wears. I'm not sure how you can miss that considering it's the whole fucking point of the joke why do you think he kept changing hats?
    Opportunities knock
    was really just the pizza man
  30. #25605
    That being said I find it funny that there has recently been a bit of fuss about Friends not being that PC and how that's left people in an utter state of bafflement because friends nostalgia and racism have some sort of ultimate battle on the whole spectrum of a 13 year olds mind that grew up in the 2000s.

    I just want to tell them all how horrible that is before suggesting their nans favourite carry on film.
    Opportunities knock
    was really just the pizza man
  31. #25606
    Can people who have used drugs before, especially those who are of adult age and have parents that have either done drugs with them or you have convinced to do drugs with them please come onto the discord channel and speak to me please. I kind of want to try something out (results of which I would post on ftr if interesting) but I need to shoot the shit with some drug users first really. It's to do with taking drugs with my family who are fairly non-drug user in the first place, one of which is anti-drug the other not so much but implies he rarely has (which may or may not be true).

    https://discord.gg/qeuRKJ

    Is the copy, I may ask spoon to make a channel so it's slightly more restricted (i.e. not randoms, people i know on here I welcome) I just need to cover my back a bit).
    Last edited by Savy; Today at 01:09 AM.
    Opportunities knock
    was really just the pizza man
  32. #25607
    MadMojoMonkey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Savy View Post
    I'm not sure how you can miss that considering it's the whole fucking point of the joke why do you think he kept changing hats?
    I wasn't really paying attention / just had it on while I was doing other things, so I probably missed loads of stuff.
    The general point I was making wasn't predicated solely on that sketch.

    I guess the reason it's so odd to me is that Hollywood uses the same Midwest accent in almost all films and TV shows, so I'd think that the most common American accent anyone would be familiar with is the Midwest one.
  33. #25608
    There is a pro balm where Lock and John go to American and as you can susgguest hilarious encored
    Last edited by Savy; Today at 04:28 AM.
    Opportunities knock
    was really just the pizza man
  34. #25609
    OngBonga's Avatar
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    I've shared a spliff with my Mother, once.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  35. #25610
    Quote Originally Posted by OngBonga View Post
    once.
    It got weird, I see.

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