Select Page
Poker Forum
Over 1,288,000 Posts!
Poker ForumFTR Community

Randomness thread, part two.

Page 347 of 400 FirstFirst ... 247297337345346347348349357397 ... LastLast
Results 25,951 to 26,025 of 29982
  1. #25951
    oskar's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    6,712
    Location
    in ur accounts... confiscating ur funz
    There is nothing wrong with a cold bath and a razor blade, but I am personally partial to the ol' rope and rickety stool.
    The strengh of a hero is defined by the weakness of his villains.
  2. #25952
    Fuck that. If I were so inclined, I'd probably traumatise a train driver.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  3. #25953
    Quote Originally Posted by oskar View Post
    There is nothing wrong with a cold bath and a razor blade, but I am personally partial to the ol' rope and rickety stool.
    Replace rope with chicken wire. Set it up, glue hands to head jump, makes it look like you pulled your own head off.

    If you or anyone else has been affectd by the issues brought up in the posts above please do visit the following
    https://www.itv.com/thismorning/suic...tion-helplines
  4. #25954
    This goes out to anyone involved, at any level, in food service.

    When I order mayonnaise on a sandwich, it's because I like mayonnaise.

    I like the flavor. I like the texture. I like what it does when it soaks into the bread.

    What is the fucking point of slathering on a micro-thin layer of mayo onto just one of the pieces of bread? It's not enough to even taste within the landscape of bread, meat and other fixins. It's not enough to affect the texture of the bread, or enhance the flavor of the meat.

    Obviously, next time I'll just order triple-mayo. But I'm legitimately wondering...why would they even make it like this in the first place!

    This shit I'm eating right now definitely has mayo on it. I can see it. But it adds NOTHING to the sandwich.

    I'm friggen sick of this. Every shop in town, I need to order extra mayonnaise just for them to make it right.

    There are people, professionally employed in food preparation, and this is what they come up with. I want to know what part of their formal culinary training suggested to them that this is even close to an effective use of condiments.
  5. #25955
    MadMojoMonkey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    9,659
    Location
    St Louis, MO
    Probably the part that says if you can use fewer ingredients without losing your clientele, then you are making a few extra cents per 100 sandwiches.

    IDK, though. Maybe people in your area have complained that there was too much mayo on their sandwiches and all the people whom thought there was a good amount didn't say anything, because everything was fine.

    Happens all the time in academia. You get 50 students complaining about something, so you make a change. Then next semester, you get 150 students complaining about the change.
    Sometimes you just can't win.
  6. #25956
    Jack Sawyer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    7,669
    Location
    Jack-high straight flush motherfucker
    I think I finally found her. Matter of fact, I think she found me.

    Unexpected af. I guess, that's how those things work.
    My dream... is to fly... over the rainbow... so high...


    Cogito ergo sum

    VHS is like a book? and a book is like a stack of kindles.
    Hey, I'm in a movie!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYdwe3ArFWA
  7. #25957
    MadMojoMonkey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    9,659
    Location
    St Louis, MO
    Quote Originally Posted by Jack Sawyer View Post
    I think I finally found her. Matter of fact, I think she found me.

    Unexpected af. I guess, that's how those things work.
  8. #25958
    Jack Sawyer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    7,669
    Location
    Jack-high straight flush motherfucker
    Quote Originally Posted by MadMojoMonkey View Post


    Thanks man, I've been walking around smiling for no reason for some time now
    My dream... is to fly... over the rainbow... so high...


    Cogito ergo sum

    VHS is like a book? and a book is like a stack of kindles.
    Hey, I'm in a movie!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYdwe3ArFWA
  9. #25959
    MadMojoMonkey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    9,659
    Location
    St Louis, MO
    Please go on...
    I mean... it's the internets, but
    What's she like?
  10. #25960
    Jack Sawyer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    7,669
    Location
    Jack-high straight flush motherfucker
    Quote Originally Posted by MadMojoMonkey View Post
    Please go on...
    I mean... it's the internets, but
    What's she like?
    So that's how quoting works on mobile

    Dude, she's amazing. She listens engagedly when I say things, she loves to converse with me. She's a great cook. She loves the fit life. Our media taste is basically the same. That obscure anime from 20 years ago? She saw and liked it too wtf. Another example, we were both high ranked GTA online players somehow before even having known each other. I like to make people laugh. She loves laughing. She has a fiery personality, and yet I can suss her immediately. I have a laissez faire personality and yet she does not abuse it. I understand her. She understands me.

    Do you like Star Wars? But of course young Padawan, who doesn't she says.

