Randomness thread, part two.

[MadMojoMonkey]

Found this in the Darkest Dungeon reddit. It cracked me up.



Stupid image wont embed.

EDIT: fine. Here's a link to the reddit post which contains the image.

https://www.reddit.com/r/darkestdung..._heir_is_hard/

Hey gmml... what's up with this?

[oskar]

Won't link either. I've been eyeing that game every sale so far. The 25h playtime is holding me back.

[MadMojoMonkey]

Won't link either. I've been eyeing that game every sale so far. The 25h playtime is holding me back.

25h? What? If you have already played the game and you know all the million things to learn about it to be good at it, then maybe you could complete it in 25h. No way on first playthrough. The learning curve isn't exactly steep, but it sure is high.

I changed the link.
Help me, gmml. You're my only hope.

EDIT: I picked it up during the Steam Summer sale for cheap with all the DLC's. It's more a game of extreme saltiness than unbridled fun, but it's addictive as hell.

[wufwugy]

I tried calling a UK company today for work. Didn't go through. Y'all sallys need to fix ur amateur shit

[OngBonga]

You made that post at 3.29am UK time. Try again in a couple of hours, shit doesn't usually open until at least 9am.

[Savy]

I'm looking forward to these thunder storms the weather has gone back to being unbearable after a few days of hot but nice. I keep getting tempted to invest in an AC of some sort.

[Savy]

You made that post at 3.29am UK time. Try again in a couple of hours, shit doesn't usually open until at least 9am.

I doubt he's posting from work or working at 10pm ET but this is definitely what happened but he rang at like 2pm there time.

[Poopadoop]

8 hours diff between pacific and UK time, Wuffy.

[OngBonga]

I'm looking forward to these thunder storms the weather has gone back to being unbearable after a few days of hot but nice. I keep getting tempted to invest in an AC of some sort.

Every single fucking person in this country.

Winter - freezing, wet, windy... fuck off winter, hurry up summer
Spring - cold, wet, windy... fuck off spring, hurry up summer
Summer - hot, dry, sunny... fuck off summer, hurry up autumn
Autumn - warm, dry, lovely... aw, summer is over

[Savy]

Every single fucking person in this country.

Winter - freezing, wet, windy... fuck off winter, hurry up summer
Spring - cold, wet, windy... fuck off spring, hurry up summer
Summer - hot, dry, sunny... fuck off summer, hurry up autumn
Autumn - warm, dry, lovely... aw, summer is over

Not me, all are fine except snow and this heat.

[MadMojoMonkey]

Summer in StL has a couple of weeks that are miserable. Temperatures over 100 degrees F and humidity can spike to 60%+ even when there's no cloud in the sky.
It feels like you're walking through hot soup.

Thankfully we're past that for this summer. I'm sure we'll get another heat wave, but it's pretty late in the year to see temps over 100 at this point.

[Savy]

Summer in StL has a couple of weeks that are miserable. Temperatures over 100 degrees F and humidity can spike to 60%+ even when there's no cloud in the sky.
It feels like you're walking through hot soup.

Thankfully we're past that for this summer. I'm sure we'll get another heat wave, but it's pretty late in the year to see temps over 100 at this point.

Ye but you have AC.

[OngBonga]

Not me, all are fine except snow and this heat.

That's the opposite to me. That snow we had late winter was awesome, and this heat is awesome. Fuck everyone who moans about it. I hope you're getting a fuck ton of lightning and crying about that too.

[OngBonga]

I'm sure we'll get another heat wave, but it's pretty late in the year to see temps over 100 at this point.

We've had 100+ once. We've been close this last two days, but not quite there.

[wufwugy]

I see all the blowsy cunts got their jammies up in the Queen's Wellington. The numbers the UK company listed as valid were not. In barmy speak, the tippy tappy beep beep machine couldn't w0t mate

[BananaStand]

So my personal email address is myfirstname.mylastname@gmail.com

I don't have a super common first and last name, but there are a fair number of people who share the same name as I do.

Some of those people have created email addresses that are very close to mine.

Either google is fucking up, or people are mistyping the email address because I sometimes get emails meant for a different person with my name.

Obviously when this happens, I like to fuck with them

one time I got a message confirming my tennis court reservations.
I replied "tennis is for pussies"
They replied "Should we cancel your reservation"
I replied "do you think I'm a pussy?"

Then, yesterday I got this one...

It was a group email among some guys planning a golf outing. It was already 3 or 4 messages deep when I got it. There was one message of a guy moaning about how he rarely plays and his game really sucks. That was followed by this message, which is when I was accidentally copied into the discussion.

I am in, so far Sept. is wide open. I can identify with [name redacted] re state of my golf game, therefore I will need “mega” strokes , let the negotiations begin

So I negotiated

10 free strokes to whoever brings a naked picture of his wife

Then one of these dorks responds to me privately with this:

Not sure that is politically correct nor would our wives appreciate the gesture!!!

I'm looking for suggestions to further troll this cuck pussy.

[OngBonga]

Tell him at least one wife does appreciate the gesture.

[BananaStand]

If you're either literate, or not deaf, and you've spent any time consuming any national news source at all, then how the fuck can you justify eating at Chipotle.

How many times has this happened??

https://money.cnn.com/2018/07/31/new...ock/index.html

[Savy]

If you're either literate, or not deaf, and you've spent any time consuming any national news source at all, then how the fuck can you justify eating at Chipotle.

