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  1. #1
    CoccoBill's Avatar
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    Default *** The Chess Thread ***

    Right, so, I haven't exactly been beating the world, but I think I've been doing ok. I've had some slumps but up to 1155 ELo right now after a bit over a 100 games. The games against 1000-1200 are quite different than against 800-1000, most of the time people aren't complete idiots, more of a hit and miss. I do get challenging games occasionally, and 2-3 times I've just felt outplayed the whole game, beginning to end. My winrate is still over 75% all-time, so I think I still got some climbing to do on the ranks. I've watched a whole bunch of videos and read up on openings, the sicilian is still off-limits but I've had good success with the vienna and dutch. I expected to be done with this shit by now being completely bored and burnt out, but instead I feel like I'm enjoying it more than ever. Been having some great battles and back and forth games, it still amazes me that playing 4-5 semi-reasonable moves from the opening can get you completely out of theorized territory. Wild.
    Our brains have just one scale, and we resize our experiences to fit.

  2. #2
    This is awesome, glad you're enjoying chess. And yeah it still amazes me that within as few as like ten moves or fewer we're often in completely uncharted territory. Chess is wonderful like that, it's truly unique.

    I'm off to meet Mojo and his partner soon. They're in sunny England. And it actually is sunny.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  3. #3
    Chess is great for building your ability to focus and concentrate.



    Quote Originally Posted by OngBonga View Post

    I'm off to meet Mojo and his partner soon. They're in sunny England. And it actually is sunny.
    He's literally going to the sunlit uplands lol.
    I just think we should suspend judgment on Boris until we have all the facts through an inquiry, police investigation, and parliamentary commission...then we should explode him.
    also,
    I'd like to be called Lord Poopy His Most Gloriously Excellent.
  4. #4
    I've watched some Magnus C videos on YouTube recently. The only problem is I have no idea what's going on. I wonder if that's what it's like for beginners trying to get into poker now: when I started out, the hand rankings would be shown and the commentary would be simple.

    Does anybody have any recommendations for beginner stuff? I know what pieces can move where and what check and mate are, but that's about it.
  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by The Bean Counter View Post
    I've watched some Magnus C videos on YouTube recently. The only problem is I have no idea what's going on. I wonder if that's what it's like for beginners trying to get into poker now: when I started out, the hand rankings would be shown and the commentary would be simple.

    Does anybody have any recommendations for beginner stuff? I know what pieces can move where and what check and mate are, but that's about it.
    Euwe's book "The road to chess mastery," was really helpful when I was learning the game. Really dumbed things down and explained what all the moves were trying to accomplish. A bit dated now, but I reckon still a v. good book for beginners.
    I just think we should suspend judgment on Boris until we have all the facts through an inquiry, police investigation, and parliamentary commission...then we should explode him.
    also,
    I'd like to be called Lord Poopy His Most Gloriously Excellent.
  6. #6
    CoccoBill's Avatar
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    Sometimes I really hate this game. Playing white, guess who ate the queen without thinking?
    Our brains have just one scale, and we resize our experiences to fit.

  7. #7
    CoccoBill's Avatar
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    Thanks for the book tip btw poop.
    Our brains have just one scale, and we resize our experiences to fit.

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by CoccoBill View Post

    Sometimes I really hate this game. Playing white, guess who ate the queen without thinking?
    I'm not seeing it. I mean I see QxQ and then the knight fork, but I don't see what better option you have.



    Quote Originally Posted by CoccoBill View Post

    thanks for the book tip
    yw
    I just think we should suspend judgment on Boris until we have all the facts through an inquiry, police investigation, and parliamentary commission...then we should explode him.
    also,
    I'd like to be called Lord Poopy His Most Gloriously Excellent.
  9. #9
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    1. Rc8+ Kg7 (forced)
    2. Qxd4+ Kh7 (forced)
    3. Qxh8#

    Mate in 3, which I found 10secs after playing that move first thing in the morning in bed. "Ooh free queen!"
    Our brains have just one scale, and we resize our experiences to fit.

