post something that everyone might not know about you

[chardrian]

I've never understood why some people don't have sex when the female is menstruating - free lube.

[Xianti]

I've never understood why some people don't have sex when the female is menstruating - free lube.

I'm not turned off by it. However, some girls simply don't want to be touched when they're menstruating. Others, however, are even hornier.

[UG]

Yeah, doesn't bother me either. Just shower afterwards and all is good.

Speaking of having sex while a girl is menstruating...


WHEN THE RED RIVER FLOWS, TAKE THE DIRT ROAD!

[UG]

also, boost, handjobs are awesome





if you're in high school

[a500lbgorilla]

also, boost, handjobs are awesome





if you're in high school

Any time boost can get a lady-friend to touch his winkie-dink he should be proud. Don't you take that away from him.

[Xianti]

handjabu?

[givememyleg]

i won't go near that thing when the red is flowing

[Lukie]

also, boost, handjobs are awesome





if you're in middle school or your name is george

zing

[a500lbgorilla]

Lukie if you're trying to claim that HJs weren't cool in highschool then you are spinning quite a tall tale, sir.

[StageWhisper]

WHEN THE RED RIVER FLOWS, TAKE THE DIRT ROAD!

QFT

[gabe]

haha great stuff

[zook]

WHEN THE RED RIVER FLOWS, TAKE THE DIRT ROAD!

QFT

[givememyleg]

WHEN THE RED RIVER FLOWS, TAKE THE DIRT ROAD!

QFT

hahahaaa

[givememyleg]

oh also, when did it become uncool to get a hj?

[bigspenda73]

WHEN THE RED RIVER FLOWS, TAKE THE DIRT ROAD!

QFT

OMG I'm in love

[swiggidy]

oh also, when did it become uncool to get a hj?

If that's your thing I guess it's cool.

A handjob is a man's job
A blowjob is yo job
-man to woman

[StageWhisper]

oh also, when did it become uncool to get a hj?

I don't get the point of doing something for a guy that he can do way better for himself.

[swiggidy]

this was from playboy, they suggested calling it a blow-party instead of a blow-job cuz it should be fun, not work. My last gf was a no-no with the flo-flo but she would get all excited for the upcoming blow-party days.

[StageWhisper]

Should have kept her then.

[swiggidy]

Should have kept her then.

prob

[Lukie]

w t f

apparantly my voice makes girls masturbate and orgasm on the phone (twice!)

i wasn't even saying anything sexual

true story

beat: she self proclaims herself basically as god's daughter, no sex before marriage, yadayadayada

[givememyleg]

w t f

apparantly my voice makes girls masturbate and orgasm on the phone (twice!)

i wasn't even saying anything sexual

true story

too bad you chickened out, didn't get her number, started a thread about it, then locked it out of embarassment

[Lukie]

w t f

apparantly my voice makes girls masturbate and orgasm on the phone (twice!)

i wasn't even saying anything sexual

true story

too bad you chickened out, didn't get her number, started a thread about it, then locked it out of embarassment

but i didnt chicken out, i already had her number, didn't start a thread about it, and i cant lock a thread out of embarrassment unless it's mine!

[euphoricism]

I rode the red river a few times with an ex. I really, I just dont recommend it. Pulling your dick out and seeing it all bloody is just not something you want to do.

[Xianti]

I like it. It's extra warm and juicy.

[euphoricism]

Its memorable, thats for sure. If I think about it, I can see it perfectly. I'd rather not.

We did it once with her on top too. When we "detached", it poured all over me. I think that ruined it for me.

[Xianti]

We did it once with her on top too. When we "detached", it poured all over me. I think that ruined it for me.

Well, no. You don't want her on top when she's on the rag. That's just silly.

[StageWhisper]

I rode the red river a few times with an ex. I really, I just dont recommend it. Pulling your dick out and seeing it all bloody is just not something you want to do.

Aggreement from the other side.

they suggested calling it a blow-party instead of a blow-job cuz it should be fun, not work.

BTW, this is only true if it ends in 15 minutes or less. After that, it is definately a job. So if you plan on 'having a party', don't beat off before hand. That's just mean.

[Da GOAT]

I like it. It's extra warm and juicy.

simply the grossest thing you have ever said oh wise one

only once that i know of riding on the rag there was just a tiny bit of blood on the sheets after i pulled out, just did not like it. END OF STORY

[Irisheyes]

Why didn't someone PM me and tell me this thread got awesome?

[Irisheyes]

I like it. It's extra warm and juicy.

simply the grossest thing you have ever said oh wise one

only once that i know of riding on the rag there was just a tiny bit of blood on the sheets after i pulled out, just did not like it. END OF STORY

Goat you going to the IO?

[Da GOAT]

Goat you going to the IO?

my mates brother is in it, thats about as close as ill get. havent tried to get a ticket. You?

[cardsman1992]

I can wait out the Red Storm now LOL, but there was a time it didn't matter. One time I was, um, "reciprocating", and I didn't know for a few seconds that she was just getting started. No clue. Until I got that funny taste.......