    How about Saint Seya? Kanon was Saga's brother she says. WTF

    This is just skimming the surface of course. We have so many things in common it's ridiculous. And to top it all off, she's a bonafide hottie.

    I haven't felt like this, actually, ever.
  11. #25961
    Dw pal I'll be here when it crashes and burns.
  12. #25962
    MadMojoMonkey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    9,659
    Location
    St Louis, MO


    Awesome, awesome, awesome!

    Nerdy girls are the best!


    This sounds kinda Mexican... are you nerds into this?
  13. #25963
    jyms is onlne. Who's getting the banhammer now?
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  14. #25964
    The a cappella band... they're talented, but it doesn't stop me hitting STOP after about three seconds.

    I prefer Beardyman. This is how I like my a cappella.

    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  15. #25965
    MadMojoMonkey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    9,659
    Location
    St Louis, MO
    Ha! I made it 37 seconds on your video.
    I am clearly the winner, here.
  16. #25966
    You like techno more than I like whatever that is, obviously

    In case it's not obvious to you, all of what he's doing there is looped vocals. Fucking techno a capella.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  17. #25967
    Have you ever walked by a conversation, only heard the last sentence, and wonder what the hell you just stumbled upon?

    That just happened to me when I walked through the accounting office.....

    "And my other two husbands were Italian!"
  18. #25968
    http://www.foxnews.com/us/2018/09/17...olice-say.html

    This guy has got to be the greatest criminal ever!!

    He's not even worried about getting caught. He never looks around, not once!

    He's caught red-handed on video. Someone is standing 5 feet away from him, with a camera pointed directly at him. And the guy still gets the loot, then gets away without being identified, and with two kids in tow.

    That's un-fucking believable
  19. #25969
    First comment on the PD's facebook post:

    You have to be in some pretty dire straits to resort to stealing from a game. He was probably going to sell the stuff to feed those kids. That poor man and his family.
    I've never been that desperate, I haven't walked in his shoes. If I ever were to be desperate enough to do that, I would hope my fellow man would show me compassion.
    Now I see how the guy got away with it. It's ok to steal if you're poor. Makes perfect sense.
  20. #25970
    I dunno about greatest criminal ever. Chances are, he'll get caught, and the risk to reward ratio seems a little off. I doubt it's dangerous, I'm not going to jump on that bandwagon. But it's certainly not a good example to set, he's encouraging his kids to break the law. A court might decide he's unfit to be a father. Seems like a big risk to take for a couple hundred bucks worth of loot.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  21. #25971
    lol

    FB Comment: Hey look, white trash!
    Reply: Look closer!
  22. #25972
    MadMojoMonkey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    9,659
    Location
    St Louis, MO
    Quote Originally Posted by OngBonga View Post
    You like techno more than I like whatever that is, obviously

    In case it's not obvious to you, all of what he's doing there is looped vocals. Fucking techno a capella.
    It was obvious, and I've heard this style of music and liked it in the past.
    To be fair, I didn't really give it a full chance to see if I'd like the way it built up and to see whether he landed the spaceship or sent it off to the universe - to borrow from a friend of mine whom loves techno/dance music.

    I had to get back to work, and felt like giving you a hard time, is all.
    I'll give it a full listen when I get time.
  23. #25973
    Quote Originally Posted by MadMojoMonkey View Post
    It was obvious, and I've heard this style of music and liked it in the past.
    To be fair, I didn't really give it a full chance to see if I'd like the way it built up and to see whether he landed the spaceship or sent it off to the universe - to borrow from a friend of mine whom loves techno/dance music.

    I had to get back to work, and felt like giving you a hard time, is all.
    I'll give it a full listen when I get time.
    To be fair, he's done lots of diverse stuff, inlcuding comedy, some of which is much more likely to be up your street than stomping techno.

    But I love techno, so I posted that clip.

    If you're gonna give him a go, watch his comedy/music set at the Edinburgh Fringe...
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  24. #25974
    Wow, this looks like some heavy duty disaster shit going on there. Hope everyone's friends and family are safe.

  25. #25975
    Isn't that spoon's backyard?
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  26. #25976
    Meh, in the pantheon of hurricanes, this one seems pretty mild. Hurricanes in general aren't really that bad. A few people die, most of whom were on borrowed time anyway. Property is damaged, but it's almost always insured. People lose family pictures, they cry, life goes on.

    What blows my mind is how the coverage shifts depending on who's in the white house.

    Go look up the size (diameter) of Hurricane Katrina, and this most recent Hurricane. Compare that to the size of Hurricane Sandy in 2012.