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by CoccoBill View Post
    1. Rc8+ Kg7 (forced)
    2. Qxd4+ Kh7 (forced)
    3. Qxh8#

    Mate in 3, which I found 10secs after playing that move first thing in the morning in bed. "Ooh free queen!"
    Oh yeah, good eye.
    I just think we should suspend judgment on Boris until we have all the facts through an inquiry, police investigation, and parliamentary commission...then we should explode him.
    also,
    I'd like to be called Lord Poopy His Most Gloriously Excellent.
  11. #11
    I didn't see mate in three but I saw after Rc8+ we're then grabbing the queen with check, stopping him reclaiming it with the fork. That's enough to win, and probably I find a mating pattern if I look for more than two seconds.

    Lesson of the day is... if someone offers you the queen for "nothing", take some time to ask why he made that move. Was it really a blunder? Well in this case yes it was, but you replied with a worse blunder.

    It's an interesting position for black, he's a piece up but he's not comfortably winning. His Qd4 was a blunder, but it's hard to find a good move for him instead though despite his advantage. He has big problems along the a1-h8 diagonal, but presumably with perfect play black can give up the rook for the bishop and maintain a marginal winning endgame advantage. Maybe white can force a draw though, idk.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  12. #12
    CoccoBill's Avatar
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    For context he grabbed my knight from there with the Q, which had just taken his bishop. I ended up losing, he managed to grab my rook. That was a fun game though, we both were very open and aggressive. I feel tactics is definitely my strength, as long as I have the patience to look for obvious blunders (I blunder way too much). I feel like I have strong openings, I pretty much know how to not immediately collapse against any opening, but obviously haven't faced any strong opponents. Midgame I'm ok, most games I lose are in the endgame, guess I should do some endgame studying. I strongly dislike London, Stonewall and other boring openings, and why the heck is everybody suddenly playing nimzo-larsen?
    Our brains have just one scale, and we resize our experiences to fit.

  13. #13
    Ah, he played Qxd4, that makes more sense. In which case he probably played his best move. He has better moves in theory but this is a special kind of "bad" move, one that has poison. It's a trap, and it's probably all he has to give him a chance of winning. White's position with a knight on d4 is surely far superior to black's, even though white is only up a pawn. Probably something passive is black's best move rather than Qxd4, something lame like Qd8, but that's just a slow and painful death. There is a lesson here and that is if your position is getting hopeless, finding these kind of bad moves can turn a loss into a win. Black did well here.

    edit - oops, his knight is hanging, so his "best" move is surely just Nd5, which doesn't defend against Rc8, forcing the king to g7, which is along the diagonal with the queen and rook. White is winning rook for bishop at least. Qxd4 was definitely the way to go here. Either you take the queen or he resigns.
    Last edited by OngBonga; 05-27-2023 at 03:17 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  14. #14
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    Yeah his hanging knight is what I was going for, defending with my Q the king-rook fork. His queen offer took me off-guard. Just noticed that the other guy was rated 1300 in daily, but 1900 in rapid and blitz. I'm hesitant to even try those quick ones, I screw up enough already with all the time in the world.
    Our brains have just one scale, and we resize our experiences to fit.

  15. #15
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    Then again on other days I love this game. I'm white, just pushed his queen there from d4 with Rd1.
    Our brains have just one scale, and we resize our experiences to fit.

  16. #16
    Presumably after Kb8 it's Bxc7+ to win the queen.

    His queen doesn't have a better square. The losing blunder was whatever he played last move, allowing Rd1. His queen on d4 is trapped.
    Last edited by OngBonga; 05-27-2023 at 05:27 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  17. #17
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    Yeah he can't block and moving the king loses the queen. He resigned after I grabbed his queen. Stockfish thinks he was +2.2 before the Rd1.

    I also joined some chess.com league tournament for the first time, and I'm paired with a 1600 for 2 games. I don't think this is gonna end well.
    Our brains have just one scale, and we resize our experiences to fit.

  18. #18
    Quote Originally Posted by CoccoBill View Post
    Yeah he can't block and moving the king loses the queen. He resigned after I grabbed his queen. Stockfish thinks he was +2.2 before the Rd1.

    I also joined some chess.com league tournament for the first time, and I'm paired with a 1600 for 2 games. I don't think this is gonna end well.
    Your Q was on f3 when you moved your R to d1. He could have gone QxQ, forcing the exchange of rooks as well, then Bxp and start pushing the Q side pawns. Should have been a fairly easy win for him.
    I just think we should suspend judgment on Boris until we have all the facts through an inquiry, police investigation, and parliamentary commission...then we should explode him.
    also,
    I'd like to be called Lord Poopy His Most Gloriously Excellent.
  19. #19
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    His Q was in d4, mine in f3, there's no Q takes Q. I guess he had some vague idea about a queen cannon to g1 but that obviously doesn't work, in d4 he's at least threatening my f1 rook. I expected him to move Qa4 to still control the d7 square and have ideas about dislodging the c3 pawn. That open diagonal allowing me to check was his downfall. I spent a lot of time figuring out how to cannon my Q to c7 after Bg3 since that's mate, but couldn't figure out a way to do it safely.
    Our brains have just one scale, and we resize our experiences to fit.