How many times has this happened??

https://money.cnn.com/2018/07/31/new...ock/index.html

Enough that it's still such a rare thing to happen it's basically negligible. Especially when you factor in how much you'd win from a lawsuit.

[BananaStand]

Enough that it's still such a rare thing to happen it's basically negligible.

Is it really that rare?

I feel like this happens at Chipotle alot.

[Savy]

Is it really that rare?

I feel like this happens at Chipotle alot.

If we assume that Chipotle are cutting every corner and putting you at as high a risk as possible that they can (and I suffer from a stomach issue that puts me at higher risk from food poisoning) if we put the issues that have come out compared to the millions of meals that they serve it's incredibly minor. If there was lots of competition in a place and the food was comparable (chipotle is meh) then I'd eat somewhere else, if I liked the food I'd probably pick there over a lot of other places.

It's probably similar to you thinking someone wants to rape your fat ugly kid. Probably not.

[BananaStand]

if we put the issues that have come out compared to the millions of meals that they serve it's incredibly minor.

There are far more restaurants, serving far more meals, with far fewer "issues"

[Savy]

There are far more restaurants, serving far more meals, with far fewer "issues"

Not if you like the food more. If I had to drive 5 more minutes to get something that wasn't chipotle but was similar on my enjoyment I'd never travel further as a result of this.

[BananaStand]

Not if you like the food more. If I had to drive 5 more minutes to get something that wasn't chipotle but was similar on my enjoyment I'd never travel further as a result of this.

So you're saying that botulism is an acceptable risk to avoid driving 5 fewer minutes.

Chipotle exists as a side effect of laziness.

It's like you're saying "Yes, I know this food is pure, literal, garbage. But I'm too lazy to go anywhere else"

Chipotle's survival depends on maintaining optimal goegraphic proximity to all of it's customers

How are they still in business??????

[Savy]

So you're saying that botulism is fun?

I'm saying you're a cuck.

[BananaStand]

I'm saying you're a cuck.

You could credibly call me a lot of things. But not this...

[Savy]

You could credibly call me a lot of things. But not this...

ok racist.

How much child support are you paying every month?

[BananaStand]

ok racist.

I hope you get eyeball herpes, cuck.

How much child support are you paying every month?

Define child support?

There is no court mandate requiring me to pay anything other than some vague language in the parenting plan requiring me to pay half of childcare costs. Practically, the way that works is my ex wife pays for day care, and summer camp, and ballet lessons, and all that shit so she can score points on her credit card. Then at the end of the month I send her a check for half.

I could quit my job, and keep the kids home with me during the summer and after school and not have to pay anything. My contributions to dance, karate, cheer, and other activities is completely voluntary.

What's your point?

[Savy]

I hope you get eyeball herpes, cuck.


Define child support?

There is no court mandate requiring me to pay anything other than some vague language in the parenting plan requiring me to pay half of childcare costs. Practically, the way that works is my ex wife pays for day care, and summer camp, and ballet lessons, and all that shit so she can score points on her credit card. Then at the end of the month I send her a check for half.

I could quit my job, and keep the kids home with me during the summer and after school and not have to pay anything. My contributions to dance, karate, cheer, and other activities is completely voluntary.

What's your point?

Seriously though is she sucking dick on your dime? That'd annoy me. Kids probably take prefernce though, I get that.

[BananaStand]

Seriously though is she sucking dick on your dime? That'd annoy me.

I don't get what that means.

Pretty sure the answer is no. I pay her $0.

The money I do give her, passes right through her, on to some vendor providing services directly for the children.

So afterschool care, summer camp, activities etc comes to about $2K per month. Each month I send her a check for $1K.

Each of us has the kids exactly 50% of the time, we each make roughly the same money (even though she has a PhD, heh heh heh). So there is no child support or alimony arrangement at all.

I went through my divorce without a lawyer. She bought out half my equity in the house, and we made the above financial arrangement regarding child care expenses. Never actually had to go inside a court room. Easy game.

[Savy]

I don't get what that means.

Pretty sure the answer is no. I pay her $0.

The money I do give her, passes right through her, on to some vendor providing services directly for the children.

So afterschool care, summer camp, activities etc comes to about $2K per month. Each month I send her a check for $1K.

Each of us has the kids exactly 50% of the time, we each make roughly the same money (even though she has a PhD, heh heh heh). So there is no child support or alimony arrangement at all.

I went through my divorce without a lawyer. She bought out half my equity in the house, and we made the above financial arrangement regarding child care expenses. Never actually had to go inside a court room. Easy game.

Nudes?

[BananaStand]

Nudes?

Before or after I pumped three babies through her?

[Savy]

Before or after I pumped three babies through her?

Progress pictures seem to get the most traction?

I do definitely find pregnant girls get hotter as they get more pregnant before dropping off massively.

I'm genuinely thinking about getting the pipelines cut off, at 25 (nearly 26 ) does seem a little early. Seems a better decision the closer I get to owning a house. Hopefully years of a laptop on my balls will sort that out for me.

[OngBonga]

It's probably similar to you thinking someone wants to rape your fat ugly kid. Probably not.

I think we have a contender here for analogy of the week.

[Jack Sawyer]

Is it really that rare?

I feel like this happens at Chipotle alot.