    Sandy was several X's the size of both of those other hurricanes combined. It's almost like it didn't even happened. Apparently FEMA really had their shit together when Obama was in charge, but somehow the place went to total shit when a republican took office. Apparently global warming wasn't causing hurricanes in 2012, but in 2018 it's all Trump's fault.
  27. #25977
    I've noticed that reports are referencing climate change, while completely failing to inform us that this has so far been a quiet hurricane season.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  28. #25978
    Quote Originally Posted by OngBonga View Post
    Isn't that spoon's backyard?
    I think so yeah.
  29. #25979
    He's in one of the Carolinas, just can't remember which one.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  30. #25980
    It's NC I think. He mentioned Raleigh before iirc.
  31. #25981
    Cool story bro:

    Back home I lived in a prairie city where we hardly ever got much rain. Then one year, it rained for three days straight and we had a flood. But because we had a deep river valley the only person who actually died was this guy who lived down in the valley in his camper trailer and was basically a caricature of one of these "i done lived here for 42 years and i ain't a movin' now consarn it!" guys you see on TV. And really, all he had to do was get in his truck and go up a road and out of the river valley for a couple of days until the water subsided.

    I'll never forget that idiot. Seeing him get interviewed on TV as the flood waters are coming and thinking 'you're gonna die you stubborn dumb fuck'.
  32. #25982
    Quote Originally Posted by Poopadoop View Post
    'you're gonna die you stubborn dumb fuck'.
    Maybe he wanted to. What's it to you?
  33. #25983
    Give the man a Darwin award while the rest of us crack open a beer.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  34. #25984
    Quote Originally Posted by OngBonga View Post
    Give the man a Darwin award while the rest of us crack open a beer.
    It seems like there's one like him in every disaster. And in this case he was the only one in mortal danger, and it's like he decided 'well, someone's gotta be that guy who refuses to run from nature and then dies because of it. I guess it's down to me this time. No choice really.'
  35. #25985
    I feel like 'suicide by nature' is a thing.

    Like, maybe someone recently got diagnosed with cancer, isn't pursuing treatment, and decides they're just gonna die with all their stuff.

    Similar story, there was a guy who was kind of famous in the hiking community around here. He was a trail-steward in charge of the Franconia Ridge trail which is a very famous day hike (National Geographic Top 10). Then one day he got cancer. So one day in dead of winter, he marched up to the ridge, and sat down. That's where they found him.

    Kind if a dick move on his part. But then again, that was probably the most peaceful and welcome death anyone has ever experienced.
    Last edited by BananaStand; 09-17-2018 at 07:30 PM.
  36. #25986
    I'm in canada right now. Everything is in fucking celsius and they all want to cover everything they eat in vinegar.

    Apparently hunger is a crime here, and everyone is sentenced to ruin their food as punishment.
  37. #25987
    the hotel cable doesn't get fox news.....

    Plenty of CNN though....
  38. #25988
    Celcius... how dare they use the logical one.

    I have no idea what water boils at in F. It's in the 200's as best I know. It freezes at -32, I think. Why does Farenheit exist?
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  39. #25989
    I did some digging to see what the point of it is.

    Turns out water freezes at +32, not -32. And it boils at 212. That's a difference of 180... which makes it useful for using with circles and triangles or something.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  40. #25990
    Quote Originally Posted by BananaStand View Post
    the hotel cable doesn't get fox news.....

    Plenty of CNN though....
    Haha, having a good trip?

    Here's a reminder of what you're missing.

    tucker confused.jpg

    "wait wait wait wait wait, that can't POSSIBLY be true. Tariffs are great for trade."

    tucker confused.jpg

    "Are you saying the President is WRONG about something?"

    tucker confused.jpg

    "How can universal health care be a GOOD idea? That's COMMUNISM!"

    tucker laughing.jpg

    "Are you CRAZY???? I mean, are you.... a librul?"
  41. #25991
    Quote Originally Posted by Poopadoop View Post
    Haha, having a good trip?
    THERE IS NO AIR HERE
  42. #25992
    Quote Originally Posted by BananaStand View Post
    THERE IS NO AIR HERE
    Where are you, Motel 6?
  43. #25993
    No, I'm at a Best Western....which isn't much better.

    And it's not the hotel. It's outside too. There is just no air.

    no wind, no circulation nothing. Breathing is hard...like if it were humid out. But it's not humid. And everything here smells like BO. It's like I'm breathing through a used shirt all the time.
  44. #25994
    Quote Originally Posted by BananaStand View Post
    No, I'm at a Best Western....which isn't much better.

