Being an Asshole

[Micro2Macro]

Your not allowed to ride bikes on the sidewalk, bikes are a vehicle, not a pedestrian. City politicians here are bending over backwards to put bike lanes all over the city and we are losing lanes of road. Particularly in the downtown core.

god bikers in toronto are so annyoing

they think they own the road. they never even follow traffic signals and are always swerving out in front of cars. no wonder that one guy died a little while back up on bloor or wherever it was. its too bad cities in canada will never be able to create a bike path system even close to that of euro cities such as amsterdam.

[bigred]

Isn't it illegal to ride your bike on the sidewalk?

[jyms]

yes

[bigred]

So he's a dbl ahole

[Luke999]

Texting my phonebook at 5am regulary hoping to wake them up.
Spamming people I know who have important meetings/busy with essays etc
Putting spicy sauce into friends drinks
Doing a loud pitch Nazgul scream out of the car as we drive past people (best result was a girl falling off her bike)
If im drunk and walk home rather than get a taxi, I steal a pushbike just to ride downhill then put it nicely against the wall.

etc etc standard stuff

[Monty3038]

i think another post will do for a whole screen of synchronized bouncing titties

Being an asshole -1
Winning the thread for bouncing boobies +1

[oskar]

I always slow down when someone tailgates me... didn't think of that as an asshole thing to do. An asshole would pull the handbrake (pro tip: no brake lights).
I guess not letting people in who wait for the last second to change from a closed lane when it was announced for miles makes me an asshole too. I've come dangerously close to some, but he drives a BMW - his rims are worth more than the resale value of my entire car. We'll see who chickens out first.

[donkbee]

Your not allowed to ride bikes on the sidewalk, bikes are a vehicle, not a pedestrian. City politicians here are bending over backwards to put bike lanes all over the city and we are losing lanes of road. Particularly in the downtown core.

yeah in downtown vancouver there are crazy bike lanes everywhere now. I'm never gonna drive downtown again if I can help it because now there's nowhere to park.

[boost]

I always slow down when someone tailgates me... didn't think of that as an asshole thing to do. An asshole would pull the handbrake (pro tip: no brake lights).
I guess not letting people in who wait for the last second to change from a closed lane when it was announced for miles makes me an asshole too. I've come dangerously close to some, but he drives a BMW - his rims are worth more than the resale value of my entire car. We'll see who chickens out first.

ha.. while I don't do it as much, I still like to play the chicken game when people try to merge into my lane or I am trying to merge in and they are trying to block me. Its all about angles, and its at low speed, so its not a twitch reaction game but a mind game. When blocking, what people fail to do is angle towards the intruder as they pull forward. Most people try to block while giving up ground.

Also you can't brake check with the e-brake for the reason you stated. You're not trying to get them to rearend you. You want to jolt your car and flash your brake lights so it appears to them as if they will rearend you, they overcompensate and slam on their brakes as you peel off after quickly jabbing yours. Pulling the e-brake when someone is tailgating you seems really -ev.

[spoonitnow]

ha.. while I don't do it as much, I still like to play the chicken game when people try to merge into my lane or I am trying to merge in and they are trying to block me. Its all about angles, and its at low speed, so its not a twitch reaction game but a mind game. When blocking, what people fail to do is angle towards the intruder as they pull forward. Most people try to block while giving up ground.

Also you can't brake check with the e-brake for the reason you stated. You're not trying to get them to rearend you. You want to jolt your car and flash your brake lights so it appears to them as if they will rearend you, they overcompensate and slam on their brakes as you peel off after quickly jabbing yours. Pulling the e-brake when someone is tailgating you seems really -ev.

If you were Bill Gates, would you do it anyway? I have to say it would at least cross my mind.

[boost]

If you were Bill Gates, would you do it anyway? I have to say it would at least cross my mind.

what? no!.. as a billionaire it makes even less sense to risk life and limb.

[a500lbgorilla]

But you're a billionaire, science will save you.

For six million dollars, I've seen a man practically become a superhero.

[spoonitnow]

I get bad road rage. Just today some Polish dude cut me up a roundabout (really bad, if I wasn't on the ball he would've sideswiped me). I beep the horn and flash my lights at him and w/e.