  20. #20
    Quote Originally Posted by CoccoBill View Post
    His Q was in d4, mine in f3, there's no Q takes Q. I guess he had some vague idea about a queen cannon to g1 but that obviously doesn't work, in d4 he's at least threatening my f1 rook. I expected him to move Qa4 to still control the d7 square and have ideas about dislodging the c3 pawn. That open diagonal allowing me to check was his downfall. I spent a lot of time figuring out how to cannon my Q to c7 after Bg3 since that's mate, but couldn't figure out a way to do it safely.
    Sorry my bad. Yeah d4 is an ugly spot for his Q.
    I just think we should suspend judgment on Boris until we have all the facts through an inquiry, police investigation, and parliamentary commission...then we should explode him.
    also,
    I'd like to be called Lord Poopy His Most Gloriously Excellent.
  21. #21
    a4 is probably the only move for his Q, since your treat of Qg4 is somewhat neutralized.

    He should be looking to exchange pieces now though since he's got a 4-2 pawn majority on the Q-side.

    While your Q-side pawns are weak, trying to pick them off while all the heavy pieces are still around shouldn't be a priority imo. Sure take them if you safely can, but better to simplify and get to the endgame.

    Mating threats like Qd4 are kinda pointless, with your two rooks on your back rank and since Rd1 just ends the threat right there.
    I just think we should suspend judgment on Boris until we have all the facts through an inquiry, police investigation, and parliamentary commission...then we should explode him.
    also,
    I'd like to be called Lord Poopy His Most Gloriously Excellent.
  22. #22
    I didn't notice Qa4 helps to defend, black can now block the check. I think it's good enough to hold with perfect play but white is clearly the one attacking.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  23. #23
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  24. #24
    Chess is less stressful than poker. No luck means no variance. If there's a dip it's either because you're playing worse than average or playing better opponents, it's not due to runbad.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  25. #25
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    Very true, but that also means you can't use variance as an excuse when you screw up, that's annoying.
    Our brains have just one scale, and we resize our experiences to fit.

  26. #26
    There are still plenty of viable excuses. Tiredness is my favourite, if I'm clearly not tired then too stoned, lack of tea, hungry, need fresh air, headache, I can pull an excuse out of my arse no worries, I don't need to blame bad luck.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  27. #27
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    1337 ELO. He's made it to leet level, boys.
    Congratulations!

    @ong
    You can find any pattern you want to any level of precision you want, if you're prepared to ignore enough data.
  28. #28
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    Btw is it just me, or after getting deeper into a game does anyone start, I wouldn't say seeing, but somehow visioning the board as having distinct shapes and features? Like if a pawn structure has been stuck in place for a while, I start "seeing" them as walls and open files as corridors or roads.
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  29. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by MadMojoMonkey View Post
    1337 ELO. He's made it to leet level, boys.
    Congratulations!
    Thanks, that's indeed exactly why I posted it!
    Our brains have just one scale, and we resize our experiences to fit.

  30. #30
    Quote Originally Posted by CoccoBill View Post
    Btw is it just me, or after getting deeper into a game does anyone start, I wouldn't say seeing, but somehow visioning the board as having distinct shapes and features? Like if a pawn structure has been stuck in place for a while, I start "seeing" them as walls and open files as corridors or roads.
    Grandmaster in the making.
    I just think we should suspend judgment on Boris until we have all the facts through an inquiry, police investigation, and parliamentary commission...then we should explode him.
    also,
    I'd like to be called Lord Poopy His Most Gloriously Excellent.
  31. #31
    Quote Originally Posted by CoccoBill View Post
    Very true, but that also means you can't use variance as an excuse when you screw up, that's annoying.
    The thing I struggle with in poker is recognising the difference between bad luck and bad play. Just seeing how much all-in EV tends to differ from winrate on a daily basis is disturbing (at least in PLO, might not be that bad in NL).

