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The Official Cunnilingus Thread

View Poll Results: How often do you do it?

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  • Nearly never.

    2 10.53%
  • 25% as often as intercourse

    5 26.32%
  • 50% as often as intercourse

    3 15.79%
  • 75% as often as intercourse

    3 15.79%
  • 100% or more often than actual intercourse

    6 31.58%
Results 1 to 47 of 47
  1. #1
    Renton's Avatar
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    Default The Official Cunnilingus Thread

    This forum seems about as dead as fried chicken lately, so I figure its time for a provocative thread. I already tried making a thread about Kim Jong-Un that was sure to provoke, but it got scant replies. So today as I'm laid up with mild food poisoning and can't sleep at all, let's try another one.


    I'm gonna hang back for a while and suffice to say that I really like doing it. I'm not sure if that makes me a bathwater-drinking pussy or what. This thread is here to sort that out, but you're also welcome to discuss technique, how it could positively (or negatively) affect a relationship, etc.

    Also, poll.
  2. #2
    Prefer it to fucking. All I can say is if you haven't figured out how to stimulate a Gspot to get a woman to squirt, you don't know shit about a pussy.
  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by jyms View Post
    Prefer it to fucking. All I can say is if you haven't figured out how to stimulate a Gspot to get a woman to squirt, you don't know shit about a pussy.
    you prefer eating out a vagina over inserting your penis into it? what are you, a lesbian?
  4. #4
    Renton, you're a cool guy, but you're no spoonitnow when it comes to making threads.
  5. #5
    bikes's Avatar
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    ?wut
  6. #6
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    on in general, if someone goes down on you it's bad manners not to return the favor imo.

    ?wut
  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by jyms View Post
    Prefer it to fucking. All I can say is if you haven't figured out how to stimulate a Gspot to get a woman to squirt, you don't know shit about a pussy.
    Current GF hates the g. I don't have a large sample size of partners but i think like 2/3 of them were into g-spot stimulation and the others it caused pain. Current GF prefers a less invasive finger, applying small but constant pressure on the opposite of the g-spot (imagine putting your finger down against the bottom wall adjacent to the anal canal), while the majority of stimulation is on or around the clit.
  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by bikes View Post
    on in general, if someone goes down on you it's bad manners not to return the favor imo.
    I don't really agree with this. I think its more of a loose "I owe you / you owe me" policy. There's something really really nice about just a random impromptu blowjob that doesn't require any sort of reciprocal response. I'm assuming ladies feel the same about getting eaten out. Sometimes you just want to pop one off and go to sleep. I do agree though that eating out more should result in more beejes on average, though, and that's pretty true in my limited experience.
  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by bikes View Post
    on in general, if someone goes down on you it's bad manners not to return the favor imo.
    This tit for tat "point keeping" behavior destroys relationships.
  10. #10
    I'm a huge fan of going down on a chick. It's nice knowing you can always get them off, and lots of girls aren't used to regular orgasms from guy (esp the 22-24 yo variety /brag). I didn't watch bikes video yet, but I have my own technique that I don't recall reading or seeing anywhere else. I think it's high time I spread the news around...

    Put your open mouth over your girls clit and surrounding area, apply pressure by carefully sucking the clit and the surrounding flesh into your mouth (think of sucking on the whole areola as opposed to just the nipple), then flick the clit with your tongue. You aren't making a suck/suck type motion like a baby sucks a bottle, your goal is to apply constant pressure with your mouth, and drawing blood into the clit, then flick the hell out of it with your tongue. I find up and down is easiest. Your mouth will need to be open quite a bit to pull this off and while I can do it easily now, I recall it taking some practice so be patient. Getting your mouth open enough, maintaining pressure and getting your tongue moving all in congress takes a bit of work.

    This is definitely a finishing move, and, depending on the girl, orgasms can be intense and happen very fast. Don't go straight to this, or it might turn a girl off for being too much. Again, it depends on the girl.

