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Do you stand or sit when you wipe?

View Poll Results: Stand or Sit?

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  • Sit

    96 60.00%
  • Stand

    64 40.00%
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  1. #226
    rong's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BooG690
    Quote Originally Posted by OP
    Quote Originally Posted by kiwiMark
    [refold, rewipe]
    People don't really do this do they?
    Depends...if you're low on toilet paper, you gotta do what you gotta do.
    And its very much dependent on the quantity & texture of the remains on the tissue.
    I'm the king of bongo, baby I'm the king of bongo bong.
  2. #227
    all you do is bend forward and reach around man!

    i actually tried standing after reading this thread before and wow was that a weird experience.
  3. #228
    BooG690's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by givememyleg
    all you do is bend forward and reach around man!

    i actually tried standing after reading this thread before and wow was that a weird experience.
    So you're on the toilet while doing this? WHAT THE FUCK?

    And what's with this leaning to one side and reaching under? That's gross...
    That's how winners play; we convince the other guy he's making all the right moves.
  4. #229
    Well am I a sitter or a stander? I lean. Left leg stays on bowl, right leg is elevated, fold, wipe, check, [refold, rewipe], release. Repeat.
    The above was my conclusion after a dry run. Can now confirm I am a sitter, I don't even lift one leg, I simply lean forward, both thighs remain in contact with toilet bowl at all times.
  5. #230
    refold is stuper standard. Theres plenty of cleaning power left in that paper, cant be wasteful.
    You-- yes, you-- you're a cunt.
  6. #231
    bode's Avatar
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    notice that the guy in warpes comic is standing
    eeevees are not monies yet...they are like baby monies.
  7. #232
    old thread is old
    Quote Originally Posted by mrhappy333
    I didn't think its Bold to bang some chick with my bro. but i guess so... thats +EV in my book.
  8. #233
    This thread just hit Reddit. Sit or Stand while wiping? : AskReddit
  9. #234
    rofl. golden thread right here.

    Also, wtf @ number of standers in the world.

    Sit/F/RB as P4s said. no other way to do the business
    [00:29] <daven> dc, why not check turn behind
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    [00:30] <DC> on my hand?
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    [00:30] <daven> nice reason
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    [00:30] <yaawn> ^^Lol

    Problem officer...?
  10. #235
    Quote Originally Posted by BooG690 View Post
    So you're on the toilet while doing this? WHAT THE FUCK?

    And what's with this leaning to one side and reaching under? That's gross...
    Apparently everything about the way I wipe my ass is gross to you lol. (as it should be)
  11. #236
    Every time I see this thread title, my very first thought is "WTF, standing". That's even before a little internal LOL (or is that a LI - Laugh Inside).
  12. #237
    possibly veering off the greatness that is this thread but -

    in some European countries you can't flush the used loo roll (or shit paper as I like to call it) down the loo, but instead put it in a bin next to the toilet.

    This is mostly in hot countries like Greece, Spain etc. So the shitty paper then heats up. And the whole country smells of shit.

    In Turkey they don't even use loo roll. Instead there is little tap (faucet) on the rim of toilet that squirts water up your dirty hole and you clean with your hand. Thats why you eat with your left, wipe with your right or vice versa. Wrong.
    Normski
  13. #238
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    I have been to greece and turkey on several occasions and I can't confirm any of that. In some places in the south they have those weired toilets that have no seat. You just squat down on them. But you can flush paper down it... obviously. If an adult size turd can pass through it, so can TP, even if you crumble half the roll.
    In countries where it's common to wash your ass, you obviously don't do it with your bare hand. And when you think of it, if anything it's more hygienic than a dry wipe.
    if you get shit anywhere else on your body you wouldn't be content with just wiping it a couple of times with a dry paper towel.
    Last edited by oskar; 05-11-2010 at 05:42 PM.
  14. #239
    Quote Originally Posted by oskar View Post
    If an adult size turd can...[smackdown, edited for length]
    Why you gotta make me think about children pooping
  15. #240
    oskar's Avatar
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    Now I'm thinking of children pooping! WTF dude!



    did some research 4 u gaiz:
    YouTube - How to use a bidet/douchette.

