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  1. #1

    Default Poker Quotes

    " Last year people won more than one billion dollars playing poker. And casinos made twenty-seven billion just by being around those people." by Samantha Bee

    " Manipulating people is what's so fun about poker. I love that you can just look into someone's eyes and lie - and it's perfectly acceptable." by Cheryl Hines

    " I think one of the interesting things about poker is that once you let your ego in, you're done for." by Al Alvarez
  2. #2
    Jack Sawyer's Avatar
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    Jack-high straight flush motherfucker
    "Poker is fun, for everyone" by Some Asshole
    My dream... is to fly... over the rainbow... so high...


    Cogito ergo sum

    VHS is like a book? and a book is like a stack of kindles.
    Hey, I'm in a movie!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYdwe3ArFWA
  3. #3
    Lukie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jack Sawyer View Post
    "Poker is fun, for everyone" by Some Asshole
    ha!

    I'm not sure if you saw my ninja post/delete and are mocking me, or we both thought of the same obnoxious song
  4. #4
    Jack Sawyer's Avatar
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    Jack-high straight flush motherfucker
    hahaha
    My dream... is to fly... over the rainbow... so high...


    Cogito ergo sum

    VHS is like a book? and a book is like a stack of kindles.
    Hey, I'm in a movie!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYdwe3ArFWA
  5. #5
    spoonitnow's Avatar
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    TURN MY HEADPHONES UP
  6. #6
    spoonitnow's Avatar
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    TURN THEM SHITS UP
  7. #7
    Poker is a thing with cards.

    -luco 2014
    Congratulations, you've won your dick's weight in sweets! Decode the message in the above post to find out how to claim your tic-tac
  8. #8
    spoonitnow's Avatar
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    I CAN'T HEAR SHIT OUT OF MY LEFT EAR
  9. #9
    MadMojoMonkey's Avatar
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    You don't want to hear that shit, anyway.
  10. #10
    spoonitnow's Avatar
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    I SPIT HOT FIRE
  11. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by spoonitnow View Post
    I SPIT HOT FIRE
    Can you make your sig font any bigger? I think people might miss it.
  12. #12
    "Bad beats only happen to good players" by Joe Crow

    "Show me a good loser and I'll show you a loser." by Stu Ungar
  13. #13
    Who are all these people you guys are quoting? Quote someone I've heard of dammit. Like Fnord.

    Why poker fucks with our heads: it's the master that beats you for bringing in the paper, then gives you a milkbone for peeing on the carpet.
    ~Fnord
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  14. #14
    Galapogos's Avatar
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    Who are all these people you guys are quoting? Quote someone I've heard of dammit. Like Fnord.
    ~OngBonga


    Quote Originally Posted by sauce123
    I don't get why you insist on stacking off with like jack high all the time.
  15. #15
    Renton's Avatar
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    [3:57:13 AM] thomas l (renton555): you don't flat 4bets to flop the nuts
    [3:57:21 AM] thomas l (renton555): you flat 4bets to pair-mine
    [3:57:30 AM] thomas l (renton555): and when you strike pair, you don't fold pair
  16. #16
    Lukie's Avatar
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    "Alright, now we got a damn hand. Jesus Christ, let's see if we can do something with it. Unfortunately this jackass is not in it."

    "Ha ha ha ha ha"

    "Have I ever told you how much I absolutely, positively hate Party's lobby? I just spent 10 minutes clicking on tables trying to it says 3 outta 6, and I open the damn thing up and as it's not an open table there. I hate party. GOD I HATE that.. God I hate party. Did I mention I hate party?"

    "Got a pair tens here. What the hell am I going to do with a pair of 10s."

    "GET OUTTA HERE Ded gum this stupid I hate this ararhfsoife I'm getting mad now. GODDAMNIT! GODDDFDJFD pff WHAT THE FERKIN HELL!"

    "You know I really get tired of people calling me, I really do"

    "Everybody just wants to call me like crazy when I don't have anything."

    "AHH GODDAMNIT I'M GOING ALL-IN Jesus Christ."

    "Son of a goddamn bitch, son of a bitch, ifhyahcahcahcahch"

    "I mean I mean I'm just spewing chips. I'm just spewing chips"

    "And it's not that I'm not playing good, I'm just getting shit for cards."

    "Oh LOOK AT THAT, LOOK AT THAT, FOLD RIGHT AWAY, YEAH RUN RUN RUN!!"

    "Jesus Christ."

    "Unbelievable. Unfucking believable"

    "I can't even win a lousy eleven dollar pot."

    "HOLY MACKEREL!"
  17. #17
    Renton's Avatar
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    I think you forgot "fuck me to god damn tears"
  18. #18
    [backdoor flush hits where his opponent is not even likely to be on a flush draw]

    "fuh-ther [sic]. god. damn. sonofa. bitch. fuckin'. bastard. sonofa. fuckin'. bitch. why. the cock. fucking. sucking. hell. does this. happen. every. fucking. time."

    [check/calls and sees flush]

    "oh-my-god-mother-fucking-god-damn-cock-sucker. you know, i try to - i try to put a move - i'm trying to induce him to get frisky befo- he just didn't do it. and then the god damn card comes. they always come. every. god. damn. time. the fuckin god damn flush card comes. every. god. damn. time."
  19. #19
    My favorites are "The beautiful thing about poker is that everybody thinks they can play." by Chris Moneymaker which is kind of ironic and “In the long run there’s no luck in poker, but the short run is longer than most people know.” by Rick Bennet.
  20. #20
    "Let the gays play poker. Their clothes might be pink but their money is green" - Abraham Lincoln.

    True patriot.
  21. #21
    Lukie's Avatar
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    ""7,8,9,10... NOTHING!!! LOOK AT THAT! LOOK AT THAT! LOOK AT THAT! I CAN'T WIN NOTHING! WHAT AM I DOING?! WHAT AM I DOING??! GOD! OH MAN! This is bad, this is bad, this is bad...."

    ....

    "look at that, look at that! Boy he has NO FEAR! GOD MAN! NO FEAR AT ALL! UHH GODDAMMIT I'M GOIN' ALL-IN!"
  22. #22
    Renton's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lukie View Post
    "look at that, look at that! Boy he has NO FEAR! GOD MAN! NO FEAR AT ALL! UHH GODDAMMIT I'M GOIN' ALL-IN!"
    noimnotnoimnotnoimnot
  23. #23
    Lukie's Avatar
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    lol, nice catch. There is always the issue of when to break the quotes off. You could quote a whole 20 minute video and I'd find it funny. Also, some of the videos are becoming hard to find so on that one for example, I just used someone else's quote (found on some forum via google) and remembered it quite well, so I put it on here.
  24. #24
    Springbok's Avatar
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    I really like this quote...

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