Anyway, turns out we were both going to same shopping centre, so I follow him into the car park and park next to him. He stays in his car but his awful looking fat Polish wife gets out. I just say, keeping my cool as best I can, "your husband is an awful driver", she gives me the finger, and I walk off towards the entrance.

Before I even get to the entrance this Polish guy bolts out of his car after me, bumps into me and goes "hey what the fuck did you say to my wife asshole". I just say "I told her that you are an awful driver and then she gave me the finger, which is a public order offence. You cutting me up is careless driving. That's 2 criminal offences to you and none to me, and I've taken your registration down, so I would suggest you leave".

Only needed one thing from shop, came out about a minute later and their car was gone. Using words to great effect ftw

That said, I really need to stop myself getting road rage...

Haha you're banned.

[lolzzz_321]

damn we need another ftr confessions thread

[KoRnholio]

At this one bar here, there's like a flight of 20-some stairs downstairs to the bathrooms. I was near the top of the staircase and I see this pair of shoes just sitting there begging to be booted. So I wind up and kick them as hard as I can, one flies down the stairs and the other across the bar floor upstairs. This chick comes up to my all hysterical and in my face "WHY DID YOU DO THAT THOSE WERE MY SHOES!". I nearly pissed myself laughing. But really- why you walking around barefoot at the bar?

[spoonitnow]

[02:43] <spoon> did you see where i asked harleyguy's wife for tits on fb
[02:43] <m2m> lol yes
[02:44] <m2m> that was fucking hilarious

[Monty3038]

At this one bar here, there's like a flight of 20-some stairs downstairs to the bathrooms. I was near the top of the staircase and I see this pair of shoes just sitting there begging to be booted. So I wind up and kick them as hard as I can, one flies down the stairs and the other across the bar floor upstairs. This chick comes up to my all hysterical and in my face "WHY DID YOU DO THAT THOSE WERE MY SHOES!". I nearly pissed myself laughing. But really- why you walking around barefoot at the bar?

Married the barefoot girl at the bar... my wife always takes her shoes off when she drinks... keeps her from stumbling as bad.

[BennyLaRue]

Married the barefoot girl at the bar... my wife always takes her shoes off when she drinks... keeps her from stumbling as bad.

wtf

Is she walking around barefoot in these situations or in stocking feet? I can't decide which is grosser.

[Monty3038]

wtf

Is she walking around barefoot in these situations or in stocking feet? I can't decide which is grosser.

Well... she normally drops the shoes under her chair, then puts them on when going to the bathroom or such...

But Benny, what kind of dirty chicks do you hang out with, in what kind of dives, that you are so concerned about them being barefoot (either you think their feet are dirty and disgusting, or you feel the bar is too dirty for their feet to be exposed in) ? Haven't you ever seen the huddle of women on the dance floor holding their shoes because they can't dance in their heels? That grosses you out?

Oh, and remember, the women's restroom is not nearly as filthy as the mens in most joints.

[jyms]

Oh, and remember, the women's restroom is not nearly as filthy as the mens in most joints.

Seriously disagree with this. Women are way more disgusting in so many ways when it comes to using public bathrooms. Men use urinals and barely stop to use the sink. Women stand to pee in toilets, won't touch anything that falls on the ground so they leave it, and overflow almost every waste bin in the bathrooms within a few hours. Talk to more women about this. I've escorted my wife and her friends in to several men's bathrooms because of the nature of the women's bathrooms on several occasions over the last ten years.

[BennyLaRue]

But Benny, what kind of dirty chicks do you hang out with, in what kind of dives

Stop right there. Any public establishment...a fucking library for all I care but ESPECIALLY somewhere where food is served and ppl are drunk and tracking bar bathroom catastrophe everywhere...is going to have the kind of floor I don't want my feet touching, let alone a woman's foot that I might want touching me later.

U goin get AIDS, son.

[jyms]

hehe, benny likes feet. (I read between the lines)

[spoonitnow]

A few years ago when Michelle and I hadn't been seeing each other for a particularly long time, my ex-girlfriend called me and was crying and all this because her then boyfriend had gotten drunk and beat her.

Fast-forward to last night. I realized that if I had a time machine, I'd go back in time and "cool story bro" her. I wish I'd known about cool story bro sooner.

