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My wife is filthy and uncouth

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  1. #1

    Default My wife is filthy and uncouth

    she woke up this morning soaking wet, so I gaver the bidness & tried to roll over & pass out again. She swung a leg over and started wiping a snail trail all over my torso. When I didn't respond enough, she dipped her fingers in and started wiping it on my face and shit.

    All I wanted was more sleep
  2. #2
    ...you must be getting old
    Congratulations, you've won your dick's weight in sweets! Decode the message in the above post to find out how to claim your tic-tac
  3. #3
    bikes's Avatar
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    this expert tr is expert

    ?wut
  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Lucothefish View Post
    ...you must be getting old
    Yeah that's pretty obvious, eh?
  5. #5
    Yes.

    [x] your wife is filthy and uncouth
    Congratulations, you've won your dick's weight in sweets! Decode the message in the above post to find out how to claim your tic-tac
  6. #6
    a500lbgorilla's Avatar
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    himself fucker.
    I was wondering where your daughter learned that shit.

    Oh and my grandfather says uncouth. He's 81.
    <a href=http://i.imgur.com/kWiMIMW.png target=_blank>http://i.imgur.com/kWiMIMW.png</a>
  7. #7
    a500lbgorilla's Avatar
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    himself fucker.
    jking aside, how soon before you aren't laughing at those commercials for synthetic testosterone-alike?
    <a href=http://i.imgur.com/kWiMIMW.png target=_blank>http://i.imgur.com/kWiMIMW.png</a>
  8. #8
    Damn... I figured this thread would be of interest as my wife is foul mouthed and uncooth. She has no concept of how out of line her comments are sometimes.
  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Monty3038 View Post
    Damn... I figured this thread would be of interest as my wife is foul mouthed and uncooth. She has no concept of how out of line her comments are sometimes.
    I bet she's a go'er tho!
  10. #10
    Whats uncouth? And why do u hate snail trails? My cheese tastes funny, I think its broken.
  11. #11
    bikes's Avatar
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    stealth bump

    ?wut
  12. #12
    BATTLE SEX
  13. #13
    solid bump
  14. #14
    was just banging wiff, spooning, and she finished me off by grinding her ass on my hog as I laid still. was pretty hot.

    When I finish, she exclaims: "it's like I was giving you a handjob with my vagina!"
  15. #15
    besides the Jesus stuff, your wife seems to be pretty fucking awesome. I still tell people about battle-sex occasionally.
  16. #16
    Jesus stuff? wiff is pretty atheist.
  17. #17
    Quote Originally Posted by d0zer View Post
    Jesus stuff? wiff is pretty atheist.
    wat. who was it that was always complaining in IRC about wife being a jesus nut? KN maybe?

    Anyways, your wife seems to be pretty much perfect. Can I borrow her for a year or two?
  18. #18
    Other than ge00 only animals get a look in. sorry bud.
  19. #19
    mrhappy333's Avatar
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    wheres the pics?
    3 3 3 I'm only half evil.
  20. #20
    SNAIL TRAIL

  21. #21
    p depressed tits and ass isn't in this thread.
    I will destroy you with sunshine and kittens.
  22. #22
    bikes's Avatar
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    HOW INTERESTING THAT I COULD DELIVER


    BUT NAH,


    won't ruin the awesomeness of one of my favorite, formerly never met, irl people. her hatred of tom dwan is vexing to me though.

    ?wut
  23. #23
    bigred's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bikes View Post
    HOW INTERESTING THAT I COULD DELIVER


    BUT NAH,


    won't ruin the awesomeness of one of my favorite, formerly never met, irl people. her hatred of tom dwan is vexing to me though.
    Don't make me turn this car around!
    LOL OPERATIONS
  24. #24
    bikes's Avatar
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    vegas 2013 you can turn the car around all you want

    ?wut
  25. #25
    bikes's Avatar
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    BUMP

    ?wut
  26. #26
    Well, since you bumped it...

    I'm divorced nowadays, but can identify the single moment (back when I was a newlywed) when I KNEW the honeymoon was officially over.

    It was when I was taking a bath and my wife came in to take a dump & didn't bother to close the curtain.
  27. #27
    http://www.flopturnriver.com/pokerfo...th-188897.html
    Quote Originally Posted by d0zer View Post
    she woke up this morning soaking wet, so I gaver the bidness & tried to roll over & pass out again. She swung a leg over and started wiping a snail trail all over my torso. When I didn't respond enough, she dipped her fingers in and started wiping it on my face and shit.

    All I wanted was more sleep
    http://www.flopturnriver.com/pokerfo...ve-197894.html
    Quote Originally Posted by paratrooper99 View Post
    Of course 4 betting is an option here but having position, Hero makes a viable call ip. As played, 77-QQ is getting it in on the flop. Considering the wetness of the flop, I would pop the flop to $8 and GII on flop.
    Dammit, this is getting messy,
    confusing and distracting.
    I can't take any more floppy wetness.
    > No community phrases in the poker.
    Last edited by chemist; 08-22-2014 at 07:28 AM.
  28. #28
    bikes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by d0zer View Post
    When I didn't respond enough, she dipped her fingers in and started wiping it on my face and shit.


    SIMBAAAAAAA

    ?wut
  29. #29
    spoonitnow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bikes View Post
    SIMBAAAAAAA
    lol ok this got a chuckle
  30. #30
    Quote Originally Posted by spoonitnow View Post
    lol ok this got a chuckle

    haha, yeah, bikes delivers this time.
  31. #31
    I'm going to give him a poor effort considering
    1) It took him > 3 years
    2) Unoriginal - http://www.urbandictionary.com/defin...rm=The%20Simba
    3) He bumped the thread earlier that day
  32. #32
    Quote Originally Posted by ImSavy View Post
    I'm going to give him a poor effort considering
    1) It took him > 3 years
    2) Unoriginal - http://www.urbandictionary.com/defin...rm=The%20Simba
    3) He bumped the thread earlier that day
  33. #33
    spoonitnow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by boost View Post

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