A black guy, a muslim, and a Jew walk into a bar.The bartender says "get the fuck out"
12-07-2010 02:52 PM
#301
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A black guy, a muslim, and a Jew walk into a bar.The bartender says "get the fuck out" | |
12-07-2010 03:35 PM
#302
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A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a drink. | |
12-07-2010 04:59 PM
#303
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Q. whats the difference between marmalade and jam?? |
Last edited by drwnthn; 12-07-2010 at 05:05 PM. | |
01-13-2011 11:18 AM
#304
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Two young businessmen in | |
01-13-2011 11:45 AM
#305
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ok these are all from sopranos but they are priceless nonetheless- | |
01-13-2011 10:50 PM
#306
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The Pope and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi were on the same stage in front of a huge crowd. | |
01-14-2011 10:24 PM
#307
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A priest and a rabbi we're walking through the park. The priest pointed to a young boy in the corner and said, "Let's go fuck that kid". | |
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01-19-2011 04:56 PM
#308
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A husband and wife were sitting watching a TV program about psychology | |
01-21-2011 01:50 PM
#309
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Taken from John Hodgeman's Areas of My Expertise. The chapter is titled: Jokes that have never produced laughter. | |
Last edited by oskar; 01-22-2011 at 10:37 AM.
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01-21-2011 11:37 PM
#310
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I don't get the first one. | |
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01-22-2011 10:37 AM
#311
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01-22-2011 01:16 PM
#312
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01-22-2011 08:26 PM
#313
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So there are these three midgeds. One goes: Hey guys check out my feet, aren't those the smalles feet you have ever seen. I think I might have the smalles feet in the world! There is much agreement. The second one says: You know, now that you say it, I think I might have the smallest hands in the world! Look at that! it's like warts on a stump, I can't even grip anything with this shit! | |
Last edited by oskar; 01-22-2011 at 08:33 PM.
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01-22-2011 08:43 PM
#314
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04-22-2011 10:19 PM
#315
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A black guy, a rapist and a homophobe walk into a bar. Everyone gathers and asks, "Kobe, can I have your autograph?" | |
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04-23-2011 04:05 PM
#316
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04-23-2011 08:03 PM
#317
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bruins fan? the fuck you canadiens thread is that way -------> | |
04-24-2011 12:35 PM
#318
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Hehe, the bigger joke is I'm a leafs fan. | |
04-28-2011 02:21 PM
#319
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Husband always insisted on making love in the dark. | |
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05-19-2011 03:33 AM
#320
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Muslim women have a new social networking site.....called |
05-19-2011 05:21 PM
#321
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05-20-2011 03:56 PM
#322
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Not really a joke, but not new thread worthy. I got owned so hard | |
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07-13-2011 02:35 PM
#323
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You: I heard the funniest fucking knock knock joke the other day. Do you want to hear it? (Start out with this or preface with a story of your choice) | |
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07-13-2011 03:07 PM
#324
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07-13-2011 03:42 PM
#325
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Try it sometime. They're expecting a joke and don't realize there isn't one until the awkward silence. | |
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07-13-2011 04:20 PM
#326
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Tried it on my daughter. I think it works better if you can hold a straight face for longer than like 3 seconds. She still cracked up tho. | |
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08-01-2011 12:23 PM
#327
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A Muslim kid can’t find his mother in the supermarket. The store attendant says ‘What does your mother look like?’ | |
08-28-2011 04:32 PM
#328
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He had a good business, a loving wife, two children, and a good house. | |
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08-28-2011 10:37 PM
#329
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01-10-2012 03:44 AM
#330
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I've heard this joke somewhere and it was hilarious, I only remember the punchline, but it hangs on the details. I've been trying to recreate it, I hope it works. | |
Last edited by oskar; 01-10-2012 at 04:00 AM.