    You're welcome.
    So you click their picture and then you get their money?
  11. #11
    ewwwww, you guys know that's where girls pee from, right?
  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by kingnat View Post
    This is definitely a finishing move, and, depending on the girl, orgasms can be intense and happen very fast. Don't go straight to this, or it might turn a girl off for being too much. Again, it depends on the girl.

    You're welcome.
    Yeah, honestly the more warmup there is and the longer it is drawn out, the better it is for them. It's the same principle as for a blowjob, its nice to have a turbo blowjob just to pop one off and be done with it, but its nicer to have a 5-10 minute drawn out thing. For women, this is amplified because it simply takes them longer to be fully acclimated to direct stimulation. Sometimes even when you take care to draw it out, you still end up stimulating them too quickly and they either cum poorly or not at all and its kind of over with at this point. Hard to fix once you've screwed it up.


    As far as technique, I like to mix it up a good bit from event to event just to keep variety, but one main theme is that I start out with a single indirect form of stimulation and add layers of stimulation on top of that. For example, you can suck on the vulva area (layer one, mostly indirect) with direct flicking of the tongue to the clit (layer two) like in kingnat's technique. But you can take that same technique and just gently rock your head up and down and now you've got three layers. Or you can even do all of those things + hum and you've got four. And you can have fun with rhythms as well, doing one thing at at one pace and another thing at half that pace. I think it's pretty important that the tempo be pretty consistent though, or ever increasing at a slight pace.
  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by kingnat View Post
    I'm a huge fan of going down on a chick. It's nice knowing you can always get them off, and lots of girls aren't used to regular orgasms from guy (esp the 22-24 yo variety /brag). I didn't watch bikes video yet, but I have my own technique that I don't recall reading or seeing anywhere else. I think it's high time I spread the news around...

    Put your open mouth over your girls clit and surrounding area, apply pressure by carefully sucking the clit and the surrounding flesh into your mouth (think of sucking on the whole areola as opposed to just the nipple), then flick the clit with your tongue. You aren't making a suck/suck type motion like a baby sucks a bottle, your goal is to apply constant pressure with your mouth, and drawing blood into the clit, then flick the hell out of it with your tongue. I find up and down is easiest. Your mouth will need to be open quite a bit to pull this off and while I can do it easily now, I recall it taking some practice so be patient. Getting your mouth open enough, maintaining pressure and getting your tongue moving all in congress takes a bit of work.

    This is definitely a finishing move, and, depending on the girl, orgasms can be intense and happen very fast. Don't go straight to this, or it might turn a girl off for being too much. Again, it depends on the girl.

    You're welcome.
    Pretty much same finishing technique here if she's having any sort of trouble, and bold is super true. Great way to get a girl addicted.

    Quote Originally Posted by d0zer View Post
    ewwwww, you guys know that's where girls pee from, right?
    Quite possibly the best troll post I have ever seen in my life at anything ever, and I mean that sincerely.
  14. #14
    What kingnat said. I can't believe how many times I have heard "Where did you learn to do that?" With women my age or ten years younger. Seriously, how can guys not know how to make a woman cum? It's like an auto invite back at almost any time.
  15. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by spoonitnow View Post
    Quite possibly the best troll post I have ever seen in my life at anything ever, and I mean that sincerely.
    Stop trolling me spoon. Your bible is clear about sodomy, and even if you're not religious, it makes sense in a modern context due to hygiene concerns.
  16. #16
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    Not a lot of masters of the muffin here...
  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Renton View Post
    Not a lot of masters of the muffin here...

    POTY

    calling it now.

    ?wut
  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Renton View Post
    I don't really agree with this. I think its more of a loose "I owe you / you owe me" policy. There's something really really nice about just a random impromptu blowjob that doesn't require any sort of reciprocal response. I'm assuming ladies feel the same about getting eaten out. Sometimes you just want to pop one off and go to sleep. I do agree though that eating out more should result in more beejes on average, though, and that's pretty true in my limited experience.

    Quote Originally Posted by spoonitnow View Post
    This tit for tat "point keeping" behavior destroys relationships.


    pfft at both of you. i am talking about 1 nighters. relationships what are this?