  16. #241
    BooG690's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by oskar View Post
    if you get shit anywhere else on your body you wouldn't be content with just wiping it a couple of times with a dry paper towel.
    This made me LOL.
    That's how winners play; we convince the other guy he's making all the right moves.
  17. #242
    It's so true though lol. I'm not gonna lie, if I ever have a really messy shit, I've been known to wipe a couple times, then wet down the TP the next couple wipes then dry off with dry TP again lol. I've never heard of anyone else doing this though.
  18. #243
    BooG690's Avatar
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    Baby wipes. You'll never go back to TP again.
  19. #244
    Lol - heard some guy on the radio. He was at mates house and went for a dump. Noticed they had wet wipes so thought he'd enjoy a "posh" wipe. Turned out they were Flash Wipes......

    and seriously about bits of Europe - I was in Crete last year and no loo roll was to be flushed down the toilet. Prob not in the major cities, but anywhere a bit rural and that smell of shizzle ain't the olive trees.
    Normski
  20. #245
    Def sit. I tried standing this morning due to this thread and it was awkward...couldn't get the right leverage
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  21. #246
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    In Cyprus I've come aqccross the no flushing bog roll rule, but I just figured wtf I'm not gonna have to unclog it.
    I'm the king of bongo, baby I'm the king of bongo bong.
  22. #247
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    From the reddi thread......

    Okay, there seems to be quite a bit of detail for sitters here, I'll go into detail for the standers like myself.
    When done expelling fecal matter I gather toilet paper while still seated (as for another question I am a folder not a "wader") I then stand. Nearly at full attention. As I leave the bowl I have my left hand on my left buttcheek which is spreading the cheeks to keep shit from being squished between the two. I then wipe with my right hand. The first wipe is usually quite a hearty one. It gets the most of the residue. I then release my left cheek to fold the toilet paper and repeat. 2-4 wipes later I am clean. I also use "wet ones/baby wipes/etc" for assurance after the normal wiping and to feel extra clean.

    Is this what you standing freaks do?



    On a side note, the reddit thred contains surprisingly similar content to ours.
    I'm the king of bongo, baby I'm the king of bongo bong.
  23. #248
    BooG690's Avatar
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    Ew. I don't stand at full attention. I squat a bit to get some cheek spreading action.
    That's how winners play; we convince the other guy he's making all the right moves.
  24. #249
  25. #250
    Quote Originally Posted by kiwiMark View Post
    Why you gotta make me think about children pooping
    C'mon. You weren't that far from thinking about it anyway.
  26. #251
    flomo's Avatar
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    ***true story*** <-shit means it is OFFICAL momofuku

    my lifestyle has changed and i have gained 25 pounds in the last 2 years. last week while doing my usual lean to the left sitting wipe i cracked the wooden toilet seat. standing maybe in my future, back to being 3 years old.

    for those that like children pooping, they cann only stand while wiping unless they have a fat american ass.
  27. #252
    a500lbgorilla's Avatar
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    Wooden toilet seat? Is this 1776?
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  28. #253
    On closer analysis (anal-ysis) I've actually determined that I'm a combo sitter-stander, sitting for the initial mud removal and standing for the final clean-up. 100% TP scruncher though.
  29. #254
    fold or the inevitable disaster is inevitable.
  30. #255
    i find the high number of stand-wipers highly disturbing. stand-wiping isn't something i even knew existed on this earth. i don't even think i did that when i was 3. a real eye-opener.
  31. #256
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    Ha, I thought of this thread today. I was taking a dump, ran outta toilet paper and had to walk to the cabinet. Thought to myself "who would stand up and try and wipe their ass? LOL".
    3 3 3 I'm only half evil.
  32. #257
    but the question is, after retrieving the toilet paper, did you then sit back down to wipe? If so, why?
  33. #258
    Wooden toilet seat. Ha. O flomo.
  34. #259
    oskar's Avatar
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    ^^
    Once you've tried it you never go back.

    My grandmother used to have one that was covered with fur due to horrible architecture which dedmanded you leave the house and then re-enter through another door to access the toilet which had no heating.