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01-10-2012 10:52 AM
#331
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President Obama goes on a State visit to Israel. While he is on a tour of Jerusalem, he has a fatal heart attack. The undertaker tells the US diplomats: "You can have him shipped home for $1 million or you can bury him here in the Holy Land for $100." | |
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01-10-2012 01:13 PM
#332
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Tim Tebow: I haven't seen a white Bronco in the news this much since OJ... | |
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01-10-2012 10:23 PM
#333
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01-10-2012 10:31 PM
#334
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Knock, knock | |
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01-10-2012 11:55 PM
#335
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who's there? | |
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01-11-2012 03:06 AM
#336
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Quicksand | |
02-09-2012 05:12 AM
#337
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How could you tell the bird was out of breath? It was a puffin. | |
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03-08-2012 10:49 AM
#338
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How many Ugandan children does it take to screw in a light bulb? | |
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03-09-2012 11:55 AM
#339
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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? | |
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03-09-2012 01:46 PM
#340
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03-09-2012 01:54 PM
#341
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It would take two doctors, one to check her out and another female blonde one to suck my cock. I sense a fun day in store. | |
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03-09-2012 02:04 PM
#342
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Two rashers of bacon and a mushroom in a frying pan, sizzling away. | |
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03-09-2012 02:13 PM
#343
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the jews |
03-09-2012 03:54 PM
#344
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How many rednecks does it take to eat possum? | |
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04-11-2012 09:51 AM
#345
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A young couple wanted to join the church, the pastor told them, 'We have a special requirement for new member couples. You must abstain from sex for one whole month.' | |
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07-03-2012 06:27 PM
#346
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I read online that that one out of three people in my neighborhood are pedophiles. I don't believe it. Both of my neighbors are smoking hot 10 year olds. | |
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07-04-2012 01:16 AM
#347
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Quicksand who? | |
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07-17-2012 05:46 PM
#348
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When you think about it, any whistle could be a rape whistle. Except for maybe a slide whistle. | |
07-20-2012 01:52 PM
#349
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What did the fly say to the other fly? | |
07-26-2012 02:09 PM
#350
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What type of bees make milk????? | |
08-03-2012 03:45 AM
#351
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My house was vandalised yesterday. Some twat spray painted the word MONG across my windows in huge letters. Took me fuckin hours to lick it all off... | |
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08-04-2012 11:13 AM
#352
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lol, actually had to look up mong. I think I'll go clean my windows now. | |
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09-29-2012 09:10 PM
#353
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You can call a spade a spade... | |
09-29-2012 11:58 PM
#354
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a fish swims into a wall | |
10-08-2012 09:50 AM
#355
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I wrote a book about a transsexual with a speech impediment. It's called Man or Myth. | |
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10-08-2012 11:23 AM
#356
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BANNED
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I'm not racist; racism is a crime - and crime is for black people. |
11-29-2012 04:56 PM
#357
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An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years. | |
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01-07-2013 12:07 PM
#358
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Did you hear about the terrorist from Minnesota? | |
01-07-2013 05:05 PM
#359
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An elderly couple is enjoying a 50 year anniversary dinner together in a small tavern. The husband leans over and asks his wife, “Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years a go? We went behind this tavern where you leaned against the fence and I made love to you.” |
01-08-2013 05:47 AM
#360
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Ok that one was funny, wp celtic | |
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01-08-2013 06:29 AM
#361
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01-08-2013 06:32 AM
#362
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01-08-2013 07:29 AM
#363
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01-08-2013 07:38 AM
#364
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Yeah I got it kiwi, I wasn't born with a hole in my head. Other than the talkie, sniffy and listenie ones. | |
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01-08-2013 08:32 AM
#365
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he's in belgium - decent beer, chocolate etc. Maybe go for him first and me on the way back? | |
01-08-2013 08:38 AM
#366
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Sounds like a plan, it will give you time to buy one of these | |
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01-08-2013 10:10 AM
#367
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You gonna wine and dine me first though rite? | |
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01-08-2013 10:16 AM
#368
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01-08-2013 11:53 AM
#369
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01-08-2013 12:10 PM
#370
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Cos if he's not a cop he's a pervert for watching 2 old people have sex for 40 minutes. | |
01-08-2013 01:32 PM
#371
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01-12-2013 09:56 PM
#372
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What's the Difference between Jack Daniels and General Custer? | |
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01-22-2013 02:56 PM
#373
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Last edited by celtic123; 01-22-2013 at 03:01 PM. | |
02-14-2013 06:55 AM
#374
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If you're sad about being alone on Valentine's Day, just remember... | |
02-14-2013 07:33 AM
#375
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I have it on good authority my mum loves me at christmas, cunt | |