Also, in keeping with the April Muppet theme, you wouldn't likely know that I can sound and sing like Kermit. There was a radio contest here in Indianapolis where you got front row tickets to a concert for doing and impersonation. I called in and sang the first few lines of "The Rainbow Connection" and won.......LOL......

[swiggidy]

they suggested calling it a blow-party instead of a blow-job cuz it should be fun, not work.

BTW, this is only true if it ends in 15 minutes or less. After that, it is definately a job. So if you plan on 'having a party', don't beat off before hand. That's just mean.

lol, who does that?

I had a gf who lived like an hour away. Since I only saw here a couple times a week I was definitely hitting it no matter what was going on. When you live close (or together) taking a couple days off isn't that big of a deal.

[boost]

I like it. It's extra warm and juicy.

Im with you brother. I wouldnt rock it if its just some random chick (most wouldnt let you anyways), but with a girl youre serious with.. meh.. why not?

funny story... road trip... that spoke of the cycle... hotel room... maids got a suprise hwen they went to wash the sheets...

say! george that room was booked as a block of rooms for you wedding, hope you didnt get smacked with a bill for new bed sheets.

[boost]

My last gf was a no-no with the flo-flo but she would get all excited for the upcoming blow-party days.

yah, I remember one time we were a lil drunk I think and both horny as fuck so we just did it, like x man said, its warmer and wetter... just turn the lights off. However I sometimes would regret doing it because before we broke that barrier, I was getting a couple days of blow jobs and I didnt have to do shit for them. Obv I still got head all the time, but it was more foreplay, rarely got to finish that way.

[XTR1000]

One time I was, um, "reciprocating", and I didn't know for a few seconds that she was just getting started. No clue. Until I got that funny taste.......

i dont know, if i understand you right, but hell.......i cant even imagine....


if girls wouldn´t bleed once in a month, i´d never put a rubber on in my life....dont u guys tell me you stick your willy without a rainjacket in the red sea?!

[bigred]

I love blow jobs. I will never ride the red river.

[bigspenda73]

I dont trust anything that bleeds for a week and doesn't die.

[givememyleg]

YOU ALL DISGUST ME WHAT ARE YOU ALL VAMPIRES

[bigspenda73]

YOU ALL DISGUST ME WHAT ARE YOU ALL VAMPIRES

I dated a girl once that loved to bite and be bit. Seriously pretty hot stuff. I had never even tried it before and now I love it. Freaks some girls out at first so you have to nibble a bit.

[IowaSkinsFan]

I love blow jobs.

QFT

There a lot better when the girl likes doing it.

[XTR1000]

i picked up a girl in a club last year. the next morning there were some red spots on my sheet. she just turned 17, i still hope the reason wasn´t her monthly flow

[swiggidy]

There was one time my neighbor (female) who I hung with quite a bit said 3 friends were coming into town for the weekend and me and my roommate should come out with them. Jackpot!!!

1st chick is way annoying, waved off. Second I talk to a bit, meh. Third was mingling and shit so I didn't get to talk to her until like 1am (our bars close at 2am). We hit it off. I suggest we keep drinking when we get back. Everyone else passes out, so it's the 2 of us on the front porch. Around 4am we start making out hardcore. I almost have here shirt off on the porch.

Me: So you wanna go upstairs
Her: Ummm, I'm not sure that's a good idea
Me: Oh, do you have a bf or something?
Her: No, that's not it.
Me: Well you've done it before right?
Her: Oh, ya that's not it.
Me: Well I don't understand the problem then.
Her: Well it's that time of the month.
Me: Oh, shit, we'll just throw down a towel, no biggie.
Her: Oh, is that all it takes? Let me go take out my contacts first...

[boost]

goooooooo swig!

towels ftw!

xtr, its really wet, and really warm, why would you ruin that with a rubber?

[Reidak]

You guys inspired me to share.

Rewind to last summer. I have a gf, we get caught messing around in her basement by her deaf grandmother.

Status amongst her clique +++

Fast forward to two months ago. Im in her friends basement watching a hockey game. Her friend offers me a drink, I decline (why? i dont know.). She starts coming onto me, I start joking around (7 minutes left in the first period, wanted to wait for the intermission). Eventually the horn blows and I allow her access.

Skip details. Shes half nekkid (top up) grinding her pelvis into my crotch as I work magic. Magic, i tell you. Magic.

So I reach for her pants to unbutton them, shes sitting on the couch now.
I did it a couple times lightly just to test where i was at, slid the thumb underneath the pants, let her know i was there. Anyways she reached down (fuck, i thought i was going to get the 'noooo') and she undid the button. I was going to, but i didnt want to get a rape charge. Anyways I go in now. The cookies are ready, i thought.

I remember a friend telling me about the smell test.
I love him for it.

I bring the hand up, behind her back as im kissing her neck.

From even a foot away from my face, i knew it was game over.



Everything unholy and evil in this world was camping in her vagina, in the form of odour.