    You'd think it would be messy, but it wasn't.
    Last edited by oskar; 12-31-2011 at 11:06 PM.
    The strengh of a hero is defined by the weakness of his villains.
  35. #260
    It wont get messy same as putting TP on the seat won't do anything for hygiene. Your ass hole doesn't sit on the seat, just your fat ass. The hole is usually somewhere over the middle of the opening.

    Now if you don't lift the seat to stand and pee then we may have another issue.
  36. #261
    Quote Originally Posted by oskar View Post
    ^^
    Once you've tried it you never go back.

    My grandmother used to have one that was covered with fur due to horrible architecture which dedmanded you leave the house and then re-enter through another door to access the toilet which had no heating.

    You'd think it would be messy, but it wasn't.
    I don't even want to know what you're talking about. It's just very old school on this side of the pond.
  37. #262
    Quote Originally Posted by jyms View Post
    It wont get messy same as putting TP on the seat won't do anything for hygiene. Your ass hole doesn't sit on the seat, just your fat ass. The hole is usually somewhere over the middle of the opening.

    Now if you don't lift the seat to stand and pee then we may have another issue.
    uh, no. While your asshole does not come in direct contact with the seat, the seat itself can get very dirty. There is always the danger of a splash, and in the case of the squirts, the splash is especially gross. Depending on the color of the fur, you might never see the poo droplets.
  38. #263
    oh god furry toilet seats. anything furry/carpet/shitpisssponge anywhere near the toilet makes me feel very unwell.
  39. #264
    apropos i spent xmas at gf's gramma's place (this is in germany) where they have a carpeted bathroom also with the furry toilet covering (only the lid, not on the seat at least) where the carpet probably hasn't been replaced in decades.

  40. #265
    yeah I don't get people that put the weird like sheep skin mats directly in front of their toilet. Sure it's probably warmer if you're standing there taking a piss but also no matter how clean it is I always think I'm standing on a piss infested rug
  41. #266
    I'm a stander. I like to look at what I have acheived, I like to see if it floats or sinks, and sometimes I have an extra wipe even when I'm clean, because it feels nice. Don't pretend you've never done it, don't pretend you haven't had a good wipe and thought "ooh that was nice", it's ok, it doesn't make you gay, it just makes you weird.

    Do you people wipe from the ballsack backwards or start from the back and wipe towards the ballsack? Also, do you moisten the paper when it's a messy one?

    One more question... does anyone refuse to have a shit while at home, so they can take a ten minute break at work and get paid for having a shit? Guilty as charged.
    Last edited by OngBonga; 01-08-2012 at 12:31 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  42. #267
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    Quote Originally Posted by OngBonga View Post
    One more question... does anyone refuse to have a shit while at home, so they can take a ten minute break at work and get paid for having a shit? Guilty as charged.
    while it is nice to get paid to take a shit, its much better to shower immediately afterwards. shits at work are only for days when i have thai food for lunch.
    eeevees are not monies yet...they are like baby monies.
  43. #268
    Shower after a shit, you must have a steady girlfriend.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  44. #269
    pantherhound's Avatar
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    I always have at least two dumps at work. I'm not regular, but the morning deuce just before 9am is an enjoyable fixture when it's on.
    except when there was curry the night before!
  45. #270
    I make it a point to shit at work. I have 3 bathrooms at my house, yet with 2 kids and a wife I can never get left alone long enough to have a good shit. At least at the office I have my own private bathroom where I'm never bothered and I can take as long as I want.
  46. #271
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    Quote Originally Posted by OngBonga View Post
    I'm a stander. I like to look at what I have acheived
    I remember in junior high some kid went around asking, "Do you look before you wipe?" like it was the funniest thing in the world. As a stander at the time it made absolutely no sense because I would think how the hell could you not look?

    But now that I'm a sitter I have no clue what my shits look like because that would take more effort.


    Quote Originally Posted by sauce123
    I don't get why you insist on stacking off with like jack high all the time.
  47. #272
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    I was just having my morning deuce at work, and there are only two cubicles. Some douche comes charging into the one next to me. Seriously, wtf. There are three floors and six cubicles to choose from at 8:50 on a Monday morning. Toilet etiquette much?