    ?wut
  19. #19
    Quote Originally Posted by bikes View Post
    pfft at both of you. i am talking about 1 nighters. relationships what are this?
    Going down on a girl on a one night stand, funny guy.
  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by ImSavy View Post
    Going down on a girl on a one night stand, funny guy.
    For those of us that are turned on by doing it, its not that funny. Also logistically I've just kind of got to the point where my penis is more comfortable at the post-cun vaginal moisture level than the mild arousal moisture level. And yes that was the most disgusting sentence I've ever concocted.
  21. #21
    If I won't eat it I sure as hell ain't going to fuck it.
  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by jyms View Post
    If I won't eat it I sure as hell ain't going to fuck it.
    2014's new fad diet, right here.
    <a href=http://i.imgur.com/kWiMIMW.png target=_blank>http://i.imgur.com/kWiMIMW.png</a>
  23. #23
    Renton's Avatar
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    Yeah and "eats babies, eats one night stand pussy" is the new "loves his mom, loves pcp".
  24. #24
    a500lbgorilla's Avatar
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    Had to google. I am losing my connection with common culture.
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  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by a500lbgorilla View Post
    Had to google. I am losing my connection with common culture.










    <--------------------------------- My location
  26. #26
    Quote Originally Posted by Renton View Post
    For those of us that are turned on by doing it, its not that funny. Also logistically I've just kind of got to the point where my penis is more comfortable at the post-cun vaginal moisture level than the mild arousal moisture level. And yes that was the most disgusting sentence I've ever concocted.
    Clearly you haven't considered a few factors.

    1) The state of the girls that will sleep with me
    2) The state that I'm in to sleep with the girls that will sleep with me
    3) The amount of effort I'm required to put in whilst in that state
    4) How little I care
  27. #27
    Not sure I've got the sample size these past few years to give an accurate answer, but my proportion is definitely declining now I'm in a long-term relationship where we both grind 12-14 hour working days. That's not a valid excuse for not doing it ofc, but that's the reality when you are both knackered and time-bound.

    Quote Originally Posted by jyms View Post
    I can't believe how many times I have heard "Where did you learn to do that?"
    Pretty sure every woman says this to every new man, apart from those times when you're so far off from each other on the sexual compatibility scale, you might as well have not bothered and it would obviously be a lie.

    Quote Originally Posted by ImSavy View Post
    Going down on a girl on a one night stand, funny guy.
    Yeah, this if with a complete stranger.
  28. #28
    Auto-read your name as The Bean Flicker given the thread title. Fuck, my subconscious is awesome.
  29. #29
    Quote Originally Posted by bikes View Post
    pfft at both of you. i am talking about 1 nighters. relationships what are this?
    Doing it right.

    I feel this thread was made for me as I think I have a decent sample size for my age/in general.

    Eating pussy is probably my 3rd favorite thing in the world after sex and breathing. Something about getting a chick off using nothing but my tongue (look ma! No hands!) is a massive turn on for me.

    I regularly eat out one nighters with no reservations. Can only think of 3 instances where I either didn't feel like it or they refused. As jyms says, if I wouldn't eat it, I wouldn't fuck it, except for one drunkenly mistake we will only refer to as Shrek.

    As for technique, its not one size fits all, varies from female to female. As a baseline, start slow, don't dive nose deep into it off the bat. Play around, tease her, then when you feel like its go time, take a sloooowww lick barely between the lips. After this, all depends on how she reacts to what you're doing. Some like forceful fast flicking on the clit, some like slow light licks all around. Just change it up until you find the right spot.

    My favorite go to if I'm feeling lazy/unimaginative is tracing the abc's. Feel like that's pretty standard or old school though.

    As for her owing me, blowjobs are great but as long as I get to hit that shit from the back, we're square in my book.

    @Benny, I feel like a far more controversial/interesting topic would be ass licking and you would get far more differing opinions from the posts.
  30. #30
    I don't know why that's directed at me but I like where your head is at. Carry on.
  31. #31
    Because you started this thread, no?