In her defense, she *was* at cheer for a couple hours previous to having me over. but serously, she came onto me.

Anyways that really put me off. So I stop and ask her what the time is.
X:30 she said.

OH FUCK. i say, jumping up.
'i was supposed to call my boy at X!'

(i forgot the hour)

so i fake the call, pace around. did it well, gtfo of there.

[boost]

^ wow...

[cardsman1992]

I dont trust anything that bleeds for a week and doesn't die.

LOLOLOLOL My uncles used to say this all the time. Still makes me laugh.

XTR....she hadnt' really started heavy or anything, she didn't even know she had started. But there was just the hint..........

[euphoricism]

goooooooo swig!

towels ftw!

xtr, its really wet, and really warm, why would you ruin that with a rubber?

I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

[givememyleg]

where's char?

he hardly, if ever, gets pms

[euphoricism]

The initials to my middle school were PMS.

[IowaSkinsFan]

She starts coming onto me, I start joking around (7 minutes left in her first period, I know I need to work quickly cause I like the extra warm and juicy feeling).

[swiggidy]

where's char?

he hardly, if ever, gets pms

I just realized in the last week or so that this was P.M.S.

I was assuming PMs (personal messages). I'm such a n00b.

[Da GOAT]

where's char?

he hardly, if ever, gets pms

I just realized in the last week or so that this was P.M.S.

I was assuming PMs (personal messages). I'm such a n00b.

i took it that way to swig.

Fortune500, what you smelled your hand for odour. I aint never done that or maybe ive been fortunate not to come across stank vag.

[bigred]

where's char?

he hardly, if ever, gets pms

I just realized in the last week or so that this was P.M.S.

I was assuming PMs (personal messages). I'm such a n00b.

I think every single person on FTR has had this realization at some point. It's the ultimate joke.

And just for the new theme of this thread:

Brick Tamland: I read somewhere their periods attract bears. Bears can smell the menstruation.

Brian Fantana: Well, that's just great. You hear that, Ed? Bears. Now you're putting the whole station in jeopardy.

[a500lbgorilla]

Chard's title originated from him hardly if ever getting personal messages.

[XTR1000]

I think every single person on FTR has had this realization at some point. It's the ultimate joke.

i don´t get it.

[Galapogos]

I used to work in the movie biz in Hollywood.
I was an Assistant Director in the Director's Guild of America for many years and I was fortunate to work on such films as, The Shawshank Redemption, Wild Things, The Peacemaker and Casino, to name just a few.

This post seems so random I was wondering what the fuck would possess this guy to talk about his old work just out of the blue like that. Then I remembered this actually wasn't a thread about circumcision, hand jobs, girls finding Lukie's phone voice irresistable (wtf?), and parting the red sea. The FTR Theorem at it's finest!

BTW, some of you need to man up! What are you so scared of plowing your girlfriend when she's on her rag?

Something that did gross me out is I had a friend that went down on a 200+ beast he picked up at the bar one night. And he went down on her while she was heavily ovulating. And on top of all that, this isn't a story of secret shame to him, he still brags about that night to this day.

I was born in a different decade to when I was due to be born.

[swiggidy]

Chard's title originated from him hardly if ever getting personal messages.

k, so I'm not crazy.

[boost]

I was born in a different decade to when I was due to be born.

fiscal?

[boost]

I prefer sleeping in the nude.

[donkbee]

Chard's title originated from him hardly if ever getting personal messages.

k, so I'm not crazy.

yeesh guys. it's supposed to be a play on both version of pms. xianti was going to make it PMs but i made him change it so it could go both ways.

[euphoricism]

haha. chard goes both ways. *giggle*

[swiggidy]

I prefer sleeping in the nude.

people who don't are weird

[IowaSkinsFan]

I prefer sleeping in the nude.

people who don't are weird

De gustibus non disputandem est (excuse my bad latin)

[chardrian]

I rarely, if ever, get pms.

I almost always sleep in the nude.

[Reidak]

She starts coming onto me, I start joking around (7 minutes left in her first period, I know I need to work quickly cause I like the extra warm and juicy feeling).

are you kidding? in 7 minutes I could have finished, had a smoke, gone at it again and been home grinding 25nl.

Jkin ima champ.

[Lukie]

i'm wearing shorts right now (workout type shorts) and i'm going commando, it's very comfortable.

[boost]

I got out the shower and was lotioning my body, hot right?, and george imed me, I talked to george for several minutes while naked and of course informed him of this fact.

[Galapogos]

Someone start talking about something else fast! Lukie and Boost are taking this thread to a place I really don't want to see it go!

[Jay67s]

I watched the 3 part special on the Galapogos islands, I found it very interesting. (on the national geographic channel)

[boost]

Someone start talking about something else fast! Lukie and Boost are taking this thread to a place I really don't want to see it go!

sorry this is the road to boys town and weve past the last turn off.

[Xianti]

sorry this is the road to boys town and weve past the last turn off.

[IowaSkinsFan]

Galapogos jinxed it.