    Even then, you can play perfectly and lose a shitload, while someone at the same table can make what are objectively huge mistakes and still win, at least in the short term.
    I just think we should suspend judgment on Boris until we have all the facts through an inquiry, police investigation, and parliamentary commission...then we should explode him.
    also,
    I'd like to be called Lord Poopy His Most Gloriously Excellent.
  32. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by Poopadoop View Post
    The thing I struggle with in poker is recognising the difference between bad luck and bad play. Just seeing how much all-in EV tends to differ from winrate on a daily basis is disturbing (at least in PLO, might not be that bad in NL).

    Even then, you can play perfectly and lose a shitload, while someone at the same table can make what are objectively huge mistakes and still win, at least in the short term.
    You need to embrace it, the variance is exactly the reason poker can be so profitable. If the fish always got punished for their mistakes, they'd stop coming back.
    Our brains have just one scale, and we resize our experiences to fit.

  33. #33
    Quote Originally Posted by CoccoBill View Post
    You need to embrace it, the variance is exactly the reason poker can be so profitable. If the fish always got punished for their mistakes, they'd stop coming back.
    I understand that. What I mean is I'm constantly tinkering around the edges of my game and wondering if it's making it better or worse. And in the short-term there's no way of knowing (unless you study a solver for hours, which I don't have time to do).
    I just think we should suspend judgment on Boris until we have all the facts through an inquiry, police investigation, and parliamentary commission...then we should explode him.
    also,
    I'd like to be called Lord Poopy His Most Gloriously Excellent.
  34. #34
    Unless you're playing people at your level there's not really much point spending large amounts of time trying to squeeze an extra couple of % edge. Better to just play against much weaker opponents where your lazy B-game is sufficient.

    Variance is much easier to embrace when you're properly rolled and disciplined. It's not so easy to embrace when you're creaming off some of your profit, and that was always my problem. I could make money at poker, I could just never accumulate it. So variance would always come and bite me in the end.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  35. #35
    Yeah, but I'm not satisfied winning a bit playing my B game against whales. I want to kick the crap out of the regs too, and keep moving up.

    My tilt control has gotten a lot better in recent years. I still get the red mist now and then but I'm much better at stopping when it happens and taking a break instead of going apeshit and spazzing off a few stacks.

    Anyways, sorry to hijack your thread Cocosparov. Here's a chess puzzle for you:



    White to mate in four.

    I just think we should suspend judgment on Boris until we have all the facts through an inquiry, police investigation, and parliamentary commission...then we should explode him.
    also,
    I'd like to be called Lord Poopy His Most Gloriously Excellent.
  36. #36
    Just a five minute glance but my first instinct is Nd6 or Ne5. I think we can allow Qxd8+, I'll need a proper look to see if we can allow Qxa8 and axb1=Q. The point of Nd6 or Ne5 is to cut off the queen and bishop. Ne5 looks best at the minute because it's clear the knight can't be captured, and after Qxd8+ we can simply sidestep to g7 and he can't check us again without giving up the queen. I think that's ok for MI4. axb1=Q is awkward though, maybe after Qxb1 the threat of Qd3+ is enough for a quick mate.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  37. #37
    Quote Originally Posted by OngBonga View Post
    Just a five minute glance but my first instinct is Nd6 or Ne5. I think we can allow Qxd8+, I'll need a proper look to see if we can allow Qxa8 and axb1=Q. The point of Nd6 or Ne5 is to cut off the queen and bishop. Ne5 looks best at the minute because it's clear the knight can't be captured, and after Qxd8+ we can simply sidestep to g7 and he can't check us again without giving up the queen. I think that's ok for MI4. axb1=Q is awkward though, maybe after Qxb1 the threat of Qd3+ is enough for a quick mate.
    If Ne5, why not QxN?

    Also, if the Nf7moves, QxB and Qg8ch sacs the Q but still costs white two moves. No mate in 4 after that methinks.

    I'm thinking the first move has to be Na4ch, then Kd3 (forced), then either Qc3 ch or Nxp ch, but can't really see the finale.
    I just think we should suspend judgment on Boris until we have all the facts through an inquiry, police investigation, and parliamentary commission...then we should explode him.
    also,
    I'd like to be called Lord Poopy His Most Gloriously Excellent.
  38. #38
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    Not hijacking, intended content!