[kiwiMark]

fuck the haters, I rock barefoot all over the show.

[BennyLaRue]

fuck the haters, I rock barefoot all over the show.

No prob. Your feet will not ever touch ma junk.

[KoRnholio]

Seriously disagree with this. Women are way more disgusting in so many ways when it comes to using public bathrooms. Men use urinals and barely stop to use the sink. Women stand to pee in toilets, won't touch anything that falls on the ground so they leave it, and overflow almost every waste bin in the bathrooms within a few hours. Talk to more women about this. I've escorted my wife and her friends in to several men's bathrooms because of the nature of the women's bathrooms on several occasions over the last ten years.

QFT. Especially about the squating/standing up peeing. Men can barely aim their piss facing the right direction and with a hose. Women are shooting backwards out of a gap and they have no concern over where it lands, just that their ass doesn't touch that seat.

[kiwiMark]

I can repent

[donkbee]

QFT. Especially about the squating/standing up peeing. Men can barely aim their piss facing the right direction and with a hose. Women are shooting backwards out of a gap and they have no concern over where it lands, just that their ass doesn't touch that seat.

how the hell do you know, are you a woman?

[d0zer]

being an asshole is almost always -EV and usually representative of some suboptimal mental patterns.

[KoRnholio]

how the hell do you know, are you a woman?

lol no! These facts come up in pretty much every convo with women regarding public washrooms. Maybe I talk about bathrooms too much. But better bathrooms than feet. Feet are so nasty.

[spoonitnow]

being an asshole is almost always -EV and usually representative of some suboptimal mental patterns.

canada sucks balls you athiest communist socialist tree-hugging pothead pussy sack of shit

[Micro2Macro]

i quite enjoy watching trees burn to the ground tyvm

[Monty3038]

canada sucks balls you athiest communist socialist tree-hugging pothead pussy sack of shit

What an asshole.

jk

[d0zer]

What an asshole.

jk

why would you be jk about that?

spoon IS a f'n asshole. Self-admitted one too.

[dranger7070]

^

[spoonitnow]

I absolutely hate being an asshole. I force myself to do it in spots where it probably doesn't really matter too much so that I become more used to it (and possibly better at it?) so that I can be an asshole when I need to or when it's strategically correct to do so.

Recently I'm rethinking this. Basically, I'm not sure if profit or advantage is sufficient motive to cause someone suffering. Thoughts?

[swiggidy]

If someone is waiting to pull out into traffic in their car, I always give space. But if they're being slow or not paying attention I cut them off. Fuck you passive bitches.

[Monty3038]

why would you be jk about that?

spoon IS a f'n asshole. Self-admitted one too.

On the small chance that if I ever get serious about playing again, he might give me a hand again.

[Illfavor]

Spoon has never ever come across as an asshole to me. He's pretty strong in his convictions but I'm pretty sure beneath that frosty glare is a stuffed bunny rabbit waiting to get its pet on...and of course beneath that is a rapist.

[boost]

being an asshole is almost always -EV

columbine, amirite?

[dranger7070]

I absolutely hate being an asshole. I force myself to do it in spots where it probably doesn't really matter too much so that I become more used to it (and possibly better at it?) so that I can be an asshole when I need to or when it's strategically correct to do so.

Recently I'm rethinking this. Basically, I'm not sure if profit or advantage is sufficient motive to cause someone suffering. Thoughts?

Bold #1: I call bullshit.

Bold $2: You're an asshole.

[spoonitnow]

Bold #1: I call bullshit.

Bold $2: You're an asshole.

cool story bitch

[surviva316]

Spoon has never ever come across as an asshole to me. He's pretty strong in his convictions but I'm pretty sure beneath that frosty glare is a stuffed bunny rabbit waiting to get its pet on...and of course beneath that is a rapist.

it's like he's 3 different people. don't know how chelle puts up with it

[dranger7070]

cool story bitch

Change your avatar to something more gay.

[Carroters]

Always treat people as ends in themselves never mere means to your own ends. I Kant believe you guys.

