Biggest Dick you have ever seen? heard of?

[bluey]

semen reduces the likely hood of breast cancer.

oh and 2000 seems low.

[mrhappy333]

Average # of times he will ejaculate from masturbation: 2,000

At my rate, I will have this number absolutely destroyed by the day I die.

I've been in college 8 years.
8*365 = 2920 days

Twice every 3 days... I have to be there already

I had a conversation with some friends once (m & f). They said someone had 10,000 sky-diving jumps. We were discussing what we had done 10,000 times and I said "obviously masturbate". Then I did the math and realized I was way wrong, It was more like 8*365*5xaday = 14600

FYP.

[mrhappy333]

Too many calories in semen, obv.

Lots of protien?

[swiggidy]

I had a conversation with some friends once (m & f). They said someone had 10,000 sky-diving jumps. We were discussing what we had done 10,000 times and I said "obviously masturbate". Then I did the math and realized I was way wrong, It was more like 8*365*5xaday = 14600

FYP.

5x is not a sustainable win-rate

[jackvance]

5x is not a sustainable win-rate

It is during exams..

[swiggidy]

Too obvious?

[Miffed22001]

whales eject tonne of semen when ejaculating

no wonder the sea is so damn salty...

[Galapogos]

Just work out more. You'll burn it off

I'm sorry I know Givememyleg quoted this already but I just had to show my appreciation too. Warpe, I'm still laughing.

[givememyleg]

Just work out more. You'll burn it off

I'm sorry I know Givememyleg quoted this already but I just had to show my appreciation too. Warpe, I'm still laughing.

LOL I'll quote it again because I think that might be the best 1-liner I've heard, ever?

[Tycho]

Nice

[Demiparadigm]

http://www.badjojo.com/daily/video.p...6.03.23/04.wmv


Do I win a prize?

[bigred]

http://www.badjojo.com/daily/video.php?var=6.03.23/04.wmv


Do I win a prize?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[Lukie]

http://www.badjojo.com/daily/video.php?var=6.03.23/04.wmv


Do I win a prize?

I folded preflop. You should too.

[mike4066]

I can't believe how long this thread is getting, or that I read the entire thing.

i feel dirty.

[CaptainObviouss]

It was a black man.

18 inches!

[SinkRox]

The "insane cock brothers" ~12 inches. Can anyone confirm if these are real? I say fake but a make reckons real.

If you dont know of the insane cock brothers then get you head out of the sand and into the wounderful world of porn. Oh and search Google images.

[Miffed22001]

http://www.badjojo.com/daily/video.php?var=6.03.23/04.wmv


Do I win a prize?

I used to like you demi, now i dont

[bigred]

I can't believe how long this thread is getting, or that I read the entire thing.

i feel dirty.

[midas06]

[JKDS]

Cool bump bro, but fail bump post

[kiwiMark]

I enjoyed this thread after funny story-time began and up until it became apparent that some of you faggots are actually homophobic.

[Alexos]

sick bump

so isf was gay in 2006? :P

[bigred]

Was?

[ZwiFT]

im wearing a proud 7.1!

[bigred]

My ePenis is 7.1 miles long. That's like 5 billion kilometers for the eurotrash at FTR.

[b-rabbit]

to hijack this post.....i was hanging out with one of my two best friends tonight at a bar.....he was telling me after he got drunk about how him and the other best friend had a foursome with his girlfriend and his sister. two guys vs two sisters........it was a wild story.

i'm glad this thread got bumped so i could see this shout out...

[wufwugy]

Wording of that line means incest for two people

[b-rabbit]

the sisters didn't do anything to each other. the guys didn't do anything to each other.

[bigred]

the sisters didn't do anything to each other. the guys didn't do anything to each other.

but it says his sister...

[a500lbgorilla]

My ePenis is 7.1 miles long. That's like 5 billion kilometers for the eurotrash at FTR.

That can't be true. My ePenis is 5 billion kilometers long and I'll bet I've got you covered.

[silu73]

My dick is so big I have to call him Mr. Dick
My dick is so big I found a settler family going west for greener pastures
My dick is so big it has its own dick

In fact I just pocked my eye with my dick because I saw Wufwugy's signature.

[IowaSkinsFan]

where's the facepalm emoticon?

[CBAT]

The "insane cock brothers" ~12 inches. Can anyone confirm if these are real? I say fake but a make reckons real.

If you dont know of the insane cock brothers then get you head out of the sand and into the wounderful world of porn. Oh and search Google images.

Fake, ldo.

In person, largest I have seen is myself ldo.

[b-rabbit]

but it says his sister...

oh. that is wrong. it was my friends girlfriend and her sister. and me.

[Penneywize]

whyyyyyyyy do we have to bump this thread omfg qwtf?!??!

[Galapogos]

I miss the days of ISFs commune failures.