    Took a while to figure out which direction the pieces are moving heh, what the actual is white's king doing on black's back rank.
    Anyway, I think Nd1 is mate in 5, Nd3 looks worse (if Qxb2+ then Kxd3, if Rxb2 Qxd4+), I feel like sacking the rook Rxf4 and promoting. I'll need to look at this again later.
    Our brains have just one scale, and we resize our experiences to fit.

  39. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Poopadoop View Post
    I'm thinking the first move has to be Na4ch, then Kd3 (forced), then either Qc3 ch or Nxp ch, but can't really see the finale.
    If Na4 then b2, or do I still have the board upside down?
    Our brains have just one scale, and we resize our experiences to fit.

  40. #40
    Quote Originally Posted by CoccoBill View Post
    If Na4 then b2, or do I still have the board upside down?
    White is on the bottom. Yeah I didn't see b2. Makes me want to sac the R, then after QxR, move the N and something something...mate?
    I just think we should suspend judgment on Boris until we have all the facts through an inquiry, police investigation, and parliamentary commission...then we should explode him.
    also,
    I'd like to be called Lord Poopy His Most Gloriously Excellent.
  41. #41
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    I can't find it through Rxf4, there's too many shenanigans black can pull.

    Going back to the beginning, black's K is trapped. The Q is blocking all of the fun, it needs to go. Promoting the pawn looks tempting but that alone is 2 moves, and can't see the d8 bishop doing anything. I don't think it's either of the rooks, and the pawns are all useless. What's left? The a8 bishop? Hrm.

    I think we need to get rid of the black Q and kill with the h4 rook. No idea how though.
    Our brains have just one scale, and we resize our experiences to fit.

  42. #42
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    Wait, what does black do if I just move the K out of the pin?

    Edit: he can only move the Q so Qxa8?

    Edit2: nah it's still like 6+ moves to mate, Q blocks rook etc.
    Last edited by CoccoBill; 06-15-2023 at 09:17 AM.
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  43. #43
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    I think I found it. First I kinda found a mate in 2 but I don't think it's valid, since black isn't forced in any way, just I guess a natural thing to take the pawn?

    a7 Qxa7
    Rxf4#

    Though if black actually wants to stop mate, Q can just go to e5 to keep protecting the f4 bishop, BUT

    1. a7 Qe5
    2. Bxe7 to threaten to promote, Qe7 to block
    3. Bxf6+ Qe5
    4. Rxf4#

    Still not sure if this is it or if I missed something. What a great and terrible puzzle.
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  44. #44
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    Bugger. If 1. a7 Qe5 I'm not sure if it works. I'd still bet the first move is a7 since that's the only way to kick out the Q which seems to be key.
    Our brains have just one scale, and we resize our experiences to fit.

  45. #45
    Quote Originally Posted by Poopadoop View Post
    If Ne5, why not QxN?

    Also, if the Nf7moves, QxB and Qg8ch sacs the Q but still costs white two moves. No mate in 4 after that methinks.

    I'm thinking the first move has to be Na4ch, then Kd3 (forced), then either Qc3 ch or Nxp ch, but can't really see the finale.
    So you don't actually know the solution? Let me have a proper look. After QxN there's a ton of discovered checks, I thought one of them was good for a mating net. I might be wrong though. I'll crack this with an analysis board.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  46. #46
    Quote Originally Posted by CoccoBill View Post
    Bugger. If 1. a7 Qe5 I'm not sure if it works. I'd still bet the first move is a7 since that's the only way to kick out the Q which seems to be key.
    I think you're on the right lines noticing that black's only moves are queen moves, but given that, why do we need to "kick" the queen when simply making a waiting move has the same effect? a7 looks kinda cute but it doesn't do anything that Kg7 doesn't do. If we play Kg7, he still has to move the queen, only we unpinned the bishop too, so I'll be really surprised if it's a7. The move would have to do something other than kick the queen, perhaps stopping the queen going back to b8.

    I don't think Kg7 is the solution because again, Qe5 slows the attack down. I don't think it's either of the knight moves I wanted to try either, I can't make either of them work.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  47. #47
    Quote Originally Posted by OngBonga View Post
    So you don't actually know the solution?
    Nope, just found it and it looked kinda cool.
    I just think we should suspend judgment on Boris until we have all the facts through an inquiry, police investigation, and parliamentary commission...then we should explode him.
    also,
    I'd like to be called Lord Poopy His Most Gloriously Excellent.
  48. #48
    Wait, black doesn't just have queen moves. It's easy to miss but he always has axb1=Q available too.