    It's not like there was any hesitation either, he could see the one next to it was occupied as soon as he walked in, just the sound of restroom door opening and stampede for the cubicle in one uninterrupted motion.
  48. #273
    I worked in a hostel here making beds and cleaning the toilets for like six weeks. Fun fact: The toilet closest to the door in the guy's bathrooms is always the most disgusting. The toilet closest to the door in the girl's bathrooms is nearly always unused.
  49. #274
    I have a mat in front of the toilet, it gets changed twice a week. I don't see the problem with this.

    I consciously try to avoid shitting at work - at a ratio of roughly 1 cubicle per 18 employees it's just not worth it. Plus the toilet paper feels too cheap and flimsy.
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  50. #275
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    This thread is very shitty
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  51. #276
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    Quote Originally Posted by bigred View Post
    This thread is very shitty
    Asswipe.


    Quote Originally Posted by sauce123
    I don't get why you insist on stacking off with like jack high all the time.
  52. #277
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    This thread is nothing but toilet humor.

    Also standing is still superior.
  53. #278
    I tried sitting while wiping and you know what? You guys who sit while you wipe are fucking weird.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  54. #279
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    Honestly, im a stander out of fear. What if i touch the water??? EWWW
  55. #280
    on these fucking european showcase toilets where the toilet is backwards so the water is at the front and your poo sits on a raised dry bit at the back, I have to courtesy flush every time for fear of touching the pile with my hand when I wipe.

  56. #281
    How high is the water in your toilet? I'd have to try to touch the water in any toilet I've ever used.

    On another note, I found this through StumbleUpon today, with lots of interesting poop facts. According to his survey, nobody stands while wiping.
    This proves that 40% of FTR are full of shit.
    Scoop on Poop
  57. #282
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    I'm just surprised we got 150 people to answer a poll on this site that didn't involve freerolls
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  58. #283
    Standers are fat, have fat parents that taught the horrible practice of standing or are part of the 1% and have people who clean up the resultant shit spray.

    Standing wrecks lives. I'm going to start a campaign against the ridiculousness that is standing. People will wear brown ribbons that I sell for $3 per.
  59. #284
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    When shit spray is gonna happen, i wipe sitting down obviously. Thats like, <1% of poops though. If sitters spray shit every time they poop then they poop wrong and need to see a doctor.
  60. #285
    sitters are risking touching the seat with their hands and/or getting their hands bit by toilet snakes! ewwwwwww
  61. #286
    Quote Originally Posted by JKDS View Post
    When shit spray is gonna happen, i wipe sitting down obviously. Thats like, <1% of poops though. If sitters spray shit every time they poop then they poop wrong and need to see a doctor.
    I'm just assuming that standers must shit bad if they can't do things the right way.
  62. #287
    Quote Originally Posted by Hawk View Post
    How high is the water in your toilet? I'd have to try to touch the water in any toilet I've ever used.
    The water isn't high at all, there's a shelf that is way higher than the water. I'm talking about risking touching the steaming fresh pile sitting on the shelf (see pic, in pic there's a little bit of water on the shelf in the middle, but that's just a pool left from the last time someone flushed.). It just sits there so you can discuss it with the kids before pressing the flush button which pushes it into the hole with water, often enough leaving a smear on the shelf that you have to clean up.
  63. #288
    Aaaand checking FTR in bed while waking up turns out to be a mistake again. See now your reply was @ JKDS.
  64. #289
    Quote Originally Posted by kiwiMark View Post
    The water isn't high at all, there's a shelf that is way higher than the water. I'm talking about risking touching the steaming fresh pile sitting on the shelf (see pic, in pic there's a little bit of water on the shelf in the middle, but that's just a pool left from the last time someone flushed.). It just sits there so you can discuss it with the kids before pressing the flush button which pushes it into the hole with water, often enough leaving a smear on the shelf that you have to clean up.
    Submersion is key to odor control. If the poo just sits on a shelf in the air, it is going to funk up the whole damn house. You need the water to create a smell barrier. This is poo 101. What is wrong with the Eurolanders?
  65. #290
    rong's Avatar
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    My toilet does not have a shelf. Who the fuck invented a toilet with a shelf? Why would you buy one?
    I'm the king of bongo, baby I'm the king of bongo bong.
  66. #291
    ya "classic" style german toilets have the shelf showcase thing happening with 0 odour control, weird. thankfully my toilet is the other way around. this backwards shelf thing is only useful if say you smuggled gold by eating it and need to examine your shit for gold nuggets.
  67. #292
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    Quote Originally Posted by eugmac View Post
    ya "classic" style german toilets have the shelf showcase thing happening with 0 odour control, weird. thankfully my toilet is the other way around. this backwards shelf thing is only useful if say you smuggled gold by eating it and need to examine your shit for gold nuggets.
    drug mules tho
    eeevees are not monies yet...they are like baby monies.
  68. #293
    Quote Originally Posted by kiwiMark View Post
    The water isn't high at all, there's a shelf that is way higher than the water. I'm talking about risking touching the steaming fresh pile sitting on the shelf (see pic, in pic there's a little bit of water on the shelf in the middle, but that's just a pool left from the last time someone flushed.). It just sits there so you can discuss it with the kids before pressing the flush button which pushes it into the hole with water, often enough leaving a smear on the shelf that you have to clean up.
    Sounds like you need to sit on the toilet backwards. Daniel Tosh - Reverse Toilet - Video Clip | Comedy Centrals Jokes.com
  69. #294
    mrhappy333's Avatar
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    What activity/interest do you have to put in to get a scoop on poop website to come up?
    Quote Originally Posted by Hawk View Post
    How high is the water in your toilet? I'd have to try to touch the water in any toilet I've ever used.