You've made a point previously about news being more present than ever before which augments the mentions of stuff like this, amirite?

[BananaStand]

You've made a point previously about news being more present than ever before which augments the mentions of stuff like this, amirite?

No, yanotrite

The phenomenon of more prevalent news coverage would affect all nationwide-chain restaurants equally, no?

Check the salmonella scoreboard over the last half decade.

Now tell me how you can eat at Chipotle

[MadMojoMonkey]

I hope you get eyeball herpes, cuck.

This is approaching* a Shakespearean level of insult that I can get behind.

*It's not there yet, but a step in a fine direction, IMO.

Seriously though is she sucking dick on your dime?

Damn, dude. That's pretty aggressive and out-of-nowhere in this conversation.
Don't be a douche.

[BananaStand]

http://www.foxnews.com/world/2018/08...n-defense.html

This is what happens when you get rid of all the guns.

[oskar]

Zero casualties. Sounds about right.

[oskar]

I've seen so many people ruin their chances of ever becoming proficient at an instrument simply by making retarded choices like picking bassoon or clarinet as their first instrument. So here's some unsolicited advice:

For a first instrument, as a child or adult, you have two choices: electric* guitar or piano. Unless you have a very competent teacher, I'd narrow it down to guitar. Music is about acquiring vocabulary and applying it. Guitar is perfect for this because the shape of a chord or melody is independent from the key you're playing in. If you learn how to play any melody or chord, you can immediately apply that melody or chord to any key by just moving your hand to a different fret. With enough practice this will eventually come natural on any instrument, but for many people it's like hitting a brick wall that they will never overcome and they get stuck at simply reading sheet music or playing by numbers, and that's like learning a language to read but never to speak.

Electric guitar is far superior as a beginner instrument to acoustic because it's easier to play, easier to maintain, can be played at any volume, anywhere, is near impossible to destroy and $300 buys you an instrument you can get away with playing at a professional gig.

[BananaStand]

UTG raises to $11. Skanky cunt calls. Another idiot calls. Hero on the button calls with 65s. 4 ways to a flop of 467r. Pre-flop raiser bets $40. Skanky cunt calls for $38 and is all in. Other idiot folds. Hero shoves. PFR folds. Turn 8, River 3. Skank shows QQ.

Then this truckstop cumrag loses her mind. She starts making comments about "bad poker". "how stupid do you have to be to raise 65 preflop?" [Cunt cant' even remember the action].

This goes on for about a minute. The guy next to me is a dealer at another casino where I play about 90% of the time. He starts trying to calm her down. "He can play his money any way he wants".

She doesn't stop

Several players are the table are starting to egg her on, nodding and laughing.

The word "retarded" gets dropped.

The guy next to me repeats himself.

She keeps rambling. Now looking and talking directly to me "you should get a tattoo of Five-six and the word 'idiot'"

I responded "you should get a tattoo that says 'loudmouth cunt'"

then they made me leave

I really don't know a better way to play this situation. I feel really good about my action. Yet somehow, I'm the bad guy.

Fuckin' equality or something.

[BananaStand]

Seriously, I need someone to explain this to me. How could I have handled this situation differently?

Letting her continue to shit on me is unacceptable.

Challenging her poker analysis would likely escalate things into a stupid pointless pissing contest.

Verbally abusing her using different epithets would likely escalate things into a stupid pointless pissing contest.

You might think I simply lost control, snapped, and produced an uncontrolled outburst of rage that could be mitigated with anger management therapy or something like that.

But it wasn't. I thought very carefully before I opened my mouth. I chose that word, on purpose. I made a calculated decision that it was the only utterance that would serve this purpose. I felt like if I was going to be successful ending this nonsense, then I had to do it with one finishing blow. And thus, I dropped the c-bomb.

The immediate flourish of "whoa" from the table, and all eyes turning to her as she shrinks silently in her chair, were the exact result I wanted. She had nothing more to say about the hand. As she sat there stunned, I shot across the table "You did it once to be funny, now you can shut that wood chopping accident that you call a mouth!"

To me, that's a very satisfactory outcome. She shut right up at that point. Not another word from her. She looked embarrassed, and defeated. She obviously realized she was out of line. And I think it's safe to say that her and I will likely have no further verbal interaction ever again, even though we do play together with some regularity. That's the optimal outcome.

No continuing fued. No war. No rehashed bullshit the next time we sit at the table. No ongoing pissing contest of insults. Just quiet avoidance. Forever.

That is the optimal outcome. And I don't see any other word I could have used that would achieve that outcome.

Yet, rather than realize that, the idiot dealer (who should have done something about this 30 seconds after it started) decided he can't just let it go after I ended things. This cuck pussy decides he has to be chivalrous and says "nope, you can't say that to a woman, you gotta go".

[OngBonga]

This cuck pussy decides he has to be chivalrous and says "nope, you can't say that to a woman, you gotta go".

Equality, yo. And this is EXACTLY what happened. It's one rule for her and another for you. That said, you can handle this differently. Sit there and give zero fucks while continuing to play your game. If she's sat there being a cunt, and you're sat there giving no fucks, it's pretty obvious to everyone who's coming out on top.

It's amusing that she feels the need to coach you, but you didn't feel the need to point out that she should be 3betting her hand pre flop. Of course, that's because you WANT her to make mistakes. Weirdly, she doesn't seem to want you to make what she considers a mistake.