    I'm pretty sure this is a zugzwang problem, which are the hardest type. We want to play a quiet waiting move that forces black to play a suicidal move.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  49. #49
    I mean if axb1=Q then after Qxb1 we threaten Qd3# to which he has no defence, so it's not really a viable option for black, at least not as an immediate reply to what would seem like the optimal waiting move in Kg7.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  50. #50
    Alright I'm there in 5 but not 4. Solution please, by pm so you don't spoil it for cocco. It's just too complicated given that after we get to play Bxe7 there's now d8=Q+, or even d8=N. I can't crack this without spending the entire fucking night on it.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  51. #51
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    Kg7 is mate in 6 at best I think. Basically any move black takes it's gonna be mate in less than 10 unless you start blundering pieces.

    1. a7 Qe5
    2. Bxe7 Qe7
    3. Bxf6+ Qe5
    4. Rxf4#

    I think that's valid? Also

    1. a7 Qe5
    2. Bxe7 axb1=Q
    3. d8=Q+ Qd5
    4. Qxd5#

    But there's still

    1. a7 Qd6
    2. crap
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  52. #52
    The black Q can't leave the diagonal without check because then RxB mate. But if white allows the Black Q to check, then takes the Q, then Black is only left with pxR(Q) and on the next move it's stalemate.

    White can remove the checking possibility by 1. Kg7

    then if black plays 1... pxR(Q), 2. QxQ and it's mate in 3


    so black would have to play 1... either Qd6 or Qe5 (Qc7 loses after 2. BxQ pxR(Q) then 3. RxB, Qe4, 4. RxQ mate).


    But after Qd6 or Qe5, then what? NxQ opens an escape for the K on e5. Moving the N at b2 opens an escape at d3.


    So how about 2. Bb6. Then either 2...Q (any move along diagonal e5-b8, otherwise RxB mate), 3. d7d8(Q) and if 3...QxQ, 4. RxB mate. If 3...Qd5, 4. QxQ mate.

    Does that work?
    I just think we should suspend judgment on Boris until we have all the facts through an inquiry, police investigation, and parliamentary commission...then we should explode him.
    also,
    I'd like to be called Lord Poopy His Most Gloriously Excellent.
  53. #53
    Also 3... Qd6 (so can't play 4. QxQ because of pxQ), 4. RxB mate.
    I just think we should suspend judgment on Boris until we have all the facts through an inquiry, police investigation, and parliamentary commission...then we should explode him.
    also,
    I'd like to be called Lord Poopy His Most Gloriously Excellent.
  54. #54
    Oh shit. 1...QxBa8. That's a problem.
    I just think we should suspend judgment on Boris until we have all the facts through an inquiry, police investigation, and parliamentary commission...then we should explode him.
    also,
    I'd like to be called Lord Poopy His Most Gloriously Excellent.
  55. #55
    Still haven't got the solution in four but I would just like to point out it's an incredible composition. One of the golden rules of chess puzzle compositions is to ensure the position is technically legal, meaning it can be reached from the starting position via legal means, even if the final position is absurd and never actually happening in a real game, like this one.

    So... consider that white hasn't lost a single piece yet. Black's pawns must all have reached their destination by advancing, not by capturing and moving onto a different file. So black's a2 pawn started on a7.

    Now consider a6 and a7. These pawns must have captured pieces, since they have advanced past black's a2 pawn, which started on a7 and has only moved forwards. Pawns block each other. So both the a-pawns have captured pieces. a-pawn can move to the b-file and back to the a-file, and b-pawn to the a-file. Three captures there.

    Also consider d7 and f5. Both of these pawns must have captured at least one piece in order to reach these squares, since there are pawns on d2 and f2, these haven't moved. If they both captured one piece each, then they are the e2 and g2 pawns. That leaves e6 as the h2 pawn, which must have captured three pieces.

    That's a total of eight captures. Black has lost eight pieces. By playing suicide chess, it's possible to reach this position legally. So kudos to the composer for that.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  56. #56
    Quote Originally Posted by Poopadoop View Post
    Oh shit. 1...QxBa8. That's a problem.
    Ok, here's another try:



    1. Bg2

    then if 1... QxBch, 2. NxB pxR(Q) (only move), 3. RxB ch, Ke5, 4. Nd3 ch (by both Q and N) and mate.


    or if 1... pxR(Q), 2. RxB ch, Qe4, 3. RxQ mate.