    And it's not the hotel. It's outside too. There is just no air.

    no wind, no circulation nothing. Breathing is hard...like if it were humid out. But it's not humid. And everything here smells like BO. It's like I'm breathing through a used shirt all the time.
    Best Western sucks. I thought you were director of finance or some shit. Find some creative way to pay for a better room.

    Smell? What? Is your hotel next to a foundry or something?

    Oh wait, I know what it is. Take a shower.
  45. #25995
    Quote Originally Posted by Poopadoop View Post
    Best Western sucks. I thought you were director of finance or some shit.
    We got bought by some massive Canadian conglomerate a while back. Now the whole finance department is invited up to cucktown to meet the new family.

    First impressions: The new family is cheap as fuck!!

    When I travel by myself.....shit is much better.
  46. #25996
    Quote Originally Posted by BananaStand View Post
    We got bought by some massive Canadian conglomerate a while back.
    Don't worry Trump will get it back for you.


    Quote Originally Posted by BananaStand View Post
    Now the whole finance department is invited up to cucktown to meet the new family.

    First impressions: The new family is cheap as fuck!!
    Maybe that's how they saved enough money to buy your wasteful American asses.
  47. #25997
    Quote Originally Posted by Poopadoop View Post
    Maybe that's how they saved enough money to buy your wasteful American asses.
    Actually, they kinda got lucky. My company is phenomenally profitable. whoever is keeping the books must really have his shit together. He's probably pretty handsome too. But I digress...

    Anyway, the company was making tons of money, but obviously doesn't have the cash flow to buy out the sole owner all at once. So he sold the company so he could get his millions, plus a premium for the future cash flow, and now he's floating on a yacht somewhere off the coast of Naples.
  48. #25998
    Quote Originally Posted by BananaStand View Post

    Anyway, the company was making tons of money, but obviously doesn't have the cash flow to buy out the sole owner all at once. So he sold the company so he could get his millions, plus a premium for the future cash flow, and now he's floating on a yacht somewhere off the coast of Naples.
    tucker confused.jpg

    That makes absolutely no sense at all. "The company couldn't buy out the sole owner, so he sold it."

    So he couldn't buy out himself, the sole owner?
  49. #25999
    Quote Originally Posted by Poopadoop View Post
    tucker confused.jpg

    That makes absolutely no sense at all. "The company couldn't buy out the sole owner, so he sold it."

    So he couldn't buy out himself, the sole owner?
    Do you know how finance works at all???

    Assets = Liabilities + Equity

    If someone wants all of their equity....in cash...right now....then what needs to happen?
  50. #26000
    Quote Originally Posted by BananaStand View Post
    Do you know how finance works at all???

    Assets = Liabilities + Equity

    If someone wants all of their equity....in cash....what needs to happen?
    Apparently they buy themselves out.

    Thanks, didn't know that.
  51. #26001
    Quote Originally Posted by Poopadoop View Post
    Apparently they buy themselves out.

    Thanks, didn't know that.
    huh? He didn't buy himself out.

    Imagine you start Poop Industries. you use your own savings as a capital investment in your new company. So you deposit $100,000 cash into an account in the name of Poop Industries.

    Assets are now up, +100,000. The accounting equation must remain balanced. Assets = Liabilities + Equity. Since this is a capital investment...you increase Equity. you could also loan the money to the company, and expect the company to pay you back, which would require an increase to liabilities, rather than equity.

    Now let's say you buy $50,000 worth of capital equipment. In my company's case we need tractors, and carts, and belt loaders, and cargo handling machines, etc etc etc. But at Poop Industries, maybe you just spend that money on vasoline and tiny condoms. i dont really know and it's not important.

    So now, Assets are -$50,000
    But you got equipment, so Assets are +$50,000

    The accounting equation remains balanced....you just traded liquid assets (cash) for capital assets (gas powered dildos, goat speculums, or whatever creepy shit you're into)

    Now let's say you actually operate and generate revenue. Revenue means we increase assets (cash), and increase equity. But that wasn't free. You had to pay your employees and cover your operating expenses. So you decrease cash to pay for those expenses, and you decrease equity to keep the accounting equation balanced. The difference between those two changes in equity...is your profit. let's say it's $5k

    So now your company has $55K in liquid assets...$50K in non-liquid assets. And $105K in Equity.

    now lets say you want to retire. Your original savings, and the fruits of your labor are worth $105K.

    your company only has $55K in cash. Where is it gonna get the rest of the money to buy you out?
    Last edited by BananaStand; 09-18-2018 at 09:58 PM.
  52. #26002
    Quote Originally Posted by BananaStand View Post

    the company was making tons of money, but obviously doesn't have the cash flow to buy out the sole owner all at once. So he sold the company

    tucker confused.jpg



    Quote Originally Posted by BananaStand View Post
    tucker laughing.jpg
  53. #26003
    so, math tilts you huh?