Honestly, I would seek legal advice on the matter. There might be a case for sexual discrimination.

[MadMojoMonkey]

Honestly, I would seek legal advice on the matter. There might be a case for sexual discrimination.

I doubt it. The word cunt is almost exclusively intended to be derogatory toward women but not used to be derogatory toward men.

I mean, he could have literally called her a dozen other insults, but he went with one that is more gender-based than all the others. We don't know what would have happened if he chose a different word, but I suspect it was the c-bomb that got everyone else to team up.

If it goes to trial, the casino's lawyers are probably going to argue that she was criticizing his choices, but that he made a personal attack. That personal attack was based on something she could not choose, and is therefore bigotry. Their policy is to stand firm against bigotry. The gallery applauds, and Mr. Stand looks like a misogynist, and no one cares that she was completely out of line and the casino let that go too far in the first place.

[Poopadoop]

Honestly, I would seek legal advice on the matter. There might be a case for sexual discrimination.

Honestly, I'm sure the courts would be really sympathetic to anyone who gets thrown out of a poker room for calling a woman a cunt. He should take it straight to the ACLU, no doubt. He'll make so much money he'll never have to sit in a dingy casino with other miserable twats again.

I can just imagine the judge's face when this case is brought before him. "Flabbergasted" would be an understatement.

[Savy]

So instead of being in a poker game with a bad player who was clearly tilting you got kicked out of the poker game. Sounds slightly less optimal to me.

[BananaStand]

So this really isn't a complaint about different rules or double standards. And I really don't want to go out on the sexism/misogyny tangent.

Here's why I bring this up...I'll try to be brief. [EDIT: Sorry I wasn't]

My ex wife is a cunt. I mean, she's a real disgusting, stretched out, busted ravioli with a yeast infection. That being said, I don't care. She has to live with herself now, I don't. I'm only concerned with her behavior to the degree that it affects the children. They're young and can't speak for themselves.

My oldest can't say to my ex-wife: "Mom, it's not ok for me to be tardy 18 times in one school quarter. This is the fifth year in a row the school has sent you a letter about this. Get your fucking act together in the morning"

My middle daughter can't say: "Mom, my cheer leading team performs at the football games. I can't miss one because you're hungover"

My youngest can't say: "Mom, I go to an outdoor summer camp where I play outdoors in wooded areas and swim in lake water. I constantly apply bug spray and sunscreen all day long. I need to be bathed more than once a week"

I have to say those things. And many many many many many many many many others. Now this cunt is a weak, spineless snowflake and absolutely hates criticism. So she ignores these things. And then I'll repeat them a little more emphatically. Then she dodges. Then I repeat. And she deflects. Then I repeat, and she denies.

Deny, dodge, deflect, deceive. That's her playbook. So then every conversation is a cross-examination. Eventually, through incremental increases of "minimum necessary force" these conversations escalate to the point where I express all of my anger and frustration and say something along the lines of "Knock off the fucking innocent act. Get your shit together and be a better mother.". At those times, I'm emphatic, forceful, foul-mouthed, and authoritative.

She hates that. She'd rather be stabbed in the taint than be criticized. It's why she had 3 ex's before age 40. I once joked with her lawyer "Your client has more rings than Belichick! Do you really think she's easy to get along with!!" Sadly, that's not really a joke. She will not admit fault, or apologize, ever. For anything. She will fight, and debate, and pull every bullshit argument from the bowels of her imagination to avoid losing a fight.

When you're married to a person, and have to live with them, you often 'ease-up' when your message is finally received. You don't push for total victory. You might make some concessions in the name of peace.

I no longer have that problem. So now when we have these arguments, there's no calming reconcilation. There's no "we're both sorry" moments. It's just her, and her failures. And me, calling them out and demanding that she address them.

Now I choose my words very carefully. She would have a point if I was going around, dropping c-bombs on her all the time, calling her names, and insulting her personally. Every criticism that I've made of her has been in direct response to one of her behaviors that had a direct negative result on the children. It just so happens that there were ALOT of those criticisms.

So rather than address her own baggage, this cunt hired a lawyer. Told the lawyer that I'm verbally abusive. Now there is some language in the divorce decree that says we can't go around shitting on each other and saying critical things. For example...this post is a major violation of that clause. So she felt like she had a legal case to enforce some consequences.

The lawyer sent me a letter stating the complaint. It gave examples of harsh things I've said. It threatened to take further action, etc etc etc.

I responded to the lawyer telling the WHOLE story.

Your complaint alleges that I've made statements like "failures too numerous to count". A judge might ask me what those failures are. Just so you aren't caught by surprise, here is what your client has done.....

Then that lawyer QUIT!!!

Can you imagine??!! She hired a lawyer saying "Please help me stop this abuse". Then the lawyer looked into it, and told her "You deserve the abuse, fuck off"

I made it very clear in my response that all of these problems would go away if she would just meet some minimum standard of parenting. She resented that, and things continued as they always have.

Eventually, she got a new lawyer and tried again. This time, they didn't send me a warning letter. They went directly to filing a restraining order. Now I don't know what you know about RO's. But you can just go to the police, and ask for one. They'll give it to you with almost no requirements at all. Then about a month later, you go to court and argue whether or not its legit.