    I think that's it?
    Last edited by Poopadoop; 06-16-2023 at 05:30 AM.
    I just think we should suspend judgment on Boris until we have all the facts through an inquiry, police investigation, and parliamentary commission...then we should explode him.
    also,
    I'd like to be called Lord Poopy His Most Gloriously Excellent.
  57. #57
    Quote Originally Posted by Poopadoop View Post
    Ok, here's another try:



    1. Bg2

    then if 1... QxBch, 2. NxB pxR(Q) (only move), 3. RxB ch, Ke5, 4. Nd3 ch (by both Q and N) and mate.


    or if 1... pxR(Q), 2. RxB ch, Qe4, 3. RxQ mate.



    I think that's it?

    Oh wait first line is still a problem because 3... QxR. Edit: Oh no it's not the Q is dead (it's 2 NxQ, not NxB).

    So yeah that might be it after all.
    Last edited by Poopadoop; 06-16-2023 at 05:33 AM.
    I just think we should suspend judgment on Boris until we have all the facts through an inquiry, police investigation, and parliamentary commission...then we should explode him.
    also,
    I'd like to be called Lord Poopy His Most Gloriously Excellent.
  58. #58
    Nope, 1...Qd6, then we're stuck again, can't play RxB.
    I just think we should suspend judgment on Boris until we have all the facts through an inquiry, police investigation, and parliamentary commission...then we should explode him.
    also,
    I'd like to be called Lord Poopy His Most Gloriously Excellent.
  59. #59
    I think we need the white bishop both to mate and to protect c4 in case our Nb2 moves, so I'm starting with 1. Bd5 now.
    I just think we should suspend judgment on Boris until we have all the facts through an inquiry, police investigation, and parliamentary commission...then we should explode him.
    also,
    I'd like to be called Lord Poopy His Most Gloriously Excellent.
  60. #60
    I tried both Bf3 and Bg2 fairly extensively and didn't get anywhere.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  61. #61
    Quote Originally Posted by CoccoBill View Post
    But there's still

    1. a7 Qd6
    2. crap
    2. Re1

    I think 1. a7 is the way to go. What was problematic for me was figuring out what a7 does than Kg7 doesn't, and I found a line where a7 matters.

    1. a7 Qxa8
    2. Rxf4+ Qe4
    3. a8=Q Qxf4
    4. Qd5#

    With that in mind, and with 2. Re1 looking like it does the job after 1... Qd6, I think this is the solution.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  62. #62
    Quote Originally Posted by OngBonga View Post
    2. Re1

    I think 1. a7 is the way to go. What was problematic for me was figuring out what a7 does than Kg7 doesn't, and I found a line where a7 matters.

    1. a7 Qxa8
    2. Rxf4+ Qe4
    3. a8=Q Qxf4
    4. Qd5#

    With that in mind, and with 2. Re1 looking like it does the job after 1... Qd6, I think this is the solution.

    What do you do after 1...Qe5?
    I just think we should suspend judgment on Boris until we have all the facts through an inquiry, police investigation, and parliamentary commission...then we should explode him.
    also,
    I'd like to be called Lord Poopy His Most Gloriously Excellent.
  63. #63
    CoccoBill's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Poopadoop View Post
    What do you do after 1...Qe5?
    2. Bxe7 axb1=Q
    3. d8=Q+ Qd5
    4. Qxd5#

    In my mind the problem is 2. Qd6. What happens after Re1?
    Last edited by CoccoBill; 06-16-2023 at 03:36 PM.
    Our brains have just one scale, and we resize our experiences to fit.

  64. #64
    Quote Originally Posted by CoccoBill View Post
    2. Bxe7 axb1=Q
    3. d8=Q+ Qd5
    4. Qxd5#
    how about 1. a7 QxBch?

    Then 2 NxQ, pxR(Q), 3. QxQ stalemate
    I just think we should suspend judgment on Boris until we have all the facts through an inquiry, police investigation, and parliamentary commission...then we should explode him.
    also,
    I'd like to be called Lord Poopy His Most Gloriously Excellent.
  65. #65
    This puzzle is fucked lol. I wish I remembered where I found it so I could find the answer already.
    I just think we should suspend judgment on Boris until we have all the facts through an inquiry, police investigation, and parliamentary commission...then we should explode him.
    also,
    I'd like to be called Lord Poopy His Most Gloriously Excellent.
  66. #66
    CoccoBill's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Poopadoop View Post
    how about 1. a7 QxBch?