[kiwiMark]

I SEE WHAT HE DID THERE

[surviva316]

I SEE WHAT HE DID THERE

i don't. lemme reread:

Always treat people as ends in themselves never mere means to your own ends. I cunt finger you guys out.

o nou ic

[spoonitnow]

Change your avatar to something more gay.

semper fi motherfucker

[Imthenewfish]

I make up random lies without having any intention of personal gain from them

[boost]

I make up random lies without having any intention of personal gain from them

these are the most fun lies to tell.

[Tasha]

I absolutely hate being an asshole. I force myself to do it in spots where it probably doesn't really matter too much so that I become more used to it (and possibly better at it?) so that I can be an asshole when I need to or when it's strategically correct to do so.

Recently I'm rethinking this. Basically, I'm not sure if profit or advantage is sufficient motive to cause someone suffering. Thoughts?

It is bad karma and karma makes the world go round.

[Tasha]

Genetically, I am unable to be an asshole as that is purely male privilege. I can be a bitch though.

When people drive right up behind me on the motorway and flash their lights because they want to sweep me into another lane I wait a bit, then a bit more, then I put my indicator on, then I check the mirror, then I check the indicator is on, then I start to move oh so slowly into the the other lane, halting now and then, before I finally get there.

[boost]

Genetically, I am unable to be an asshole as that is purely male privilege. I can be a bitch though.

When people drive right up behind me on the motorway and flash their lights because they want to sweep me into another lane I wait a bit, then a bit more, then I put my indicator on, then I check the mirror, then I check the indicator is on, then I start to move oh so slowly into the the other lane, halting now and then, before I finally get there.

haha, I like this.. a lot less aggressive than the brake check, but altogether I think its lack of variance and prolonged lawls make it better.

[Tasha]

Amazingly, once the lane is clear a lot of them seem to forget they are in a hurry and pull alongside so they can shout some abuse at you.
Naturally, I keep my eyes on the road like a good driver should and completely ignore them which only tilts them even more.

[dranger7070]

semper fi motherfucker

Can't wait til karma comes in and backhands you.

[HarleyGuy13]

Being an asshole.....This causes me to ponder so many things in life. As a young man raised in a broken home (no father from infancy) moving multiple times and never willing to be a victim only because I was the new kid I learned to be an asshole. Growing up I never really gave it much thought all I knew was for some reason it made me feel better about myself or maybe I thought it made me look better to others? I was always accepted by the "Cool kids" and nobody ever fucked with me.

When I married my wife and started being a responsible person things changed. I started looking at people in a different way. I learned to respect others and except them even if they were different or "Odd." I no longer needed exceptance or was worried about being a victim etc.

Then I joined a profession that many would consider professional assholes and I excelled at it. Although I reserved the MAJOR asshole for those who truly deserved it. My moto was treat everybody with the amount of respect the would allow me to. By this I mean some people refuse to allow you to treat them with respect. And for them it was like "Game On Bitch" and I ALWAYS won that game. I have made many a grown man and woman cry. I have made their lives living hell atleast for the time they had to be with me. Most were totally aware by the end of their experience they had fucked up big time and should have chosen to take the other path!

But the overwhelming majority of the time I would treat people with more respect than they ever imagined was possible whether it was being interviewed, receiving a citation or even going to jail. I received numerous letters, cards, gifts even food baskets around the holidays (had to throw that out unfortionatly, couldn't take chances) from people I had contact with.

The reason I tell this story is because although it was fun to fuck with the dumbass's etc I took far more pride in the positive contacts. I've never regretted treating somebody with respect although I vow someday to find Scott Fleck and Shelby Bishop and other to apologize to their faces for the mean things I did to them as a young man. I truly regret knowing that I had something to do with people regretting having to go to school or what not because they knew some asshole like me was going to make their day a living hell.

I raised two sons and vowed my sons would not be assholes. They would be the ones who stood up for the weird kids when they were being picked on. They would be the ones who would find something kind to say to the kid who never heard a kind word directed at them. I raised two very good men and I am proud!

As far as those I was an asshole to as an officer.....FUCK THEM they were/are shit bags and that aint my problem. They grew up and made their decisions so be it!

Sorry for the rambling

[a500lbgorilla]

It is bad karma and karma makes the world go round.

Yeah, but it doesn't.