Almost immediately after filing the RO, they followed up with an "offer". (Fucking games, right?). Basically they said I have to stay away from her house (I've never gone there uninvited), and I can't say mean things to her anymore. Then they figured that while they have me over a barrell, they'd try and get me to agree to let my ex wife have full decision making rights over the children's mental health treatment.

My kids don't have mental health problems. She just thinks they would be easier to manage if they were on drugs.

Anyway, I told them to fuck off. "see you in court". I knew, and they knew, that the RO would fail. I've never threatened anyone. I'm not violent. It's a completely ridiculous measure whose only real intent is to bully me into an unfavorable agreement, for no reason.

So I stood my ground and told them to fuck off. Eventually, at the 11th hour, they decided to withdraw the RO (imagine that). And instead they decided to file some kind of motion of violation of divorce agreement blah blah blah. What followed was a year and a half of hell.

Shortly after that, I convinced them to drop the motion as well. They realized that their position was just untenable. And they gave up. But not without warnings to "be nice". Then some months later she fucked up again. This time regarding some dental work my middle daughter needed. My kid had some fear of the dentist and my ex wife decided that wasn't something she wanted to contend with. She just decided to let the kid get the tooth pulled under anesthesia.

That costs shitloads of $$ because we don't live in some socialist cuck-paradise. I insisted that we work with the kid to face her fear, and let this be a lesson learned about brushing your damn teeth. In any event, I'm not paying half of an $8K bill to pull a baby tooth just because the kid is nervous around needles. My exact statement to my ex was...

"You can't be this ineffective"

^That's it. That's the verbal abuse that set the whole world off. They re-filed their motion with two years of my greatest quotes. This time they wanted ALL medical decision making rights. They wanted me to reimburse $30K in legal fees. They wanted me to go to couples therapy with her. And "any other measures the court deems necessary"

All because I called her ineffective parenting "ineffective".

So once again, I walked the lawyer through her client's failings. Explained WHY I said the things I said. I explained, and illustrated with documented texts the ENTIRETY of these conversations that doesn't paint my ex in a very good light.

Then suddenly....they dont' want to go to court. But after dropping the RO, and dropping this motion once already....they can't do it a third time without looking like total fools who are just out to harass me. So they're in kind of a bad spot. They can't give up. But if they go forward, they probably won't win. They might, but they probably won't.

That put me in kind of a bad spot. They won't drop this, so I have to go before a judge and explain why it's totally justified and reasonable to continually call my ex wife a bad mother, lazy, useless, and ineffective.

She's got a lawyer. I don't. She's a woman. I'm a man. She can cite her PhD as a reason why she should have sole responsibility for the kids' psychological care. I can only cite anecdotes of her idiocy.

So my chances of losing are low, but they aren't zero. And the stakes are high. If she's allowed to put these kids on pills, they're done. They might as well just get lobotomized now. I dont' want to lose medical rights regarding my kids. I don't want to risk having to pay her $30K. I don't want her feeling empowered, justified, or righteous here. She really is a fucking cunt to these kids.

So after a year and a half of hell, I finally negotiated the best possible settlement I could. No money. I retain all parental rights. No adjustments to the parenting plan. No adjustments to the divorce decree. No admission of guilt. No acceptance of fault. No apologies required. No battles in court. All I have to do is go to 8 sessions of anger-management therapy and she agreed to drop this.

Because in her mind, if my utterances are just the rantings of an unhinged maniac, she doesn't have to contend with what I'm actually saying. And in order for her to be able to label me as such, there has to be some kind of "punishment".

That's how she works. She has to win something. After all this, she thinks she's victorious. Even though the last thing I said to her during mediation was "Yes I said these things, and I realize how some of them might have been tactical errors, but the sentiment was sincere"

Her parenting has DRAMATICALLY improved. Literally night and day. So I feel quite victorious.

But tomorrow, I go for my first anger-management therapy session. And I have no fucking idea what to do. In this situation with my ex wife, I feel like I did everything a reasonable person could do before escalating. I feel like I used incremental amounts of minimal-necessary-force until I got the result I needed. I feel like I actually did get results from her. Being nice didn't work. Being tough does. Why be nice?

I feel like my anger was managed entirely appropriately. I used as much restraint as possible. The words I used were apt, and appropriate. And I always acted in the best interest of my children. I never engaged in any kind of petty personal issue. The kids need to get to school on time. They need showers. They need food packed in their lunchboxes that doesn't have mold on it. These really shouldn't be things I have to say at all. Yet I did say them, and got no response. When I was a bully, shit got done.

Same thing with this poker skank. I did nothing to provoke her. She was asked nicely to stop, twice. She should know better anyway. I can't allow her to continue. I can't respond in kind. That will escalate the problem to worse levels. I want her behavior to stop, immediately, and I shouldn't have to work very hard to make that happen. She's already shown that she doesn't respect civil requests. She's already shown that she's not going to respect any lines of decorum. So what options are left? Just a finishing blow.

So I'm truly asking the group. Does this sound like someone who needs anger-management? Does this sound like someone who needs therapy to control his anger? Because I feel pretty strongly that I showed incredibly proficient control over my emotions. I chose my words carefully. I knew exactly what my goal was, and chose the minimum necessary force to achieve that goal.