[Keith]

Originally Posted by bigred
My ePenis is 7.1 miles long. That's like 5 billion kilometers for the eurotrash at FTR.

That can't be true. My ePenis is 5 billion kilometers long and I'll bet I've got you covered.

I'm not even gonna contemplate what Rilla has Bigred covered with.

[surviva316]

My dick is so big it has its own dick

that's not a dick...it's herpes

[wufwugy]

I miss the days of ISFs commune failures.

Commune failure? Next time say that you would have a hard time convicting a man of murder for killing a his wife/gf who cheated on him

[XTR1000]

This forum is six times more interested in other mens penises than in street fighter II.

[givememyleg]

This forum is six times more interested in other mens penises than in street fighter II.

i wouldn't want to be on a forum where it was elsewhere

[JoeHaw]

google > OG Mudbone

[wufwugy]

i wonder how big zangief's dick is

[dranger7070]

There was this kid at boot camp that we called Tubbs cuz he was this big black dude right. He was kinda slow upstairs but a pretty cool dude all around. Well obviously in boot camp/military in general you gotta take showers together. I remember the first time the drill instructors let us shower on own without hurrying us in and out of the head we were all laughing our asses off cuz someone mentioned The Longest Yard where Steve Austin had the huge dick and Adam Sandler was like, 'just don't kill me by hitting me over the head with that hammer.' Fuckin Tubbs' dick was halfway down his leg limp ffs.

[Stacks]

there was this kid at boot camp that we called tubbs cuz he was this big black dude right. He was kinda slow upstairs but a pretty cool dude all around. Well obviously in boot camp/military in general you gotta take showers together. I remember the first time the drill instructors let us shower on own without hurrying us in and out of the head we were all laughing our asses off cuz someone mentioned the longest yard where steve austin had the huge dick and adam sandler was like, 'just don't kill me by hitting me over the head with that hammer.' fuckin tubbs' dick was halfway down his leg limp ffs.


Then he raped me.. And i loved it

fyp

[dranger7070]

Logical fallacy- you can't rape someone who wants it.

[BennyLaRue]

Haha, you wanted it.

[kiwiMark]

Haha, you wanted it.

Bahaha pwnt

[ttwarrior1]

i guess you never heard of mr 18 incher

[dranger7070]

Haha, you wanted it.

Lol I was expecting Stax to say something like this. Nh Benny, nh

[Stacks]

Benny does the pwning for me.

[dranger7070]

Only because you can't do it yourself CUZ YOURE TOO STOOOPIT AND LAZEE

[CBAT]

I thought Goldberg had the huge dick?

[givememyleg]

WHAT THE FUCK DUDE?!?!

haha i was such a little doucher

[lolzzz_321]

annual bump

[Halv]

Hodor in Game of Thrones takes it down this year.

[wufwugy]

[bigred]

haha i was such a little doucher

was?

[Numbr2intheWorld]

annual bump

epic bump

[a500lbgorilla]

epic bump

3-lb rump

[Monty3038]

Sister in law's ex husband... my sister in law even admits it was too much to handle. She admits that is why they were together so long as well... According to her 10 inches and hard to get her hand all the way around.

[Galapogos]

FTR's come so far since this thread's birth. If someone started it now-a-days I don't think anyone would bat an eye. Back then everyone was freaked right out. I always thought of ISF's commune threads being among the worst but now that I look back he was actually ahead of his time.

Also, Warpe trouncing Lukie was a beautiful thing.

Plus, this thread also has one of my favorite FTR exchanges ever: http://www.flopturnriver.com/pokerfo...ml#post1322483

[BennyLaRue]

Sister in law's ex husband... my sister in law even admits it was too much to handle. She admits that is why they were together so long as well... According to her 10 inches and hard to get her hand all the way around.

Tell me about the conversation you were having when this came up. Did she tell you or your wife. I'm most interested in the reaction. I mean, you probably want to sound impressed but not too impressed, amirite? Aloof but not too aloof. Surprised but not salivating.

[profnabeshin]

Penis Facts

Average length of penis when not erect: 3.5 inches
Average length when erect: 5.2 - 6.4 inches
The Longest: 13 inches
The Smallest: 5/8 of an inch
Largest penis in the animal kingdom: 11 feet (blue whale)
Actual amount of semen per ejaculation: 1-2 teaspoons
Average number of times a man will ejaculate in his lifetime: 7,200
Average # of times he will ejaculate from masturbation: 2,000
Average total amount of lifetime ejaculate: 14 gallons
Average speed of ejaculation: 28 miles per hour
Average # of calories in a teaspoon of semen: 7
Most arousing time of day/season for a man: early morning/fall
Best ways to improve sexual function: quit smoking, start exercising, lose weight
Percent of men who say they masturbate: 60%
Percent of men who say they masturbate at least once a day: 54%
Percent of men who say they feel guilty masturbating that often: 41%
Amount of time needed for a man to regain erection: from 2 min to 2 weeks
Average # of erections per day for a man: 11
Average # of erections during the night: 9
Sperm life: 2 1/2 months (from development to ejaculation)
Thickness of the average condom: .07 mm
Thickness of super-thin condoms: .05 mm
Speed at which erotic sensations travel from skin to brain 156 miles per hour
There are approximately 5 calories in a teaspoon of semen.
All penises bend slightly to the left or right — there is no perfectly straight penis.
Odors that increase blood flow to the penis: lavender, licorice, chocolate, doughnuts and pumpkin pie!