    In response, I'm cool with it if shes decently above my average lay and is a female I can trust to a certain extent. (Lol trusting something that bleeds for 7 days and doesn't die.)
  32. #32
    Whoops, my bad. Was renton, not Benny. W/e, got distracted by porn stache in avatar.
  33. #33
    Renton's Avatar
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    My theory about anything anal-related is that probably most women would be into it and pushing your sex life with her into that direction can only have positive benefits.
  34. #34
    pictures that make u wooo. now talking about eating pussy. lovely jubbly. whats next on this progressive forum............eating anus
  35. #35
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    If you won't eat it you won't fuck it? Bareback for sure, but covered I'd need to find a dick down there before I'm heading for the door. Once I get it out I fully intend to use it.
    I'm the king of bongo, baby I'm the king of bongo bong.
  36. #36
    Quote Originally Posted by rong View Post
    If you won't eat it you won't fuck it? Bareback for sure, but covered I'd need to find a dick down there before I'm heading for the door. Once I get it out I fully intend to use it.
    By door, I assume you mean back door?
  37. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by jyms View Post
    What kingnat said. I can't believe how many times I have heard "Where did you learn to do that?" With women my age or ten years younger. Seriously, how can guys not know how to make a woman cum? It's like an auto invite back at almost any time.
    Huh?? Who wants to go back?
  38. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by joker131 View Post
    pictures that make u wooo. now talking about eating pussy. lovely jubbly. whats next on this progressive forum............eating anus
    I would hope so. If it was a first date, this ^ would be almost a given. One needs to cover all bases imo & obviously leave them with a great first impression (that is of course if you're hoping to meet their girlfriends in the immediate future)
  39. #39
    You're eating ass on a first date?

    Do you want to go on a date?
  40. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by BennyLaRue View Post
    You're eating ass on a first date?

    Do you want to go on a date?
    Pretty sure your's wouldn't qualify... & yes. 'ate' though would be better way to put it... I am OLD now & married. I used to work as a bouncer in stripjoints in Toronto & Vancouver... 'ass-eating' was just part of the job.
  41. #41
    Quote Originally Posted by Poker Orifice View Post
    Pretty sure your's wouldn't qualify... & yes. 'ate' though would be better way to put it... I am OLD now & married. I used to work as a bouncer in stripjoints in Toronto & Vancouver... 'ass-eating' was just part of the job.
    all of this, and me too.
  42. #42
    come for the overpriced beers, stay for the e.coli
  43. #43
    rong's Avatar
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    As far as I'm aware, a lot of strippers in Canada are also hookers. Fuck eating a pro's ass. I mean come on, you gotta have some standards and eating the ass of a brass has to be considerably below where any line should be. I'd want to cut out my tongue after. Da fuck is wrong with people?
    I'm the king of bongo, baby I'm the king of bongo bong.
  44. #44
    Quote Originally Posted by rong View Post
    As far as I'm aware, a lot of strippers in Canada are also hookers.
    You mean it's different everywhere else in the world?
  45. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by rong View Post
    As far as I'm aware, a lot of strippers in Canada are also hookers. Fuck eating a pro's ass. I mean come on, you gotta have some standards and eating the ass of a brass has to be considerably below where any line should be. I'd want to cut out my tongue after. Da fuck is wrong with people?
    If its what you're into then its what you're into. In my knowledge that tends to supersede any considerations of health or risk for most people.
  46. #46
    Quote Originally Posted by rong View Post
    As far as I'm aware, a lot of strippers in Canada are also hookers.
    Depends on the place and those places are harder to find now.

    I was told.
  47. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by BennyLaRue View Post
    Depends on the place and those places are harder to find now.

    I was told.
    Wow, I also thought every stripper was a hooker. Apparently I the strip joints I visit are not the classy joints I was led to believe they are. Glad I never order food in them.


    Quote Originally Posted by sauce123
    I don't get why you insist on stacking off with like jack high all the time.

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