Now I realize why I got thrown out of the place. They have 250 poker players in a room, I don't blame them for having a zero tolerance policy. And I have no problem taking a night off if it gets my point across. When I got thrown out, I didn't argue. Didn't make a scene. Didn't say another word. I just racked up, cashed out, and left. I'm not here complaining about how I was treated by anyone other than this skank.

I guess my question is...what do I say to this therapist tomorrow? I feel like I can be uncivil to people in a way that is controlled, appropriate, and completely apt for the situation. I feel like I do this to minimize conflict by ending it immediately. I feel like I do this with the best intentions, and often I get the result I desire. Almost no one who knows me would describe me as an angry person. The only people who think of me like that are people who either A) Abused my children or B) Made unprovoked, unnecessary or inappropriate insults toward me and refused civil requests to stop. So really it's just three people. My ex wife, this poker skank, and Oskar.

TL/DR: I'm a nice guy until being a nice guy doesn't work anymore. Then I'm a bully. That works. Why be nice?

[BananaStand]

So instead of being in a poker game with a bad player who was clearly tilting you got kicked out of the poker game. Sounds slightly less optimal to me.

This is the biggest myth in poker. I've heard so many people say "be nice to the fish or they won't play with you anymore"

i've never ever heard anyone say "I dont' play poker anymore because some guy was mean to me". It's always the opposite "That guy was mean to me, I'm gonna play every hand and try to bust him"

Being kicked out of this game was nothing to me. There are 4 "casinos" (I use the term loosely) running 1/2 no limit games with 45 minutes of my house. I had to pass one on my way home from this place. I stopped there and played the rest of the night. So instead of playing the five hours or so that I intended to play, I played for three hours, drive half way home, played two hours some where else, then drove the rest of the way home. Some consequence.

FYI - I wasn't banned or blacklisted. I was just told to "take the night off".

And as far as "bad player clearly tilting". So what? They're ALL bad players as far as I'm concerned. Slight de-rail...it's become clear over the last two years or so that I'm fucking awesome at live low-stakes NL. I've been crushing it over a pretty good sample size. I really don't have to do much "bum-hunting" to find profitable spots.

Besides, I dont' care how fishy a person is. I don't care how bad they play, or what kind of horrible poker decision they might make. I'll take a random player off the wait list before I play with a moron who is only buying in for 30BB's at a time. No one is really a fish at that stack depth....it's all about who gets dealt the best cards. Though in this instance...the skank managed to fuck that up too, lol.

[BananaStand]

I doubt it. The word cunt is almost exclusively intended to be derogatory toward women but not used to be derogatory toward men.

I've called men cunts. And this sounds pretty ethnocentric MMM. The British and Aussies say "cunt" all the friggen time without it being specifically directed towards women.

Have you ever called a man a prick? A dick? Are these not derogatory terms intended almost exclusively toward men? If this were a man antagonizing me, and I called him a dick, would the reaction be the same?

I mean, he could have literally called her a dozen other insults, but he went with one that is more gender-based than all the others.

I chose the word I felt would be most effective. I wanted a word that would land hard and immediately stop her in her tracks. If you think there is another word that would achieve that goal, I'm open to it.

Sure I could have used more temperate insults. But would that be likely to solve the problem? Or escalate it? I could have been even more scathing, without using the word cunt. This bitch looks like she's had a rough life, I'm sure it wouldn't' be hard to tear off a few scabs and make her cry. Would that have been better? All I wanted was a ceasefire, should I really push for vengeance and retaliation?

[BananaStand]

Playing at my regular casino tonight. Just got back from an herb break. I walk in and who do I see......

I sit down and notice the seat to my left has vacated during my absence.

Guess whos first on the list....

This dumb bitch must have looked at me ten times and not noticed a thing. Not until she puts her $60 buy on the table does she realize whats going on.

She immediately goes back to the counter, presumably to tell her sad tale of woe.

then they mover her and her 60 dollar buy in to the next table and seat a full stacked whale in the seat next to me.

#cuntismyfavoriteword

[OngBonga]

I doubt it. The word cunt is almost exclusively intended to be derogatory toward women but not used to be derogatory toward men.

That is definitely not how the word cunt works here in England. It's derogatory to anyone it is directed at.

I mean, he could have literally called her a dozen other insults, but he went with one that is more gender-based than all the others.

Is it gender based? Really? Just because it refers to female genetalia, doesn't mean it's a women-only insult. Just like a person of any gender can be a dick. Or a cock. Or a pussy. Or any other insult that is also used to describe gender-exclusive body parts.

She called him a retard. At that point, the gloves are off. You cannot call someone a retard, and then claim to be offended when they call you a cunt. And yes, she chose to be a cunt. To be a cunt is not necessarily to have a cunt.

There was no bigotry.

[OngBonga]

Honestly, I'm sure the courts would be really sympathetic to anyone who gets thrown out of a poker room for calling a woman a cunt. He should take it straight to the ACLU, no doubt. He'll make so much money he'll never have to sit in a dingy casino with other miserable twats again.

I can just imagine the judge's face when this case is brought before him. "Flabbergasted" would be an understatement.

It's not about sympathy. It's about gender equality. She called him a retard. He called her a cunt. Both should be seen as unacceptable, and both should be given the same punishment. That they weren't shows the casino are willing to allow women to insult men, but not men to insult women. This is sexual discrimination, sympathy or not.

[CoccoBill]

https://www.sciencealert.com/people-...n-intelligence

[OngBonga]

I'm not angry or short tempered when I smoke weed, so it must be making me smarter.