7 it's the new 5

[scott_owen]

best bump ever.

[givememyleg]

Average # of times he will ejaculate from masturbation: 2,000

lol wat.

[kiwiMark]

I assume that's annually.

[JL]

I assume that's annually.

lol was going to post same thing.

[baudib]

When I was a kid I worked with a guy who was leading a double life.

I don't mean to derail this with an essay, but he was an amazing, scary guy and I haven't spoken to anyone about him for at least 15 years. and it's a cool story, bro.

He had been Special Ops in Vietnam. He had advanced martial arts training, including crazy fucking Kill Bill shit where every move was a kill/maim move, with heavy emphasis on taking your opponent's eyes out. He demonstrated how to do this by practicing on watermelons. His hands were incredibly mangled, having broken every finger at least three times doing this stuff. This guy had arms like clubs and was amazingly agile for a guy his age and build. If MMA had been around 25 years earlier, he would have been a top competitor, IMO.

He always had a gun on him and his gun was named "Bruno."

He was also an expert bomb maker and taught me how to make bombs out of household items. Sometimes he would go in the back and shoot stuff up or go in the alleyway and set off bombs for kicks. I don't know why, but he never got in trouble for anything. When a bomb would go off, people would run out and say, "WTF" and someone would tell them what happened, and no one would bother him or even call the cops.

He maintained his day job only for medical benefits because he refused to go to military hospitals. He would take "medical leave" for 6-8 months a year, and no one questioned this because he was so fucking scary. Every time he came back, he would either return having gained 60 pounds, lost 60 pounds, or with some sort of plastic surgery, or show up with a $100K car. One year he returned dressed like a pimp with $3,000 alligator shoes and a scar that ran from under his eye to his jaw. He disappeared again and two weeks later he returned and there was no sign of the scar.

Among our group, he took me into his confidence for reasons I won't elaborate on, and he still didn't really tell me anything. He was also a master manipulator and every word out of his mouth was calculated, and for effect. In a weird way, he could also be the most loyal, dependable friend you could ever have. We always speculated about him, but the best I could figure out was that he was some sort of muscle guy/bodyguard for someone in organized crime.

He did tell me some incredible stories, about how he was shot out of a plane in Vietnam and was unconscious in a tree for 2 days. How he sent 12 guys to the hospital and destroyed a bar in the city by himself. The next day, the cops went to his dojo to speak to his master (someone fairly famous in martial arts), and his master beat him senselessly.

Anyway, one year he came back and his dick was fucking enormous. I mean it was so big you couldn't help but notice it, and everyone talked about it when he wasn't around. "When did ("Bruno" not his real name, although we got calls asking for him by that name) get such a huge dick?" You could see it protruding from his pants and it almost touched his knee.

[Monty3038]

Tell me about the conversation you were having when this came up. Did she tell you or your wife. I'm most interested in the reaction. I mean, you probably want to sound impressed but not too impressed, amirite? Aloof but not too aloof. Surprised but not salivating.

Ok... I'll admit, it was a weird fucking conversation and we were all a little drunk... an no, sorry, no good sex with the sister in law story afterwards (though she is hotter than the wife). My wife had told me that was the only reason they were still together and then after their divorce is when the conversation happened... The discussion was focused on how he, being 33, was pulling a 19year old. And my sister in law says, probably his 10 inch dick. And then explains. That was a little over 6 months ago... last week the 19 year old proposed to him and he threw her out.

Guess having a big dick has privileges.

[Monty3038]

FTR's come so far since this thread's birth. If someone started it now-a-days I don't think anyone would bat an eye. Back then everyone was freaked right out. I always thought of ISF's commune threads being among the worst but now that I look back he was actually ahead of his time.

Also, Warpe trouncing Lukie was a beautiful thing.

Plus, this thread also has one of my favorite FTR exchanges ever: http://www.flopturnriver.com/pokerfo...ml#post1322483

Hey, they took away our pokerz... what did you expect?

[bigred]

Sister in law's ex husband... my sister in law even admits it was too much to handle. She admits that is why they were together so long as well... According to her 10 inches and hard to get her hand all the way around.

Insecurity running high for me today...

[DropTheBanana]

Insecurity running high for me today...

How to Eat Pussy Like a Champ - How To - Literotica.com