    On another note, I found this through StumbleUpon today, with lots of interesting poop facts. According to his survey, nobody stands while wiping.
    This proves that 40% of FTR are full of shit.
    Scoop on Poop
    3 3 3 I'm only half evil.
  70. #295
    Quote Originally Posted by mrhappy333 View Post
    What activity/interest do you have to put in to get a scoop on poop website to come up?
    This made me laugh.

    I don't know what specific interest this would be categorized in, but I do tend to thumbs up a lot of these types of pages that are full of oddball facts.
  71. #296
    Apart from the obvious utility for gold and drug smuggling, I will also mention another advantage that since there's no water to speak of to splash your poo into, there is no backsplash mini-bidet effect either, which does happen to be one of my pet peeves. In a splashy toilet I always line the water with a thin layer of toilet paper in an effort (usually in vain) to reduce the splashback.
  72. #297
    Good splashback gives me a sense of pride, I can't wait to see the size of that fucker.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  73. #298
    depends on the vector of entry. very long well formed logs going in head-first splash little, like a good olympic diver, whereas the little pebble shits you get when you're not getting enough fibre tend to be more akin to little kids doing cannonballs.
  74. #299
    Pointy ones with good aeorodynamics make little splashback, big round ones that hurt on their way out are like a fat bastard belly flopping into a swimming pool. They're the ones that get me. I'm usually euphoric after passing such a beauty, like surviving a car crash. They usually arise after I've been at a festival on a four day diet of beer, meat, bread and psychadelics.
    The pebbly ones aren't so bad, the splash they create are like an anal bog water kiss.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  75. #300
    There are some parasites, such as pinworms, who depend on people eating their own poop to keep the population up. Pinworms are small nematodes that live in the colon. The females emerge from the anus at night to lay their eggs. Their activity makes the anal area itch. The person scratches the itch (often doing so in his sleep), procuring a small amount of fecal matter and eggs under his fingernails, and then puts his fingers in his mouth. Once the eggs are consumed, the person is infected with a new generation of pinworms.
    I have read that almost everyone has pinworms. Luckily, pinworms don't do much harm. You only notice them if you have a lot of pinworms! If you want to find out if you do indeed have them, get someone to gently touch around your anal area with Scotch tape while you are sleeping. The worms will stick to the tape and you'll be able to see them.
    oh...

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