[Poopadoop]

It's not about sympathy. It's about gender equality. She called him a retard. He called her a cunt. Both should be seen as unacceptable, and both should be given the same punishment. That they weren't shows the casino are willing to allow women to insult men, but not men to insult women. This is sexual discrimination, sympathy or not.

I know you're just trolling here ("haha I fooled you into thinking I'm a retard again"), but 'sympathethic' in this context relates to the judge's tendency to see things in your favour, not about whether he feels sorry for your inability to control yourself.

The standard the law uses is what a 'reasonable' person would be expected to do. Basically, if you're such an asshat that you drop a c-bomb in public, but then try to make it a civil rights case when you get thrown out of a poker room for it, a judge would not be inclined to see things in your favour. It doesn't matter if you have a case or not for sexual discrimination, the context of your own behaviour makes the decision to throw you out perfectly reasonable, regardless of whether the guy said it was cause 'you can't call a woman that' or not. Thus, you suffered no harm you wouldn't have anyways suffered due to your own lack of social intelligence.

Basically, being a public asshat AND a petty litigator lowers the standard of expectation you get to have for how you get treated yourself.

[BananaStand]

Basically, being a public asshat AND a petty litigator lowers the standard of expectation you get to have for how you get treated yourself.

To be clear, I was only a public asshat. I have no qualms with the casino other than a simple disgust at the dealer being a feminized cuck

Not sure how the potential for this hypothetically going to court even got brought up.

My only point is that being an ass hat works. I don't know what recourse I would even seek in court. I already feel like results have been optimal.

[MadMojoMonkey]

https://www.sciencealert.com/people-...n-intelligence

The last 3 paragraphs of that basically say these results are for comedic value only until this is repeated on a larger scale, with different methods, and a much wider cross-section of people.

[OngBonga]

You're wrong poop. If I get caught smoking weed in public with some cute lady, and the cop decides to bust me but not the girl, then I have a rock solid case of sexual discrimination. I might still get busted for the weed, but I can also sue the police.

Banana hasn't got a hope of arguing that he didn't deserve to be kicked out. The casino have every right to tell him he is not welcome there again. But, and this is a very large but, banana might be able to sue the casino for treating him differently based on gender. Here in the UK, I'd be confident there's potentially a case to answer, and USA is the land of litigation.

I'm not arguing banana's actions were reasonable. I'm arguing that his actions are equally as unreasonable as the woman's, and the two should be treated equally. And I'm pretty sure the law agrees, at least they should not be treated differently based on gender.

[OngBonga]

The casino would have to argue that the word "retard" is acceptable and the word "cunt" is not. Do they really want to go down that road?

They will shit themselves if they get sued for a matter like this.

[OngBonga]

Not sure how the potential for this hypothetically going to court even got brought up.

I brought it up. Sue the fuckers. You're a poker player, right? It's +ev, unless you're gonna get banned from multiple casinos as a result. And why would they do that? They'd be happy to see a rival sued for it, they learn a valuable legal lesson without being the ones to pay for it.

[Poopadoop]

The casino would have to argue that the word "retard" is acceptable and the word "cunt" is not. Do they really want to go down that road?

Oh you want him to pursue this, really? So, who is going to be his witness to this event? Everyone in the casino who was shocked at his douchey behavior and thought he deserved to get kicked out? You think they're going to help him with his (your) stupid case?

And does he really want to go to court to argue about how the casino was wrong to treat him like an asshat, when it's clear even to himself that he was acting like an asshat?

Does he also want the humiliation of the judge telling him to quit wasting everyone's time about some trivial fucking thing like getting kicked out of a casino for being a douche?

This isn't Rosa Parks refusing to give up her seat on the bus. It's a doucheball getting kicked out of a casino 'cause he dropped a c-bomb.

[OngBonga]

I'd demand the cuck dealer gets fired, I get a written apology off the casino, and I get a tournament buyin, the value of which to be negotiated after legal advice.

[OngBonga]

Oh you want him to pursue this, really?

Haven't you leanred anything about me yet? I don't care if he pursues this or not. I expect he won't. I just want to talk bollocks, like I have been doing for yay many years.

[OngBonga]

It should be noted that had the dealer or the floorman done their job properly and warned the woman that her trash talking had ventured into the realm of unacceptable, this would not have escalated.

[Poopadoop]

Haven't you leanred anything about me yet? I don't care if he pursues this or not. I expect he won't. I just want to talk bollocks, like I have been doing for yay many years.

There's a line between talking bollocks and talking complete nonsense, and then sticking to your guns when it's called out as total nonsense. It's not even a fine line, it's quite a thick line.

[Poopadoop]

It should be noted that had the dealer or the floorman done their job properly and warned the woman that her trash talking had ventured into the realm of unacceptable, this would not have escalated.

It should also be noted that this is about as dumb a story as you can get. Guy acts like a dick, gets kicked out of a casino, then goes on a poker forum to tell his sob story.

[OngBonga]

It should also be noted that this is about as dumb a story as you can get. Guy acts like a dick, gets kicked out of a casino, then goes on a poker forum to tell his sob story.

I like how you shortened the story to disclude the bit where she is a dick.

The story is, she was a dick, he was a dick, he got kicked out, she didn't.

