pokerstars out-trolled me

[amir is cool]

so my friend sends me this like a week ago:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fnL9_...eature=related

and today hes like "lol you should email pokerstars support and say "pokerstars, i regret to inform you that every villain is lemons"" and i decide to email them with this:

To whom it may concern,

Hello. I have some troubling and disturbing news for the Pokerstars Support Team. It would behoove you to be very delicate and careful with this information, as I strongly suspect that the very fabric of the Pokerstars team has been compromised with corruption, and any information from this e-mail message that falls on corrupt ears can immediately alert them to the fact that their cover has been exposed. If this revelation hits the public too early there could be massive ramifications, including but not limited to: riots, social order collapse, headaches, nausea, blindness, earthquakes, hurricanes, the downfall of wal-mart, drought, widespread power-outage, and the disappearance of south Africa.

This information, while hard to believe, is verified by a professional shoemaker. Please brace yourself for extreme, life-changing information. If you are squeamish, you might want to get a bucket.

Recently, several pop-figures with secret agendas have formed an alliance of super-villains, including Barnacle Boy, The Dirty Bubble, Manray, Optimus Prime, Aquaman, The entire Power-Ranger team (including the megazord), George Clooney, Al Pacino, 50 Cent, Gucci Mane, Madonna, The Batmobile, Mr. T, and Samuel L Jackson. This team has named their alliance:

Every
Villain
Is
Lemons

Otherwise known as EVIL.

I hope that this email does its job to inform you of the extremely mischievous group going by "EVIL" and helps to give you warning about them, as they all love to gamble, and particularly like the game 3 card monte, it would be a good idea to watch your 3 card monte tables and keep a close look out for any one of the alliance. Be sure to keep a multi-vitamin handy, as this is their only weakness.

Your Friend and Business Assosciate,
Skidward

i obviously didnt expect a response back but 20 mins later i get this

Hello,

We have forwarded your email to a Support Supervisor for their review and
response. You will receive a reply as soon as possible.

Your patience is appreciated.

Regards,

Allen
PokerStars Support Team

followed by this a while later:

Hello Skidward,

Thank you for contacting PokerStars.

Allow me to start by thanking you for the time that you took to deliver
your ominous
warning to us. Let me assure you that there has been no corruption; every
PokerStars
employee values the integrity of our site as paramount and we pride
ourselves on our
sterling reputation.

My sources indicate that since you sent your e-mail to us we been
fortunate enough to
avoid any widespread rioting or social upheaval. These same sources also
indicate that
the country of South Africa is still very much existent.

I must admit that I did find your news to be disturbing to say the least;
the fact that
this information has been independently verified by one adept in the
cobbler's art only
lends greater weight and import to the matter. Verily, the destruction
that a nefarious
cohort comprising of Mr. T, the Power Rangers and Samuel L. Jackson could
potentially
unleash is a thought too ghastly to contemplate.

This however, would pale in comparison to the catastrophe that would be a
musical
collaboration between Madonna and 50 Cent. As I reflected on this last
thought, I was
glad to have taken your advice to have a bucket in close proximity, as the
nausea was
truly overpowering.

Rest assured that in order to combat the menace presented by the group
known as EVIL, we
have assembled a group of our finest Poker Specialists. For obvious
reasons, we are
unable to divulge the identities of the members this super-heroic vanguard
against the
forces of EVIL, suffice to say that they choose to be collectively
identified by the
following name:

Super-Poker Specialists
That
Always
Run
Sick

In the face of such a valiant group of heroic defenders, the forces of
EVIL do not stand
a chance. While we do not currently offer Three-card Monte on our site, in
the very
unlikely event that we offer it at some stage in the future, we will
surely be on the
lookout for members of EVIL.

I trust that I have adequately addressed your concerns. Please feel free
to contact us
if there is anything else we can help you with, as we are available 24
hours a day to
assist you. If the matter is especially urgent, do not hesitate to use the
STARS signal
(red spade logo projected over the city skyline).

Thank you for choosing PokerStars and best of luck at the tables!


Regards,

Aaron A
PokerStars Support Team

well played aaron a. well played.

[tomato paste carnage]

Aaron A just stacked you irl.

[JKDS]

omfg i loled irl

[BankItDrew]

Winnars in this thread.

[Parasurama]

Man, I hate to be a grammar nazi, but "comprising of" totally killed my flow

otherwise lols

[bode]

on a scale of 1 to tommy chong, how high were you when you wrote the initial email?

awesome response from stats though.

[KillsAids]

awesomeness itt

[a500lbgorilla]

on a scale of 1 to tommy chong, how high were you when you wrote the initial email?

haha, FTR must know

[spoonitnow]

Where is the mspaint from stars support

[BooG690]

OMGYES. GREAT THREAD. AMIRWINSTHEINTERNET.

[Stacks]

Man I love Stars.. I bet FTP sends back a form letter stating that "Everything is perfectly fine.. Do not worry". Stars tells us da truf!

[givememyleg]

haha!

[GatorJH]

Where is the mspaint from stars support

the drawing of the dungeon was just as funny imo.

[triumphant cracker]

that..is utterly lolz worth.

[triumphant cracker]

and..that reminds me of o book i read...."letters from a nut". by ted l. nancy. it as well is very lol.

[Ragnar4]

Re-Troll from another member

In which you send the picture of the Poker Stars Dungeon that is full of gold, and suggest that they turn that into their "Stars Cave" along with a few suggestions as to where they could put all the money that had been displaced.

Send them a picture of your house with an empty dungeon that could use some gold, along with pictures of lasers on top of the house to protect from would-be thiefs.

GO GO GO.

[BooG690]

This thread is so classic...I've chosen to bump it.