    Then 2 NxQ, pxR(Q), 3. QxQ stalemate
    Nxd8 allows black to Ke5, but

    2. Kg7

    What white wants to do is Rxf4+, but black has nothing to stop it. Maybe 2. axb1=Q? After that

    3. Rxf4+ Qe4
    4. Rxe4#
    Our brains have just one scale, and we resize our experiences to fit.

  67. #67
    CoccoBill's Avatar
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    So so far 3 valid lines from 1. a7 end in M4, does black's 1. Qd6 also? Ong said Re1 but I have no idea what happens there.

    Edit: N/m I'm blind.

    1. a7 Qd6
    2. Re1 Qd5
    3. Rxf4+ Qe4
    4. Rxe4#

    If this isn't it I'm giving up.
    Last edited by CoccoBill; 06-16-2023 at 04:43 PM.
    Our brains have just one scale, and we resize our experiences to fit.

  68. #68
    It's easier to explain Re1 than to list the possible replies. We stop Ke5, and threaten Re4# and Rxe4#. Black can only hold off those threats for two more moves.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  69. #69
    https://timkr.home.xs4all.nl/chess/babstxt.htm

    Found it. You guys are (mostly) right. The nuance is that 1...pxR and the pawn can promote to various pieces, each of which White has to counter in a specific way.

    This puzzle really is farked. I quite enjoyed that.
    I just think we should suspend judgment on Boris until we have all the facts through an inquiry, police investigation, and parliamentary commission...then we should explode him.
    also,
    I'd like to be called Lord Poopy His Most Gloriously Excellent.
  70. #70
    Here's a fun one. Kind easy but spectacular.

    White to move, mate in five.

    Attached Images
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  71. #71
    idk why there's a large image and an attachment, I still have problems posting images on this fucking board.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  72. #72
    idk if this link will work but if it does it'll take you to a nice puzzle board with an analysis option.

    https://gameknot.com/chess-puzzle.pl?pz=221685

    edit - yup, looks fine to me. I am logged in though, I don't think you need to be registered to solve puzzles on their site.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  73. #73
    CoccoBill's Avatar
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    I do puzzles on chess.com, ended up getting the paid version there. Lichess also has a nice free analysis board.

    My main ideas about this one is that we prolly wanna keep checking every move since our king is not in a happy place, if the black Q is allowed to start checking us that's it. That limits the options, only Ne6+ and promoting the e7 pawn.

    Ne6+ allows Kxh7, and I can't find a mate in 5 there. Mate in 6 maybe, but not even sure about that.

    exf8=Q seemed promising, after queen takes we can fork the K and the Q. Still can't find mate in 5.

    I was stuck there for quite a bit until I found e8=N+. My guess is this is some crazy let's-promote-everything-to-knights thing, but I haven't solved it yet.
    Our brains have just one scale, and we resize our experiences to fit.

  74. #74
    Yeah you've got the right idea, it's a knight frenzy. Very much brute force, so it's far from a great puzzle, but the knight party is awesome.

    1. e8=N+ Kxh7 (...Kf7 2. Ne5+ Ke7 3. d8=Q#)
    2. Nef6+ Kg7
    3. Ne6+ Kf7
    4. d8=N+ Ke7
    5. c8=N#
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  75. #75
    CoccoBill's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OngBonga View Post
    Yeah you've got the right idea, it's a knight frenzy. Very much brute force, so it's far from a great puzzle, but the knight party is awesome.

    1. e8=N+ Kxh7 (...Kf7 2. Ne5+ Ke7 3. d8=Q#)
    2. Nef6+ Kg7
    3. Ne6+ Kf7
    4. d8=N+ Ke7
    5. c8=N#
    Heh yeah looked like it's gonna be something silly like that, nice.

    On a completely different note, I've been trying to use premoves as much as I can early on, since chess.com now supports them (called conditional moves). The point being I think it might throw some people off and make them try something suboptimal when I'm anticipating their opening moves. It probably doesn't, but hey can't hurt right.
    Our brains have just one scale, and we resize our experiences to fit.

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