[HarleyGuy13]

Ok, mine is pretty much something I should probably be arrested for. When someone is an asshole driver, cuts me off, flips me off, something, especially if older, smaller, or female, I get in the lane behind them and follow them for a few turns, until they become alarmed and then turn off. I've many times followed someone to their driveway and cussed them out from the road. Pretty much a road rage thing... I think it's pretty much illegal.

This made me think of this----> YouTube - Stupid rednecks

Splitting lanes on a really loud motorcycle scaring the crap outta unsuspecting motorists while my wife on the back kicks off the mirrors of anyone who merges to close.

Wow have to say this is the stupidist thing ever! Anytime you're on two wheels and you fuck with somebody on 4 it's -EV for sure. Then you add your wife into the mix and it's just fucking retarded. Some people shouldn't ride motorcycles bro.
If this offends you to fucking bad I'd rather offend you than read your obituary. I really hope this was a joke?

[Tasha]

Yeah, but it doesn't.

I know. It's money that makes the world go round and those that don't have enough of it have to make do with karma instead 'cos it's cheap and easy.

[ilikeaces86]

I make up random lies without having any intention of personal gain from them

[spoonitnow]

Can't wait til karma comes in and backhands you.

Cool story bitch. While you're at it, get the flying spaghetti monster to rain down fire.

[supa]

This made me think of this----> YouTube - Stupid rednecks



Wow have to say this is the stupidist thing ever! Anytime you're on two wheels and you fuck with somebody on 4 it's -EV for sure. Then you add your wife into the mix and it's just fucking retarded. Some people shouldn't ride motorcycles bro.
If this offends you to fucking bad I'd rather offend you than read your obituary. I really hope this was a joke?

Honestly it's not as dangerous as it sounds. The cagers aren't going anywhere, they're stuck in fucking traffic, ldo. It's also mainly used as to retaliation against they themselves being assholes who are literally trying to cut me off risking both mine and my wifes lives. It's legal to split lanes here so you can bet your ass I'm not gonna sit in LA traffic for an hour or two when I don't have to on my bike, air cooled v-twin and all.

Thanks for the concern but as long as we're offending eachother, I don't really take riding advice from wanna be outlaw bikers who think chrome is better than horsepower and use pictures of 1%ers as there avatars.

Pistolerro don't ride with the 666ers.

[supa]

Haha, I got to be an asshole in the asshole thread.

In B4 superAhole or whatever.

[kiwiMark]

can this thread please just be renamed to "bros, post your cool stories in here"

[spoonitnow]

nsfw language, fucking hilarious YouTube - Boondocks: Riley's Fuck You Rant (Uncensored)

[poke_her_4_life]

This thread is awesome and you got to love a little fucking crazy humor in poker... Bad Ass

[spoonitnow]

yeah i'm cool like that

while i'm at it, fuck the metric system

[dranger7070]

Everyone look at spoon! He's so cool and edgy.

[Micro2Macro]

lol banned

[WeaselT]

it's like being the smartest kid with down syndrome .

[spoonitnow]

I wanted to share this but it doesn't really fit because it wasn't me who did it, but while we were on the school bus in high school, some guy threw a full 20 oz drink at the back of our bus driver's head pretty hard and knocked the shit out of him and we ran off onto the side of the road and made a bit scene and all of this. No one got hurt but we were pretty lucky; if it had been a quarter mile or so before or after there's about a 30 foot drop on that side of the road so we probably would have flipped.

[Tasha]

No one got hurt

Except the bus driver and who cares about him?

[HarleyGuy13]

Thanks for the concern but as long as we're offending eachother, I don't really take riding advice from wanna be outlaw bikers who think chrome is better than horsepower and use pictures of 1%ers as there avatars.
Pistolerro don't ride with the 666ers.

Umm it's actually Jay Dobyns an ATF agent who penetrated the HellsAngels. Jay Dobyns - Biography & C.V. But nice try anyhow!

Advice wasn't really coming from the "wanna be biker" side of me but more the guy who has scraped people off the pavement for many years.

It's all good.

[TheLongGrind]

I once took a dump in a pizza roll and handed it over to my best friend who took 2 bites before he noticed that ' there's something funny about it' , 'hey mate can u chechk the expiry date?' true story

[Tasha]

Friendship is different in Belgium.
Does he still laugh about it today when you get together to talk about the old times?