[Poopadoop]

His version of the story is, she was a dick, he was a dick, he got kicked out, she didn't.

fyp.

What he didn't mention is how long they'd been putting up with his general banana-ness before this happened.

It's interesting that everyone at the table seemed to enjoy him getting roasted by this woman. I wonder why that might have been?

I'll tell you one thing. If you act like a decent guy, most people don't get off on seeing you getting abused.

[BananaStand]

fyp.

What he didn't mention is how long they'd been putting up with his general banana-ness before this happened.

It's interesting that everyone at the table seemed to enjoy him getting roasted by this woman. I wonder why that might have been?

I'll tell you one thing. If you act like a decent guy, most people don't get off on seeing you getting abused.

My version of the story is exactly how it happened.

I'm not sure what you mean by banana-ness. If you mean "gave off an aura of brilliance and charisma", you might be right. But when I play poker, especially at a place I don't know, I generally rank pretty high on the stoicism-scale.

I hadn't said a word to anyone all night, and I was losing. There's 0 chance that anyone was offended by my presence before this incident.

There is literally nothing more to the story.

And I'm not posting this as a "sob story". I'm genuinely asking, could I have acted in a less-douchy way without sacrificing the optimal-ness of this outcome? In other words, would it have been better to use less pejorative insults in order to engage in a back and forth pissing contest with a truck-stop hooker? Would it have been better for my table image to sit there and get verbally abused by a human flesh-light?

Look, these are all 1/2 grinders who have spent the last 40 years playing what they think is "solid TAG" poker. But really they're all loose passive pre-flop, and weak-tight post flop. And they think that they're playing "correctly", they just can't win against these fish who play six-five and hit. I realize how that might destroy a person's psyche. I am no stranger to people making curious, puzzled, and sometimes insulting comments about my play. I'm happy to stack the chips and let them tilt.

But this cunt went on for several full minutes. I gave her ALOT of rope. At least one person at the table warned her twice to cool it.

And then she got WAY out of line.

What else should I have done?

[MadMojoMonkey]

I'm genuinely asking, could I have acted in a less-douchy way without sacrificing the optimal-ness of this outcome?

Gimme a break.

You have kids, right?
I don't imagine if one of your kids was in trouble at school for dropping the c-bomb on someone that you'd just pat them on the back and say, "nice one. That was definitely the most optimal way to handle that situation." I'm certain you're not going to go up to their school and convince the principal that your child was in the right and should not serve detention for this offense or any future offenses along the same lines.

What else should I have done?

You can't be nearly as intelligent as you like to tell us you are if you can't honestly answer this question for your self.

Seriously, there are 3 obvious things that don't even involve talking to that bitch.
1) Appeal to the dealer that she's out-of-line and clearly verbally assaulting you.
2) Call over the floorman and make the same appeal.
3) Clean up your chips, cash out, and have a nice 10-minute convo with the manager about how you usually drive an extra distance, past another casino, to play at his house, but after both the dealer and floorman sat there with their thumbs up their asses and watched another patron flip her shit on you, that you've decided that this house might not be the place for you.
Then call back in a couple of days and thank the manager for taking the time to listen to you. Tell him/her you were planning on getting some more hands in soon, but you're really interested in just some friendly games. If he gives you any form of assurance that what happened to you was against the policy and that the dealer and floorman have reviewed the video and everyone agrees that you were treated unfairly, then excellent. If not, don't ask for any petty shit like that, just thank him again for taking the time to listen to you, and stop gaming at that house for a month or so.

[OngBonga]

4) Threaten to sue them for sexual discrimination.

[BananaStand]

Its too cumbersome to type on my phone while im playing, but MMM, youre friggen nuts. More to come......

[Poopadoop]

Seriously, there are 3 obvious things that don't even involve talking to that bitch.
1) Appeal to the dealer that she's out-of-line and clearly verbally assaulting you.
2) Call over the floorman and make the same appeal.
3) Clean up your chips, cash out, and have a nice 10-minute convo with the manager about how you usually drive an extra distance, past another casino, to play at his house, but after both the dealer and floorman sat there with their thumbs up their asses and watched another patron flip her shit on you, that you've decided that this house might not be the place for you.
Then call back in a couple of days and thank the manager for taking the time to listen to you. Tell him/her you were planning on getting some more hands in soon, but you're really interested in just some friendly games. If he gives you any form of assurance that what happened to you was against the policy and that the dealer and floorman have reviewed the video and everyone agrees that you were treated unfairly, then excellent. If not, don't ask for any petty shit like that, just thank him again for taking the time to listen to you, and stop gaming at that house for a month or so.

All of 1-3 are out as wussy, sorry. 3 is definitely more work than the situation is worth. In order of preference, I would:

a) Tell her you're not going to take her shit in a way proportionate to what's she's been saying, but don't escalate.
b) Smile and make a joke.
c) Ignore her and everyone else entirely and keep playing.

This all of course assumes you haven't been being a douchebag at the table yourself and don't have some of this coming to you. If that's the case, then just keep your mouth shut about it and start acting better from then on.

[Poopadoop]

4) Threaten to sue them for sexual discrimination.

lol.

[Poopadoop]

I don't imagine if one of your kids was in trouble at school for dropping the c-bomb on someone that you'd just pat them on the back and say, "nice one. That was definitely the most optimal way to handle that situation."

Haha, that's probably exactly what he would do.