    What's that like?
  54. #26004
    Can we agree that posting the same meme over and over again is the same as calling someone a cuck faggot over and over again?
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  55. #26005
    Quote Originally Posted by OngBonga View Post
    Can we agree that posting the same meme over and over again is the same as calling someone a cuck faggot over and over again?
    So there's nothing wrong with doing it then?

    Sure, works for me.
  56. #26006
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  57. #26007
  58. #26008
    Shouldn't that smirking dude be your av instead of that doggle?
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  59. #26009
    In case you're unfamiliar with the word doggle, it's a cute dog. You woulnd't call an Alsatian a doggle, that's just a dog. Or a cunt. Or a shitting kangaroo.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  60. #26010
    On another note, I hate people who use the phrase "au contaire" instead of "on the contrary", yet people who write "on route" instead of "en route" are illiterate fuckwits.

    I think there's something wrong with me.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  61. #26011
    Quote Originally Posted by OngBonga View Post
    On another note, I hate people who use the phrase "au contaire" instead of "on the contrary", yet people who write "on route" instead of "en route" are illiterate fuckwits.

    I think there's something wrong with me.
    theres not something wrong with you. I hate people who use cliches at all. Im not sure why you would discriminate against jjst those two.

    cliches show a lack of creativity and intelligence. Perfectly reasonable basis for hatred
  62. #26012
    Quote Originally Posted by BananaStand View Post
    no-one is holding your feet to the fire
    Quote Originally Posted by BananaStand View Post
    I'm not gonna walk on eggshells
    Quote Originally Posted by BananaStand View Post
    fourth, MAGA
    Quote Originally Posted by BananaStand View Post
    I hate people who use cliches at all.
    cliches show a lack of creativity and intelligence.
    gg
  63. #26013
    those are metaphors chucklehead
  64. #26014
    Quote Originally Posted by BananaStand View Post
    those are metaphors chucklehead
    Still at war with the dictionary I see.
  65. #26015
    MAGA is a cliche, the others are metaphors.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  66. #26016
    Quote Originally Posted by OngBonga View Post
    MAGA is a cliche, the others are metaphors.


    Try again.
  67. #26017
    Well, MAGA could be a metaphor if the phrase "Make America Great Again" wasn't meant to be taken literally, but I think it is meant to be taken literally. I think the people who use that phrase actually want America to be great again, rather than some other meaning.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  68. #26018
    MAGA is a slogan

    It hasnt been around long enough to be a cliche
  69. #26019
    Quote Originally Posted by Poopadoop View Post
    Try again.
    Ok none of them are cliches, since none of them have lost their effectiveness through overusage.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  70. #26020
    Quote Originally Posted by BananaStand View Post
    those are metaphors
    Quote Originally Posted by OngBonga View Post
    Ok none of them are metaphors.
    Better.
  71. #26021
    The best you could say is that they're idioms (or sayings). But you could also argue all four of them are cliches. They're all certainly lacking in originality. MAGA was ripped off of Reagan for example.
    Last edited by Poopadoop; 09-19-2018 at 01:03 PM.
  72. #26022
    MadMojoMonkey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    9,659
    Location
    St Louis, MO
    lol.

    It's a metaphor!
    No, it's a cliche'!
    No, a slogan!

    This should be in an episode of Always Sunny.
  73. #26023
    Quote Originally Posted by MadMojoMonkey View Post
    This should be in an episode of Always Sunny.
    which character would you be?
  74. #26024
    MadMojoMonkey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    9,659
    Location
    St Louis, MO
    IDK. I'm not a part of the argument, so whatever character was playing the "straight man" in that scene.

    Note: by straight man I mean the comedy trope in which other characters are acting absurd, but within the context of the story, absurdity could be the norm. The purpose of the straight man is to show the audience that the scene is, in fact, absurd.
  75. #26025
    Quote Originally Posted by Poopadoop View Post
    The best you could say is that they're idioms (or sayings). But you could also argue all four of them are cliches. They're all certainly lacking in originality. MAGA was ripped off of Reagan for example.
    You coudl argue all four of them are cliches if you're not using the correct definition of cliche...

    But I'll grant you idiom over metaphor.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •